More than a month, my bad. Apologies all around, but I hope you guys like this next part. Good news is I've actually written the entire part of the Christmas party (guess you'll havge to read to find out what I'm talking about ;)...Thanks to those who've reviewed though, it helps motivate a person.
The soft click of the door seemed to echo in the small, dark hospital room. Pansy stared tiredly into the blackness around her before she moved as if in a trance to the door. Her hand was already on the knob when she realized that she was being ridiculous. For once in her life she had stood up and told Draco off, she had been the one to dismiss him, how many times in her life had the opportunity presented itself? How many times had it slapped her in the face and made her walk away with her tail in between her legs? Why would she want to apologize to him for it? I don't and I'm not going to.
Squaring her shoulders to the invisible demon of regret she opened the door and was prepared to tackle the demon in the form of Blaise Zabini, she could sense he was on the other side (she had teased many times that it was the horrid smell of his socks, but really she had heard his quiet grumblings), and she was going to insist on leaving the bloody hospital, over my dead body will I stay here voluntarily.
Upon opening the door, Pansy had braced herself to be pushed back into the room, to be made to stay by force, but Blaise gave her a quick once over and then gave a her a look that clearly conveyed you win this ONE time, then he proceeded to link her arm through his as they apperated on the spot.
Harry Potter was left standing in the hospital in a state of disbelief, Slytherins are so ….temperamental! One minute they're at each other's throats and the next they're back to looking out for each other like no other or defending the person's honor which they just finished attacking. Harry reached into the pockets of his muggle jeans and giving a minor headshake he too disappeared.
Number 12 of Grimmauld was alive with another night of before bed chatter. Who knew how long this time of togetherness would last? Already new assignments were being posted but the earliest one that would last more than 3 days would not take off till the 13th of December, at least everyone knew they had a few precious weeks before the chaos resumed. When Pansy and Blaise had landed in the spot designated for apparitions they were met with an empty courtyard. Apparently the mass of people that had gathered after their departure didn't harbor anything for them, it was nothing but a light curiosity for the issue at hand and since then they'd found other things to busy themselves with.
The two of them had no awkward run ins as they made their way upstairs and after Pansy fought another mini-battle with Blaise she was finally able to retreat to the quiet of her room, by herself.
She threw on a navy blue sweater to help keep the little warmth her body produced stay around her and after casting a locking charm on her door Pansy went to the untouched bags, still shrunken in her tan coat pocket, and began to unpack them. There was some of the dirty laundry that she hadn't bothered with, and the books that kept her sane during dusk; when the warm and bright sun (her only companion when she was out in the wild) sunk beneath the horizon to go greet the other side of the world. A pile of things started on Pansy's bed and once all her bags were clear Pansy actually felt glad to see the chaotic mess in the midst of her room.
After another hour of shuffling around her belongings and separating the things that needed to be cleaned or washed Pansy sank down onto the ground and did the last thing she wanted to do; she fell into her memories and started to re-watch her own life from a third person's point of view. She'd always been such a cold and ferocious person, one that was frigid ice on the outside and on the inside. But she wasn't always like that. Believe it or not, Pansy was like most girls, she liked cute things, she had a sweet tooth, she cared about what people thought of her, and she also had a special crush on that one boy.
The difference between her and most girls was the fact that most girls could act like most girls and get through the day. Pansy couldn't. From the beginning of her life she'd been bred to be the best. Or at least stomp on those that are better than you. She grew up in a tight knit family but love was scarce. Her mother had never fully matured, or so it seemed, she had been kind and there but she was never mother material. Her father treated her like a project, he was always asking about her progress in this or that. They fawned over her, that was for sure, but they had their own reasons for doting on her, they each wanted something from her; her mother wanted a doll to make pretty, and her father, a complete piece of work he could show off and display.
So since she was young, she had to learn how to give a lot and take back a little and to stay in the zone of the majority. Give enough effort to please those around her so that they might show her a little affection in return. That was how it was, until she came to Hogwarts. This had even worked with Draco, if she gave him a bit of patience, if she fanned his ego a bit; he would open up to her. As for the majority, she'd grown up a tight circle of people, they were all purebloods so that's who she associated herself with and she found that if she kept up with all that they expected of her then everything was fine. Because then, everyone she knew was of the same level, everyone was similar, everyone was everyone.
But at Hogwarts, from the minute she was sorted into Slytherin, a choice she made, a choice she did not regret, but just from the moment she was drawn out of the whole and thrown into a minority; she learned one shouldn't give anything, for when one does, people think that it's alright to take more.
