KP's Father of the Bride Chapter 3: Coordination Is Key, a kim possible fanfic

Hey, guys! babbitrulez, here! I made the deadline! She likes Me for Me is by Blessid Union of Souls. So, here is Chapter 3: Coordination Is Key. Hope you enjoy! Oh, and by the way, underlines mean lyrics to songs. Just to tell you. Yeah. So, once again, enjoy!

Chapter 3: Coordination Is Key

"I just don't see why we have to go see a wedding coordinator. We could coordinate it ourselves."

Kim leaned forward in her seat, looked at me with my mother's green eyes, and said, "Dad. The only things you can coordinate are rockets... and your own clothes. You can't even remember Mom's dress size, yet you remember all the vectors, gears, and blueprints (not to mention the Hephaestus Project --well, until Drakken used his brain tap machine on you) in the world! I think we need a wedding coordinator."

I crossed my arms, puffed my lower lip out in a huff, and stared out the window, all the while, sinking in my seat. The road to Upperton is very boring. I tried to start a conversation. Yes, it was about the coordinator.

"So, Anne. About the-- "

"James."

"--coordi--"

"Dad."

"--nator."

"No, Dad. We're going to a wedding coordinator."

"But--"

"We're."

"Yeah, bu--"

"Going."

"Kimmie, I--"

"To."

"Anne? Help me out here? Plea--"

"The."

"Anne. Plea--"

"Coordinator."

Sorry, James. Kim's got her mind set for this."

Kim sat there, arms crossed, with a smug look on her face.

I sighed.

"Hello, Franc."

"Oh! Hallo, dahling! How ahr you?"

"Franc" walked over to Anne and hugged her.

Franc. With his... dark black hair... and his... weird French-ish accent... and his... few wrinkles... and his... thinness (is that even a word?)... and his... non-gray hairs... and his... accent... and-- Oh, wait. I'm repeating myself.

"Franc, we're having a home wedding reception."

"Really, Kimmie?"

"Dad... I told you not to call me 'Kimmie' in public. And definitely don't call me--"

"Kimmie-cub?"

Kim smacked her forehead. "Ugh. Yes, Dad. 'Kimmie-cub'."

Srprisingly, Franc hadn't heard any of our little exchange.

He must've gone to get that book he has in his hands. What's in it? Pictures, maybe? Pictures of--

"Wadding cakes!"

Anne and Kim hurried over to Franc and sat down next to him --Kim to his left and Anne to his right. I walked up behind the bench the three of them were sitting on just as Franc opened the book. I instantly saw the prices.

Good garden party! That is high!

Franc pointed to a five-layer cake. It was sliced open in the picture so that you could tell it was a white cake with raspberry filling in the lowest layer. The cake was covered in white icing --or was it gum paste?-- and had white, raised swirls on it. He let us look at it and said, "Fashionable wadding."

He then flipped a few pages, pointed, and said,"That one... I don't do no mowr."

He then flipped through and pointed again. "Dis one is gowrgeous."

"Yeah, Dad. It is! Can we get it? Please?"

I thought for a few seconds and said,"What is this? Dollars? Twelve thousand dollars? For a cake?"

Franc, with his smug self, answered with,"Welcome to the 1970's, Mr. Possible."

The next day, I was at work, installing a parapulsor power cell designed by that Dr. Langston who created that cursed MRM, happy that I didn't have to talk about the wedding when...

She likes me for me.

Not because I'm tough like Dirty Harry,

Make her laugh just like Jim Carrey.

I'm like the cable guy.

...Franc called.

But what she sees,

Is that I can't live without her,

My arms belong around her,

And I'm so glad I found her once again,

I'm so--

"Yello?"

"Dis is Franc. I vant to talk about ze wadding. Vat do you zink abowt cream and green? You know, to tie into yowr dowter's eyes, hmmm?"

"Uhhh... you're --scccchhh-- breaking up. --scccchhh-- I --scccchhh-- can't hear --scccchhh-- you." I hung up. "Phew. Dodged a big bullet there."

The next morning, I didn't have to work, so I went up to the attic to find my old tux. After rummaging around a bit, I found my old black tux and put it on. For some reason, I felt like dancing in ti.

I walked in front of a mirror, stared for a moment, and began singing,"What's new, pussycat? Woah-oh. Woah-oh," over and over again as I swung my hips in time to the rythym.

Anne walked up the attic stairs and looked at me. I stopped, turned to her, and sung,"Pussycat, pussycat, I love you." As I sang, I slowly strutted over to her.

Just then, Kim came up the stairs. She stared, mouth gaping open in shock.

All I said was,"Hey! Bought it in '75, and it still fits!"

A few hours later, we were preparing for the wedding with me still in my tux. People were bustling about our house like ants.

Anne and I listened to a singer. He... wasn't very good at it.

