Ruby's yell cut off sharply as she slammed against the warehouse floor. Her head spun in breathless shock, but there wasn't time. She rolled as she gasped for air, kicking out and hitting the demon's knee. He snarled as he fell, and again as she grabbed his leg. He kicked at her, but Ruby just twisted with the blow. Pain wasn't as important as the knife just eight feet away. If her demon or Sam's got ahold of that, it would make things a great deal more complicated. The companion demon was putting up just as much of a fight on the other side of the warehouse, fighting too close for him to get his hands out and free. He was unable to work his mojo without the gesture just yet; it was crucial to his focus, and somehow the word had gotten out on the grapevine of what he was able to do. He caught the demon at the wrists, twisting inward to get his arm behind his back, but it had anticipated this and pulled a surprisingly acrobatic move, using him as a balance board and flipping backward, the demon's feet on his chest kicking him back an extra foot. While this was effective to dislodge his grip on it, it seemed to realize two seconds too late that it had left an opening. Sam brought his arm up swiftly fingers curled outward as he telepathically reached into the vessel's body and "pulled".

"Cade!" it gurgled, hands moving to its throat as it started violently coughing, the black smoke pouring out of its mouth slowly at first like a serpent.

Ruby had been too focused on his legs. At the yell, a hand had her at the back of the head, slamming her face first into the concrete. Her ears rung and her vision blurred, and demons legs were gone.

"Stop!" the demon roared. There was a sharp, heavy pressure on Ruby's back and her hair was yanked back, blood running from her nose and over her mouth. She tried to struggle and felt the sharp bite of the knife against her neck. "Stop or the bitch is gone!"

Sam's focus shifted, and the demon who had fallen to its knees in the process of the exorcism hastily put distance between them, not yet fleeing as its eyes moved as well to its companion's. Sam's face contorted.

"Let her go. Now," Sam growled out, his voice low and threatening.

The demon glanced at his companion before focusing back on Sam. "Get on the ground," he ordered, tightening his grip on Ruby's hair.

"I don't think so," Sam said roughly, turning his hand on the other demon immediately but not yet focusing on the exorcism. "This isn't negotiable. Let. Her. Go."

"You can't get us both, not at the same time," the demon snarled, nodding for his companion to move around Sam.

Ruby's head was clearing, not that it did her any good. The way the demon had her, any attempt to escape would end quite quickly. Her focus instead was on the demon circling. "Sa-" she started, but the knife bit deeper, cutting her off.

Sam caught eyes with her, agony written in his face. He had to prove that he would stop them. At any cost. It was right; he couldn't stop them both, not with his powers.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus-"

Ruby spasmed with pain, but she had been expecting it. The demon on top of her had not. As he let out a snarl, she grabbed his hand, slamming it against the floor. The knife skittered a couple feet away, which didn't do much good with white searing pain behind her eyes. But then it stopped. She swung her arm round in a hammer punch, getting the demon in the neck. He fell and she rolled, grabbing up the knife. In the time that he'd stopped, Sam quickly whipped around, grabbing the other demon by the throat and knocking it hard against the wall, pressing hard enough against his windpipe to silence it. It struggled, hands coming up to grip at his, but Sam simply closed his eyes and tried again, using the proximity as fuel and inwardly chanting the Latin to help focus his concentration.

Scrambling to her feet, Ruby saw that her demon had decided to get out while he could. He was to his feet before she was, sprinting around a stack of crates. But as she'd told Sam, her body wasn't too far from ideal. She bolted after him, knife gripped tightly, and the demon was soon in sight.

Sam let up on his demon's windpipe, the smoke pouring out of it much faster now than previously, and slowly brought him to the ground as he felt the last of it leave. The body crumbled to the floor the moment Sam released him, motionless. There would be time to check him later; Sam immediately turned, catching sight of Ruby in pursuit of the remaining one. He quickly sprinted after them both, already knowing that the other demon was willing to fight dirty while, to his knowledge, he'd yet to see Ruby tap into her demon powers.

The demon was quick, but Ruby was catching up, and he knew it. He darted down another row of crates, and Ruby followed soon after. It was as far as she got. An invisible hand caught her in the chest, slamming her against the crate row. She managed to keep hold of the knife, but she could hardly breathe, much less move.

"Traitorous bitch," the demon snarled, his hand out, psychically holding her. "Azazel would have ripped your head from your shoulders if he'd known what you'd become."

His lips pulled back in a feral grin and he took a step toward her, but then stopped in his tracks. His eyes bugged out, moving both hands to his face - one to cover his mouth, the other to his throat - and letting Ruby tumble roughly to the floor in the process. The movements were futile; puffs of black smoke poured between his fingers, a stream pouring through his nose as well, and soon he fell to his knees with the overwhelming urge. Sam stood a few feet away, face flushed and panting, his nose breaking in a bleed, but his eyes were dark with barely-restrained fury. Ruby stayed on the ground, exhausted and aching, but she watched Sam's work with not a little gratification. As the smoke drained away around the body, Ruby pushed herself to her feet, wiping her mouth with the back of her sleeve. She walked slowly to Sam, a little worried at his nose bleed.

"You okay?" she said hoarsely.

"Yeah," he breathed out, one hand coming up to swipe under his nose. A blood vessel in his eye had also blown. "You?"

She gingerly touched her neck, the cut stinging slightly. "Could use a bandage, but yeah," she said, reaching up to tilt his face to the side. "Can you see through your eye alright?"

"Yeah," he said again, though her bringing attention to it only seemed to make it hurt twice more than it had been. "Just hurts like a bitch." And without another word, he forcefully took her mouth in a kiss, his hands at either side of her face.

The move caused her eyes to widen, not least of all because his nose bumped hers slightly, causing a blossom of pain. But his mouth was comforting, a reassurance that he had her. Her eyes fell closed, her lips eager against his and her arms sliding around his waist. After a moment he pulled back, his breathing shallow.

"I thought I almost lost you," he said in a worried tone, kissing her again briefly, his hands moving down to cup her face in an effort not to hurt her.

She rubbed his back reassuringly. "You did good," she said, smiling slightly. "Exactly the right thing at the right time. Very unlike you."

That brought a small snort. "Gee, thanks. Glad to know I'm highly regarded." He sobered, frowning. "I'll go check the one in the back. I think I might've crushed his windpipe a little."

She raised an eyebrow slightly but nodded, deciding against saying that these two had seemed the the type to ride their bodies to death almost immediately. "Go. I'll check on our friend here."

He caught the look, aware of the unspoken statement, but letting go of her regardless and jogging back the way he'd come. Ruby watched him go before walking to the collapsed figure of whatever poor person the demon had been possessing. She'd been right; the man hadn't survived. She stood, wiping her hands on her jeans. Standing where she was, she couldn't help but remember the way Sam looked, the anger in his eyes hot enough to burn. Anger on her behalf. It was worrying. He'd been smart this time, trusting her to pick up where he couldn't go. But there might be a time when the decision wasn't so easy. He'd know the right decision, but the anger made her uncertain if he'd make it.

She made her way slowly back to where the other body would be, but even before she turned the corner he was there, head bowed low and frowning. They would have to get rid of the bodies, something he wasn't exactly looking forward to. The headache was starting to come with reinforcements now that the adrenaline was gone.

"I'm gonna go get the spade axe and the salt from the car," he said by way of explanation.

She touched his arm lightly, frowning in sympathy, before heading back to collect the body. Sam always took this kind of outcome extremely hard. It was going to be a long night. By the time she'd brought the other body out to the main area where the first laid, Sam had returned with both items, putting the sack of salt on the ground as he started busting apart crates. He worked in silence, and there was nothing but the rhythmic sound of axe against wood, over and over again. It took twenty minutes to get a decent enough pile, which he stacked around the outsides of the bodies. It was done with a sort of reverence, the only way he knew to properly pay respect to the lost soul, all the while done with words mumbled beneath his breath. When he was satisfied with the amount of wood he went back for the sack of salt, swinging it in wide arcs so that it spread evenly over the bodies. Ruby watched in silence as he found a book of matches in his coat and his zippo, pressing her overshirt to her neck until it stopped bleeding. This was Sam's area, his way of finding absolution. As the bodies went up, she stood next to him, support if he needed it. This time he didn't touch her, eyes focused on the wood, making sure that it caught properly and that it spread. When the air started smelling of charcoal and burnt meat he swallowed and nodded, touching her shoulder lightly as he turned to leave. When they had the building in the rearview mirror, he'd call the fire department to tip them off.