An eleven year old Pansy was sitting in a dimly lit corner of the library with her head on a charms text book, dozing the night away. It was an exceptionally loud giggle from the shelves next to her that woke her up. Upon waking and discovering that she was out past curfew and that she wasn't the only one Pansy quickly gathered her wits and her things with only one though: Gotta get out….can't get caught…gotta get out…
"Dev! Stop it, your hands are so cold!" the girl's protests couldn't sound anymore fake, considering the fact that they were followed by a chorus of shrill giggles.
Pansy flushed and she quickly gathered her things, she didn't know the details of what was going on in the shelves but she knew enough that the noises she was hearing wasn't two people studying. She shoved the heavy textbooks in her bag haphazardly, not caring that they were crumpling the Charms essay she had spent so long on. At last, everything she needed to take was in her bag, a few spare quills were still scattered on the table but she could care less. Heaving the monstrous bag onto her left shoulder Pansy began to scuttle away but her foot caught the leg of the chair she hadn't bothered to push in and she lost her footing. Her book bag swung off her arm, hitting the chair with a thump and making her gasp at the pain it caused her as it dragged her arm down.
Things happened real fast after that, just like they always do. The soft murmurs and erratic breaths that filled the quiet air moments ago was replaced by total silence and suddenly, Pansy found herself being looked down on by two much older and much bigger students.
Pansy's lower lip trembled but her voice was coldly confident as she asked them to move out of her way.
The boy, a Ravenclaw from the colors of the loosened tie still around his neck, chuckled and lifted a hand to grasp her chin, tilting her face up to the sliver of moonlight slanting in from the high windows. "So little, yet so old. What are you doing in here by yourself? Were you enjoying the show little girl?" His suggested tone of voice weaved its way to Pansy's inside and paralyzed her with a sense of dread, she had to get away.
The girl standing at his side gave a pout and grasped the arm he was using to hold Pansy's chin, "What are you doing Devon? She's younger than your youngest sister and not at all attractive!"
"Kinsey, God, you can't honestly be jealous." He turned and threw her a roguish wink but despite that, he also took a step closer to Pansy, trapping her between the table and his body. And unknown to the Kinsey girl, Pansy caught an annoyed roll of his eyes when he saw that a sultry smile had returned to the older girl's face.
Kinsey took little comfort in his word, though she gave him a soft smile… and she wasn't actually jealous…at least not too much, but the young girl who was still staring defiantly at Devon was cute. She was young, but not in a childish way, she had an innocence to her, and while her features were somewhat angular, it worked; add that, her deep blue eyes and the fact that she wasn't cowering in the presence of Devon Mendhal together and.…if only she was older, she'd be the ideal girl.
"Now, what's your name sweet?"
"None of your business." was Pansy's terse reply. She tried to haul her heavy book bag up to her shoulder but the materials of her robes continued to make the strap slip.
Kinsey's eyes narrowed as she caught sight of the Slytherin House emblem on the young girl's robes, Slytherin girls were all whores, and no wonder, starting at an age so young…such despicable people. She marched up to Devon, her boyfriend, (who was starting to get a rush of feelings for the slightly trembling girl he was bearing down on) and firmly wedged herself in between them. "Devon, let's go, I'm tired now, come to bed."
Before he could say a word Kinsey had turned and was now facing Pansy, who was looking up at her in awe, but the older girl did not smile reassuringly, did not wink at her to let her know that girls here will always stick up for each other, instead, she reached out a manicured hand and gripped Pansy's forearm. In a whisper laced with hate she coldly said, "Back off you little Slytherin whore, or I will tear you inside out, knock you off your fucking pedestal, and make sure no guy will want you." Her nails dug into her arm and despite her sleeve being there Pansy could still fill the sharp, hot, sting.
Meanwhile, Devon backed a few steps away and watched the two girls from under his lashes, tonight was turning out to be pretty interesting, and who knew Kinsey, a girl who was the picture of seduction was so flawed? Seductress or not, the girl sure was damn clingy and…ferocious as well. He liked that, ferocious girls were always so much more fun. But the young one, the one who clearly hadn't heard of his reputation yet didn't fall at his feet, she looked him in the eye and silently challenged him; the fact that she looked real cute turned this experience into a real turn-on.
Pansy was flabbergasted; this older girl had helped her because she thought she was making a move on her boyfriend? "I'm eleven years old" Pansy wanted to tell her, but the grip on her arm was real intimidating and frightening.
