"What time is it?" Chloe asked to cover her weird moment of silence.
"Only eleven." Beca smiled at her but the smile was tight and forced. They both knew Chloe was keeping something from her, which was very unusual and what's more, that Beca didn't like it.
"Oh." Chloe sat at the opposite end of the bed a little uncomfortable. The jeans were very tight and Beca was staring at her like she might be able to pluck the answer from Chloe's skin. She was afraid she might. Which was silly because she was sure that Beca wouldn't guess this in a million years. "Why are you back so early? Wasn't a good party?"
Beca's face only grew more confused. "You and I have a movie date, don't we?"
"Oh." She said again, and then a smile began to bloom on her face before she gave it permission. Her heart was fluttering and she felt silly but she didn't mind. Sometimes, at times like this, she wondered about them. Beca, it sometimes seemed, really actually did like her. Not just I-want-to-suck-on-your-face kind of like her but actually like her kind of like her.
Something in her face must have shown Chloe's thoughts because Beca began to fidget and looked away, embarrassed to have been caught being sweet. "So, what'd you wanna watch?" Beca asked, her fingers picking at the sheet under her.
It made Chloe want to laugh and roll her eyes. Only Beca could feel embarrassed for being so sweet. Emboldened by Beca's complete Beca-ness, Chloe began to crawl her way over the bed to settle beside her. "I don't know. What do you think?"
Beca didn't answer that question though and instead looked down at Chloe's jeans. "Not gonna have a pajama party tonight?"
Chloe just smiled and shrugged.
Beca was staring again, not fooled by Chloe's casual attitude. "Hot date later?"
Chloe fluttered her eyelashes over her shoulder at Beca and whispered in her best and most seductive voice, "Maybe. You'll have to let me know how hot it is though."
Beca's cheeks went pink and then red and she shifted a little.
Chloe loved it, loved making Beca blush like that. Thoughts of how it would feel when she woke the next morning alone in her bed tried to invade but she shook them off. That wasn't going to happen because she wasn't going to give Beca a reason to feel embarrassed, not tonight. Not that Beca should ever feel embarrassed, she reasoned.
Oh Beca, she thought, your complexity is both frustrating and awesome.
Chloe didn't make Beca watch a movie but instead they put on a funny TV show and settled in. Beca sighed and rested her head on Chloe's shoulder. She could smell the whiskey on Beca's breath and while she didn't think she was drunk, she also didn't think she was sober. The smell of whiskey probably meant shots with Stacie. It had probably been a great party then. Had she really come home so early just for her? Did that mean something? She didn't know, and that drove her a little crazy.
Chloe was always and had always been the forward one between them, she knew that and so she knew that it was usually she who leaned in for a kiss or took Beca's hand. She hadn't tonight though, trying to avoid even the smallest temptation. She liked Beca's hands. They were tiny – Beca was tiny – but they could be masterful and more than once Chloe had rocked herself into orgasm with the thought of them on her bare skin. She didn't need that reminder tonight and so she hadn't taken them. In fact, she had stayed beside Beca, her back straight, her hands clasped together in her own lap. No temptations.
Beca, however, had apparently noticed the lack of handholding because it only took a few minutes for her to give a large and overly dramatic sigh. Chloe saw Beca's hand move out of the corner of her eye, not atop of Chloe's but just beside it, her pinkie brushing up against Chloe's pinkie. The best part about Beca when she drank was that it took away Beca's inner chatter, letting her be exactly who she wanted to be without discomfort. Slowly Beca's hand crept barely moving until, with a sigh of relief as though she had gotten away with something, Beca clasped Chloe's hand in her own with a tight squeeze.
It was like a junior high boy reaching over to hold their dates hand for the first time in some darkened movie theater. It was so sweet, so innocent that it made Chloe's heart want to burst open. Beca had stopped blinking as her hand had been moving. She had very obviously lost the ability to watch the show and be sneaky because her eyes had glossed over. It had been so… so… so cute. Chloe squeezed Beca's hand back and continued watching, a smile on her lips.
