Chapter 4: Try not to Piss off Billie

There was a moment of stunned silence.

"Pregnant, Pheebs?" Piper asked. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm totally sure, the doctor confirmed it this morning!" Phoebe grinned, her face pink with excitement.

"Oh Phoebe that's great!" Paige said, getting up and going over to her sister's chair. "How along are you?"

"Three months." Phoebe admitted.

"Three months? Phoebe, why didn't you tell us earlier?" Paige demanded.

"Oh, I don't know! Just incase it turned out to be a glitch or something!" Phoebe replied, waving her arm randomly.

"Oh honey, that's fantastic!" Piper said, reaching over to give her sister a one armed hug. "Does Coop know?"

"No, I was going to surprise him after I told you guys." Piper opened her mouth. "And yes, it is Coop's baby thankyou very much!" Phoebe cut across her. Piper's jaw clamped shut.

"Well, Phoebe, we think it's amazing. We know you've wanted a baby for ages - we're happy for you!" Paige gabbled. Phoebe seemed to delirious to notice Paige's sudden quickness of speaking (or indeed Piper giving her a short kick under the table for her pains) but instead waltzed out the room, singing;

"Bill - ie! I have new - ews!" Piper and Paige waited until she was out the room before flopping back down on the table.

"Well, she seems excited." Paige commented.

"Argh!" Piper exclaimed in response, putting her head in her hands.

"Dada," Chris spoke up suddenly. "Why is Aunt Febe so cookoo?"

"Er.." Pogue replied, visably awkward. "Well........"

"Honey, you're aunt's always cuckoo!" Piper interupted, sitting up to face him. "Don't worry about it." Wyatt nodded and didn't say anything, trying to be the big boy though his eyes burned to know while Chris looked doubtfully between Pogue and Piper.

"Erm, Piper..." Caleb began but Piper cut him off with a warning glare, gesturing to the two minors.

"Desert guys?" Paige asked, timidlly.

(* * * * *)

"Well, thanks for the dinner Piper!" Phoebe said later, hugging her sister tightly while Paige put on her coat. It was past midnight; Wyatt and Chris had been put to bed a couple of hours ago and everyone had become very drousy and stupid though it was only after the third glass had been dropped did Paige decide it was best that she orbed her and Phoebe home.

"Ah, don't be silly! You get to taste my dinner nearly every week!" Piper reminded her, patting her on the back.

"Yea, I know." Phoebe grinned, breaking away from the hug and grinning again.

"I forget is Phoebe pregnant or under a spell?" Paige hissed in Piper's ear, who gave a short laugh. Phoebe, who had turned to Billie and the guys; all lined up in a row in the hallway, didn't hear them.

"Oh Billie! Good luck, don't be afraid to call." Phoebe said, enveloping Billie in a huge hug.

"I won't be, especially now that you're pregnant and I won't be afraid of interupting." Billie replied, cheekily.

"Hey! Don't talk to me about interupting when you're the one whose going to be living with four gorgeous guys!" Phoebe told her, moving onto the Covenant who now all bore faces of extreme worry - well, three of them did.

"Yea, lucky me." Billie muttered. Tyler and Caleb looked at her but Phoebe, again, was too wrapped up in her own happy world to hear.

"If I was eighteen again, I would be all over you - heck! I'm still all over you!" She continued, throwing herself on Tyler and Reid and hugging them tightly. "I can sense great things about you four!" she told them, squeezing the two boys so hard that they began to turn blue.

"Er, Phoebe? I really have to leave now, so if you could-?" Paige prompted, coming to Reid and Tyler's rescue.

"Oh of course!" Phoebe released Tyler and Reid and, after one last wave, took Paige's hand.

"See you guys." Paige grinned at them before orbing her and Phoebe out. Piper stared at the space where Phoebe and Paige had been for a few minutes before turning to the remaining five.

"Well, do you want anything else specifically?" she asked, tiredly. The five shook their heads. "Well, okay then." Piper finished, awkwardly before heading off in the direction of the kitchen.

"Piper," Caleb suddenly ventured. Piper stopped and looked at him. "Erm, it's just... when Phoebe told you, a-about being pregnant. You didn't seem... very... excited." he trailed off, warily. Piper considered what he had said for a moment.

"Well, Caleb." she began, awkwardly. "Having a baby is something that Phoebe has been desperate for for a while now. The last time she was pregnant there were.... complications which, understandably, left her quite drained. I guess I don't want to see a repeat." she shrugged.

"Oh." said Caleb, nodding like he understood. Piper nodded too and smiled at them all briefly.

"Well, goodnight then." she said, before disappearing into the kitchen.

"She's not so scary." Tyler said, after a few seconds.

"She's a mom. They're all scary and not to be trusted." Reid replied, shortly.

"Oh give over Reid, you like her too and you know it." Tyler told him, cuffing him playfully around the head.

"Piss off!" Reid cussed, grabbing Tyler in a noogie.

"Guys chill!" Caleb snapped at them, the only result being that he found himself under attack and the three fell to the floor in a cheerful, swearing heap. Pogue shook his head, grinning broadly, making sure to keep a safe enough distance away from grabbing point. He felt someone's eyes on him and turned to see Billie looking at him. Noticing she'd been caught, she blushed and smiled, nervously.