Kinsey glowered down at Pansy and was becoming frustrated at the younger girl's lack of reaction. She should be quivering in her…very cute, very designerblack shoes.
"Kinsey, are you going to tear her arm off? If so, hurry up, I'm tired." Devon's indifferent drawl snapped her back from the jealousy rage she was on and after another menacing grip she let go and sashayed over to her boyfriend.
As Pansy breathed a small sigh of relief while watching the two of them walk away, hips bumping provocatively, Devon glanced back at her. Their eyes met and he shot her a wink and a soft smirk. Pansy, with shaken nerves, gathered her things and hurried away to the other entrance, promising herself that she'd never stay out past curfew again.
She was a turn and a corridor length away from the Slytherin Common room entrance when a cold hand covered her mouth, stifling her scream as an arm wound around her waist, pulling her into a broom closet a few yards back.
With no light in the broom closet, Pansy's fear only doubled, she hated the dark, absolutely loathed it. Her captor was still unknown; if it was a boy could she fight and get away? What if it was a girl?
A whispered Lumos and a second later the small room was bathed in a bright wand light. Pansy's eyes grew wide at the face now visible.
Kinsey had found a new hatred for that Slytherin whore when Devon had parted with her at the Ravenclaw staircase, refusing her offers to come into her room. He had said he was tired, beat and in no mood for fooling around, but when he had briefly hugged her goodnight she could feel the tell-tale bulge of his lies pressing against her stomach.
So he had refused her and had opted instead for what? A good wank? Fine by her, but the issue she wasn't fine with was who he would be fantasying about when he indulged in some self love. Kinsey knew that she was being unreasonable, but she'd had dreams about Devon since second year, they were meant to be! She had to beat out so many other girls, had to chase a bunch more from his bed, and she had to lie through the skin of her teeth to get with him. Despite knowing he was a player and a jerk, Kinsey was convinced she could be the one to change him. And she was not going to let this little child get in her way.
Pansy was already getting her foot in prime kicking position when the tip of the older girl's wand was shoved against her sternum.
"You little whore. You think I'll lose to you? Well, watch this."
The next thing Pansy experienced was frightening, the wand was dragged down her torso and in it's wake she felt a sharp pain and in the dark, as her hand fumbled to push the wand away, she could feel a slick substance trail after the wand. She screamed when she saw the redness of it on her pale fingers when she was finally able to bring it to her eyes.
Kinsey jumped at the pitch of Pansy's scream. She jerked away and dropped her wand in the dark closet, but at the moment she was too frightened of being caught to care. Wrenching the door open she ran out into the empty corridor, acutely aware of the sound of running footsteps coming from a ways away.
Pansy was now in tears. She was scared and hurting. What had she done to deserve this? She wasn't a whore, she had done nothing! The sound of footsteps was welcome and as they got louder she tried her best to cover her chest as she earnestly looked up at her rescuer.
Robert, Robbie Smitson was almost done with his rounds when he'd heard a scream. When he saw the closet door left ajar he slowed his steps and hesitantly approached it. Was he honestly supposed to deal with a lover's snog session gone wrong? There was a girl crying in the closet, that much was obvious, and what other reason could there be for a girl to be there if her boyfriend had not done something to upset her?
With a look up to the ceiling, Robbie cleared his throat and in his most neutral tone he called out to the girl, "What are you doing out past curfew?"
Pansy who had expected the Prefect to rush over to help her stared through the crack of the door and the doorframe at the boy who ran a hand tiredly through his hair as he reprimanded her. Had he not heard her scream?
With no response Robbie gave a sigh and he walked over towards the girl who he could hear sniffling in the closet. The first things he saw was a satchel full of books and a crumpled Charms essay. Next to it were the outer school robes and Robbie could clearly make out the green and silver emblem of the Slytherin House.
Instantly he put up his guard and all annoyance he'd felt before tripled itself. Maybe it was the fact that his 4 month girlfriend had openly admitted to cheating on him with a Slytherin 2 years older than she; or it could be that he could all of a sudden feel the long healed bruise of the bludger that a Slytherin had delivered to his abdomen during a practice session; it could've been either of those or one from an ongoing list, but whatever it was Robbie had already decided that the Slytherin girl in that closet was no different from any of the others that had hurt him.
"Look, please get yourself together and come with me. I have no choice but to report you for being past curfew. Honestly, if you're going to sneak out for a quickie then please have the decency to return to your dorms yourself. I thought Slytherins were good at that, sneaking and all."