When they reached the hotel room, Ruby made Sam lie down before she went to the bathroom to wash up. She'd gotten a couple of odd looks from other drivers on their way, and now she knew why. The dried blood made everything look worse than it felt, though she was ginger with the washcloth. When she came out, she sat next to him on the bed, her hand going to gently work at his scalp. He hummed appreciatively at the gesture, turning his head toward her hand while his eyes remained closed.

"Thanks."

She smiled slightly. "Thank you for saving my ass," she said, adding her second hand to cover more of his scalp in small circles. Even at her words, the little smile that was pulling his face disappeared.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I didn't know what to do."

She brushed the hair from his forehead even as her hands kept working. "You did what you needed to do. I can take a little pain. Or a lot of pain." She frowned slightly. "Or worse, if it comes to that."

Sam sighed at that, looking up at her silently. His brow furrowed in conflict. "If you're sent below again, I'll never-"

"I know," she said, trying to smooth out his brow. "Don't do it if you don't have to, but if you have to... Well, I'd prefer the knife, but do what you have to."

"I couldn't," he said on top of her last words, shaking his head. "I couldn't stick you. And I-" His brows furrowed again as he went suddenly silent.

His sudden silence perplexed her, but she powered on. "I'll stick me, if it comes to that. I'm not saying I want it to, but it might. I'm ready for it. You should be, too."

He was hardly listening to her at that point, turning his arm over to look on the inside of his right forearm. There it was, gnarly and white with age, but still there. If he had any desire for self-injury right then, he would have smacked his own forehead.

"You know what this is?" he asked her suddenly, turning his arm up for her to see. It was broken due to Bobby searing him with the poker, but it was still very visible regardless.

She frowned slightly, staring at his arm, and then it clicked. "A binding link," she said, giving a soft laugh.

"Deumos's doing," he said, half-smiling. "Never thought I'd say this, but the bitch had a good idea."

She gave a snort, then decided to never, ever do that again 'cause holy shit, it was painful. "Probably wasn't hers," she said, though wincing. Oh the price you paid for comedy. "But it is a good idea. Haven't heard of anyone trying it on an empty body, but then most don't go for the empty model, so worth a try."

"From what Dean told me, she booked it the moment it was broken. I'm hoping it doesn't automatically expel you, because if it does, that's not what I wanna accomplish here. You see what I'm saying though, right?" he asked, reaching up to gently touch the still-healing wound on her neck with his fingertips.

While his touch was gentle, her neck was still tender, and her jaw tightened at the sting. She raised an eyebrow at him, though. "That neither of us really want to see me out of this body? I'm with you there."

He withdrew his touch at the wince, moving instead to find her unoccupied hand and cover it with his. "What do we need to do?"

She smiled at his use of 'we.' "Well, most you can do is get me a fire and poker. Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure it takes more than that, but I don't know it. My demon-related spells tend more towards destruction than preservation."

"Time to hit the stacks again?" he asked with slightly-raised brows, bemused.

"If you can find a spell like that in any book ever printed, then I think the human race should be given up as a lost cause," she said dryly. "That kind of thing isn't even well known among demons. Kind of an old-boys' club secret."

"Well, it's not like we aren't running with the right crowds these days. Nothing wrong with a little interrogation during practice," he said with a wry twist to his mouth.

She had to smile at that. Oh Sam, sadistic in his hope. "Couldn't hurt," she agreed, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. Quiet pleasure moved through him in a way that felt a bit like goosebumps rising on his arms, wonderful and warm when it settled in his chest. The hand on hers moved up to touch her cheek, sliding through her hair and then down her shoulder and arm before he pulled back lightly.

"Think I'll ever be good enough to do more than two?" he asked quietly, still troubled by how the day had gone.

She was quiet in thought a moment, her fingertips trailing down his jawline. "Maybe. You're in new territory, Sam. It's hard to judge how far you'll go."

"There's gotta be more than just this, though," he said slowly, trying to focus while her touch did a number on his nerve-endings. "I mean, what to learn. Pulling demons is just step one, right? The others, they..." But he let himself fade off, not wanting to think about the other men and women that Azazel had put in that camp for a death match. He could still remember Max's face, and Andy's brother, and Ava. And then Jake, the one who was supposed to be the leader now, dead from his own gun. The memories went through him like a sieve, sucking all the warmth out of him.

She frowned slightly, her hand cupping his cheek. "And where exactly do you think those steps lead, Sam?" He met her gaze, his jaw tightening and releasing as he looked back and forth between her eyes. She cared about his soul. It was touching, if a little strange.

"Just because she can't zap me with her freaky flash beams doesn't mean she can't kill me another way. You said it yourself that we should be prepared." He gave a humorless laugh. "I'm sure I'm nowhere ready, but I still want to know. No point learning just one magic trick."

She looked at him, not more focused but in a way she hadn't in a while, a deep thoughtful stare that tried to look beyond the part of him that was Sam. "You're right," she said after a while. "You're not ready. Stop the nosebleeds and the headaches. Then we'll talk."

Sam nodded at that, recognizing the look. This was the mentor look, clear and obvious. It was unfortunate that what she said was right, but he'd known. It would be a long, long time before he was ready.

"I think I'm done being broody for the night," he said, hoping to get a smile from her.

It did. "Good. Any longer and I was going to have to hit you," she said, her hand going back to massaging his scalp. "And I wouldn't have gone easy on you." That brought a small, breathless laugh from him as he leaned up to kiss her, his arm snaking around her waist to pull her down lower so he didn't have to crane so much. She snuggled down against him, content in the warmth of his mouth and body. Sure life with him was sometimes panicked and painful and full of troubling silence, but moments like this easily made it all worth it.

It was still two hours before they were in Minnesota, even with him pushing the Impala as fast as he could down the lesser known highway. There was a sense of urgency to get to this demon before he got too far away, partly because he was one of the Secret Club Demons that Ruby had mentioned a week prior. They'd gotten word of him through "the whisper", as she'd called it. He still didn't understand how she was able to tap into whatever collective knowledge the other demons could after being put on their Most Wanted list, but at times like these he was secretly grateful. He wanted to find the bastard, get the information they needed, and let it go. And it wasn't going to be easy. The last time they'd cornered a demon for information, he'd rubbed salt into the still-healing wound that Dean had left in his chest. While it'd been three weeks since that - honestly, it felt so much longer - he wasn't sure he could take that kind of crap again.

His eyes glanced over at Ruby, not asleep but leaning against the window, bouncing out the drumbeat of the song on the iPod with her knee, her face neutral. They hadn't spoken since the burger joint four exits back where they'd gotten lunch, and it was times like these that he wished he could read her mind.

Ruby was wondering if she shouldn't have kept her mouth shut on this one. The bind was a good idea, there was no denying that. But she wasn't sure if Sam was ready for someone this much further up the hierarchy. This guy wasn't at Lilith's level, but he had power and age on his side, at least from what little Ruby knew. She mulled the words over and over in her head, changing her mind and the order and her approach. It was hard to know which method could best convince Sam.

She didn't move, her eyes still focused outside. "I think I should go in alone."

"What?" he said immediately, looking over at her enough to take in her posture and face. It hadn't changed, and his eyes were immediately back on the road. "No. Hell no, we do this together or we don't do it at all. That's how it works."

"Then it might not work," she said, a firm edge to her voice. She looked at him, trying to keep her posture relaxed. "Sam, walking into a room with you is declaring war to any demon, and that's not always the best way to go. If we go in for a fight, I don't think we'll get the information, and we might not come out well."

"I'm not letting you go in there alone," he said fiercely, hardly letting her finish the sentence. "No way. If this one's anything like you said, it'll tear you apart."

"Some of us talk," she said on heels of his words. "We don't all destroy first and ask questions later. From what I've heard, Barbas is...is an academic. He's probably neutral and doesn't give a damn what Lilith is up to."

"Neutral?" he asked, incredulous. "There's-" but he bit his words off, knowing that they were on the edge of offensive, and he didn't want to say something like that to her. She was different, completely and utterly from them. She wasn't "them" at all, and a small part of him wanted to correct her every time she referred to the plural to include herself.

Ruby's eyes narrowed. "What?" she said, sensing it was smarter for him to keep quiet. It only made her want to press harder. "What do you want to say, Sam?"

"Look, I just don't want-" he started again, shaking his head and stopping that line of talk as well. "Self-serving. Neutral just means self-serving. And I'm pretty sure that if you've got any sort of bounty on you that he'll want it, and I'm sorry but fuck that."

She fell silent, scowling out the window. He had a point, but in her mind they had only two choices. "Then we can forget interrogations, and the bind," she said. "At least for now."

