Alright everyone.this is Merry Christmas from Ali Phantom! I got waaaaaaay to many presents this year. But they are really good presents, not a hundred cheap ones but a bunch of good ones. I got a portable DVD player, CD's, and a bunch of other stuff I won't mention because that would distract you from the story!
Review Replies--
Em Phantom: Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked the chapter!
Bakers Dozen: Thank you very much!
ToBeDecided: I will always continue, it might not be very fast but it's here isn't it!?! And don't come after me, if you do then where will my story be? I'm glad you like my story so far, I've still got the plot to put in though.
rapidashponyta: Spacecraft, what spacecraft? GET OUT OF MY HEAD!... Oh wait, yes it does. :D
End of Review Replies--
That's a bit more reviews. Anyways, DISCLAIMER TIME!
Disclaimer of doomness: I don't own Danny Phantom, Harry Potter, Warner Bros. studios, Live with Regis and Kelly, New York City, New York State, Christmas, a Santa Suit, Microsoft or any corporations involved with Microsoft (except Magic to Muggles), Santa Clause franchise, a flying reindeeer, or anything else.
This fanfiction is not to be used for health purposes and can harm your health if you attempt to figure out my brain. Side effects are generally mild and may include eye pain from staring at the screen to hard, laughing, giggling, snorting, smirking, grinning, smiling, guffawing, tears of laughter, and the occasional "What the heck are you laughing about" from friends and/or family.
Magic to Muggles is not for everyone, do not read Magic to Muggles if you: are allergic to laughing, are blind, were born yesterday, are stupid, don't like poking fun at Harry Potter, don't like Ali Phantom, don't like fanfictions, don't like reading, are insane, are going to steal this (which I will sick my dogs on you for), or are intimidated by death threats.
"Merry Christmas everyone!" Ali shouted happily to whoever would listen. This included the studio audience, the television audience, and the cast and crew of Magic to Muggles.
Everyone was dressed in their normal attire, but with a Santa hat on their head.
Harry and Fulcon stood neat and clean in a line with the rest of the cast. They looked at each other.
"YES," they both yelled in delight. "We're out of that evil studio!" said Fulcon happily.
Cassie turned towards the two boys. "Harry, Fulcon, what happened, where are we and-" She raised an eyebrow. "Why are we all wearing Santa hats?"
The boys shrugged. "I don't know." said Harry. "Wait, how did you know our names?" asked Fulcon suspiciously.
"Well, you look like Daniel Radcliffe," she said pointing at Harry who sighed. "And you," she said pointing at Fulcon. "match the description given about Fulcon at Fanfiction . Net. And I also saw you both on the live feed."
Harry and Fulcon exchanged glances and looked back at Cassie. "What live feed?"
Cassie shook her head. "Never mind." she said not wanting to explain at the moment.
She held out her right hand. "I'm Cassie, the new co-host. Nice to meet both of you."
Fulcon arched an eyebrow and took her hand and stepped closer to her. "It's nice to meet you too." he said acting cool.
Cassie yanked back her hand. "Yeah, whatever." she said turning away to pay attention to the show.
Fulcon turned back to Harry. "You see that, she wants me." he said grinning.
Harry frowned and sighed. "That line has been used way too many times for these situations."
Fulcon frowned deeper then Harry. "Yeah, but she actually wants me." he said with pride.
Harry sighed and exchanged his frown with a blank expression. He knew he couldn't argue with Fulcon right now. He turned to Cassie and tapped her shoulder. "Cassie," he said. Cassie turned around. "Did Ali do anything to you, like she did us?" he said wondering if she felt their pain. Cassie shook her head.
"No, although an evil hair and makeup crew took me hostage." Harry raised both eyebrows. "How, why-" "Don't ask, trust me." she cut off quickly.
Everybody knew that was the end of the conversation so they turned their attention back to the show.
Ali hit the bell at the end of her hat and grinned. Apparently she had finished introducing the show.
"Since it's Christmas and all, I decided not to be completely heartless and update for Christmas."
Rings of gasps choked the building with disbelief clouding the air 'Ali…Updated?'.
Ali frowned. "Oh shut up, all of you." She said in her English accent. She cleared her throat.
"Today, in honor of Christmas, we have a special guest. No matter who you are you know him, some of you love him, he came a long way to be here today. The one, the only, Santa Clause!"
Cheers were heard across the city, if not faint, but nether less it still counts.
Right next to Ali, with a twinkle, a flash, and a glimmer, Santa appeared.
His black boots shined under the studio lights, his signature red and white outfit fit him like a glove, his Santa hat bell hung down on his neck, and his nylon beard glistened… Wait, what?
Cassie stepped out the line which the cast and crew had been assembled and crossed her arms.
Santa(?) spoke.
"Heheh, so what do YOU want for Christmas little girl. I uh made my deliveries last night but uh if you were a good little gi-"
"You are NOT Santa." Said Cassie coolly. "For one, Santa doesn't exist, two, your beard is fake, and three, your pillows are showing." She pointed to his stomach.
The imposter stood still, thinking about what to say.
Let's take a look into his brain to see what he's thinking, shall we?
Goes back in time a few seconds.
Inside the brain of Santa…?
I looked around me. Apparently I was on some kind of game show or something.
In1
A girl stood next to me dressed in black jeans and a blue t-shirt. She seems strange, better stay away from her…
Out
I looked behind me and there was a group of people all lined up. They all had Santa hats on their head. Were they "Santa's Helpers"?
