'Sunset, I close my eyes,
I pretend everything's alright,
Drowning in anger from all these lies
I can't pretend everything's alright
Please don't let me fall over
Can you tell me it's over?'
~Red

Chapter Four

Don't Wake Me Up

Four Weeks Later

The sun hung low in the evening sky. Darkness was beginning to creep among the edges of various sunbeams, preparing to take flight. Night was descending upon day and day was falling ceremoniously into night. The absence of light was almost unforgivable. The day was ending. The world stood still.

Shunsui closed his eyes as the sun began to sink below the horizon. The gentle warmth of light on his face was comforting. He tilted his head higher into the sky, exposing his stiff muscles to the fleeting light. As night began to consume the sunset, Shunsui began to descend into an abyss of sorrow.

He blinked his eyes fervently, attempting to dispel the sudden onslaught of sadness. He could feel it; sorrow slowly consuming his consciousness like a poison, abolishing what remained of his sanity. Every night he allowed himself to feel, for during the day he adopted the appearance of an emotionless leader. He had to be strong for his squad. He had to be strong for her.

She wouldn't forgive him if he hid within himself.

Within the darkness and the shadows, Shunsui shed his frozen façade, removing the mask he had forged across his features. No longer reminiscent of what he once had been, he permitted himself to quietly cry in vain. Each droplet rolled down his face silently, colliding with the wooden panels beneath his large feet.

He never thought he would loose Nanao. He missed her angry voice and steel grey gaze, scolding him for committing an act of mischief. He yearned to feel the furious collision of a book across his face, the indent of handwritten words easily legible across his enflamed skin.

He wanted to kill whoever had forced his Nanao-chan into unconsciousness.

Shunsui carefully turned his back toward the bleeding sky, removing his broad body from the doorframe he was leaning against. His hands, large and calloused, brushed against the wood of a singular sliding door. It was there he could see her body bathed in darkness, ridged beneath the thin cotton sheets that cocooned her frail form. Nanao was alive, barely clinging to life.

Squad Four had been attentive to her care for weeks, maintaining her existence in a flurry of Kido and Reishi. Her wounds had been beyond medical expertise; deep and jagged, wrapped in a substantial amount of gauze and linin. While staring at her broken body, he had become extremely compliant, willing to give her his vitality if it would spare her life.

Her could still distinguish the scent of death upon her skin from across the room. He wished it would fade like the sunlight beyond his body, fleeing from the evening sky in a flurry of silent sound. After everything, Nanao continued to linger within the darkness of her consciousness, suspended upon the precipice of life. He wanted her to wake up.

Shunsui sighed sadly as he pushed himself away from the doorway. His fingers brushed the wood gently before he was completely free. He walked further into Nanao's room, barely noticing the assortment of furniture and gifts that lingered along the walls. His attention was focused on a single chair, right beside his lieutenant's still form.

That seat had been Shunsui's home for the past few weeks. He was with Nanao everyday, willing her eyes to open. He spent his nights in her presence, consuming her frail appearance. He often blamed himself for her deep slumber, but Jushiro had forced him to discard those feelings.

His eyes closed at the thought of Jushiro Ukitake. The man had graciously assisted the eighth division during Shunsui's time of despair. He visited Nanao's room frequently, often starting small, one-sided conversations. Ukitake would tell her about his day and what Shunsui had been up to. It was an odd sight to observe, but a kind gesture nonetheless.

As Shunsui reached the chair, he sighed and silently thanked his friend. Jushiro had relieved a large burden off his chest. As Nanao continued to fight her weak body, Shunsui felt as though he was suffocating. The kindness of his friends made the pain fade slightly. His emotions became more bearable.

A grim smile appeared along Shunsui's mouth as his fingers brushed against the wood of the chair. He admired the stability of the structure, wishing his life could be firm and secure. He hated hospitals and his constant visits to the fourth division reminded him of that fact. Shunsui sighed and removed his hand from its tarnished surface. He looked at Nanao's face and slowly sat down.