Sam frowned immediately. It'd taken a week to find him, and he considered it a freak moment of luck that it'd happened this soon after he'd brought up the idea. They might not get another chance this early. He made a frustrated noise, striking the edge of the wheel with his hand as hard as he could without sending them skidding across the divider.

"You go in there alone, then we need to set up a trap so you're safe," he said in a low, annoyed voice. "I'm not letting him hurt you. The whole point of this was to find a way so that if I needed to, I could fall back on the old fashioned method. If it's counterproductive, fine, we'll go in and I'll just use him as practice, like we've been doing; break his link, if he has one, and suck him out. Or hell, maybe even see if I can do it with the link-" but I doubt it, he added inwardly, "-or something. Whatever. I just-"

She waved off whatever he was going to say. "We don't even know what the situation is. Let's get there, see the set-up, then we can make a plan. I don't want to scare him off, and I really don't want to piss him off. No going in guns blazing."

"I don't like this," he muttered angrily, depressing the gas pedal.

She gave a snort. "Yeah, I kind of got that."

He bit his tongue to keep from snapping at her, going silent as he pushed the Impala as hard as he could get away with. The next two hours passed tensely, and Ruby didn't feel any real relief as they pulled off highway 52 and into Zumbrota. It looked like a pleasant enough place, small. Nothing screaming of suffering yet. Which was a good thing, of course, but might make finding the demon a little more difficult.

The first thing Sam drove toward was the nearest hotel, which was something locally-owned, not that there appeared to be a touch of the New World in this town. The building reminded him vaguely of an old bed and breakfast in Connecticut, which immediately gave him a sense of foreboding, but he shook it off and went to park.

"I'll go pay for the room," he said quietly, leaving the keys in the ignition and heading toward the building.

Ruby watched him go into the house, frowning slightly. This wasn't how she wanted to go into a hunt, with friction and uncertainty. It would be better if they knew more, if she knew more. And it would be easier to find things out if he wasn't carefully watching out for her. She opened the glove compartment, pulling out a pen and pad of paper. He wouldn't like it, but he'd have to get over it.

It didn't take long to find someone to check them in, but they didn't take credit cards. With a frown he pulled out the last $100 in his pocket for the cheapest room, frustrated that he hadn't taken that into consideration when he pulled into the parking space. But when he got back to the Impala she was gone. To say he hadn't expected it would've been a lie, but he'd hoped otherwise. He found her note - Summon if you need me. ~R - and pocketed it, tugging the duffel with their clothes out of the back seat and slinging it over his shoulder as he made his way up the steps once more.

It was getting late but the sun was still out, and the woman still hadn't left the park. Ruby sprawled back on the bench, staring up at the sky in irritation. The town was small, and she'd canvassed it a couple times before finding anyone who seemed remotely touched by demon influence. Even then it was light, and she still wasn't sure. She'd been following the woman for hours now, and she'd done nothing but act like your run-of-the-mill soccer mom.

Should have stayed with Sam. The thought crossed her mind for not the first time that day. He would have looked through papers. He'd have found patterns. All I got is a demonic inkling.

"Terry! Grab your ball, we're going!"

Ruby looked up. Finally. She watched the woman usher her family into a van. They shouldn't be too hard to follow. Maybe Mom only goes nasty after dark. It seemed a horrible thing to hope for.

She tracked them easily enough, oblivious to the stitch in her hosts' side at the running to keep up. Stop signs and stoplights helped, and fortunately they didn't live on the outskirts of town. It was the typical American Dreamhouse; white picket fence, two stories, fresh-cut green grass. Almost enough to make her a little sick. Mom ushered the kids into the house and locked the door. She was just about to approach the house when another car pulled up in the driveway, and a middle-aged man in a casual business suit stepped out, stopping long enough to pull out his briefcase. All the hairs rose on the back of her neck and almost on cue, rather than walk up to the front door and walk through it, the man turned and walked toward her hiding spot near the postal dropbox on the corner. Calmly and collectively.

"You're getting a bit sloppy, sweetheart," he said once they were within earshot, a pleasant smile on his face. "Has nobody taught you how to sneak up on someone properly?"

Ruby froze for a couple eternal seconds, her heart pounding. But there was no turning back now. Running would only invite chasing, and she wasn't going to risk it. She stepped out into the open, her voice steeled with calmness. "Wasn't trying to sneak. Just observe. Are you Barbas?"

His smile widened a little, one hand smoothing down the front of his jacket. "You've heard of me! I'm surprised you knew where to look. You must be Ruby."

The fact that he knew her name sent a chill down her spine. She was used to being among the faceless hoard of lost souls. This was just unnerving. "I am. And I still have connections that count," she added. "Not everyone has given up on the Winchester boy."

Barbas gave a soft laugh, shaking his head. "I care very little about Azazel's pawns." He took a deep breath through his nose, then let it out again. "I remember Jezebeth, though. Sad that you had to put her down. She did good work. You smell like her."

Ruby stiffened but didn't comment. "I found you because I need information," she said, cutting to the chase. "Deumos used a binding link when she possessed Winchester, so it can't be too difficult. I don't know how it is done, however. You seem to value knowledge above everything else; you must know how to make the link."

That statement brought a nod, and his smile lengthened again. "Let me guess. You want to learn how?" A pause. "What's in it for me?"

That had been the part she was worrying about. "The price is negotiable. But first I have to know what's involved. I don't need to know how to do the link if I'm unwilling to do what needs to be done to create it," she said, quirking a slight smile.

"The body ages," he said immediately. "You'll keep it running, obviously. But you're stuck inside, good or bad. You won't be able to heal it if you break it, not like before."

Ruby was silent. It was a worrying idea, but also very appealing. To be human, nearly. But if she had to escape, without much warning... "I need time to consider it," she said slowly. "And perhaps you would like time to consider your payment?"

"Assuming you have anything I want," Barbas reminded her, brows raised slightly. "I've got it pretty good here right now. This one's in charge of a whole hospital. Plenty of bodies to work with. Not that yours isn't pretty, sweetheart."

She raised an eyebrow. "So you like it here. And I can make sure no hunters come along to screw things up," she said lightly. "Whether or not they can even touch you, they have a habit of messing things up, destroying a nice little situation we've built. I can make you, and the whole town, invisible to them."

Barbas's eyebrows rose, and he remained quiet for a long while before speaking again. "Take a few days to think about what you're walking into. If I wait any longer, my wife'll give me an earful about dinner going cold." He flashed a toothy grin. "Meatloaf. Personal favorite. You know how it is."

She smiled, though it didn't meet her eyes. "In a few days then." She waited for him to turn his back before she did, walking back down the road. It was getting dark now, and she decided she should go and face Sam now. Then hopefully she could get some sleep.

It was pushing seven o'clock, and Ruby still wasn't back. He'd been looking at his wrist watch every five minutes, chewing the inside of his cheek viciously, trying to tell himself that she was fully capable of defending herself. Hell, once upon a time she'd killed three personifications of deadly sins with little more than her infamous 'pig-sticker'; one high-grade demon wasn't going to take her out. And perhaps she was right, and all he'd want to do is talk. They were famous for their monologues, he knew that much. But as the minutes continued to tick by, he was losing his patience. He'd have to go get the supplies for the summoning from the car. Or maybe he could just find some neutral place to do it, rather than their room. When the minute hand finally hit twelve, he went for the door, heading outside for the Impala. His plans were thwarted, though, went he found her leaning against the passenger door.

Ruby looked up as he came towards her, smiling uncertainly. "Wasn't sure if it was dark enough to sneak into the place," she said, standing up fully.

"Damnit, Ruby," he said angrily, fists clenching up at his sides.

She raised an eyebrow slightly. "I missed you, too," she said dryly.

Wordlessly Sam turned around, going back the way he came, a deep scowl on his face. He didn't bother waiting to see if she would follow after him. That brought a pang to Ruby's chest, but she couldn't blame him. She followed in silence, going for the bathroom once they got to their room. It'd been a long time since he'd touched one of the guns sitting in the trunk of the Impala, and suddenly he was itching to be down there, to clean them or take a bunch of bottles and shoot them in a field somewhere. Anything to burn off the aggression that was raging in his chest at her having gone off again. Maybe the lines are blurring, he thought, agitation making him push his hands through his hair, over and over again. She's not my partner. She's here to pump me full of her skills, and help me find Lilith. She's not here for me. Except that she was, and he knew that. She'd all but said it. But then why does she keep going off like this? She doesn't trust me. She thinks I'll just screw it all up. And maybe she's right. Maybe I am just-

Ruby came out of the bathroom, her hands and face still damp, and watched him from the doorway. He wasn't bothering to hide his anger, but she knew him pacing around wouldn't do either of them much good. "Okay," she said, walking up to him. "I don't want you moping and scowling at me all week. Let me have it."