It was hard not to follow her usual pattern. When Beca scooted in a little closer Chloe had cleared her throat, a little worried. Maybe she should pretend to not feel well and get Beca off of her bed but this was her Beca time! She didn't want to lose it. And Beca was being so sweet, and it felt so good to have Beca there with her.
Slowly as she lost interest in the show, Beca started to push. Her fingers traced the freckles on Chloe's arm and she sighed, nuzzling a little deeper into her shoulder.
Chloe felt all of this with a bristled stiffness and tried to ignore it. Her eyes closed. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to ignore Beca when she wanted attention.
Beca's hand slipped out of Chloe's and onto her inner thigh. Chloe swallowed thickly and pretended she hadn't felt it.
Finally, Beca grew impatient. She turned a little, her face going deeper into Chloe's neck until Chloe felt Beca's thin lips press lightly into the skin under her jaw.
She gave a wobbly exhale.
Normally they would have been horizontal long before now. It was only sheer will keeping Chloe from allowing it to happen.
She didn't know what to do. She wanted to kiss Beca. She really did, but if she did then it would hurt, and if it hurt then her secret was no longer secret.
Emboldened by Chloe's lack of response Beca leaned in and caught the very tip of Chloe's ear with her teeth. The thrill of it sent a shock through Chloe's entire body.
She had to say something. Maybe she would just tell her and Beca would be cool with just letting her flag fly.
The thought was mortifying.
Beca sighed, the warm air brushing against Chloe's ear and she was melting. When Beca reached forward and with one finger pulled Chloe's chin around so she could kiss her, Chloe answered with a fire that made Beca squeak and then moan.
What could she do? She was human. And Beca's lips tasted so good. She leaned into her, pulling Beca in by the small of the back.
There was almost no time between their lips meeting and when Chloe was on her back with Beca over her. A very distant part of her mind was panicked. She knew there was no way that she could remain calm, not with the fury that Beca's tongue was gliding along hers, not when her hands were already hovering over Chloe's hips. Beca was so into it and that was Chloe's undoing at all times.
She didn't know what to do. She thought of things that weren't this… their last ICCA competitors, the fact that her favorite socks almost had a hole and where she could replace them, the characters on the show.
"I was thinking about this all night," Beca muttered, her teeth graving Chloe collarbone.
"Ohmygod," she gasped all in one. Chloe bit her lip, feeling herself stirring. Maybe it could be fine. Maybe she could do this. She tried hard not to focus on the manic way Beca was sighing, the way her hands were balled into Chloe's shirt. Instead, she thought about the workout routine she had recently started, what she wanted to make for breakfast. It helped. She hated it, hated holding back like this, but it was working.
Beca, it seemed, could feel her holding back as well as it was frustrating her. She pulled Chloe's shirt collar down an inch, her fingers tracing the skin, she kissed into her cleavage, just past the point of appropriate. Still, when Chloe wasn't a trembling mess like always Beca seemed to push it even further. Looking for the response she knew, her hands slid up Chloe's sides and cupped Chloe's breast, her teeth nipping hard at her skin.
"Oh god." Chloe moaned as Beca's thumb found her hardening nipple. She was going to have to stop but Beca's mouth had dropped, her lips pulling on the nipple through the fabric and Chloe didn't want to stop, she wanted her shirt gone. Beca had never done with before. There had been touching, but her mouth... that was new.
Chloe clutched at Beca's head, her back arched against Beca's mouth, trying to focus on unimportant things as her hips began to rock. Beca ground down on her hard.
Chloe's eyes popped open in shock. "Oh god." The orgasm she had earlier hadn't exactly felt better or worse than her normal orgasms. It had been good, but they were almost always good. This… but this… grinding against Beca's hip and thigh when her genitalia was suddenly on the outside, that was different. That was earth-shatteringly delightful. That was - She felt Beca's teeth slightly bite her and she cried out. "Beca, I'm about to have-" she cut herself off the with a gasp, feeling herself growing very hard and very fast. All of her mental control collapsed.
"What? Really?" Beca pulled back, her face surprised but pleased, thinking Chloe had been announcing an imminent orgasm. Chloe noted with delighted horror that her hands didn't stop caressing.
