CHAPTER 4

EMPTY

Shepard woke to a throbbing headache. His head hurt so much that he could hardly see straight. His mouth was infinitesimally dry. Shepard had a hangover. He got out of his bed and walked over to the sink. Grabbing a glass from overhead he poured himself some water. He drank three glasses. Wow, I haven't felt like this since the days when Red and I would….

Shepard reached down to his chest and grabbed his tags. It was still there. Was it always there? Is it different, or am I different? Shepard couldn't remember, but he seriously doubted that the whole thing could have been a fabrication. All he knew right now is that he felt like shit.

He took a shower and got dressed. He walked over to his personal terminal and checked his messages. Nothing too interesting—everything seemed pretty bland after defeating the Collectors. Shepard thought about what the maw had said. I should just leave this alone. But could he? What if the fate of the universe was in his hands—again? Everything that he had experienced was so real. And in a way, what the maw had said made a lot of sense now. Or is this the dice reasoning with me? Regardless, Shepard needed to get to the bottom of this. And the only way to figure anything out was to take another dose. One more wouldn't kill him—hopefully. He decided that he was going to have to talk to Jack about getting another dose. Oh yeah, and kill her for getting him into this mess, or fuck her.

Shepard finished getting ready and headed for the elevator. That's funny, how did that get there? There was a datapad laying face down in front of the door. Shepard walked over to it and picked it up. He turned it over and hit the power button. Shepard's heart jumped into his throat.

"I KNOW"

Shepard glanced over at his desk and saw what he was afraid of. His personal datapad was still sitting on the desk. Somebody had brought this up while he was asleep. Zaeed. It had to be. He was the only one that had seen him except Jack. That bastard, what the hell does he want from me? Money? No, Zaeed was much smarter than that. He would know the power that he held over Shepard right now. The stakes were considerable—Captain, Spectre, Cerberus. For the universe being such a big place, it was amazing how fast word got around. If Zaeed wanted to, he could ruin Shepard. Nobody wants to deal with a dicehead. Fuck!

Shepard reasoned that he better take care of this one step at a time. Zaeed wasn't some young kid. He knew what he was doing, so he wouldn't jump the gun on this one. That bought Shepard enough time to try the next dose, and see if this was even worth it. Shepard's hangover got ten times worse. He set the datapad next to his and got on the elevator. Time to go see Jack.

She was sitting in the dark playing a game of solitaire on her rack. It looked like she was about to lose. She looked up at Shepard and quickly resumed her game.

"I need to talk to you," said Shepard. He took his usual position and crossed his arms and leaned against the bulkhead.

"You need to talk to me or do you need to get laid? I told you to stop bullshitting me Shepard."

"I want to talk about yesterday."

"What I wasn't good enough for you? My pussy too big for you? Well, maybe you should get a bigger dick." Jack continued playing her card game. Shepard couldn't help but laugh at Jack's comment. She was always backed into a corner—always fighting.

"I need another dose." Jack stopped playing. She looked up at Shepard for a moment, and looked back down. The game was over, but she couldn't bear to look at Shepard while she talked about this.

"No you don't."

"Just one more Jack. You got me into this. You owe me."

"Look, Shepard I think you're a complete fucking prick, but I still like you. I wouldn't wish what I have to go through on anybody. I'm sorry about yesterday, I just thought…that it was going to be different."

"Jack you don't understand. This IS different."

"Shut the fuck up Shepard. You sound like a fucking junkie."

"I don't need you to understand. I just need one more dose."

"I'm out."

"What?"

"Yeah, I ran out this morning. We're going to have to go to Omega to get more."

"Omega?"

"Yeah."

"Can you schedule a pickup for today?"

"Yeah, they're always open."

"Okay, you get a hold of your contact and I'll tell Joker to take us to Omega." Shepard started walking away."

"Shepard." Jack was looking up at Shepard now. He stopped and didn't look back.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful okay?"

"Okay." Shepard walked off. Jack gathered her cards up and set them on the floor next to her. She grabbed her communicator from her stand and flipped it open. After pressing a few buttons she brought it up to her face.

"The fridge is empty." That was it—the message was over. She closed the communicator and put it back. Jack looked down at her rack. The fridge wasn't the only thing that was empty—she was empty. She reached beside her rack and delicately fingered the latch of her dice box open. There was one more vial. She looked at it for a moment and applied it to her arm. Do you love me? Darkness.

Shepard walked over to Zaeed's hatch. He pressed the intercom button. "Yeah," said Zaeed.

"It's Shepard." The door opened up, and Shepard walked in. Zaeed was sitting on his rack sharpening his knife. He glanced up at Shepard, and continued sharpening his blade. "We're going to Omega today," said Shepard.

