Title: It's Electric
Author: flannelninja
Summary: Meet Eric Cartman, local mad scientist in the small village of South Park. Meet his lab hand Wendy, his henchman Kenny, and his attractive French maid, Bebe. Finally, meet his terrifying, horrifying creation: Butters Scotch.
A/N: Thanks for reading. If you exist, please review. Like, come on. Please. Just show me you're alive!
Pairings: Candy, Style,Kyman, Cutters, Bunny, Kebe, Creek(italics are the ones in this chapter)
Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. Respect to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
Chapter 4- Serious Lessons
Cartman and Wendy stared Butters down as he devoured his breakfast at the dining table. Cartman had realized late last night, during another hour of restless sleep that he was trying to teach a student his student manners and common sense without even having prodded the waters! That is to say, he had never given him a pre-test. So on that sunny Tuesday morning, they told Butters he could have the run of the house, as long as he agreed to be followed.
The eager to please Butters did at once, and then they led him to the dining table at which they stood now to start the first "test."
"Eat, fag," ordered his Master.
Butters did, now hurrying under the pressure.
"As slowly as you want, Butters," Wendy cooed. "We want to see how he eats naturally, Fatass," she whispered harshly under her breath to the scientist.
He rolled his eyes, and began to mark things down on his clipboard. They had laid out all the proper eating utensils in the right order… but he didn't seem to be using any of them to eat the soup. He was somehow managing to drip it into his mouth using his hands. It was slightly impressive. Butters finished eating and looked up to the two with a blank stare.
"Mom! Mommmmm!" Lianne finally made her way out from the kitchen. "Bring out Course Number two, Mom." Lianne had finally returned in the past two days, with a vengeance. She told almost no one of her grand adventure… but she was cooking and cleaning like she never had before. She was two hundred percent more efficient, Cartman noted. She could definitely be relied on in the future.
Secretly, Wendy had asked Lianne where she had disappeared to. She only stated that she was visiting her "Poopsikin's" Father. She assumed she meant his grave.
Lianne popped back into the kitchen and brought out another tray of food, this time, something messier: a hamburger.
"I dunno… Mom says I'm not allowed to have hamburgers for breakfast or I'll get grounded…" Butters said. Cartman was shocked. Had he retained his memories?
"I'm your Mother now, Butters. And I say shut the fuck up and eat." Butters did as he was told, replying with a mouth full of food.
"How can you be my Mother if you're a boy?" He giggled, spitting food out unto his plate.
"Fine, Wendy's your Mother, and I'm your Dad." The girl blushed.
"I don't have a Dad. He died…" The boy explained. "The oven, remember?"
How could Eric forget? That same incident killed his Father… Wendy reached out to him and held his hand, noticing the sadness in his eyes. His looked up, feeling her hand in his own. He squeezed her hand tightly. He needed to try something.
"How did you die Butters?"
"I dunno. I was just turning off the oven… and then all I remember is black and then meeting you." Butters looked down at his Burger. "I miss my Mommy and Daddy!" He began to sob.
Wendy rushed to the boy, leaving Cartman's hand behind. He flexed it a bit, still feeling the warmth. "There, there." Wendy cooed, uttering the nonsense words as sincerely as possible. God, Cartman thought to himself, The Stotchs' had bad fucking luck when it came to kitchen appliances…
O-O-O
Kenny passed by the boy's room again. Lately he and Bebe had nothing to do but hump each other in to the walls. As much as the boy loved sex, he was honestly getting tired of her buxom breasts, her vivacious hips, her beautiful golden locks… Nah, he shook his head. He'd never get tired of his favorite "French" Maid.
He wasn't quite sure why Cartman called her that, she wasn't at all—
A sob from Butters' room came to his attention, interrupting his thoughts about his long time friend and employer. It was girlish and small, and he could barely hear it, but still, it was there. He was obviously trying to stifle his sad moans. Cartman and Wendy had to have let him off early today, usually their lessons ended way later in the day.
The henchman crept towards the door, if only to check on the boy for a second. The door creaked open. "Damn it," he whispered to himself. The boy turned from his face-down position on the bed to face the man who had just intruded on him. He wiped his tears quickly and hugged his pillow around his middle.
"Y-You're the one who makes all those noises next door…" Butters stuttered, trying desperately to get his words out.
Kenny hoped to god that wasn't why the poor boy was crying. Were they really that loud? "Yeah, I guess that's me." He smiled.
"And that lady, too," Butters frowned.
"Yeah, ain't she just a peach?" He smirked proudly. He was proud to be getting some of her fine ass.
A light bulb suddenly went off in the poor boy's head. If Cartman wouldn't tell him what the all mysterious sex was… he could just ask the noise-maker himself! "What is sex?" He asked bluntly, sitting up straight. The tears in his eyes had now dried.
Kenny stared at the boy, eyes unblinking. Was he serious? Or had Kenny really accidentally given the scientist the brain of a nine-year old boy? He looked deep into the boy's eyes, and found sincerity. He really was a little boy. He didn't look it though… especially not from the view he had gotten the other day—
Stop it, Kenny, he's basically a little boy!
He shook his head. "Well, you see… you know the junk you have down there?" Butters nodded. "You bounce it into a girl's junk… and then before you know it, you're having sex!" Butters looked at him quizzically.
"Girls have 'junk'," He used Kenny's word, "Like mine?"
"No, they have a different kind of junk. You'll see it when you're older. It's hot, trust me." And with that, Kenny closed the door, happy to have done a good deed, and ready to get into some hot junk.