She was unmoving, a statue made from stone. Her skin was pale, similar to the surface of the moon. Her lips, cracked like a pane of broken glass, split her fragile features in half. A vast variety of cuts tainted the surface of her flesh, swollen and enflamed, reminiscent of nothing but battle. Shunsui's fists clenched in anger.

He looked toward the sky again, the absence of the sunlight bathing his chiseled features in darkness. He closed his dark brown eyes, surrendering his thoughts to the blackness that surrounded his body.

Within the darkness, Shunsui attempted to locate his heartbeat; each thump pounding smoothly under his flesh like a consistent battle drum. He felt dead inside. The incessant pressure of his heart had become an annoyance.

He slowly relinquished his blindness in exchange for sight, detecting the dull sound of footfall in the distance. Each footstep struck the floorboards of Squad Four precisely; resonating through his ears the way a drop of rain would collide with the earth. His eyes calmly examined the abandoned doorway, awaiting the presence of an unannounced visitor.

She appeared within the narrow doorframe, brandishing nothing but her wicked stare, unnervingly calm and kind. She quickly calculated Shunsui's disfigured presence, silently disapproving his lack of cleanliness. He carefully observed her face; he did not care if she saw his sadness, obvious and apparent as the air he calmly breathed through his nose.

"Kyoraku-taichou, may I ask why you are here after visiting hours?"

All the thoughts running through Shunsui's head immediately stilled. He breathed deeply and forced himself to turn away from Nanao's damaged body. He ran a calloused hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes.

Unohana Retsu, Captain of the fourth division, stood in the doorway of the room. Her arms were crossed and an expectant expression was plastered across her face. She seemed neither displeased nor content with her position. The woman always assumed a calm presence, but Shunsui knew better. Captain Unohana was an interesting individual. Her true feelings were always hidden.

"Ah, I see you have found me again, Unohana-taichou." Shunsui rumbled tiredly. "I assume you want me to leave?"

Unohana slowly walked into the room, gliding across the wooden floorboards like a brisk bout of evening wind. Her hands were folded neatly across her torso, brushing against the silken fabric of her haori. Her kind eyes, filled with sympathy and sorrow, filled Shunsui's bruised heart with an onslaught of pain.

"You would return despite my assurances regarding Nanao's well-being. After all, Kyoraku-taichou, do you not possess a complete indifference towards rules in particular?" Unohana mused quietly.

A small smile stretched across his lips. He carefully removed his fingers from the contours of his face, dispelling a strand of loose hair that interfered with his brown gaze. "I apologize if my behavior troubles you. I simply refuse to leave her unattended."

"Of course." Unohana stated quietly, moving swiftly toward Shunsui. "I understand the protective tendency you possess toward Nanao-san."

Shunsui sighed deeply. He was torn apart. His soul ached painfully, sliced and diced like an apple recently cut apart by a knife. The wounds within his heart burned and bled, beating in time with the abused muscle behind his rib cage. He had saved her from death, inevitably becoming the obstacle that had deterred her demise.

"Every Captain feels inclined to protect their lieutenant." He mumbled under his breath, gazing thoughtfully at his war-worn hands.

"Yes, that notion is quite clear." Unohana said seriously, untangling her fingers to gingerly grasp Nanao's withered hand.

Shunsui turned to stare at Unohana blandly, observing the careful manner in which she dragged her fingers along the bandages that shielded Nanao's bruised flesh. The linin dressings were stained crimson, blotches of blood slowly undulating through the fabric like water. Unohana cautiously slipped her fingers beneath the bandages, unraveling the soiled bindings; he watched her with artful care.

"You have a way with words, Unohana-taichou." Shunsui muttered quietly, glancing at her face, attempting to inch his way underneath her frozen façade.

Unohana laughed softly. The sound sent shivers up Shunsui's spine. "My ability couldn't possibly rival yours, Kyoraku-taichou. As I recall, the words you speak have quite the effect on people."

A small smile tugged at the corner of Shunsui's lips. "Really? That is certainly something I've never been aware of."

Unohana didn't retort to Shunsui's statement. She remained silent, entirely focused on the wounded woman before her gaze. Her fingers brushed against Nanao's skin softly, poking and prodding various lacerations that meandered across her pale flesh. As Unohana removed multiple layers of soiled gauze, more of her enflamed skin became visible. Shunsui was forced to look away.