"No, no, no, no!" Chloe cried to herself. "Oh no, I'm about to have a problem!"
"What?"
It hit like a sledgehammer to the groin. She cried out, unsure if she could move. She felt like the skin was stretching, going from soft to hard too fast, she felt like her jeans were going to explode under the pressure, like the skin was ripping open to accommodate the sudden erection. She could feel each and every stitch in the jeans and they felt as hard as rock. "FUCK!" She pushed Beca off and rolled to her side, her hands clamping down on the sheets.
"Chloe? What the fuck? Chlo?"
She was gritting her teeth, willing it to stop. Too fast! It had come on too fast! She hadn't had time to get to the bathroom, hadn't had time to do anything. She should have cancelled their movie plans! She shouldn't have let Beca into her room!
This was so silly! Was it supposed to be like this?
"Okay, this is twice today!" Beca cried.
Chloe didn't answer.
"Chloe!"
She still didn't answer.
"That's it! I'm calling someone. I dunno, an ambulance or something." She felt Beca's hand on her forehead for a second, giving it a soft caress before she disappeared.
Chloe reached for her, panicked at the idea of Beca doing anything like that. "No, don't call!" She dryly sobbed out. "Don't call, just help me up."
She didn't have to see Beca's look of incredulity to know it was there. "I don't think you should be getting up. You look like you're dying."
"It's my pants." She gasped out. "It's my pants and…" she stopped. She couldn't exactly explain that she had gone from soft to fully hard in a matter of moments. "Please, help me up." She wanted to get to the bathroom. If she got to the bathroom then she could do the whole six to midnight thing and maybe it would help.
"Bec." She reached out and pulled Beca back down beside her. She just had to say it. She had to tell her. And she had to get her pants off. "Bec. I have an erection." The words had just tumbled out before she had been able to think about them. She gasped a little at herself and humiliated, she buried her face in her bed. "And my pants are too tight."
Beca laughed, probably thinking she was teasing. "Yeah, okay, I'm gonna go set Stacie. She'll probably know exactly what to do with that."
"Bec, I'm serious. Please. Help me up. I need to take these jeans off."
"Seriously, Chloe. What's going on?"
"I promise, I'm telling you the truth."
"Okay, Chloe, you don't have a dick. Okay? I'm sure of that."
Perhaps it was the pain that was making her mind stupid but in her frustration she grabbed Beca's hand and placed it over the proper spot in her jeans. She hadn't thought that through though. She was used to having her sex organs on the inside, where touching there wouldn't have been a big deal. The moment Beca's hand pressed she let out a loud, breathy moan. She wanted so much more of that and also so much less. She was pretty sure the problem was that an erect penis wasn't supposed to bend the way it was, caught stretched across her hip against her in the overly small space.
"The fuck?" Beca ripped her hand away, holding it against her like it had been burned. "Dude! What is that?"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to get like this! You were just kissing me and touching me and… ow."
"Dude." Beca cried. "Dude. I don't understand what's happening." Her eyes were wide as she stared at Chloe. She turned, almost as if she were angry, almost as if she felt like Chloe was teasing her.
Chloe's hand shot out, grabbing Beca before she could retreat. "Bec, if you run away now I'm going to feel like the world's biggest freak." Beca just blinked at her, the look of anger fading. "Please don't go. Let me explain."
A flash of hurt crossed Beca's face. "I wasn't going anywhere," she mumbled.
Chloe frowned, her heart beating happily for a moment. "I'm sorry. I thought…" she let the sentence fall.
"Are you wearing a – a-" Beca's eye twitched a little, "a dildo or something?"
"No," Chloe groaned. She shifted a little and the pain lessened. She realized that she had been leaning on it a little.
"How do you have a dick?" Beca asked in a cool monotone that told Chloe she still didn't believe her.
Chloe paused. "I'm going to sound crazy."
"That's not an answer."
"Will you sit down?" Chloe asked, feeling sensitive in more than one way. She supposed she should have known that the evening would go this way. She had been fooling herself a little bit.
She started explaining before Beca had even fully sat down.
Beca stared, her eyes wide but listening.