"I'm... on it...

I... got it...

I can do... any thing..."

"Okay, we'll get back to you on singing for the wedding." Anne was much better at letting them down easy than me. After he was out of earshot, she said,"That would be a never."

I smiled, then saw two men moving our couch, turning my bright smile into a confused frown. Franc was supervising them, so I walked over to him and asked,"What are you doing with my couch?"

"Oh, well we have to move de furniture if we want to fit mowr dan two-hundred bodies in heeur."

I grunted in frustration and shuffled back over to Anne. There was a lady talking to her. I got there right when Miss Unknown Lady said,"--and the swans will be swimming around in a pool."

I added to the conversation. "What if we don't have a pool?"

She went from oddly happy to as stern as stern could be in half a nanosecond. "Forget about it. You will."

I couldn't take it anymore. One more thing, and I'm outta here. I don't care where I go, I'd just have to get away.

"Incoming!," I heard two identical voices shout simultaneously.

Oh great..., I thought as a rocket zoomed towards me.

RIIIIIPP!

All eyes turned to me. That darn rogue rocket had gone right past me, grabbed a piece of my tux, and tore it right off.

I slowly lifted my head to all the worried faces.

ZOOM!

I drove the car as fast as possible and ended up... at the supermarket.

Hot dog buns. Hot dogs. Crazy.

"Sir? May I help you? Is... there a problem?"

"Yes! Yes, there is a problem!" I picked up the hot dogs and buns. "Stores always sell you eight hot dogs, but twelve hot dog buns! They're conning the people of America!" I began to remove some of the buns. "That is why I am removing the four extra ones so I don't waste my money on them!"

"Sir, you still have to pay regular price for those. And what you're doing is tampering with the merchandise, not making it better."

"What I am doing is showing the disgrace of this conspiracy known as 'twelve hot dog buns when there's only eight hot dogs' to the American public!"

He pulled a speaker up to the side of his mouth from his collar and whispered,"Security. We've got a tamperer," into it.

Although I had only barely heard him and therefore wasn't paying much attention to the statement, I still said,"And I don't care if I go to jail for it! You hear me?! I! Don't! Care!"

The cell door slid and closed with a CLANG!

I sighed. "Going crazy over a few extra hot dog buns. Wow. It must be the stress. I guess I've been-- Anne!"

"Go ahead with what you were saying. I want to hear it."

"Uh... I guess I've been a complete and total jerk."

"Mm-hmmm..."

"So... are you going to bail me out?"

"Only... if you repeat after me."

"O-kay..."

"I, insert name here,--"

She glared at me, crossed her arms, and tapped her foot.

"Okay. Too early for the funny stuff. I, James Possible,--"

"--promise to pull it together,--"

"--act my age,--"

"--stop hyperventilating,--"

"--stop rolling my eyes,--"

"--stop telling everyone how much the wedding is going to cost,--"

"How much is-- stop telling everyone how much the wedding is going to cost,--"

"--and try to see my daughter's feelings,--"

"--plus how every roll of my eyes hurts her."

"You feel better now?"

"Yeah. Surprisingly... I do!"

"Okay. Now let's get you out of here and back home. Maybe the six of us can cool down from this hectic day with a game of basketball."

"Sure! I-- wait. Who's the 'six of us' you're talking about?"

"James..."

"What?"

Sigh. "Jim, Tim, Kim, you, me..., and Ron."

"O-okay. I-I'm fine with that."

"Good. Now lets get you home, mister."

Kim was splitting the group into two teams.

"Okay, guys. Mom, Jim, and Ron, you're on the same team. Everyone else --Dad, Tim-- you're on my team."

"That's her Kimness talking," Ron whispered into Mrs. Dr. Possible's ear.

Kim turned around, pivoting on her right foot. She walked up to Ron, arms crossed, and began staring him down. "What did you say?"

"N-n-nothing. Nothing at all."

"Funny. I thought I heard the word 'Kimness'. Care to explain?"

"Uhhh..."

Jim whispered to Tim,"Lovers quarrel!"

Apparently Kim caught that too and glared at them. When they stepped back some, she turned back to Ron. "Well...?"

"Well... What I was saying was..."

"Mm-hmmm..." Kim egged him to continue.

"Ummm... I was just saying that... your... Kimness... was one of the things I love about you."

Kim smiled. "Okay. That'll have to do." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek and walked back to our team. "So. Dad, you're center."

"Right," I answered.

"Jim, you're point guard."

"Sure."

"And I'll be small forward. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

"Sure."

"Okay. On three. One. Two. Three."

"Victory!"

"Come oooon! Let's play some b-ball!"

The other five humans rolled their eyes at Ron's comment. Rufus, on the other hand, yelled,"Yeah! B-ball!" Ron high-fived Rufus.

