Chapter 4 Helen Is Insane Peter's An Idiot And Nobody Is Suprised

Helen stormed back into the flat while carrying Stewie, Dave had gone out for a run so he didn't see Stewie.

"I TOLD YOU NOT TO TRY AND ESCAPE AGAIN DIDN'T I WARN YOU." She screamed.

Stewie looked up at her in defiance and spat in her face.

"Well I'm afraid you can't tell me what to do because you're not my mummy." Stewie barked at her.

"THAT'S IT I'M GETTING SICK OF YOUR ATTITUDE TWO HOURS IN THE ROOM." She screamed at the top of her lungs.

She then flung Stewie into the closet before slamming the door shut. The young infant started banging his fists against the door.

"Hay you can't lock me in here let me out this instance or I swear." Stewie shouted in anger.

"THAT'S IT THREE HOURS IN THE CLOSET AND IF YOU KEEP MAKING THAT NOISE IT'LL BE ALL NIGHT." Helen yelled.

"What will you do if I come out?" Stewie asked in a fearful voice.

"I'll hit you." Helen answered in a calm voice. "So you just stay put and remember that I love you."

Stewie sat down.

"My third attempt at escaping has been foiled but I can keep trying." Stewie said to himself.

Stewie then began to think of ways he could kill that evil woman.

Back at the Griffins house Lois was sitting on the couch and really begining to panic.

"Peter what if we never see Stewie again?" Lois asked in a fearful voice. "What if we can't find him?"

Peter gave Lois a reassuring look.

Don't worry Lois the Police will find him." Peter stated.

Tears then began to form in Lois's eyes.

"But what if it's to late?" She said in a broken voice. "What if he's."

Lois couldn't bare to finish that thought, a lump then formed in her throat, Lois suddenly burst into loud noisy crying, Meg, Chris and Brian watched on in absolute shock as the normally tough and strong willed Lois rocked back and forth while shaking and covering her face with her hands.

"Aww come on honey please don't cry." Peter begged.

He then went to sit on the couch next to Lois, Peter then wrapped his arms around his wife in a hug.

"Shhhhhh, shhhhhhhh there, there it's going to be alright Lois, The Police will get Stewie back and throw that bitch's ass in jail I promise." Peter said in a soothing voice.

"That's just like the time you promised you wouldn't let Stewie out of your sight for a moment." Lois mumbled.

Peter became shocked by this.

"Now hold on Lois it's your fault because you're the one who put our sons safety in my irresponsible hands." Peter explained in a nervous voice.

"Peter the reason I gave Stewie to you was so that you could spend some father son time together." Lois snapped. "I ask you to do one simple thing and you still manage to screw it up."

Peter instantly got up.

"Um I'll be at the Drunken Clam if anyone needs me." Peter stated in a nervous voice.

Peter then dashed out the door feeling that the atmosphere was getting to icy in there.

"Wow Lois I don't think I've ever seen you so worked up before." Brian commented.

"Oh I'm sorry Brian it's just so hard not having Stewie here I've been taken out of my routine." Lois said while sighing.

Peter parked in front of the Drunken Clam and went to open the door.

"Ah the good old Drunken Clam at least nobody hates me in here." Peter said to himself.

However as soon as Peter walked in he noticed that everyone was looking at him with icy stares.

"Um did I come in at a bad time?" Peter questioned with a cluless look on his face.

"Peter you want to know what's up you letting Stewie get kidnapped again, that's what's up." Quagmire yelled out.

"Oh come on I can't be expected to get everything right." Peter retorted.

"Well Peter we just think you should be more responsible for your kids." Cleveland barked out in a disapproving voice.

Joe then rolled up to Peter.

"Um listen Peter I still haven't found anything new yet." Joe explained. "But we'll find out where they are."

"Well I just hope you do find him." Peter said in a disappointed voice.

"Yeah well you'll be no help you big idiot." Quagmire shouted out.

"Yeah get out of here." Cleveland growled in anger.

Peter began to back away slowly as everyone booed at him, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe then grabbed Peter and shoved him out of the door, Quagmire then briefly popped his head out.

"Oh and Peter if Lois ever decides to leave you I'll be waiting Giggidy Giggidy Giggidy goo." Quagmire commented as he quickly slammed the door shut.

Peter then got into his car and began driving.

"Well that's just great." Peter remarked. "Now everyone hates me for letting Stewie get taken."

Peter then drove by the Mall.

"This is all your fault you and your awsome Pac-Man machine." Peter yelled at it.

Stewie was still sat in the room thinking of ways he could kill that crazy psychopath.

"I'm starting to get really sick of her and her bi polar disorder." Stewie muttered under his breath.

He had come to the conclusion that Helen suffered from bi polar disorder due to her constintly being nice one moment and then turning completley crazy the next.

"I swear she's worse than the Mayor Of Halloween Town." The young infant said to himself.

Cutaway

The Mayor Of Halloween Town was talking to Jack Skelington.