When Chloe was done with the weird story that had been her recent life, she leaned back against the wall, thankful that the pain was receding. It still hurt worse than it had that afternoon. She had more online research to do.
Beca was silent as Chloe thought, debating with herself about what exactly to do next.
"Can I see it?"
"What?" Chloe's head whipped around, eyes popped wide. She had not expected that to be the first thing that Beca said after she explained. Not at all. "You want to me my... this? Is it because you don't believe me that it's there? Because I promise, it's really there.''
"I mean," Beca pushed some fallen hair back behind her ear, her eyes avoiding Chloe, "not because I want to see it-see it, but because, I don't know, you're Chloe with a penis! I'm not totally sure that you're not messing with me."
"I'm not."
"Okaaay." Beca frowned. Her eyes were wide and very blue and in them Chloe could see a lot of things at once. "But like… I dunno, Chlo, it's weird. How is that even possible?"
"Are you making excuses for wanting to see it?"
"What? No! I just – ugh, never mind."
"You want to see it."
"I mean," Beca's eyes flicked to her and back down at the bed, "I guess."
"Beca!"
"Chloe!"
Chloe scowled, feeling strange. Why was a request to see it the first thing that happened twice now? Then again, she supposed if Beca woke up with one of these then that would have been Chloe's first request too.
She wasn't going to show it to Beca, she decided, not like she did Stacie. She leaned back a little, her back resting against the wall, and unbuttoned her jeans. It was hard to work the jeans down enough that the top of the bulge through her panties was showing. She had to reach down and press it down, which hurt, but eventually got the zipper down. Her teeth gnawed on her lip, her eyes watered as she waited for Beca to speak. She couldn't look up so instead she just stared across the room, waiting.
"And you didn't always have a dick and just didn't tell me?" Beca asked, awe in her voice.
"Oh my god, Beca! Don't call it that!" Chloe cried her head snapping around to glare at Beca. "It's my temporary appendage and no! Beca, you've seen me naked!"
"True, true." Beca was still staring, her eyes glued.
Embarrassed Chloe looked down too and realized that the bulge had pulled down her panties a little showing some wisps of gingery curls and the very base of her appendage where it connected to her stomach.
She cleared her throat and pulled the jeans back up, unhappy to do so.
The room was silent for a few seconds. Chloe wasn't sure what to say next. She still needed to get her jeans off.
"That looks uncomfortable."
"It is!" She cried. "Girl jeans weren't made for this!"
Beca was silent a long time again and in the silence Chloe wasn't sure if she should laugh or cry.
This was weird. She knew it was weird. Beca usually went running even before she had this thing. Beca was going to run, she knew it. Beca had put her mouth on her breast tonight and now this. Beca was going to run. She waited for it, for Beca to move, to make an excuse, to dive for the door. It was torture as the seconds ticked by.
Finally, she couldn't take the stiff silence anymore. She pushed herself up and grabbed her pajama pants. Once in the bathroom she did everything she could, except that one main thing, to make it go down fully. She snapped a rubber hand on her wrist, she raised her face in cold water, she removed her jeans and underwear so there could be no friction.
It didn't work, none of it. It wasn't until she thought about the fact that her bedroom was probably going to be empty when she left the bathroom that it finally went down. The thought of that, of the place where Beca had been sitting going cool, it made her eyes water again.
She waited another minute before pulling her pajamas on.
She felt tears burning in her eyes as she left the bathroom, ready for the heartbreak of her best friend having run off again.
But Beca wasn't gone. She was in the exact same place, at the far end of her bed, leaning back against the wall and looking thoughtful.
Chloe looked at her beautiful, thoughtful face and burst into tears.
Beca jumped, shocked as if Chloe had sprouted another penis, this one in the middle of her forehead.
"Wha – what the hell just happened?" Beca cried.
"I'm a freak!"
"What? No, you're not!"
"How can you say that, Beca?" She wailed, feeling foolish and yet like she had every right to her tears.
"You're just…" Beca's eyes darted as she looked for the right words. "Going through some… stuff."
It almost made Chloe laugh.
"Come here."
She sat down and let Beca pull her into a hug.