We all lined up in our positions. I was tipping off with Anne. Rufus tossed up the ball. Anne tipped it to her team.

Jim caught the ball and passed it off to Ron. Ron dribbled as he wove through me and Tim. He slowed down a tiny bit when he reached Kim. He shot the ball towards the hoop. Just as he did so, a blur of red and peach with two green spots jumped up and swatted it back over Ron's head and towards me.

I caught it from over my head by jumping --not one of my strong points-- and dribbled with it partially down the court. I then passed it to Tim over Jim's head.

Tim caught it and began dribbling closer towards the hoop. I thought he was going to shoot and thought No! He didn't. He passed to Kim, who was about two feet away from the hoop.

She dribbled the ball once and jumped up to the hoop. She slam dunked the ball, but was hanging onto the basket. "Uhhh... A little help here..."

Ron rushed to her and took hold of her waist. She let go and he caught her. Her back was on his left arm, her legs draped over his right. She held onto his shoulders with both arms. He carefully placed her onto the ground.

"Thanks."

"So this time you needed saving."

Kim sighed. "Yes, Mom."

"You. The girl who can backflip off the top of a cheerleading pyramid and land in a split."

"Well... Yeah..."

"And Ron got you down."

"Yeah...?"

"And he carried you."

"Uh-huh..."

"And exactly how did he carry you?"

Kim shrugged her shoulders.

Anne walked over to Kim and whispered something to her. Kim's eyes flew wide open and she blushed as red as a cooked lobster.

"What?" Ron was totally lost. Actually, so was I. Kim whispered into his ear. "Oh! Oh." He blushed almost as bad as Kim.

I read Kim's lips. She had said,"The same way a husband carries his wife out the chapel after the wedding." I could tell why the two had turned beet red. Apparently the twins read her lips too because they were flat out laughing.

The rest of the game went the same way. The other team shot, Kim pulled off this crazy defensive move, and our team scored. A few times, Ron actually scored, but the end score was still 3 to 24. Guess who won? That's right. Our team.

I walked into the living room where Kim and Ron were cuddling with a two gift boxes --one medium-sized, the other small and wrapped-- behind my back. "Kimmie? Ronald?"

They looked up at me instantly.

"Here. You guys might need this." I handed them the small package.

"Oh, thanks, Dad!"

"Yeah! Thanks, Mr. Dr. P.!"

Kim opened the box and was shocked. Then she blushed. I smiled. "Ron. Look inside the box."

He leaned over and looked inside. He looked up at her and said,"So what? They're condoms." She stared at him, waiting patiently. Realization slowly crept over his features. "Oh!"

I burst out laughing.

"Dad!"

"I'm sorry, Kimmie. I couldn't help it," I said between laughs. "Here's your real present," I said, handing her the larger box. Kim looked between me and the box skeptically. "Don't worry. That first one was just a gag gift. It was your mother's idea."

"Okay..." Kim handed it to Ron.

"Why are there holes in it?"

"Ronald?"

"Yeah?"

"Just open it."

"O-okay..." He opened it. He felt a cold, wet nose touch his hand. "Hey! It's a--"

"Puppy!" Kim reached into the box and pulled her out. She snuggled her face into it's fur.

"Oh-ho. So cute."

"Mr. Dr. P."

"Yes, Ronald?"

"What's it's name?"

"Her name is Sunny."

"So... her last name will be... Stoppable. Sun... Stoppable..."

The two looked at each other after Kim made that discovery. "Unstoppable!," they said in unison.

Jim, Tim, and I went to Tam's Tuxes to buy what else but tuxes. Jim and Tim came out of the fitting rooms and pulled on their collars, smiling at each other. I tried on a black tuxedo. Or at least... so I thought...

"Dad? Why are you wearing--"

"--a blue tux?"

"It's not blue. Is it?"

As we picked out tuxedos, Anne and Kim looked at dresses. I didn't get to hear much of what happened there, though. Anne didn't want me telling Ron. All she told me was that the dress was beautiful. I had to believe her.

Kim and Anne opened multiple presents in the living room. I took note of them. She recieved a gift card to Babies 'R' Us --from Monique--, 100 dollars from Tara to put in the bank, and a powder blue teapot from Bonnie.

"Oh! Mom! Dad! I gotta go! I promised Ron I'd meet him at his house!" I raised my eyebrow. "His parents will be there!"

"Okay..."

She ran out the house.

As Anne and I marveled at the beauty of the silverware sent from Drew and Sheila Lipsky, Kim ran inside the room.

"Send it back! Send it all back! The wedding's off!"

So, how did you like the chapter? What about the hook at the end? Didn't see that coming, did you? Well, review and await an explanation in the next chapter, Chapter 4: Heartbroken! What do you think will happen? I hope you enjoyed this chapter and will enjoy the next one. So, for another chapter, babbitrulez, out!