"Oh yeah? What For?"

"Have to pick up some supplies."

"What kind of supplies?"

"Supplies."

You're a real son of a bitch Zaeed. I'm not going to let you take me down like this. The two looked at each other for a moment. It was like two chess champions trying to convince the other that they didn't care about the game—unlikely.

"Just let me know when you need me." Zaeed put his knife in its sheath and set it on his stand. He set the reorganizer next to it. "I'm going to grab some chow. You mind hitting the lights?" Zaeed stood up and brushed past Shepard as he walked out. Shepard fucking hated Zaeed. He was about to hit the lights, when he looked at Zaeed's stand. His knife and reorganizer were sitting side by side.

The elevator doors were about to close when Shepard put his hand in the motion sensor field. The doors opened again and Zaeed was glaring at him. "What the fuck took you so long? I asked you to shut off the lights, not take a fucking nap."

"Two." Shepard wasn't in the mood to talk to assholes right now. Zaeed got off without saying a word. Shepard got off on the second floor, and walked up to the bridge to speak with Joker.

If Joker was anything, he was consistent. Joker had in a way, become the ship. He was more of the Normandy than EDI, and EDI was designed to seamlessly integrate into her systems. Shepard loved Joker because you never had to guess what his motivation was. It was either for the ship—or nothing.

And there he was, sitting in the cockpit with a big grin on his face—big surprise. Shepard walked up and put his hand on Joker's shoulder. Joker didn't even flinch. "I need you to take us to Omega Joker."

"Omega huh? What kind of trouble do we have waiting for us there?"

"Nothing too serious, just need to check up on something." There was a silence as they both stared out at the stars. Shepard knew what Joker was waiting for. He was sure he knew about him and Jack, and was just dying for the details. If it was anybody else on the ship, Shepard would tell them to fuck off—well except Garrus. But Garrus would never ask anyway. Joker was a good friend, but their friendship had a bizarre dynamic to it. It was like Joker was a fixture of the damn ship. What the hell, Joker never got out of the cockpit anyway. So Shepard told him about how wild she was, and how good she felt, and how she had slapped him on the side of the head.

Joker especially liked this last detail, "Oh shit! Man that's a crazy bitch!"

"You have no idea pal," said Shepard. "How long until we get to Omega?"

"About one hour."

"Thanks Joker."

"No problem loverboy." And that was it. Shepard knew that he would never have to worry about Joker talking about it or anything. It was like a confessional with the ship. Shepard checked his personal terminal again, and went back up to his quarters.

ONE HOUR LATER

"Captain we'll be docking in Omega in 10 minutes." It was Joker over the intercom. Shepard hit the call button.

"Thank you Joker." Shepard grabbed his black and red N7 armor out of his locker. He powered up his visor and put it on.

TESTING…TESTING…TES

+++BOOT CYCLE COMPLETE+++

+++ALL SYSTEMS NOMINAL+++

The text cleared and gave way to 'enhanced vision.' This basically silhouetted all objects that had a definite outline and not only highlighted them (which was excellent for camouflaged enemies, distant objects, or low-light situations), but it also ran them through a vast database of pertinent information. So given the shape, and molecular makeup of an object the visor could usually tell you some very important stuff. It also took real-time bio readings of whatever targets where prioritized. That way you could monitor vitals, or even hear distant conversations. The things that they come up with nowadays.

Shepard's weapons were already loaded into their 'ergonomic exchange assembly.' This basically maximized the space on his suit, and guaranteed that a user could carry as many weapons and ammo as possible. It also interfaced with the suit to distribute the weight properly. A full load of gear and Shepard would fall backwards without this! Shepard had a small selector switch on the forearm of his suit where he could 'select' which weapon he wanted. If the weapon he wanted was underneath the other ones, it would rotate to the surface and the outside so it could be easily retrieved. It was very easy to holster these weapons when you were done. Each weapon had unique 'gravity points' which corresponded with their specific weapon slot. So they pretty much put themselves away, you just needed to get it back there.

Shepard walked over to the docking hatch. Jack and Zaeed were already waiting. They knew better than to start up with a conversation, because it would end with a fight. The Normandy shook as the receiving arms gently grabbed the hull and brought her in. The walkway made a buzzing noise as it extended to the ship. It made a slight bumping noise, and then you could hear it seal. The light above the hatch turned green.

"After you," said Shepard as he gestured the two toward the hatch. All three entered the walkway, and Shepard hit the button behind him. The door of the Normandy closed. A thin blue decontamination ray first passed through the chamber horizontally, then vertically. After its last pass, a green light lit up on the dock side, and the hatch opened.

"Decontamination complete, welcome to Omega," said a cheery female voice.