This set of rules has been written from observation and influence of the acts and behaviors of the lieutenants of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads. They shall be held as such, no matter the situation. They shall be followed at all times and updated when deemed necessary.
Disclaimer- I do not own Bleach, but I do own the random Lieutenant Shihoin that I put in here.
The Handbook of Central 46
61) None of the lieutenants of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads are allowed to auction off their captains for unbelievably low prices.
62) Rave parties in your training grounds are not permitted.
63) Bunny ranches do not exist in the Soul Society. Do NOT think about starting one.
64) Stop blaming it on the alcohol.
65) Konoha, or whatever that place is called, does not exist in the Soul Society.
66) Please stop sacrificing graduates from the academy to the gods of Rukongai. That is not an appropriate initiation to the Thirteen Court Guard Squads.
67) No, there are no gods of Rukongai.
68) Captain Kurotsuchi is not a generic mad scientist hell-bent on taking down the Seireitei from the inside out. If he was, you are to report it to us, not the creepy guy outside your barracks.
69) Sexual exploits are not to be explained on the walls of the male/female bathroom stalls. We don't care how bad it was.
70) While the idea of giving each captain their own theme song is creative, none of the lieutenants of the 13 Court Guard Squads are allowed to choose said songs. We don't trust any of you.
71) Why are all of you so violent?
72) Unless you are the second seat of Squad 11, none of you are allowed in their barracks unsupervised by someone sane.
73) When the warning 'Don't try this at home' comes up, don't try it anywhere at any time. Nor does it mean you should try it on your new recruits in your squad's training grounds.
74) Tapioca pudding is banned from the Seireitei. We needed that department.
75) It is a proven fact that humans in the world of the living with low spiritual pressure can't see soul reapers. Using this to your advantage and tripping them is not funny.
76) Once again to all female lieutenants, yaoi is not tolerated during work hours. Stop drawing those pictures of the captains and return to your paperwork.
77) Taping your paperwork to some poor soul and chasing it around with your zanpakuto is prohibited.
78) Central 46 is not a secret group of well trained demon ninja arrancars threatening to enslave all soul reapers. If we were, you all would be the first to go.
79) Science fiction of any kind is banned from Seireitei.
80) All male lieutenants, yuri is not tolerated during work hours. No, we don't want to know why you all have those chains.
81) Hollows are not disgruntled virgins looking for someone to bone. Stop telling the recruits that.
82) Stop telling the recruits false information. We're losing them faster than we can replace them.
83) Omaeda, stop telling people your full name. Face it, no one will be able to pronounce it.
84) None of you are allowed in Squad 3's barracks without permission. Captain Ichimaru is already a bum as it is.
85) Alchemy is prohibited and banned from the Seireitei.