"I don't want to do this anymore," he said, shaking his head. "I shouldn't've brought up the link. I don't want to do this, if it means you running off and not even listening to me. And I don't," he stopped, still shaking his head. "I don't get how I'm supposed to be the apt, star pupil, but then you actually give a damn what I say, but then you don't because you still go off doing whatever the hell you want to do. Okay? Make up your damn mind what it is that I'm supposed to be, or do, or whatever the hell this is. Okay? Because I'm getting tired of this."

"I want you to know when you're out of your depth," she said, keeping her voice even. "I want you to survive. That means sometimes listening to me, and sometimes trusting me." Her jaw tightened slightly and she paused, taking a breath. "You knew when you left that car that I wouldn't be there when you got back. If that was supposed to be some kind of test, well, I failed, but I am always going to do what I know is best. Best for you."

That brought a humorless laugh, his jaw clenching. "Don't. Don't even do that."

Ruby just shook her head, heading over to sit on the bed. She decided to try a different tact. "This demon has the whole town fooled. The best hunters out there could come comb the streets and they wouldn't know anything was wrong. He'd even hid his tracks so well, I had trouble finding them. He has power and subtlety, and I'm sorry, Sam, but that's usually not your best suit. This was a demon matter, so I handled it like one. That's all there is to it."

"You just said that you couldn't sneak in," he said, some of the anger coming back again.

"I lied," she said, her eyes narrowing. "I'd only just got there, and I was trying to figure out what the hell to say to you."

"Don't lie to me," he spat angrily, standing if only to put space between them. "And what the hell, demon matter? He's in some guy, living it up, and that's suddenly okay again? So long as he's not hurting anyone?"

"I never said it was okay, but I did it for a year, so I'm not telling him to get out," she snapped. "But I also know where he lives, and where he works, and if you want to go set a trap or something, hell, you might catch him off guard. Be my guest."

Sam was quickly losing his temper, and it took a herculean effort not to haul out and punch the wall. He didn't want to lose the deposit. Instead he stood there, breathing hard, fists and jaw clenched, trying with great difficulty to calm down. Watching him, she knew she had to ease up. She hadn't even realized how tense she'd been getting. She consciously relaxed her muscles, her voice quiet when she spoke.

"Sam... Just forget the binding link. I'll risk it." She considered a moment before continuing. "If you want to go after Barbas, I'll help. I don't think we should go in dry; a trap, at least, in case things go wrong."

"Tomorrow," he said roughly. And without another word he turned, going into the bathroom and shutting the door. The lock audibly flipped, and a few moments later the shower was running.

Her stomach clenched but she just took off her pants, folding them on an armchair before sliding into bed. One bed. They'd be sharing. Normally this wasn't a bad thing. She lay on her side, as close to the edge as comfortably possible, her eyes on the wall. Over the past month, sleep had become something of a habit, but she knew she wouldn't find any tonight. There was too much on her mind, as well as the stark reminder that she didn't need it. Demon, remember? Don't need sleep or food or anything. And apparently I'm not willing to risk needing them. The decision had come out of her mouth without thinking, but she knew it would be the same in a few days. No binding link. She wasn't even sure what she found worth risking.

The sound of the shower continued on for an hour before it went silent, and there was another five minutes before Sam emerged, though she wasn't watching. He'd scrubbed his skin so hard that he was pink everywhere, and a little sore, but the shower had done what he'd hoped it would. The room was dark save for the moonlight coming through the window, hitting her hair and shoulders, and Sam frowned as he looked at her, his brow knotted. Everything was messed up. It wasn't supposed to be this way. The binding link was supposed to be a bit of knowledge in their favor, so that she was safe, so that they could keep doing what they were doing. If she had it done, she would have said it, and she hadn't. Which meant there was doubt. She'd gone alone, willing to sacrifice herself to keep him safe. It was what Dean would have done. What Dean did do, he reminded himself, feeling whatever anger was left in him stave off. Sam sighed, moving to the duffel to get the last clean pair of boxers - the rest of their clothing was being washed by the staff - and slid into them, moving over to the bed and sliding into it easily. He didn't move to the edge and, after staring at her a moment longer, finally moved to slip an arm around her and pull her closer to him. Ruby didn't pull away from him, but she didn't acknowledge him either. His arm was comforting but she wasn't ready for it to be all she needed to forget that whole day. Her eyes were closed, but not in an attempt to appear sleeping; it was just the easiest way to shut out the world and think.

Ruby reached out, ringing the doorbell. It was one of the most unnatural actions she'd ever done. She wasn't exactly a front door sort of girl.

Barbas opened the door almost before she'd pulled her finger away. He was smiling wide. "Hello, Ruby. Come in."

As he stepped aside for her, she tried to remember who was supposed to be the real spider in this instance.

"I figured you would have spent a few more days considering your options. Fortunately for you, Rebecca's taken the kids to the museum today. She'll be gone all afternoon. Would you like something to drink?"

"No thanks," she said, maybe a bit too quickly to be polite. The living room was exactly what the outside of the house promised; pleasant if bland, comfortable furniture, knickknacks and family photographs infiltrating every spare surface. Her eyes paused on a wedding photograph. "Does she even know her husband's not in there anymore?" she asked, quickly amending, "Just curious. I've always taken single bodies."

"She's unaware. I've managed to glean enough from the surface memories not to appear out of the ordinary," Barbas replied, leading her back to a den not too far away from the entrance of the house. Inside he helped himself to what appeared to be a decent label of brandy. "Did you come to share experiences as well? Or are you making small-talk?"

The blunt questions were at odds with his casual actions. It threw her a bit. "Small talk, I suppose." Guess there isn't much point. "I want to learn the bind."

"And your payment?" he asked immediately, taking a sip from the glass though his eyes never left her face.

"After you teach me," she said, keeping his gaze even as she folded her arms. "No offense, but you're the stronger demon. If I try to screw you over, you can take me down. You try to screw me over, I'm screwed."

That brought a small smile to Barbas's face, and he chuckled quietly before moving to sit down in one of the wing backed chairs. He gestured to the other one. Ruby took her time, seeing nothing obviously wrong with the chair before she sat. She kept her feet on the ground, relaxed but ready to move.

"Relax, sweetheart," he said, palms up on his knees. "This won't hurt a bit. Trust me."

That was a laugh. But she held out her hands, leaning forward slightly to place them in his. There was a feeling like an electric charge as he pressed his palms directly against hers. His eyes turned over, then faded out to black entirely.

"Just one more thing, though. I'll need permission to enter, which means a memory. A very specific memory, when you were the most afraid. And once you hand it over, it's mine. Nothing you'll miss, surely?" he said, tilting his head slightly to the side.

She swallowed, unable to look away from his empty eyes. The idea of him taking anything from her made her skin grow cold. He was right, though. She couldn't even think of what memory it would be; there were several millennia of terror to choose from. Slowly, she nodded. "You have my permission."

"I promise I won't be nosy," he replied, his smile becoming toothy. "Just don't try anything. I have no problem making your pretty meat-puppet bleed." His fingers laced with hers and suddenly his grip was ironclad, pain ripping up her arms like the bones were breaking. She hissed in a sharp breath, gritting her teeth so hard it felt like they would crack, but she made no noise, trying to keep her face composed. After a moment she could feel the direct presence in her mind, and an unexplainable pain in her chest. But just as quickly as the pain came it was gone, and imagery flashed through her eyes; Latin etched in the air like flickering gold, candles, blood, iron, fire, the bitter tang of wormwood, and the smell of opium and tallow. Then Barbas was pulling back, his eyes returning to a cool blue, hardly having broken a sweat. She, on the other hand, was gasping, dry heaving every other breath.

"They made you watch?" he said, as if they had been having a conversation. He looked almost sad for her. "It's disgusting, to see what these wretched creatures are capable of. A little fear, and they take some poor child's lover and crush him to death. It almost makes what Alistair does look like blocks."

The heaving had stopped but she shook and her head spun with the fading opium, so it was a moment before his words sunk in. She looked up at him, her brows knit in confusion. Her memories felt like a fog, but slowly she could see flashes, screaming accusations, an unmarked grave she couldn't touch, but the link between them was broken. She sat up, leaning back on the chair, still not entirely steady but trying to meet his eyes. She didn't last long, her gaze falling to the floor.

That brought an amused smile to the face Barbas was borrowing. "You have what you need, then. I expect you to follow up on the end of your bargain."

