Eli's POV
That night I fell asleep with Clare by my side. I love her so much, but something inside of me will not let me fall to fast for her. I was sleeping when all of a sudden I was awaken by the sound of crashing thunder and then by a screaming baby. I sigh as I get up and walk to my daughter's room. I pick her up and bring her back to my bedroom where I find Clare awake and sitting up. "hey baby what time is it?" I sit on the bed, "its 4 in the morning" Clare takes the baby into her arms and rocks her and sighs a sad sigh. "what's wrong?" already knowing the answer. "it's nothing Eli." "you can tell me anything Love". "I just wish…." she didn't have to finish. She wanted baby Julia to be hers. I love Clare, but I am glad that baby Julia is Julia and my baby. Baby Julia is the last piece of Julia that I have, and people don't understand that. "I know Clare, and I am sorry that I brought you into this. This has to be extremely hard on you." she sighs" Eli, I love you and I love your baby. As long as you are in this, I am in this with you." I smile and she hands the baby back to me and she lays down and falls asleep. For a long time, I just sit there and hold the baby while it storms outside.
Flashback
I was laying in bed with Julia when all of a sudden thunder and lightening wake both of us up. She sits up in the bed and looks down at me "I hate thunderstorms" she whispers hoarsely. "why?" "I don't really know, I just do" I sit up and lean against the headboard with her "its alright Jules I'm here" she smiles at me "I know". we sat there for a while until Julia's face turned from calm and content to worry and pain. "Jules what's wrong?" "Oh no" she says through clenched teeth. "I-I think its time Eli" oh my god. Julia stands up and walks down the dark stair case. I go to my parents room and tell them. My mom immediately runs down the stairs and helps Julia into the back seat of the car. My dad and I follow. I sit in the back with her and hold her hand through the contractions. "Eli?" she says through panting "yes?" "I'm scared" "me too. Its gonna be ok though, I promise" she nods and we get to the hospital.
Inside the hospital room
Julia screams as she squeezes my hand tightly. I stand beside her and listen to the nurse ask if Julia planned on using an epidural. Julia nodded which was followed by a scream from having a big ass needle being lodged into her spine. I wish I could do something for her. She looks up at me and smiles "we get to see our baby in a few hours" I sill can't believe that "I know. That's crazy" I was silently freaking out but I couldn't let Julia know that. How is it that she is just so calm and excited? I mean we haven't even really decided if we are keeping this baby. This all came too fast. The doctor walks in with a team of nurses.
Doctor: "alright Julia you are 10 centimeters dilated which means you are ready to push"
Oh my god
Julia: *nods* "ok. I'm ready"
Doctor: "ok on the count of three you will need to give a big push. 1.2.3"
Julia: *pushes and screams*
I cant believe this. This is really happening. I stand beside Julia and hold her hand.
Doctor: "we can see the head so keep pushing"
Julia: *pushes* *starts to struggle to breath*
Something was wrong.
Doctor: *looks at the nurse beside Julia* "ok Julia we are going to give you some oxygen so stay really still for a few moments"
Julia: *hyperventilating* "but what about the baby?"
Doctor: "your baby will be fine but I need you to give a huge push ok? Go"
Julia: *still hyperventilating and pushes*
Julia's eyes were starting to become glazed over. The nurses were surrounding her so I moved back. Something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Doctor: "the head is out! Now the shoulders! One more big push"
Julia: *cant breathe but pushes*
Doctor: "it's a girl!"
I have a daughter. She was bloody and purple. Something was wrong with both of them. I look at Julia to see her eyes roll completely back into her head and she starts to shake violently.
Doctor: "NURSE!"
The nurse runs over and stabs a needle into Julia's arm.
Julia: *barely breathing* w-w-where is the b-b-baby Eli?
The nurse tries to restrain her but Julia kept pushing her away
Julia: "I need to see my baby Eli where is my baby?"
"she's fine Jules. She's with the doctor."
Julia: "wh-why isn't sh-e crying?" *starts to cry*
I started crying. I knew Julia was in danger.
Julia: *eyes start to flutter back and the monitor starts beeping*
Everybody pushes me out of the way and they start to put more needles into her and give her CPR. What's going on? I need to know! that's what I wanted to scream, but I stayed silent. In the back of the room, crying, staring at Julia's violently shaking body. I hear the monitor go from beeping erotically to a single tone.
Doctor: "she's gone"
My head snaps up and I look at the doctor "WHAT? No no no she's fine" I was hysterical now. I was pushing people out of the way so I could get to Julia's side. What just happened? A Nurse was trying to take me out of the room but I refused. I just kept pushing them all away. I needed to be by her. The doctor finally came and grabbed my shoulder and pushes me out of the room. I sit on the floor by the door when the doctor comes out again a few moments later.
I stare. Glazed over with tears running down my face. What the fuck just happened?
Doctor: "I'm sorry, she had a hemorrhage and we couldn't save her''
that's when I started to cry hysterically and I realized I was saying something about the baby.
Doctor: "She is fine. The cord was wrapped around her neck but we got her breathing normally and by herself. She weights 7 pounds 12 ounces. Very healthy. Do you want to hold her?"
I stare at the floor and nod. The doctor goes back into the room to get the baby. I stand up and puke into the trash can beside me. Julia is gone.