"Chris seemed to like you."

"Yea." Pogue agreed, not really quite sure what else there was he could say.

"Well, I guess I'll see you guys in the morning." Billie told them, giving them a half-hearted wave and near running up the stairs. The Covenant watched her leave, three of them frozen in their fight positions.

"Dude." was all Reid could say once she'd left.

"Hey, remember what Phoebe said." Caleb reminded him.

"Chill out, I'm not going to screw her - not yet anyway...."

"If you do you'll have four witches on your tail. Piper being the one in the lead." Caleb continued, darkly.

"I'm not scared of them!" Reid shrugged, nonchalant.

"Er, right." Tyler said, exchanging a look with Pogue. "What happened to; they're scary and not to be trusted?"

"Shut up, Baby Boy!" Reid snapped, clipping him around the ear.

(* * * * *)

"WAKEY-WAKEY! RISE AND SHINE!" Caleb shot up in bed along with the other three boys, scared shitless.

"AH! CRAP!" he yelled, rubbing his eyes and looking around blearily. "Billie?" The blonde was standing over him, already dressed and holding a megaphone. "What the hell are you doing?" he asked, grabbing his sheets around him.

"Relax, I've seen worse." Billie told him, nodding towards his chest.

"You nearly made Baby Boy piss himself, what's your damage?" Reid asked, stretching and showing off his own, considerably muscled torso.

"What this? It was the only way to wake you Sleeping Beauties." she replied, chucking a stray pillow at him. "Come on, Piper said breakfast is ready."

"What's the time?" Caleb asked, fumbling for the bedside clock.

"Ten past eight." Billie tolld him.

"In the morning?" Tyler asked, blinking rapidly and scratching his head. "Dude no way."

"Hey, I'm not giving you the option!" Billie told him, yanking off his duvet. "Now, come on all of you! UP!"

"Sure, sure. Five minutes." Pogue told her, rolling over. Caleb, Reid and Tyler made to do the same; snuggling into their pillows and closing their eyes. Billie rolled her eyes and raised the megaphone.

"IF I HAVE TO STAND HERE ALL MORNING YELLING AT YOU UNTIL YOU GET THOSE FAT, LAZY ASSES OUT OF BED THEN I WILL! NOW GET UP!" there was a pause. "NOW!"

(* * * * *)

"Billie woke you up then?" Piper grinned as the four guys slouched into the kitchen, looking half dead.

"Gee, you think?" Reid spat and receiving a jab in the rib cage from Caleb for his rudeness. Piper let it slide, turning her back on them to give Chris and Wyatt their juice, the former grinning broadly at the sight of 'Dada'.

"Well, when breakfast was ready, she was all up for going and waking you." Piper told them, her back still turned so they couldn't see her smile.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting woken up by gorgeous women but not when they're screaming down a fricken megaphone!" Tyler exclaimed. Piper bit the insides of her cheeks to prevent herself from laughing and turned back towards them.

"Well, I can't think where she got that." was all she could reply. "But hey, Billie's a very determined witch."

"She's not going to do this every morning is she?" Caleb asked, cautiously.

"Well, if you get to bed on time it shouldn't be a problem should it?" Piper demanded, enjoying the stricken look that Tyler, Caleb and Reid were displaying of the very thought (Pogue was too busy playing a reluctant game of Peekabo with Chris from across the table). "No, don't worry. I think that she was worried that you'd gotten the wrong impression of her last night."

"Wrong impression?" Reid asked.

"That she was a sad, sensative, delicate little flower. Easy to win over." Piper directed the last bit at Reid more than anyone else. "So, she was probably keen to change that."

"Consider it changed." Tyler muttered, running his hands through his hair.

"Ah Billie!" Piper exclaimed, looking up to see the blonde wander in. "We were just talking about you."

"Bitching about, more like." Billie said, ruffling Wyatt's hair as she made her way over to the fridge.

"Hey, language!" Piper reprimanded her, gesturing to Wyatt and Chris. Billie pulled a face before rumaging in the fridge and bringing out a milk carton.

"Oh Piper please, like they didn't hear language enough when that demon threw you and Phoebe through that window last month." she replied. "Oh, speaking of demons - can I borrow the book of shadows today?"

"Honey, you know we're always willing to encourage your demon-hunting skills but you're forgetting about one thing - well, four things." Piper replied, chopping up banana and nodding towards the Sons. "The sooner they start their training the better."

"Oh Piper!" Billie protested.

"Don't, 'oh Piper' me." Piper cut across her. "They need to learn and as Phoebe's pregnant, you're the next best person to teach them some combat moves!" Billie opened her mouth, unsure whether to be flattered or insulted. "Billie, please?" Billie closed her mouth.

"Fine." she said, banging the carton on the side and going out the kitchen. "Attic, twenty minutes." she added to the sons before disappering out the door.

"Nice to feel wanted, isn't it?" Reid remarked, dryly.

"Hey, word to the wise; do not piss her off today." Piper told him. "If that's at all possible." she added, under her breath.

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I know this was an unforgivably short chapter but I wanted to clear the decks for the combat-attic-total-destruction!

Will update soon! X