She nodded, scrounging up a last bit of resolve to pull herself together. She stood. "Is it alright if I do the spell here?" she said, her voice a little hoarse. "It'll probably hide you best if it's from your...home, I suppose. I'll have to draw on the floor, but the rug should cover it pretty well."

Barbas's brows rose. "I don't have supplies at hand. Children in the house, you know."

"I didn't come unprepared," she said, walking over and pulling the curtains over one window, then the other. "Need to close out the world. Atmosphere is everything," she explained. "If we shift the chairs and rug aside, that should be enough room for my purposes."

The other demon's eyes narrowed, but after a moment he nodded. "Very well." With a flick of his hand in either direction, the chairs separated and moved to either wall, and the rug flew backward a few feet. Ruby flinched slightly but promptly pulled out a piece of chalk, kneeling to draw a wide circle around herself. Her heart was pounding, and she hoped Sam got there soon, before Barbas realized she was doing a modified searching spell.

She'd just started the chain of connecting circles when the sound of the door being kicked open echoed through the room. Any calmness that Barbas had been outwardly portraying was gone, his eyes immediately black and a snarl on his face.

"YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE?" he boomed, hands extending. The doors to the den slammed shut, and the desk on the far wall flew against it to barricade them both in.

It was like ice down her back, and Ruby's hands worked almost on their own, smudging out the small circles as she drew four eyes. Shit, no time. Her hand went to her belt, grabbing the dagger's handle.

Barbas turned his hand immediately toward her, but he hardly had enough time to reach before a shotgun round exploded in the door and straight through his hand.

"RUBY!" Sam shouted, firing off another round. Barbas jumped outside of the blast just in time as a third shot rang out, and Sam burst through the space the shots provided. She hadn't looked up after the first shot, her hand drawing automatically, memories of centuries ago. She crossed the last line, even as Sam came through the door. She was safe...and he was out there with the demon. Her eyes snapped to his.

"Sam, get out!"

Barbas was on him by the time the words left her mouth, grabbing him by the throat and lifting him straight off the ground.

"Sam Winchester. My, my. You're taller in person," Barbas said with an eerie calmness. His other hand bled freely at his side, blood pooling on the floor at his feet. "Lilith will be pleased."

She didn't even think. Sam was there, in trouble, there wasn't time. Pulling out the dagger, she moved forward, not even realizing it when she passed the circle's barrier - the barrier that was supposed to stop demons in their tracks, in or out.

"Not so fast there, sweetheart," Barbas said, turning his head to look at Ruby over his shoulder. "Before you even got a good throw, I'd snap his neck like a twig. Lilith would give me a right scolding, but hey! It's not like I can't reanimate a body."

Ruby froze.

"Did you both think I was so stupid?" Barbas continued on, his grip tightening on Sam's neck. He gurgled, clawing at the man's arm, which only made Barbas laugh. "I knew she'd bring you around, once she thought I let my guard down. Ruby alone is worth nothing, but together. That's a nice little package, don't you think?"

Looking between him and Sam, Ruby's grip tightened on the blade. "Put him down and I'll put the knife down," she said, hoping it sounded like she had any room to bargain.

Barbas looked at her, then at the circle around her feet, and smiled. Then he started to laugh. Sam suddenly took a sharp inhale, violently coughing and unable to get a word out before he flew backward against the remains of the door.

"You forgot your hair and blood, sweetheart," Barbas said dangerously. And then Ruby felt herself lifting and thrown back against the wall as well. The air slammed out of her lungs, her head spinning a moment before her eyes focused on Sam again. The fury and terror rose in her, but she couldn't even draw enough breath to scream at Barbas to let him go.

"Stop!" Sam shouted. "You want me, you can have me! Just let her go!"

Barbas only chuckled on. "Tempting offer. She really is so useless to me. But still... so curious." He lowered his hands, but the hold remained. He strolled over to where Ruby was against the wall, the knife still tight in her hand, and eyed it curiously. He smirked. "Interesting piece you have there. Too bad it won't work on me the way you'd like," he said, bringing up his forearm. The binding link was there, white and knotted with age. "But you damaged the house. And my hand. And now I'll have to hurt you." The last was said with a tone of obligation, and Barbas sighed. His uninjured hand came up to caress Ruby's cheek lightly. "But not the way you'd want, oh no. First I'm going to make your savior squeal."

The shallow breaths she could take came sharp and fast, her whole body straining, her face twisted in a desperate grimace. She focused on the burning anger in her, knowing she couldn't show weakness, wanting to keep him away from Sam. "Fuck you, you fucking coward," she snarled breathlessly.

"When I'm done, perhaps," he said, grabbing her face fiercely with his hand. His lips parted to speak once more, but in an instant his face twisted into a grimace and a wisp of black smoke unfurled from his mouth. Simultaneously both Ruby and Sam fell to the floor, but Sam had been prepared for the fall. His concentration didn't break once.

Ruby's knees sagged when she hit the ground, but she leaned on the wall for support. For a moment, she could only stare in shock. Then she swung, her knife-holding fist cracking against the demon's jaw. Barbas's head flipped back like a rag doll, the smoke coming out in a steady stream now as he collapsed to the floor. Sam followed him with both his hand and eyes, fury and pain warring on his face. Everything moved in slow-motion, but the bleed came with full force, his face growing red as though he was holding his breath. Gulping in air, Ruby looked up at Sam, panic rising in her full force as she saw his face, the blood, the pain in his eyes.

"Sam. Sam, stop!"

He didn't even look at her, his face growing purple as the last of the smoke poured from Barbas's limp mouth. Ruby dropped the knife, rushing over and catching Sam just as he slumped forward. Her knees sagged under his weight but she managed to gently set him down on his side. Blood still poured from his nose and he wasn't moving. Her eyes were focused and she pressed her fingers to his already bruising throat. The pulse was rapid and fluttering, but there. She shifted him so he leaned against the desk, trying to keep his airway free of blood. Then she went for the kitchen. She grabbed a bag of frozen peas from the freezer and cloth towels from the oven handle, crawling back through the door less than two minutes after leaving. She put a cloth over his eyes and top of his nose before resting the peas on top, gingerly cleaning him up with another cloth. They couldn't stay long, she knew. Aside from the possibility that Barbas already had Lilith on her way here, his wife and kids couldn't be gone much longer. Whether or not Sam was awake, they had to leave now.

Sam woke hours later to darkness and something ice cold on his face, but he didn't move. His whole head felt as though it were expanding and contracting, the pain so fierce that he felt like he was dying. He didn't move, too afraid that in the lost time he'd ended up in a worse situation than he'd been in. Then whatever he was laying on shuddered and lurched up.

Ruby hardly noticed the bump. She sped along, headed south, headed away, twenty over the speed limit. The sun stretched out to her right, almost sinking behind the tops of the trees on either side of the highway. Her face was stretched and dry looking though her eyes were red, and she kept glancing in the rearview mirror, tilted down to focus on the figure lying on the back seat.

It took a few moments before Sam realized they were in the car, and relief was immediate.

"Stupid question, but are we okay?" he asked quietly, the sound of his voice in his ears adding a whole new layer of pain.

It felt like all of Ruby's insides flipped upside down, her eyes darting to the mirror. He hadn't moved, but she knew she hadn't imagined it. For a moment she couldn't speak, nodding and staring out the windshield. "Yes," she finally managed, turning to look back at him.

"Good," he mumbled, wanting quite literally to crawl inside the ice cold whatever that was on his face and live there for the rest of his life, if it meant making the pain stop. "Are you okay?"

She swallowed, facing forward again. "Fine." One hand scrambled for the glove compartment, pulling out a bottle of aspirin and holding it back for him. She kept her voice quiet, knowing how it was after his bleeds. "There should be a water bottle on the floor back there."

He heard the rattle of the bottle and reached blindly for it, tucking it into his palm before also reaching for the bottle. It proved a lot easier than he thought it would, though it meant having to sit up a little or risk pouring half the bottle down his front or up his nose. He cringed as the pain swam in his head. There was really no use for questions, and the expand-contract of his head made it difficult to think. She'd made sure they were safe. She'd carried him out of the house, again. Barbas was gone, and somewhere he made a note to feel victorious about that later.

"I didn't think to pick the lock. I'm sorry," he said in a low voice.