The loathing was evident in his voice and Pansy bit on her lip to hold back the cry she wanted to let loose. Her chest hurt, she was cold and humiliated, and her rescuer was turning out to be just as bad as the two that had caused her to be here.
Robbie was taken back when he finally reached the shivering and shaking girl. Why, she was…a first year! What was she doing? Were Slytherin girls becoming like this so soon?! But as he took a closer look Robbie saw that she was shivering from the cold and was shaking from fear. Fear of him. He saw the way she clutched her light cardigan and white shirt to herself and at the top of her neck he could see the start of a long scar that was oozing blood.
"What happened? Are you alright? Who did this?"
Pansy saw the pity in his eyes and even at that age she did not want it and fought against it with the only weapon she had; indifference. She growled at him and glared as she pulled herself to her feet. In a manner as dignified as she could manage Pansy gathered her robes and put them on, after trying to pick up her book bag and failing, she opted instead to drag it behind her as she walked away, concentrating on keeping her hurt and fearful expression away and her head held high.
Robbie watched her go, feeling insulted and worried. She was so young and so defiant as well! Not that he'd admit it, but had she been from any other house, one who he did not bear such a grudge against he would've chased after her and insisted on her visiting the Hospital Wing. But this was just another blow to him; he saw the back of this young girl as one more hurt and one more insult. And Robbie himself had moved on from all that. This was his last year, and with a start like this he would make sure to avoid all Slytherin contact.
That night had been horrible. Pansy remembered she'd tried her best to keep quiet as she tended to herself back in the comforts of her bed. But how shaken her hands were that night. From the moment she boarded the Hogwarts express she had had thought of pleasant memories, many new friends, a dream like crush on some cute upperclassman, smiles and laughs, new knowledge….she'd had so many high expectations for school.
But now reality had set in, nothing in the world could be perfect like that, especially school. The place that was to be her solace, a place where she could really belong had turned out to be even worse than her real home. Here her best friend had become more distant than ever, people she thought she could befriend turn their backs on her because of the colors she wore and the values she'd been taught.
As Pansy slowly drifted back she couldn't believe how naïve she'd been back then. Did she honestly believe in all that? How fickle she was. How fickle you still are, still trying to hold on to Draco…he's gone, but you yourself won't admit that.
f
"So, if anyone wants to sign up to help with the decorations, there's a clipboard going around, just write your name and I'll find a time to that'll work for us all!"
Hermione Granger was standing on a low coffee table in the sitting room that had, again, been magicked to fit everyone. She was pointing at the clipboard that Ginny Weasley, who was standing below her on the right, was waving in the air.
Christmas was four days away and once it had been official that all the members wouldn't be able to return home safely to pass the holidays with their real families, Hermione, Ginny, and a few other woman members began to organize a Christmas party for all of them. The Christmas party that had started out small and simple escalated as they usually do. Now, sign up sheet were being passed around, arguments about dress code requirements were hourly, and everyone was silently stressing over the idea of gifts.
Pansy who found herself devoid of any holiday cheer was occupying a seat in the corner with a book in hand. Ever since she came back from the hospital the only company she bothered to keep was Blaise, books and surprisingly, Harry Potter. Those two had found a common ground; making fun of Blaise and complaining about Blaise. As for Blaise, their relationship was normal, perhaps a bit warm but they were still…them.
"We still a need a few people to pick out a tree and it would be nice if someone could be in charge of the menu for the upcoming event."
Pansy who'd been glancing around with boredom was somewhat surprised to see many others looking around idly. So she wasn't the only one who felt they were going overboard. With that thought and another glance at Granger who was still babbling about the table settings and napkins and candle colors she decided to cut in with a comment. But when she raised her voice to say something it was drowned out by a new wave of things to do.
Pansy sat there for a while trying to get in a word but after all that failed she sighed and stuck her hand up in the air, all the while not believing that she had to resort to hand raising to get attention. It was like being in school all over again and Granger of all people was the strict and monotonous professor.
Harry, who was standing behind Ginny, trying to keep up with her urgent whispers of "Hand me that paper, with the trees on it!" or "No, grab the blue pen, blue, not black!" had noticed Pansy raising her hand in the corner, as if waiting to be called on to say something.
He reached around Ginny and nudged Hermione, who had momentarily stopped to take a breath, and nodded in Pansy's direction, "I think she's volunteering…or asking for your permission to leave for the loo."