"So you got it, errm, right after I said… that thing, huh?" Beca asked in a small voice once Chloe's tears had slowed.
Chloe gave a wet chuckle. "Yeah."
"And none of the other girls…?"
"No. Stacie seemed mad that she didn't get one too."
Beca's head fell back against the wall she was leaning on with a huge eye roll. "Of course she was!" But she was laughing with Chloe now.
It was nice, Chloe thought. She thought that this probably wouldn't happen once the pain had started. She had thought the night ruined. But this… it was nice.
"So." Beca smiled a little and looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "Have you done anything fun with it?"
Chloe's jaw dropped. "Beca Mitchell, are you asking me if I've had sex with anyone?" She cried, loving the way Beca instantly went red.
"What? No! I didn't… no! I just meant, ugh! Why do you do these things to me!"
Chloe smirked and, quickly before she could be stopped, gave Beca's cheek a quick peck. "Because it's easy."
Beca scoffed.
"I masturbated today." Chloe offered.
Beca's eyes blew wide, her head shaking a little bit. "Whoa."
"Well, you asked about fun."
Beca nodded a little as if to say yeah, I guess I did do that. Beca's eyes flashed to her, to the spot in her pants where a bulge would be, and back twice. Chloe watched, her tears forgotten, replaced by sassy amusement.
"You know what else I did?"
Beca looked at her like she was sure she didn't want to know so Chloe went on telling her all about peeing standing up and bouncing it like it was a basketball and by the end Beca was on her side, huddled into herself to try and control her laughter.
"That didn't hurt?"
"No!" Chloe giggled. "It bounces all the time anyway. I was just kind of-" she gave a few hip bounces as if she were twerking. "And it danced."
"Oh my god."
"I also went like this." She shook her hips a little, this time side to side.
Big owl eyes stared at her from behind her hands. "Ohmygod, this is so weird." She finally said, pushing herself up. "I mean like…"
"I know,"
"So…"
Chloe watched Beca with interest and she sat back up and leaned against the wall. She was getting all squirmy again which meant that Beca had something major to ask.
"Does it look like all other…" she huffed, blowing out a breath that puffed her cheeks. "I mean- I dunno, does it look weird?"
Chloe considered that. "I don't know. It's hard to say because it's on me which makes it automatically weird."
"Okay yeah, but-"
"I guess it looks like the guy's that I've been with tough."
"Errr…"
"Stacie says it pretty."
The look on Beca's face was suddenly very strange. "Okay, what?" She gave a halted laugh that somehow didn't quite work and instead of sounding normal, pointed out the awkwardness. "Stacie has seen it? No way! Whip it out, Beale, there's no way Stacie is going to know something about you that I don't."
It made Chloe laugh but it also made Chloe's chest warm. "Nu-uh!"
"Come on!" Beca playfully pulled on the waist of Chloe's jeans. Not hard enough to move them, but enough to make her point. "Whip it out!"
Chloe shrieked and held them tight, bellowing "no, no, no!"
Beca dived across her, pinning her to the bed as she tickled and pretended to yank the pants off, making Chloe's shrieks grow louder. She hated being tickled, but at this moment she loved it.
"Whip it out, Beale!" Beca cried. "Come on, aren't you supposed to be trying to get women to say that now that you have one?"
Chloe gave a mocking gasp. "I am not a guy, Beca!" She wasn't going to point out exactly how much Beca's insistence made her want to 'whip it out' with a very specific purpose in mind.
"HEY! FUCK HER QUIETER, I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!" Stacie's voice yelled from the next room over.
Both froze.
"Oooo," Beca hissed, her eyes wide again. "Did she just say-"
"No way!" Chloe jumped, giving a shrug. "She's just drunk."
Beca gave an unconvinced huff and fell, her falling into Chloe's neck, blowing warm air across her skin and – Chloe froze. Were Beca's hands still in her lap? Were they - yes, they were! They were still on the waist of her pajama pants, in fact they were pressed… cupped, almost grasped, and oh god.
"Oh no, Beca!" She cried. There would be no hiding it now that she was in pajamas.
"What's wrong?"