"So I think it would be a great idea if we let zombies into the town." The Mayor said while wearing his happy face.

"I don't know if that's a good idea they might eat everyone." Jack commented.

The mayor's head spun around to show his sad face.

"God damnit Jack why do you always have to take everything so seriously." He yelled out in anger.

Jack then stepped back nervously.

"Ok, ok I'll let you go through with this plan." Jack said.

The mayor's head spun back to his happy face.

I "Good boy Jack. He cheered."

"Even though I'm the Pumpkin King. Jack mumbled."

End Cutaway

The young infant then noticed a Tennis ball lying on the floor. He picked it up.

"I'm Suprised that woman plays Tennis she probably doesn't have the temper for it or the strength." Stewie said to himself.

Stewie laughed at his little joke. Stewie then thought so hard that he curled up on the floor and fell asleep.

Dave was currently in the kitchen doing some cleaning while Helen was sat on the couch eating Orios.

"Hay Helen don't you think you're being harsh towards Stewie?" Dave asked.

Helen glared at her husband.

I'm not being harsh." Helen said. "He was being naughty so I'm teaching him a leason

"You have no right to do that Helen." Dave snapped. You're not even his real mummy."

Helen then launched herself at Dave and bit him in the arm, She then gave him a black eye and a bloody nose.

"Don't you ever feed me those dirty lies Dave I know the truth and that is that Stewie is my son." Helen shouted in frustration

"Helen please try and understand what your doing is hurting people and illegal."

Helen then suddenly began to sob genuine tears of sadness she then hugged Dave.

"I'm sorry Dave." The crazed woman cried in a genuinely hurt voice. "I just couldn't help it do you forgive me."

"Yeah I forgive you." Dave stated as he kissed his wife. "Now do you realise that Stewie's not your son."

The crazed woman instantly punched Dave in the stomach.

"Ow jeez what was that for." Dave groaned.

"For feeding me those dirty lies." The crazed woman answered.

Dave then walked through to the spare room and opened the closet door, the dim witted man then jumped back in fright when he saw Stewie fast asleep on the floor.

"Stewie what are you doing there?" Dave questioned before picking the infant up.

The man then put Stewie in the cot he was sleeping in before walking through to the living room.

"Hay Helen I found Stewie sleeping in the Closet."

"Of course." Helen answered in a matter of fact voice. "He was being a naughty boy so I was putting him in a time out, I'll just put him back in for another hour."

After an hour Helen let Stewie out of the closet. She then gave him a bath read a bedtime story to him and put him into the cot.

"Good night sweetie mummy loves you." Helen whispered to Stewie as she kissed his cheek.

The young infant then looked up at Helen.

"You know Helen if it wasn't for the fact that you abducted me and had mental health problems among other things. I think you'd make a pretty great mummy."

Helen's eyes instantly lit up as she gave Stewie a big hug.

"Oh thank you very much Stewie that's so kind." Helen replied.

She then walked out the room crying tears of joy.

Stewie was left confused by his mixed emotions. On the one hand he hated Helen for kidnapping him and having a bad temper. But on the other hand he was greatfull that she cared for him right.

"Still she can't replace Lois." He thought to himself.

Later that night Dave woke up and silently crept out of his bedroom, he then snuck into the room Stewie was in and began to gently nudge the young infant.

"Pssst Stewie wake up." Dave whispered.

The young infant began to slowly stir and gently opened his eyes.

"Oh Fatman what do you want?" Stewie mumbled as he fully woke up.

"I'm not the Fatman Stewie." Dave replied in a hushed voice. "But I'm going to help you get out of here and take you back to Peter and Lois, but we have to be quiet so we don't wake up the sleeping giant."

Dave then lifted Stewie up and began to creep quietly across the hall, he then grabbed his car keys and was about to unlock the front door when suddenly a burglar alarm went off.

"Oh crap." Dave exclaimed in a horrified voice.

"Is the fact we set the alarm off a bad thing?" Stewie asked.

"Yes it's bad, very bad." Dave answered while gulping.

"Well shut the damn thing off quickly before it wakes Helen up." The infant demanded in an irritated voice.

"There's just one problem." Dave stated in an overly nervous voice.

"Oh and what's that?" Stewie wondered.

"I forgot the code." Dave replied with a sheepish grin.

"WHAT" Stewie yelled out in horror, as the sound of heavy feet hitting the floor reached his ears.

"Dave where are you you fool." Helen yelled out. "Someone's broken in."

"Hurry Point Dexter." The infant said in a voice quivering with fear.

The pair then heard the sound of a shotgun being cocked and Dave turned around just as Helen rounded the corner wielding a Shotgun.

"Dave what the blazes do you think you're doing?" Helen asked in an irritated voice.

"Oh nothing." Dave replied. "Just accidentally set the alarm off."

"Turn around Dave now." Helen demanded in a threatning voice.

The bumbling man then turned around to show Stewie.

"Put him down Dave right now." Helen growled.