Hermione gave him a look that clearly said, Stuff it but she did turn and say Pansy's name.
"Do you want to go out and pick a tree? Or maybe write up a menu?"
Pansy cleared her throat and with an indifferent tone said, "No, just wanna know if you'll let me out to use the bathroom. I've kinda got to pee." Her comment was followed by a sly wink to Harry who like most everyone started snickering at Pansy's question and also at Hermione's flushed face.
Remus and Tonks who had been cuddling in an armchair near her reached out for a high five, they two had thought that Hermione was being too much with the Christmas arrangements, and what better way to loosen her up by joking around. Not to mention that it was rare that one could dismount Hermione Granger in a way like that.
After a moment of silence in which the mood of the room lightened somewhat a harsh voice rose above the resumed chatter.
"You don't have to be here. And it would be nice if you'd help us out Pansy." Hermione had tried to disguise her contempt for the girl but when she had made a fool of all her hard work and gotten everyone to laugh at her stress; Hermione couldn't find it in her to keep the words back.
"Help with what Granger? Is there anything useful here for me to help with? Besides picking out napkin colors and cutting down a pine tree just for the sake of making your holidays?" Pansy had no reason to pick a fight with Hermione but she hadn't meant to be condescending, she only wanted her to lighten up.
When Hermione's mouth opened to defend herself it wasn't her voice that came out. It was Draco's. "She's trying to make your holidays, and everyone else's, out of the kindness of her heart. So if you're not going to help don't ruin things for people. Come on Pansy, lighten up."
The room which was alive with chatter now died down to looks and glances as the flittered from Draco, who also stood, with arms over his chest, in a corner and Pansy, in the opposite corner. Blaise who'd been enjoying a round of poker with Bill Weasley (the one that was decent in his opinion) dropped his cards and started over to Pansy.
He was just approaching her when Pansy, with a stony look on her face, left her corner and made her way towards Draco. The nerve of that boy. After not speaking to me for an entire week, not even to apologize, after giving me the cold shoulder, how dare he snap at me for trying to lighten the stress?
Draco, who had studiously avoided Pansy ever since their argument in the hospital room found his heart and nerves racing as he watched her approach him. He'd felt so bad for the words he'd carelessly thrown at her, and even worse for not having the guts to approach her and admit his wrongness. But that was just how he handled things. With Hermione he could always count on her caving first, she wasn't really one for grudges, but Pansy was like him, she didn't forget a fight and she was never the first to admit mistakes.
When she was directly in front of him, Pansy's mind caught up with her and the look of anger passed, instead her face flushed and the hand she'd had ready to slap him with eased back to her side and she briskly walked passed him, avoiding eye contact and ignoring the looks she could feel on her back.
Before Draco could change his mind and lose his nerve he turned and followed Pansy out. He'd had enough of this nagging voice in his mind, this feeling of being wrong, it plagued him and it was turning this short period of peace into something unbearable.
The cold December air surrounded the garden and it felt good to breathe it in. As that air made its way into Pansy's lungs and body it seemed to also freeze her feelings, cooling her very soul as it made her start shivering.
She hadn't noticed Draco following her out because he'd unconsciously followed her every step, making it hard for her to pick up the sound of another person's footsteps, not that she would've picked it up, she'd been to busy berating herself and trying to come up with an idea on how to get out of this new dramatic mess she'd dug herself into.
When the sound of someone clearing their throat met her ears she was honestly surprised and it showed when she jumped out of the trance she'd fallen into.
When her eyes met Draco's she found them to be too much and looked away as quickly as possible. For some unknown reason that hurt Draco more than anything else that past week; what was going on? Why was Pansy like this? Blaise might think that he'd been the only who noticed Pansy's lack of appetite or her lack of life in general but that certainly wasn't' true.
Draco might have been giving her the cold shoulder but he'd spent a lot of time recently peeking into her life, trying to figure out if everything she'd said had been true. And it was. She was a shadow of her former self, it was like a black hole had been stationed right behind her and it was slowly sucking away the very essence that made her Pansy. She was just always withdrawn these days, one couldn't even call it moping because moping eventually stopped, this, whatever this was wasn't stopping.
"Pansy. Look," Draco walked over to stand in front of her, to make sure that she could see that he meant every word he was about to say, "I'm sorry. For what I said just now, for what I said in the hospital, for letting you fade back and for anything else that might have been wrong. I…things are hard right now."
