Just want to thank my reviewers for all your interest that you have shown me^^

Really makes my day, thank you!

So, normally I wouldn't post up two chapters in a day but just because I'm all hyped up about your reviews... See how they work on me?

The more I get, the more I wanna upload!

without further ado~ here is chapter four!

Chapter 4

The sky rumbled as it poured down with rain.

The three walked, caught up in their own thoughts.

Harry felt his brain go fuzzy and his breaths returned to shallow intakes of air as a result of his burning chest. It took everything he had left in him to stop a moan escape from him. He was sure that if he couldn't get himself back inside fast enough, he would most definitely pass out from the pain and lack of oxygen. His head continued to pound as he stumbled on behind Ron and Hermione.

His gaze stayed on the ground as he watched the rain pour down on Hogwart's courtyard. Harry suddenly noticed a shade of red in the streams of rain as his eyes followed ahead and saw what made him nearly black out in horror.

He saw blood being washed down from a mass near him on the ground to his right. It was hard to notice at first glance but he recognised Lavendar's long locks soaked with blood on her head along with her crumpled body that was being soaked with rain. He couldn't see her face. She was laid on her side with her back to him, much too still.

Harry stopped, unable to control his feet. He saw as two other people from the castle hurried towards her body, shouting things to each other that he couldn't hear through the rain and the new ringing in his ears. They took her and lifted her up on a conjured stretcher and disappeared with her into the side entrance to the hall.

Harry felt his stomach walls repulse violently as he rapidly swallowed and clutched at it, trying to calm it down. His breathing stopped entirely from the pain that his chest caused when he did this. He sunk to his knees and let one hand fall to support him as he kept the other tightly around his stomach, his legs were unable to support him any longer as he tore his gaze away from the blood that continued to flow down with the heavy rain. Harry shut his eyes, wanting to block out what he had just seen and would never forget.

He felt arms surrounding him just as he unintentionally let out a pained gasp and groaned in effort to fight his nausea. His face lost its mask, revealing his agony that hid behind it.

Ron looked worriedly at Hermione as he tried to support Harry on the ground. Harry looked like he was going to be violently sick in any moment and his face looked as if he was straining against a silent torture curse with his eyes tightly shut. Ron gripped Harry's shoulders tighter as he gasped for breath and suddenly coughed and threw up the small amount of what his stomach had held. He pulled him back against his chest before Harry could collapse forward in his own sick. Hermione was rubbing his back, trying to soothe him.

Harry's shoulders shook as he let slip a rasping cry, his hand was pressing down into his chest. Ron needed to get them out of the rain.

"Okay, it's ok just try to stay awake."

He watched Hermione vanish Harry's mess and then tried pulling Harry up with him with an arm around his front. Harry's breathing hitched when he did this. He leaned his face into Ron's shoulder in pain.

Ron's eyes widened in panic as he quickly brought Harry back down to the ground and slightly released his hold, afraid that he was causing him more pain. He heard Harry's short, struggled moans that were stiffled against his shirt and felt as his body shook uncontrollably in his arms.

"Ron, we've got to get him to Hospital wing! He-!" Hermione started but stopped as Harry suddenly grabbed her arm shaking his head violently.

As soon as Harry heard Hermione saying the words "Hospital Wing" he needed to protest. He knew he had to get a grip on himself and he forced himself to draw a deep breath. This only resulted in another desperate coughing fit as he kept his grip on Hermione's arm, making sure she wouldn't run off to call anyone that had anything to do with the hospital wing. He was desperate for more air.

It wasn't after quite a while before Harry could control his breathing again. Ron moved his hands gently back up to both his shoulders and watched him, frightened.

"Harry we need to get you inside. Do you think you could get up-" Hermione began again.

"N-no, Hermione. I don't need the Hospital Wing," Harry answered her, his eyes on the ground again. He was absolutely exhausted from this. He so wished he could just lie on the wet grounds where he sat…. just close his eyes and go to sleep… never to be awoken again.