"I am glad you have some decency." Unohana suddenly murmured.

Shunsui could detect the quiet rustle of fabric resounding throughout the room. He assumed Nanao was being further undressed and examined. "I am not an ill-mannered man. I have always considered the needs of others."

Unohana nodded but said nothing in return. Shunsui supposed she was entirely consumed in her task. The woman would have normally said something rather intelligent. Her calm retorts always amused him, for she knowingly spoke to him in a clever manner.

For several moments, the room was absolutely silent. Shunsui closed his eyes and hummed quietly under his breath. Within the safety of his consciousness, suspended in a black abyss of silence, Shunsui envisioned a world were his life was completely mundane. He could dream and travel throughout his memories; live in places filled with happiness and joy.

"Do you detect anything odd, Kyoraku-taichou?"

Shunsui's brown orbs snapped open. He twisted his body toward Unohana, wondering what had caught her attention. He hoped it had nothing to do with Nanao's condition. She was already broken, floating aimlessly within herself like dead dandelion seeds scattered across an unknown terrain.

"Now why would you ask something like that?" Shunsui asked calmly. His eyes immediately moved towards his lieutenant's figure. A blanket had been tossed over her body haphazardly, obscuring any unnecessary glimpses of naked skin.

Unohana slowly moved in front of Nanao, effectively blocking his view of her damaged figure. She kept her eyes locked on Shunsui, watching the emotions flitting across his face. She appeared to be calm, but there was something odd about her behavior. She was hiding something. He intended to discover what she concealed beneath her grey gaze.

"I merely wish to gather more insight on Nanao-san's condition."

Shunsui sent the doctor a gloomy look. "I have nothing to offer. I am not a doctor, after all."

"We have all been trained as such. You were once competent in the art of Kido, correct?" Unohana said quietly, staring deep into Shunsui's dark brown eyes.

He visibly flinched, attempting to abolish the sensation of indictment that flitted across his flesh. Her calm gaze was calculating, assessing his emotions as if the very notion in itself was a game. He hated it, hated the very manner in which she stared at him, embracing the sadness and guilt that loomed within his heart.

"My medical expertise does not live up to your expectations, I understand that. My education concluded when I left the academy." Shunsui stated dryly, withdrawing his stare from Unohana's piecing gaze.

"Nanao-san may not be the same when she emerges from unconsciousness. I understand that your actions were committed in regard of her life, but your actions, nonetheless, were executed poorly." She retorted calmly.

Shunsui clenched his fists, inhaling a sharp breath of oxygen. He did not want to adopt the appearance of an angry man, unstable and emotionally burdened. He looked at Nanao's frail form, staring defiantly at her head from around Unohana's haori.

"She would have died if I did not act. Reinforcements were lagging behind. I did what I had to do and I do not regret it. " He said fiercely, tearing his eyes from Nanao's body.

"I congratulate you for doing so. I simply implore you to think about the repercussions of your actions. Have you ever considered being tied to another?"

Taking another deep breath, Shunsui glanced at her face, attempting to ease his consciousness. He did not know what to think. Her question had been aimed to confuse him further than he already was. He frowned, running one of his hands through his messy brown hair. He didn't want to consider her question. The very thought burned through his head like lava.

"Tied to another? What are you insinuating, Unohana-taichou?" Shunsui muttered vehemently, searching her face for a sign of weakness.

"It was merely a question, one you have failed to answer. Kido is a fragile thing, Kyoraku-taichou. A simple incantation can mend wounds easily, the same can be said when a person decides to resort to violence. One action, despite its intent, can ruin the physical structure of many things. Please keep that in mind." Unohana murmured gently, scanning the room for a bundle of fresh linin.

Shunsui remained quiet. He decided to watch the moon ascend into the sky from his position across the room, leaving Unohana to work alone in silence. He could faintly detect the sound of gauze as it wove its way around Nanao's flesh. He could see it within his mind as he observed the moon, a pigment of his imagination as gruesome as the blood flowing freely from her wounds.