Pansy stared dutifully at the ground as his apology washed over her. Are you sorry for making me like this? For not loving me? For not thinking me good enough? Can you fix me with a few words? But this was as close to feeling better and whole as she would get, so mustering up another bought of fake cheeriness she looked up and simply nodded at him with a small smile that was harder to hold up than anything she'd tried before.
"Apology accepted. But you still have to go out of your way for a super sweet Christmas gift, or I'll take that back."
Draco grinned and reached his arms around her for a hug, this sweet girl, I don't deserve this, don't deserve her. "Deal, whatever makes my Pans happy."
"Whatever? As in anything?" Pansy didn't know what she was doing, Draco with his strong arms around her, his scent swirling around her, this question seemed appropriate, but what was she going to say after he responded? She'd finally stumbled out of one hole only to land herself into another one.
She could feel his laugh as she listened to its sound, "Of course, I'll give you anything, what do you want?"
You. Only you. Can you give me that? Please? I'd never ask for anything else? I'd die happy. Can I really have you? She knew what the answer was. She'd known all along, but she'd accepted it hadn't she? Instead of voicing her one desire in this life she squeezed Draco one more time before pulling away and with another fake sparkle in her eyes she put on another show to keep him at ease, to keep his life simple.
"I'm sure you'll figure out what it is I want. Besides, I've always been partial to surprises. But it better be good." Protecting someone was hard, it could almost be a full time job, a job that demanded everything you had but gave back close to nothing. Every once in a while though, during a job, you have lucky day, and Draco's large, happy grin could count as one of those lucky days; so as Pansy basked in the warmth of his smile she kept up her own smile and fought the urge to run away and never come back.
It was Christmas Eve. 8:46 on Christmas Eve to be exact and she was down to 14 minutes to get ready for the party. She'd retreated to her room two hours ago, claiming she needed that time to get ready, accepting all the teasing and jokes the boys had thrown at her good naturedly. But once she'd gotten to her room Pansy just sat down on the bed, suddenly very nervous for tonight.
It might have been because she hadn't donned a dress and attended any formal event since the end of the year bash almost 7 years ago. Or it could've been because tonight was the gift exchange and she was antsy about giving Draco his gift, or, her mind was saying, it's because you don't want to be there tonight, where you have an inkling about what's going to happen.
Her memory back flashed and she went back approximately 27 hours ago. It was late and Pansy had just put down her book with the intention of turning in for the night when a noise outside her door caught her attention. Quietly she made her way to it and eased it open. The hall was still lit and since she'd already switched off her light, her door went unnoticed by the two people in the hallway.
Even in the dim lighting she could clearly make out Draco's hair and build. When she registered what was happening, a sharp pain ripped through her and tears welled up. With wide eyes she watched as he ravaged the girl in his arms, who was no other than Hermione Granger.
They were about three doors down and going at it. Draco had Hermione pinned against the wall and his mouth was currently on her throat, lavishing kisses there as his hands wandered her body. It had been 5 years since she saw any form of PDA between these two. After walking in on a sweet kiss between them back when they were getting ready to leave for one of their first long missions Pansy had promised to not let herself go through hat kind of torture anymore.
She was very aware that Draco was very active with his girls; she used to be one herself. But the image, the mere possibility of that was too much for her, so ever since then she'd become, virtually a nun when it came to the physical part of love. She hadn't felt a single pang of arousal, or passion, of anything rather then a detached longing for someone since her last time with Draco, which had been violent and angry and had scarred her for life.
But as she watched them she felt the longing increase ten fold. Draco had been the only guy she'd ever bedded, despite the many rumors centered on her virtue back in school. He was her first and last and she'd unconsciously promised that that would be how things would stay.
As Draco began to trail kisses lower and his hands traveled higher Pansy's tears overflowed and she hastily shut her door with a loud snap that she wasn't even aware of. But that snap caught the attention of Draco. Surprisingly enough, even though he looked to be focused on one thing only, his mind was far from the girl he held in his arms. He and Hermione had actually just had a row, their 5th in one day and he was just pouring his anger and frustrations into passion; it had been working quite well when all of a sudden Pansy entered his mind.
Another mewing noise permeated his ears and the lusty fog that overtook his mind a few minutes ago cleared and his hands began to slow and his mouth stopped.
