Disclaimer: No infringement of copyright is intended. All characters originated with JKR.

A/N: A huge vote of thanks to both my wonderfully faithful reviewers, notesofwimsey and .Miss.H.Granger. Your support and notes are a godsend.

Chapter 4

Letting Go

Hermione leaned on Ginny as they walked up the stairs. Her physical presence made things easier. Feeling the other girls' hands on her arm, on her back, helping her up the stairs made her feel better. However, as much as she felt better, she felt worse that she might lose this. If things kept getting complicated, if they kept getting lost, it would be better to end things, wouldn't it?

The mere thought redoubled her tears. How could she even consider doing that to her friend? Ginny had given her everything, and Hermione had selfishly, perhaps, grasped every last piece Ginny was willing to hand over. Hermione needed Ginny; she knew that. She wished she didn't, but there it was.

Ginny carried her sobbing friend up the stairs, sitting her carefully down on the bed, and kneeling on the floor to take off the other girls' shoes. Almost as an afterthought, she pulled off Hermione's socks, too. She knew the older girl hated to sleep in her socks.

"Hermione?" Ginny's fingers smoothed her hair, gently moving the tangled curls behind her ears. "Hermione, sweetheart, talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I don't… I don't know, Gin. I don't know." Ginny, realizing a lost battle, unbuttoned Hermione's cardigan, folding it carefully at the end of the bed, loosing her necktie and placing it on top of the jumper. Then she sat at the head of the bed, reached out and pulled the older girl into her arms.

"Shhh. Hush, its okay. Everything will be okay." Tenderly, she rocked her friend in her arms until she'd cried herself to sleep. Smiling against her charges' hair, Ginny reached down slowly and gathered the comforter in her hands, pulling it up around Hermione's chin. Settling back more comfortably against the wall, she drifted off, ignoring the tears streaking down her own cheeks.

Hermione woke up hot. That was the problem with crying yourself to sleep against someone's chest. That was the problem with sleeping with Ginny- they were both hot sleepers, and yet they slept too close together to fix much of that.

She sat up slowly, trying not to disturb Ginny.

"Where are you going?" Ginny's sleepy whisper seemed to echo in Hermione's ears. "Oooh, my shoulders."

"Just to wash my face and put on some pajamas, Gin. I'll be right back. Go back to sleep." Ginny nodded sleepily, curled up in the warm space left by Hermione's body and promptly fell back to sleep. Hermione watched her for a moment, smiling fondly at how Ginny hiked the covers up around her neck and curled into a ball, taking up maybe a quarter of the bed. She cast a quick look at the alarm clock. Three a.m. Oh dear. No wonder Ginny had felt pain in her shoulders; she'd been sleeping against the wall for at least four hours. Hermione wasn't sure what time she'd fallen asleep, but she knew she'd been discovered on the stairs just after ten. She shrugged; she'd find a way to make it up to her. Reaching down, she smoothed Ginny's hair off her forehead and then quickly walked down the hall to the washroom.

Hermione sat on the lid of the toilet for probably fifteen minutes before she even started to think about what had brought her there in the first place. She had to find a way to talk to Ginny about this whole… misconception. She just didn't know how to do it. The concept of the two of them in a romantic relationship was so far out of her comfort zone she didn't know how to think around it, let alone talk about it. Maybe it was best to simply wait until the summer started. They'd have at least couple of weeks apart, maybe things would clear up on their own. She shook her head, dropping her face into her hands. That was never going to work, and she knew it.

She sighed, standing up and walking over to the sink. She washed her face in cold water, hoping to bring down the swelling around her eyes a little bit, then in hot water, hoping to warm up. Brushing her teeth took only another second, and then she skulked back into the dorm. She grabbed her pajamas and slipped into them quickly, leaving her clothes on the floor, and crawled back into bed with Ginny.

Ginny immediately woke up and made room for her friend. Hermione smiled, then reached out and pulled Ginny close. She lay awake for a time, feeling the smaller girls' body conform to her own, letting Ginny's breathing calm and relax her. By the time she'd fallen asleep, she'd made up her mind.

She wasn't giving this up. No matter how many people questioned her. She loved Ginny and that was that.

Ginny stumbled through nightmares. She was walking along a busy street, through Hogwarts corridors, in the field behind the Burrow with Hermione, they were talking, and suddenly Hermione was nowhere to be found. Ginny dashed through the streets, calling her name over and over again until her voice was hoarse. She woke, stirred fitfully, and realized Hermione's arms were around her.

She relived the nightmare more than once. It was as familiar to her as her own name. She had been having these nightmares for months now. She never told Hermione that's why she woke up during the night. She told herself it was because she didn't want to worry the older girl.

The real reason was she didn't want to lose her like she'd lost her so many times every night. Didn't want to lose the amazingly clever and wonderful person who she might just be feeling a little more than friendship for. And that scared her more than anything else.

"I love you, Hermione," she whispered as soundlessly as possible, trying out the words. "I love you."

A/N 2: "My" Hermione, Ginny, and the other characters in this story wear the uniforms chosen by the costuming department in the fourth installment of the Warner Bros. movies. Just something random I thought I'd throw in there, in case any of you reading were curious.