In
Uh oh, a girl's coming towards me from that group. What does she want? I'm out of candy canes.
Out
She seems to like purple…Huh, she's gonna speak, act natural.
In
"Hello little girl, what did you want for Christmas?" I said being my regular, cool self. Thinking fast, I knew what to do. "I made my deliveries last night," I said. I'm great under pressure. I am so getting a raise for this.
Out
But then again, I don't want to make her upset. It's a one hour dock from the boss for every kid that leaves here crying. Better make it up to her.
In
"But if you were a good little gi-"
"You are NOT Santa." said the little girl. She cut me off, how rude! Stay focused, stay focused.
Out
"For one, Santa doesn't exist,"
Dang, she isn't a believer.
"Two, your beard is fake,"
In
Crap, I knew I should've gotten a better beard.
"And three, your pillows are showing." she pointed to my belly where I saw a stained pillow poking out from under my shirt.
Oh man, how embarrassing.
Out
Think quick, how do I make up for this, the boss'll kill me!
In
Out
In
Out
Got it!
I turned to the girl.
"You're right kid, I'm not Santa." She smirked triumphantly. Not for long.
"I, am Santa's helper." I said. Take that kid.
She frowned. "Yeah, right" she said she uncrossed her arms but remained rooted to the spot.
Ha, try correcting that kid! After all, technically I am Santa's helper…
Uh oh
INININININ
Santa's brain is boring, let's go.
Ali looked at Santa's helper with slight concern. "You okay Santa's helper?"
Santa was looking up at the ceiling. "Wuh, oh, yeah I'm fine… I thought I heard someone say something about my bra-" "Yes, yes, ahem, anyway." Ali quickly cut off the disgruntled man.
She looked up at the camera.
"So everybody, this is Santa's helper, he's here to be not-so-secret Santa!" The crew gasped and ran forward happily all chattering about juju beans and chalk sets.
Ali cleared her throat. "For the hosts." a disappointed sigh escaped the crew's lips.
"But, for the crew's Christmas, you all get a coughslightcough raise!" more cheers from the crew.
"Alright, now move out troops!" Ali commanded. The crew saluted and walked off stage leaving Ali, 'Santa', Fulcon, and Cassie on stage.
Ali turned to Santa's helper. "Now Santa's helper, may I call you Santet?"
Santa's helper frowned. "No you may not call me 'Santet', why would you call me that anyway?"
Ali shrugged.
"Well, according to Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. (All rights reserved.), a Santa is a woman who is a saint: used as a title, usually in place names, before the name of a woman who has been made a saint. (From Spanish and Italian , a form of San "Saint")" she said matter-of-factly.
"Plus you aren't Santa, so you are a Santet." She said in a calm yet happy way.
Santet turned red. "First you say Santa is a girl, then you say a bunch of things I don't understand, and THEN you call me Santet! What do you have to say for yourself young lady?" Ali's eyes started to glow an angry white.
Fulcon stepped next to Cassie.
"Now you've done it, you made Ali mad!" he shouted angrily at the confused mortal.
"Yeah," joined Cassie. "And you know who has to take her rampage, US!"
He smirked. "Come on kids, she's what, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 10? What's she gonna do, yell at me?"
Fulcon stared to see if the man was kidding and laughed at his feeble description at what he thought was Ali's worst.
"Dude," He said choking back tears of laughter. "Do you know what Ali did to me?"
Santet raised an eyebrow. "Um, no."
Fulcon smirked. "She practically destroyed the first studio with a giant wave, stranded me AND Harry Potter on a raft in the middle of the flood with a time limit on when we had to get out, and threatened me with her mutant dog!"
Santet raised another eyebrow. "Harry Potter? Harry Potter doesn't exist." Fulcon grabbed his own brown hair in frustration. "DID YOU NOT HEAR ANYTHING I JUST SAID OTHER THEN HARRY POTTER?" He yelled.
"NO, I HEARD THE REST OF IT!" Santet yelled back. "But could you prove that Harry Potter exists?" Fulcon rolled his eyes and pointed behind him.
Harry was just standing there muttering something to himself. "there's no place like home sparemefromAli'srath, there's no place like home…"
Santet's eyebrows shot up. "Is that Daniel Radcliffe?!?" Fulcon yelled in exasperation.
"That's not the point!" He yelled.
"Then what is?" Santet yelled back.
"ALI'S GONNA DESTROY US ALL!" Cassie yelled interrupting the yelling match.
Fulcon looked at her. "Thank you." he said with a sigh.
"No seriously guys, Ali's gonna vaporize us!" she yelled again. Everyone looked at Ali who had risen into the air. "Oh crap!" yelled Fulcon. He turned his head towards Santet.
"Moron." That was his final word as the world around him submerged into a bright light.
1. He's telling himself to breathe.
Well there you have it. Merry Christmas everyone! This was not planned, I thought of this last night and typed it out on the cpu this morning for an hour before I had to leave for Christmas stuff. Then I finished the rest a few minutes ago. I just finished this so please don't get me.
Part 2 is coming up but I'm taking new co-hosts if anyone's interested. Seriously, apply for the job. I can't finish this episode until I get a third co-host. See rules in my profile. Merry Chistmas everybody, and to all a good night. Cause it's really late.
Ali Phantom