Hermione who had finally felt like her boyfriend was becoming normal again sighed and firmly pushed him away as she saw his head turn in the direction of Pansy's closed door. She'd actually caught the slight movement of the dark haired girl's door and had seen the tears in her eyes as she watched them. Hermione wasn't stupid, wasn't blind and wasn't fooled. She knew that Pansy felt more for Draco than she let on. Everyone but her boyfriend noticed, which was so weird because Draco picked up on the smallest things.
She'd always thought that Draco and her were meant to be though and since she didn't know how Draco stood on the matter of Pansy she'd never brought it up. At times, she'd felt a light tug on her conscience, one like now, where she watched the other girl slip back into the shadows, unnoticed by the only person she wanted to be noticed by.
Hermione was a girl though, and like all girls, she wanted whoever, whatever that was hers to remain so. She loved Draco and she didn't want him to doubt that he loved her too. But holding him at arms length like this and registering that he still had his head turned away from her was enough to override that little tug in her mind and enough to ignite a flame of possession and annoyance.
"Draco, what's wrong? What are you doing? Why'd you stop?" Hermione was frustrated; things had been like this for a few weeks now, around the time….the time Pansy fainted. She let go of her boyfriend and brought her hands up to her mouth, covering it in horror. How could she not have noticed?
"I can't believe you!" Hermione cried out, completely outraged at herself for not catching it till now and beyond pissed that Draco could be doing this to her.
Draco turned back to Hermione and all of a sudden looked really weary, what was she going to accuse him of now? "Hermione, calm down, nothing's wrong, it's just late and I'm tired."
"That is not it and you know it. You want HER! Don't you? You have since you got back! I can't believe this. Am I not enough?"
Draco couldn't believe his ears,"What are you shouting about?"
"You want that whore!" she was beyond thinking rationally now.
"What whore? Who are you calling a whore?"
"Don't pretend Malfoy, I can see through you, you want your so call best friend and you thought you could fool me?"
"Blaise? I am NOT gay, if you haven't noticed by now." Draco actually was catching on to what she was accusing him of, but he couldn't believe that she was actually saying it. Pansy and him? Wait, Pansy….a whore?
Before Hermione point out the obvious and yell at him some more for being dense Draco's arm shot out and trapped her against the wall.
His voice which had been just annoyed and somewhat tired changed. He was mad now, "Don't you call her a whore. She has enough shit going on without you calling her untrue things behind her back. Leave Pansy out of our problems, Hermione or I'll have to do something I might regret."
Draco had vowed to never hurt Pansy and Blaise again, he was going to be a true friend to them and a true friend didn't let anyone talk shit behind their backs.
Now it was Hermione's turn to be pissed. "What the hell are you saying Draco? Do you remember the countless times you insulted Ron and Harry to my face? All those times you called them "untrue" things behind their backs? And what did I say wrong? She is a whore and you know it!"
With narrowed eyes Draco's other arm shot out to hold Hermione in place, "Don't you dare call her that! You have no idea what you're talking about Granger. And why is Weasley always a part of everything concerning us these days?"
"He's my best friend Draco!"
"Yes, but why do I feel that being involved with you also means being involved with him? It's always Ron this, Ron that…"
"Maybe it's because I'm sick of hearing you Pansy this and Pansy that lately!"
"Quit bringing Pansy into this! God Granger!"
"I'm not at fault here. Just talk to me Draco, what's wrong?"
"Why are you always insisting that I tell you everything?"
"Isn't that what a relationship with a significant other is for?!"
"No. You're there to support me, not pester me and bug the hell out of me and tell me how to run my life!"
"Well, excuse me then! Allow me to leave you alone so you can go back to pining for that whore of yours!"
"Is that what this is about? You're scared and jealous that I want Pansy?"
"Don't you?"
-silence-
"Draco…." Hermione's voice, which had been raised and high, now dropped to a whisper. Her arms which had been clenched into tight fists at her side slackened and she quickly reached them up to push him away but before she could Draco turned his grey eyes and in turn, asked her a question that gave caused a stricken look to pass across her face.
"What about you Hermione? Do you really want me? Or is it Weasley, the one who you obviously still have feelings for? Did you think I had no idea what happened a week ago?"
Pansy didn't know what happened after that but from the way Draco and Hermione acted the entire day today showed that they hadn't made up…yet?
That's what she was dreading. As of that morning the requirements for this party were posted and for the sake of all the time Hermione, Ginny, Molly and Fleur put into arguing about all of it everyone had agreed to follow all their rules down to the last detail.