"Your hands!" She wailed, waiting, knowing it was coming. "It's going to make me… I'm going to get…"
"Oh!" Beca's hands flew away from the spot where they had been pressed into her. "Errr, here!"
Chloe yelped as suddenly Beca was yanking on the tender part of her ear.
"OW! Ow, ow, ow! Beca!"
"Sorry!" Beca shot back, her nose scrunched in the cutest way. "That's what Jesse used to do."
"Oh." She wanted to frown. She didn't want to hear about Beca talk about Jesse's penis, but hey, it had worked.
"Sorry, did that hurt? Well," Beca's eyes rolled, "I guess that's the point, but you know what I mean."
Chloe smiled a little.
"What?"
"You're cute."
That seemed to surprise a smile out of Beca.
"Whatever. You didn't distract me. What exactly does a magic peni – I mean a temporary appendage actually look like?"
Chloe studied Beca. She was doing it again. Her voice had been full of vibrato, but her face, she wasn't looking at her. She was blushing, twitching in place a little.
She wants to see it, Chloe realized. She wanted to, but, why? Was it really just so Stacie wouldn't have one up on her? Or was it… heat flooded her, making it twitch in place.
Chloe squirmed a little. It was… this was kind of sexy. "I think Stacie was right. It is pretty. It's smooth when it's… you know. I don't know, Bec," Chloe said through a small smile. "The skin is the same shade as the skin here." She lifted up her shirt and gently touched the skin of her lower belly. Beca's face was pink as she played with the hem of her own pants. Still, her eyes glanced quickly over and back. "And the head is the same shade of pink as my nipples."
Beca's eyes rolled up to the ceiling, her pink face going red. "Uh huh."
"Is that… are those the colors you were before?"
A bolt shot straight through her stomach. She could have moaned at the question. Beca really had no idea how sexy she was. "Bec." She said in a soft purr that made all of the red drain out of Beca's face at once. "If you wanted to see me before, you could have."
Beca froze. Her mouth opened… closed… opened… closed. She looked more like a fish than a woman.
Chloe ignored that and went on. "You still can. I know I'm different, but if you wanted… more, you could have it."
Beca's breath came out in a thin whine as it slowly released.
Chloe just waited, feeling herself half stiff already, her heart beating hard in her chest. Had Beca wanted more? She wasn't sure that made any sense. Beca had always run, but right now… She wondered what Beca would do if she leaned over and kissed her throat.
Before she could Beca let out another fast breath and rolled her eyes. "Okay, whatever." She leaned over and pulled off her pants to sleep in her tee shirt and jeans like normal. "Let's just go to bed, you freak."
Chloe grinned, amused. The red had not left Beca's face.
"I don't know, Becs, it seems like you really want to see it."
Beca retaliated by throwing a pillow into her face.
Chloe yelped and hit her with it.
They crawled under the sheet, Beca sighing with comfort.
The sound made Chloe want to laugh and yell and cheer. Beca sounded so comfortable and relaxed. That was a huge achievement on any day, but an even bigger one after the talk they had just had.
She wondered idly if she should refuse to let Beca sleep, if she should push and see if Beca really did want more. She wondered idly if she could lean over and kiss her again. After all, Beca knew now.
She settled instead for giving Beca's shoulder a bite.
Beca gasped, her hand shooting to push Chloe's teeth away. "Jerk."
Chloe giggled and rolled onto her back. She was thankful, for once, for the roomy bed. The little moan and gasp Beca had just done… the fact that she was in her bed… Chloe made a little bit of a guilty face and glanced over at Beca.
She had just clicked the light off and seemed completely unaware of Chloe.
That was okay.
Chloe scooted her pants down a little and then gently moved herself so she could tuck the newly arisen erection securely into the waistband of her pants.
That was okay. Maybe it was okay that she was like this, aroused and hard. After all, Beca had wanted to see it.
"Night, Becs," she sighed, tucked her face against Beca's shoulder blades. Beca shifted a little, pressing against Chloe. If she noticed Chloe's state, she didn't mention it. Chloe bit her lip and wrapped an arm around her waist. Without much fuss, she fell asleep.