He felt like such a coward… A failure in his own words… A hopeless burden on his friends who already had so much to deal without him causing more worry.

"Harry but really, let's just go ins-" Hermione persisted

"No I don't want-"

"Harry, you can't just stay here! At least let us take you to Madam-"

"Please Hermione just- I'm fine ok? Please…" Harry looked at Ron in absolute desperation. He didn't need this right now – They didn't need this right now. Didn't they understand? He couldn't believe he let himself lose control in front of them when he swore he would be strong for them all. Now he was just becoming another problem for them to have to stress about.

Ron saw Harry look to him for support which is exactly what he wanted to give his friend whenever he could – but he wasn't sure if it would be the right thing in this given situation. It was clear that Harry needed some help. He must be in a hell lot of pain… Ron had never seen him so out of control like this, even when his scar had given him the worst.

He knew that dying couldn't have left his friend perfectly fine… and he still found himself disturbed at the idea of how Harry was obviously trying to hide these things from them. He couldn't understand what made him always be so secretive about his problems and pains. They had known each other since his first day on the train. Shouldn't Harry already be aware that his two best friends were now more than just able to sense the slightest of problems that he had? But still he seemed to somehow feel the obligation to hide it from them, the problems and emotions he had upon him at any situation.

The rain began pounding down in earnest now. Ron looked at his drenched friends as he realised for the first time how cold he felt. His body was slowly becoming numb from the cold water that soaked up his clothes.

"Ron, we need to get ourselves inside," Hermione demanded wildly, looking truly panicked now.

"Alright, Harry. I'm going to help you up.. Just hold on to me.." Ron said as he took Harry's arm and attempted to put it around his own neck when Harry began to push him away furiously.

"Ron no! You don't need to take me to Madame Pomphrey! I'm really fine! Please just listen to me-" Harry pushed himself away from Ron's hold and fell back on his hands, wincing as his sudden outburst of movement caused another searing pain in his chest. His head began to feel awfully heavy as he took panicked breaths.

In truth... apart from not wanting to become more of a burden to them… he genuinely wanted to avoid Hospital Wing for the rest of his stay here. He didn't want to go up and smell the what the medicinal potions left behind in the air. He didn't want to be forced under the white sheets of the beds there again… But most importantly – he didn't want to hear the pain or see the wounds that the battle had caused for so many others.

Just thinking of this, he began to feel his body tremble in fear and his stomach beginning to clench itself up in dread.

"Woah ok, alright Harry. We don't have to go see Pomphrey. No hospital wing, alright? It's ok, just relax and try to breathe, mate." Ron's concerned voice rang through his ears. "But really, Harry. We can't stay out here. We're gonna ge' soaked or possibly even drown if this keeps going."

Assured by this, Harry felt Ron's hold back on him and his arm swung around his neck. He made no attempts to push him away this time. He regretfully heard a relieved sigh from Ron and Hermione.

They continued their way up and made their to Gryffindor Tower with Hermione directing them, choosing the path that avoided the hall entirely on their way. Harry was thankful for that.

He was beginning to feel a familiar sensation of his insides being bottled up with the different kinds of pain he had faced that day. Everything was happening too vividly and in such full-blow.

He felt the urge to scream out the anger, pain, guilt and all the other emotions that were helplessly locked inside of him.

He felt he needed to set the emotions free but realised he didn't know how. Ever since he could remember, he was forced to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself. The Dursley's sure like it that way and made sure to threaten him with almost everything and anything they could think of, if he ever showed signs of wanting to rid of these feelings in their presence.

He was never able to open up to anyone else intentionally, not even with the smallest of things that were causing him hurt… He eventually lost the key or forgot the combination that would trigger the locked door of a certain place of his heart to open and reveal his pains. Once in a while the feelings became too much and overwhelming that it came crashing out of its cage in its own accord but these events were few.

So please fill me in with your thoughts by sending more reviews that will fuel me up to get the next chapter up faster! ;)