He sighed quietly, staring at the faint craters indented across the surface of the moon. "Will she be alright, Unohana-taichou?"

She looked at him from her position beside Nanao's futon, her left hand filled with medicinal bandages and bindings. "I believe so." She said finally, wrapping another piece of gauze around Nanao's forearm.

He wanted to believe her. He could feel it within his bones; the description lingered on his tongue, slithering quickly away from every inclination, idea, and conclusion that sprouted within the confinements of his consciousness. He wished he could believe her. A foreboding sense of unease consumed his imaginings, preventing what he wanted to confirm: the very notion of agreeing with Unohana.

A light summer breeze kissed Nanao's skin. It threw her hair high into the sky, weaving and twisting each dark strand through an intricate braid of wind and air. The intensity of the breeze was unnerving; she did not entirely understand it. Each bout of air muddled her emotions and unveiled memories of the past.

Nanao did not want to remember.

With worry, she twisted her fingertips within the grass surrounding her body. She looked up at the bright blue sky, losing herself within the intensity of the color. She listened to the quiet trickle of water, no doubt from a stream nearby. Nanao was happy; she was at peace.

"You have been here for far too long."

Nanao closed her eyes and shook her head. She did not know what her companion was talking about. She lived within this world, a world unlike any she had witnessed before. It was her home, a place deeply entwined in her soul. How could she have overstayed her welcome?

"You cannot stay."

A small frown tugged at the corners of Nanao's mouth. "Why not?"

"You have forgotten something, correct?"

Nanao sighed and quickly moved into a sitting position. Her fingers remained tangled in the grass beneath her legs. She was suddenly afraid to let go. The ground was her only connection to the world harboring her body; it remained stable whereas she did not.

"No," Nanao lied, turning to look at her friend. "I have forgotten nothing."

A laugh floated throughout the air. "Do not be foolish, you know what I speak of. Do you not feel it? A lingering sense of unease?"

The wind tugged at Nanao's hair again, suddenly becoming increasingly vicious. It whispered in her ears, forcing its way underneath the pale kimono that covered her skin. It pulled at her subconscious, making her feel increasing troubled.

"No. I don't know what you are talking about." Nanao said defensively.

Another laugh was carried along the wind. "Your falsehoods are amusing, Nanao."

She scowled when her friend slowly walked towards her side. "What makes you think I am lying?"

The woman smiled and Nanao cursed under her breath. She was certainly beautiful. She wore an intricate kimono that billowed in the wind. It rippled in the sunlight, changing color ever so slightly. Her hair was long and untamed. It hung suspended in the air, flowing within each wind current like a spiraling river. The woman closely resembled Nanao, but that was were the similarities ended.

At least, that was what she wanted to believe.

A thin hand came to rest along her shoulder. "You are like a mirror, Nanao. Your emotions are reflected in this environment."

Nanao resisted the urge to suddenly throw the woman's hand away from her shoulder. She looked out into the distance, frowning at what she saw. The meadow was fading. It was slowly beginning to ripple and waver unsteadily like water. The sight was disturbing; Nanao closed her eyes briefly to dissuade the image.

"You are talking nonsense."

"Don't be so coldhearted. You know I am speaking the truth." The woman paused to tuck a strand of hair behind Nanao's ear. She frowned at the gesture. "It's time to remember the past. You can hide no longer."

Nanao shook her head, sending several strands of ebony tumbling through the breeze. She did not want to embrace the thought of abandoning her comforting haven.

"I can't. There is too much danger out there, too much fear. " Nanao muttered, twisting her fingers deeper into soil that stabilized her consciousness.

"Face your fears. You've never been a coward. You must walk headlong into the past."

Nanao tugged at the fragile vegetation entwined around her fingers, pulling several strands of grass from the earth. She stared at each slender blade, attempting to seek solitude and calm. Each emotion hid from her scrutinizing sight, buried deep within the fear tattooed across her heart.

She looked around fervently, gazing at the summer meadow displayed across her vision. She couldn't control the chaos. Her world was collapsing; she could do nothing about it.