She almost wanted to laugh. Of all the things that had gone wrong, of all the things they should have done differently, of all the things she wanted to yell at him for, that was the first to come to mind? She was supposed to be teaching him; she should yell at him now, let the pain carve it into his brain, but she couldn't. "It wouldn't have made much difference," she said, almost under her breath. Sam felt the tension there, and for once used his better judgment in the matter and didn't press. No doubt she'd been angry, and scared, and it was his doing for wanting the information so much, and for going for a demon like Barbas with maybe a half-dozen demons under his belt. The words she didn't say weighed just as heavily on his chest as if she had said them. Without worrying about where they were going, he settled back against the seat again, reaching up weakly with his arm to brush his fingertips across her shoulder.

The touch both weakened and angered her. "Don't ever do that again," she said quietly, flatly. "Don't push yourself until you pass out. You could've..." She swallowed.

"Better from an aneurysm than his creativity," he said without pause. "He would've killed us both."

She knew it, but that didn't make it better. "There had to be another way," she said, trying to keep her voice quiet. "You got Deumos out of you."

"Nah, that was Bobby," he said in a similar tone. "And I don't even think it was planned."

She just shook her head. "You weren't thinking. We had time. You just... You could have planned." Her throat felt like it was swelling, her hands shaking slightly on the wheel.

"You're right," Sam said immediately, without remorse. "Pull over a sec."

She did it without a word, but the car took a while to slow. She figured he had to vomit. When they finally came to a stop Sam forced himself up to sitting, ignoring the pulse of his head as he removed the ice pack, leaned over the backseat, turned her face toward his and kissed her soundly on the mouth. Her eyes widened and then closed tight, her breath hitching painfully in her chest. You could have died, and then what would I have done? What would I have been? But she took her hands off the wheel, grasping the sides of his face, not wanting to let go. Her sudden fierceness both surprised him and hurt, and he bit back the urge to groan from the pain. He deepened the kiss without much difficulty, tasting the cut of salt in her mouth and knowing immediately that she'd been crying. That knowledge brought a desperate edge of his own to the kiss, his hands crossing over hers to hold her face as well. Her kiss quieted slowly, the touch of her hands softening, her thumb running lightly over his cheek. Sam at last pulled back, his nose brushing against hers, forcing himself to breath in slowly and then let it out before he opened his eyes to look at her.

"You have my permission to slap me around if I want to go in half-cocked from now on," he said, trying to smile a little. "And I'll try not to be so stupid. You know how hard that is for me."

She managed a smile, though she kept her eyelids lowered. She couldn't look at him right now, not so close.

"I'll believe it when I see it," she teased quietly.

"Look at me," he encouraged gently, one hand moving up into her hair while the other stilled against her left cheek.

She took a breath to steel herself before meeting his eyes. He didn't look too well, but he did look better. He was going to be fine. "You should be lying down. You didn't get much rest."

"I'll rest when I'm dead," he said playfully, before kissing her lightly again. "Wake me when we get to the next town."

She nodded, lightly brushing the hair from his forehead before pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Okay."

Sleep was easier after he was on his stomach, and the sound and the sensation of the Impala turning off was enough to wake him. It was pitch dark save for the piercing halogen lamp from the parking lot beaming through the back window. It was a painful sort of light, one that made Sam want to cover his face with his arm. Ruby turned in her seat, gently touching his arm. "I'm going to go get us a room. I'll be right back."

"I'll be here," he said groggily.

She didn't take long, using one of his cards. When she got back, she got the bag from the trunk first, then went to his door. Rather than sit up and successfully make all the blood rush out of his head, Sam rolled to his side and slowly inched himself upright, sliding carefully out of the Impala and pulling himself against her frame. A small part of him harped on himself for letting her drive and get the room, and carry in their bag, but the rest of him quickly stifled any urge to be chivalrous. Supporting him and the bag was more awkward than difficult, and juggling the key as well was a bit awkward, but they got through the door. "Go ahead and get in bed," she said with a smile.

"With my shoes on?" he asked incredulously, taking five steps in and falling on the bed regardless of his statement.

"I'll get those for you, too," she said sarcastically, throwing the bag on the second bed before grabbing his feet.

"Hey, ow," came the immediate whine, and Sam gave a weak kick in an attempt to dislodge her grip.

She gave him a look, just managing to keep from smiling. "Your headache move to your feet?"

"The laces are tight," he whined again, trying to use his toe to scuff down the ankle of the other foot.

"Well stop moving around and I'll fix that," she chided, giving his ass a sharp swat before taking on his laces. The swat was enough to get a small yelp from him, but he didn't argue after that, letting her undo the double-knots and put an inch of give in each shoe before tugging them free. She slid her own shoes off before hopping into bed next to him, her arm draped over his back as she pressed close. It wasn't a hint for anything more; she was tired, and he needed rest. She just needed to be near him, a reminder he was still there. The moment she was in the bed he turned and pulled her against him, his face pressed into her shoulder.

"Thought you got two beds?" he murmured against the cloth, eyes closed.

Her fingers ran into his hair, massaging light circles. "Other bed's for the bag," she teased.

"I had the clothes cleaned; they shouldn't be crawling and begging for scraps now," he countered playfully, nipping lightly at her shoulder through the shirt.

"Ow," she whined, taking a page from his book.

"You like it," he said, sliding his arm down her side. Truthfully he was glad for the closeness, especially the way the night before had been and then the events of that day.

Well, hard to argue with that. She closed her eyes with a sigh, her fingers still working slow circles on his scalp. Though she was the one giving the massage, she could feel the tension seeping out of her, the bed feeling softer, his body feeling warmer. When her breathing evened out, Sam gave a soft sigh of relief. While she was definitely the one taking the cake for worrying today, he could tell she was tired, if not physically then definitely mentally and emotionally. Without caring that they were still fully dressed and on top of the covers he curled against her, letting his own eyes fall closed as he drifted off to sleep.

They snapped open just a few hours later, and for a moment Sam didn't know why. Then he heard a breath of a whimper very near his ear. In his arms, Ruby gave a twitch and another whimper, louder, her mouth moving but no sound coming out. Then she gave a jerk, her breath getting faster against his hair. He knew almost immediately that she was dreaming, and his brow knotted in concern, turning her gently over on her back to touch her face and rub her arms.

"Ruby," he said in a low voice, his lips at her brow as he gave her a gentle shake. "You're dreaming. C'mon, Ruby, wake up."

She scowled, her brow furrowing and her arms shrinking away from his touch. Her eyes opened, darting around the dark ceiling. He was there, he'd been there and - there were hands touching her. She jerked away, half sitting up before she saw who they belonged to.

"Sam! Sam, Barbas is back, I don't know how, but his new body-" Her brain caught up with the memories, and suddenly they didn't make sense. Barbas hadn't just been in a new body, he'd been in a body that couldn't exist, that hadn't for 700 years. She slowly lay back down, her brow knit in confusion. "I thought... But he was..." She swallowed, feeling a growing lump in her throat.

"Bad dream," Sam said gently, reaching for her and pulling her toward him regardless of any trepidation of negative repercussions from the leftover bits of the dream she was still clinging to. "It's okay. We're safe. It's okay."

His touch made her give a violent shudder, but she quickly curled against him, her face burrowed against his neck, her hands twisted in his shirt. This was real, the salty leathery smell of his skin, the warmth of his arms, this. Not Barbas, and not the man - the boy, really, he'd been such a child - not anymore. Not the screams, not the thousand deaths he writhed or how he was suddenly Sam or, for one striking, shocking moment, Dean. No, the boy had died once, not now. She knew this. But her body shook, because she didn't know. "I can't remember," she whispered against Sam's neck, staring in blank fear. "I don't know, I can't remember."

Sam wasn't sure exactly what she was referring to, but it was disconcerting in a way. He hadn't known what Barbas's payment had been, and part of him was afraid to even ask. But for a brief moment his thoughts drifted to something else; that desperate ache he'd felt in his chest after his first hunt when he'd woken up screaming. Dean had been out with some girl at the bar they'd stopped at and Sam, too young to drink but old enough to perform an exorcism and put sutures in his brother's arm after yanking out a bullet he'd caught in the crossfire, had been left to a hotel room alone. He'd wanted someone, anyone, to tell him that it had just been a dream. To comfort him. Sam turned her slightly in his embrace so he was all but cradling her, one hand smoothing over her back, the other down her hair as he kissed her forehead, temple, and any spare bit of skin he could reach. Each kiss felt like it drew away a bit more of her panic, but the emptiness was still there, an inexplicable black hole that she knew she couldn't fill. It wasn't supposed to matter. He'd said it wouldn't hurt, he'd said she wouldn't miss it.

Demons lie.