The dress code had been decided and the verdict was; it must be formal wear. And at the last minute, after much dispute it was also announced that everyone should attend the party in pairs, in other words, you had to have a date. That itself was easy, all it took was a short glance at Blaise for Pansy to gather that she had a partner and wouldn't end up going stag. But that's what made her more uneasy about the almost unavoidable (or so she thought it was) reunion of Granger and...Draco. After all they must be each other's date, right?
With 13 minutes left on the clock Pansy stood up and began to act fast. She slipped on her dress and quickly turned to look in the mirror to apply her light make-up, a tad of liner, mascara, and a touch of gloss before she swept her hair up into a high ponytail. The pair of black 4-inch heels sat ready by her closet and after sliding her feet into those she was ready, with still 2 minutes to go.
She felt a bit wobbly in her heels; it had been so long since she'd worn anything with a heel more than an inch high of the ground. Back then she was always in heels to make up for the height that she wasn't born with, it really has been too long were her thoughts as she took in her reflection.
A moment passed as Pansy looked at herself but before she could process the critical thoughts that were forming a light knock at the door made her turn around and the thoughts stayed unfinished.
Blaise Zabini stood with one hand behind his back and another extended out to her as she opened the door and for a second she could only look at him with wide eyes and a surprised smile.
Blaise stood in an elegant black tux with a silver inner vest and matching silver tie. His smirk, which displayed most of his white teeth stood out against his dark skin and all in all, it was a striking image. At least I'll look somewhat decent on his arm….
"Mi lady, I have to thank thee again for allowing me the pleasure of accompanying you." Blaise's deep voice coupled with a fake medieval accent made Pansy giggle.
Laying a hand on his extended one she dropped a curtsy and replied in the same manner, "Oh kind sir, chivalry isn't dead after all and I'm ever so grateful for your company."
As a contented smile made its way onto her face Blaise finally allowed himself to look her over. The reason Blaise found himself falling for her so long ago was because of the simple way she looked. She wasn't beautiful in a striking way, she was beautiful in a –I've-been-your-best-friend-all-your-life way; I guess one could say, she slowly grew beautiful in his eyes.
He'd always carried around a moment in which Pansy had looked her best, or so he was sure, but when the door opened and out popped Pansy it took everything he had to not give away that he was absolutely floored by the way she looked. This by far, topped everything.
Her dress was elegant but hinted at naughtiness. It was a high collared halter, blue satin with a design of black lace over it. It was meant to be knee length but on Pansy's build it went past her knees and to the top of her ribboned heels. The simple high ponytail seemed to top it off but really, the look was made complete with Pansy's bright eyes and happy grin.
Deciding that he had all night to ogle at her Blaise reached his other hand out and pulled the corsage of light baby blue rose buds tied with silver ribbon.
"How'd you know the color of my dress?" Pansy asked curiously as she helped him fasten it onto her right wrist.
"I didn't. The roses change color as soon as they know their wearer's dress. They were white before. Hey, but guess what? That silver ribbon? I actually tied that! Me and Potter had gone out and bought the wrong type of box corsages, so we spent an hour and a half tying those blasted devils into that spectacular bow you're looking at right now."
"Huh. No wonder I thought it looked askew when you took it out." Pansy laughed when Blaise frowned and eyed the perfect silver bow on her hand.
"I knew something must have been off….."
"I'm kidding you frivolous man. It's wonderful. Perfect. Magnificent. Calm yourself down."
Blaise put a hand up to rub the back of his head, his habit for when he was embarrassed but Pansy took hold of that hand and once she gave it a light tug he grinned reluctantly, "Alright, so I'm frivolous, sue me. Now are you ready?"
"Uh huh, let's go party huh? We used to be real good at that," commented Pansy.
Blaise looked at her and a smile pulled at his lips.
This, for all those curious, was the beginning of everything. Or the end. Or both. The end of unrequited love and the beginning of a something more.
A shared laugh. A locked gaze. A hesitant smile and a sly wink.
And behind them a surprised and bewildered gaze that went unnoticed.
"What's going on between them?" was Draco Malfoy's question as he stood looking at his two friends' backs with the most peculiar feeling, one he couldn't name, but had anyone been able to take a look at his face, they'd have said without a moment of hesitation; he's jealous.
Well, I won't make any false promises about the next chapter and when it'll be up, but I won't abandon this, it might be slow, but if you like it, please stick with it. That's all, Happy Memorial Day to all!
P.S-And sorry for any typos, I've tried to weed them out, but my eyes are wacko from looking at the screen for so long. If you catch any, please, point them out.