She closed her eyes, letting out a long breath that didn't release the ache. Her hands still held to his shirt, almost afraid to let go. When he realized it wasn't quite working, Sam sighed worriedly. Unsure what else to do he tilted her face up, pressing his forehead lightly against hers before pressing his lips chastely to hers. She could hear his concern, feel it in his lips. She pulled back only enough to speak, her forehead still against his. "I'm okay," she lied, her eyes still closed. "I'll be okay."

"No you're not," he said immediately. "You don't have to lie to me, Ruby."

She was quiet a while, before she slowly loosened her grip on his shirt, laying her palms flat on his chest. "I'd forgotten dreams could be so violent," she whispered. "That they could make you...feel like that."

Even after she'd relaxed a little, he didn't let go of her. He did, however, slowly lay them flat against the bed once more, his arms tight around her. "It's just your head working things out. You know that, right?"

Swallowing, her eyes opened slightly, though she didn't look at him. "What if it can't?" she said quietly. "Will it keep trying?"

"Sometimes," Sam said quietly. "But once you've done it once, it becomes easier to recognize it the second time."

She tensed again. She didn't care if it wasn't real, she didn't want to see that again. Well, if her subconscious had something to work out... "He took a memory," she said, opening her eyes and looking into his. "Part of the payment. And I... I can feel it. It was just...ripped out of the center of things. Like having your elbow torn off but being able to use your hand. It's not right. But it won't change."

Sam frowned. "Was it something important?"

Important. How could you define that? "No," she said. Then, because he'd said so, she couldn't lie. "Yes, to me. It doesn't really matter, just... It was mine."

She'd made a face at his question, which almost made him want to take the question back. Her further answer only made it more apparent why; even though it might have been an insignificant memory, it was a memory from when she was human, and in her case every single one of those memories mattered.

"Did he say what he was taking?" he asked, to clarify.

She swallowed. "When I was most afraid," she said, managing a smile. "Bit of a sadistic academic."

Sam tried to smile, but his face refused the falseness. "That should be a relief. And yet he just ripped it out of you and left... well, your analogy's better than anything I could come up with. Fear for fear."

Ruby nodded. It was worse. Before she'd at least known what it was. Now she was just jumping at shadows in the dark. It could be nothing at all, just childhood nerves, or it could be the worst imaginable. And she wouldn't now. Her eyes darted back to him. It was late. "You should be resting," she said, her hand rubbing lightly against his neck.

As if to read her mind, Sam nuzzled his nose into hers. "You don't have to be afraid about not knowing your worst fear anymore. Could be that this gives you a chance to be afraid of something else; people change. And as for sleep... I want to make sure you fall asleep again. If you start to rehash, I'll wake you up."

She didn't want to go back to sleep, but that was probably why he wanted to make sure she did. Like falling off a horse. "Don't know if I can sleep," she admitted. "Not tired enough now."

That almost made him laugh. "Well. That's a dilemma."

Her smile was easier this time. "You sleep," she said, giving him a chaste kiss. "You need it. And I'll stay right here."

"I dunno," he said, half-smiling. "Not sure I can sleep either, now."

She recognized that tone of voice, the gentle nudge and implication. But for the first time, since they'd pushed past the boundary of 'should we?', she didn't want him. Not right then. It was an impossible feeling, wrong, it shouldn't exist, and so she pressed her lips against his, willing it away. There was no heat to it, though, and he could feel it. His first reaction was to immediately end it, but for a moment he let it linger, putting a different emotion into it. His hand slid up against her cheek, fingertips pushing lightly into her hair while his thumb traced a path against her cheekbone. He kept it soft, tender, every part of him feeling sympathy for what she was experiencing.

After deepening it just for a moment he pulled back, eyes opening to look at her. "I'm gonna hit BK for you, then I'm gonna take a shower, and hopefully by the end of that I'll konk out a little easier. Do you want to come with, or d'you wanna stay for a bit? Get a few minutes away from me?"

She didn't want to be away from him, but some time to think, to try to put things together without him looking, caring so much, was somewhat appealing. "As long as it's only a few," she said, smiling slightly. As long as you stay safe.

He gave a nod, reluctantly detangling himself from her. "D'you want me to lock you in?" he asked.

She was a little ashamed that she didn't even need to think about it. "Yes."

With another nod, Sam slid off the bed, putting his shoes on without bothering to do the laces up but tucking them into the sides instead. Wordlessly he went to the duffel bag, opening it and going for the separate bag inside it to pull out the salt canister. After treating the doors and windows he went back to deposit it, pausing just long enough to look back at her.

"I'll be back in twenty minutes." He paused as if to consider something else, but shook his head. "Promise." And then he was gone.

She considered getting up. Pacing, perhaps, or taking a shower. But she ended up shifting the covers aside and sliding under, curling in the heat he'd left behind, staring at the door. He'd asked her once what she remembered about how it felt to be human. Naive, powerless, and afraid. She'd thought at the very least she was done being naive, but apparently not. No more plans that assume demons are anything but sadistic bastards.

Twenty minutes felt like an agonizingly long amount of time, and paranoia eventually brought Ruby to staring at the wall clock instead. What if he didn't come back? The only way out would be to wait until the cleaning staff came by in the morning. What if he got hurt, in the meantime? It became almost suffocating. She was just about to call the clerk downstairs to ask for help when the doorknob turned and he came though it, exactly twenty minutes almost on the dot, with a bag from Burger King and a small vanilla shake, as well as a generic brown bag from the grocery store, both of which he brought over to the small table. She didn't want it to seem like she'd been too worried, so she didn't rush over to him so much as walk quickly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips before taking the Burger King bag. "Thanks," she said, focusing on opening the bag and snagging a fry but staying close to him. He offered her a small smile in return, pulling out toothpaste, deodorant, and a 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner bottle as well as a large bottle of beer. All but the beer ended up carefully being juggled in his arms. "I'll be out in a bit."

"Okay," she said, patting his ass as he went by. Having him back and safe was more relaxing than she imagined. She sat down, prying the lid off the shake before dipping a fry in. After a few minutes the sound of the shower was heard echoing dimly off the walls, like rain. Ruby leaned back in her chair, soon twisting off the beer's cap and taking the shake and beer in turns as she ate. It was easy to focus on the monotonous sound of water, drowning out other thoughts to relish in the simplicity of the moment. By the time Sam got out of the shower, her mind was in a food-, drink-, and lack of sleep-induced fuzz. He was less pink this time, though he looked weary, and a quick glance at the clock showed that it was nearing 3AM. Way past his preferred hour of sleep. He went to the duffel to get a pair of boxers, going to the bed to sit in order to pull them on, all the while watching her.

"You okay?"

Her gaze had been off in the corner, and she blinked at his words, her head swiveling to focus on him. She smiled. "Feelin' tired again," she said, holding up the empty bottle, her grin widening. She slid to her feet, walking over to him slowly before taking his face in her hands, leaning down to claim a languid kiss. Sam's brows immediately rose, his lips not unresponsive but definitely tentative. When he pulled back he looked at her again.

"Wouldn't've placed you as a lightweight," he murmured, amused.

She smiled, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Beer and milkshake. Deadly mix," she teased, her hand brushing along his brow. She paused thoughtfully. "You're tired. You need to sleep."

"You've said that already," he said with a breath of a laugh, kissing the underside of her jaw. "I could be more tired," he said in a lower tone, one hand reaching for hers.

Her smile lengthened, and she guided his hand to the clasp of her jeans, her own hands grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. The pair of boxers long forgotten, Sam moved his other hand around her waist to tug her forward, lips moving to her abdomen as he made short work of the button-fly of her jeans. She gave an appreciative groan before shimmying out of her pants and underwear. Then she pulled back away from him.

"Lie down," she said, not an order but not a request. While she appreciated his mouth, this was about what she wanted, and she wanted to do the tasting. Sam did as she said, inching himself up the mattress a bit so that his legs weren't hanging over the end. His eyes feasted eagerly on the sight of her, nude and toned with a look on her face that was equal parts hungry and aroused. Slowly, she knelt at the foot of the bed, her hand sliding lightly over his right foot. She only had to inch onto the bed as she leaned forward, her teeth lightly grazing where his ankle met his tibia before she pressed a kiss in the same spot. Sam's jaw clenched visibly, his hands moving to his sides to clench and unclench in the duvet as he watched. The towel which was still tied loosely around his waist started to tent, but whether he noticed or was ashamed of the fact was unknown from the expression on his face. She smiled at his reaction, her mouth moving to kiss a slow trail up his shin. She paused at his knee, teeth grazing his knee cap before her tongue explored the rounded contours, sliding down so she continued her journey up the inside of his thigh.

It was both amazing and torturous, and the further up she went the more Sam found himself squirming with anticipation. As she finally reached the top of his thigh and opened the towel, her tongue slid towards his hip, following the thick line of hair around where she knew he'd rather her mouth go. As she got to the center, she kissed along the thin trail, pausing to dip her tongue in his navel. The nerves in his abdomen twitched and Sam pressed his head back into the mattress, breathing shallowly through an open mouth and fighting off the urge to either beg her or order her to get to the main event. His hands were thoroughly clenched in the duvet at that point in an effort not to tangle in her hair. She smiled again as she felt his muscles tensing and shifting under her mouth, but she didn't speed up, slowly kissing and licking her way up to his nipple, taking it firmly between her teeth.

"Fuck," he rasped emphatically, unable to contain himself any longer. One arm wound around her waist and he thrust up against her hip, desperate for friction, anything to help relieve the almost painful sensation of his needy erection. Ruby wasn't entirely surprised at his reaction, and she smiled as she slid herself up to press a kiss to the base of his jaw.

"You were doing so well," she said in a playful whine. "Almost thought you'd keep control. Now I can't give you your reward."

That immediately brought a low whimper out of him. "Please," he begged, fighting to regain composure of himself. "I need-"

She quivered, warmth rushing down through her at his words. She covered his mouth with her finger tips, pressing another kiss to his jaw. "Put your arm down and hold still," she said, not an order but a promise. "Keep control just a little longer."

She kissed her way down his neck, pausing first to nip at his Adam's apple then to dip her tongue where his neck met his clavicle. She was as slow as ever, but the direction was more definite this time. Sam screwed his eyes shut and moved his arm back to his side, hoping that the lack of watching would help. It didn't. When he felt her tongue lave over the opposite nipple he had to clench his jaw to keep from groaning, his hands fisted so tight in the duvet that he cold feel his nails press into his palms through the fabric. She could feel him tense beneath her, but he kept impressively still. Her tongue only circled the rim of his navel, rather than lingering, before she finally pulled away. One hand on the inside of his thigh, she positioned her lips so they only just didn't touch his cock. "Good boy," she breathed, her breath hot against him. Then her hand circled the base of his cock as she passed the head through her lips.

He thought he might die when she didn't move, the wet heat of her mouth enough to wipe all thoughts from his mind. His eyes opened and he looked down at her with unadulterated want, jaw clenched. It wasn't the best idea, as the sight of her alone made the effort twice as hard. Her eyes met his as her head dipped lower, her hand sliding up to meet her lips. It started slow, but he had been patient. She bobbed back up, her tongue swirling around his head before she moved down again, going deeper.

Sam gasped, afraid to make any noise louder than that for fear that was part of her unspoken rules, his hands moving away from the duvet in favor of holding onto the headboard. His grip tightened, grateful for something more solid to grip, every part of him urging him to thrust up into that lush mouth. He felt her teeth rake faintly against the head of his cock and clenched his jaw again before forcibly exhaling, sharp and audibly. She really hadn't meant for him to keep holding back at this point, but the fact that he was, because he thought she wanted it, made her head spin. As her hand and mouth bobbed into a rhythm, her other hand slid between her own legs, her eyes falling closed at the welcome touch. He watch with rapt attention all the while, and the moment he saw her other hand move he knew what she was doing, and felt his control slip, not so much thrusting as bucking upward the once, immediately rewarded by the feeling of her tongue sliding against the ridge. He finally groaned, his head falling back again. She decided he'd suffered enough, her hands continuing to stroke both him and herself as she pulled her lips away. "Okay, Sam," she said, her voice hoarse with need. "Do what you want."

"Up here," he said in a gravelly voice, reaching for her. He watched as she slid up the bed, her hand never once moving from between her thighs, but he had better plans. He turned on his side, moving her until she was right next to him before situating behind her, gently nudging her own fingers aside and entering her with one sharp thrust. One hand went to the headboard above her shoulder, the other slid around her hip and over hers to twist and circle her clit. She gave a sharp cry as he thrust; every time, she forgot just how perfect it was, how he filled every part of her. Her hips jumped at his touch, needing more, and now. "Fuck me, Sam," she groaned, looking back over her shoulder at him.

After what felt like an eternity of being teased within an inch of sanity, Sam had no problem with that request, bowing over her to claim her mouth as he found a hard, fast pace. His grip on the headboard kept it from slamming into the wall, though barely. Ruby eagerly attacked his mouth, her hand sliding behind his neck to hold him there as every thrust pulled a gasp from her. He was determined to bring her with him, finally breaking the kiss to nip and bite at her neck and shoulder, moving his hand from between her legs to her right breast instead. He pinched her nipple before cupping the curve in his hand, moving to nip at the patch of skin just behind her ear. She keened sharply at the pinch, her eyes falling shut, letting the sensation of him become everything. Every nip and press was a sharp spike of pleasure in the constant rhythm of his thrusts, her hands twisting tightly in the sheets.

The minutes stretched into forever as he pounded into her, his mouth moving between the dip of her shoulder blades to taste her skin, the hand on her breast moving to the other to repeat the ministrations before gripping her shoulder underhand. Half-formed words rose and fell in his head like smoke, not quite making it to his mouth, but he wanted so much to tell her what she did to him, not only now but always. Almost in an afterthought he pulled out, gently turning her onto her back before he slipped easily into her again, his face moving into her neck. She gasped as he withdrew, her mind reeling in one eternal moment, wondering if he would make her beg, take revenge for how she'd made him squirm, or find a way to plow her deeper. So the gentle touch surprised her, the almost reverential way he took her again. Her hands twisted up into his hair, amazed and overwhelmed and loving him. Her legs entwined his waist, pulling him deeper, all the way to the center of her. She nipped at his ear lobe before whispering, "Sam," hoping the syllable held everything she couldn't find the words to say.

"Me, too," came the low response, his mouth nipping and sucking at the spot between her neck and shoulder, one arm sliding beneath her back and up to her shoulder as the other curled over her head against the pillow. He leaned up, rocking her back so he was that much deeper, urgency upping his tempo and constricting his chest. Her hips rose eagerly to meet him, her hands sliding down his neck to grip his back. She whimpered, the pleasure and more drowning her, and then he slid against the deepest part of her. Her mouth fell open in a silent gasp that rose into a keen, then another, sharp and high, tumbling over in sound upon sound, everything well past words. The pleasure crashed over her as she bucked wildly, her nails digging deep. The bite of her nails was lost in the clench of her around him and almost frantically he doubled up the pace, managing four complete thrusts before he quickly followed, crushing his mouth against hers with a muffled groan. Even as the storm of her mind quieted, she felt him pulsing heat inside her, shifting her hips to try to milk every last drop, her tongue thrusting eagerly into his mouth. The movements were enough to pull a hard shudder from him, his grip on her shoulder tightening as his last few thrusts turned erratic. When there was nothing left in him he collapsed for a moment against her, his heartbeat roaring in his ears and his breathing so hard it nearly hurt. When both started slowing down he finally rolled off of her, eyes still closed and one hand coming up to push through his hair. He felt the damp cling of sweat at the roots and gave a breathless laugh. She followed him as he rolled, pressed against him and raising an eyebrow at the smile.

"What?" she mumbled, bemused.

"Nothing," he said, letting his hand fall above his head and turning just enough to look at her. Her skin glowed faintly both from the weak light coming through the window and from post-coitus. Everything about her expression said 'well-fucked', and that thought alone was enough to put a smile on his face for a few moments before he reached over to caress her face. The lingering, amused smile slowly faded from her expression, her eyes locked on his, her hand resting on his chest as her thumb swirled soft circles. Everything was quiet; just his breath, the beat of his heart against her fingertips. After a long moment he craned his neck to brush his lips against hers, slow and gentle before he pulled back again, moving his arm across her back. He thought for a moment of telling her how beautiful she was, but immediately put that thought aside; while it was her, making those expressions and looking blissful and tired, it wasn't really her, and he didn't want to tread down that path of logic. All that mattered was that she was relaxed and not scared, and probably much closer to restful than she had been previously. Another phrase bubbled to the surface, but that one also faded. Words weren't necessary, he decided. This was more than enough. Time seemed to come back with a soft snap. Ruby smiled slightly, her eyes leaving his before sliding closed. They were supposed to sleep, after all, and if she didn't think too much about it, right now it probably wouldn't be too hard. Still, she snuggled closer to Sam, letting out a long breath. When she resettled Sam reached for the edge of the blanket, giving it a hard tug until he felt it come loose from the tuck to pull over the both of them. That done he moved his arm back over her hip and closed his eyes.