"Help me. I can't do this alone." Nanao said harshly, tearing her soiled fingers from the greenery beneath her fragile form.

"No. This isn't my battle. Not anymore. You must solve this on your own." The women said softly, her hair swirling chaotically in the wind.

She smiled, the corners of her mouth ascending toward the sun. Nanao frowned in return, loathing the manner in which the beautiful woman had displayed her denial, wishing she would reverse the cruel words that had slipped through her lips. The smile stretched across her features suddenly hitched at the last moment, extending gruesomely towards her clear blue eyes.

Nanao leaned forward, her eyes wide in fear. The smirk across her comrade's features shattered suddenly, erupting and crumbling into nothingness like a pane of bulletproof glass. Nanao fell backwards, staring in horror as the woman before her gaze collapsed toward the ground; she had become crystal itself, glittering in the sunlight like dew droplets before dawn.

"I am not ready for this." Nanao whispered quietly, sliding across the grass in a desperate attempt to avoid the remains of her friend.

A silvery laugh resounded throughout the breeze again. Nanao reached up and carefully shielded her head with her hands. She looked around the meadow between the gaps in her fingers, quickly scanning the horizon in an attempt to reclaim her sanity.

The sky had begun to droop, adopting the appearance of a rippling puddle; drops of blue were falling from the clouds like dripping paint. Nanao withdrew her hands from her head, lifting her fingers toward the sky. Her hands, smooth like the surface of a weatherworn stone, slowly cracked and fissured. Violent lacerations roared across her skin. She gasped in horror, sliding further across the grass.

"I don't want to remember!" She cried, watching in vain as the sky splintered like wood.

The meadow began to ripple like the sky above. The putrid smell of gore permeated the air, reminiscent of battle, rising from the ground as if it had always belonged there. The grass beneath her legs died, becoming nothing but soiled earth. She wanted to escape. She wanted to run.

"Come back!" Nanao shouted, waving her hands in the air. "Help me!"

She received no answer.

The wind increased in its intensity, whipping her hair around the contours of her face in a flurry of ebony. The earth beneath her feet slowly melted away, turning into thick plumes of mud. A terrified shriek slipped through her lips as the sunk downward, her kimono completely soiled in the sludge, sliding further into the watery earth.

Nanao shoved her fingers into the mud, attempting to find something secure beneath her sinking body. She gasped as pain abruptly lanced through her limbs, rendering her movements useless. The cuts along her arms and hands had expanded, spilling blood everywhere. In dripped down her skin in thick rivulets, creating narrow crimson streams across her flesh.

As her blood mingled with the mud, the meadow surrounding her fragile form disappeared, vanishing into darkness. It had become a field of muddy water that lurched violently against the wind. Waves of dirty water crashed against Nanao's face, forcing the oxygen from her lungs.

She gasped, kicking her legs violently, surprised when her feet found nothing but endless space within the murky water; the ground did not exist. Nanao whipped her head back violently, sending her hair careening throughout the air. The sky was still dripping and melting away. It met the ground in a kaleidoscope of watery blue, slowly creating a vast ocean.

"No." Nanao whimpered quietly, twisting her head away from another incoming wave. "Please help!"

Her companion ignored her requests once again. Nanao attempted to breathe but failed completely. An inbound wave forced more water into her mouth, eradicating the oxygen residing deep within her trachea. She shrieked in fear, forcing her legs to pump harder. She refused to succumb to her inner world world. She had to win; she did not want to remember.

A serge of agony erupted throughout Nanao's stomach. She cried out in pain, screaming at the top of her lungs. "This isn't fair! I should have a say in this!"

Another wave pounded against Nanao's head, flinging strands of her dark hair into the sky. More water was slipping into the surging sea, leaving little room for breathable air. Her world was shrinking in size, conforming to the fear she displayed. Nanao felt like she was going to drown and slowly die.

She continued to struggle; the pain was becoming unbearable. It lanced throughout her body, reviving images deep from her subconscious. She remembered a man cloaked in blackness, wandering through a nameless forest in the guise of a shadow. She could recall the metallic taste of blood upon her tongue, running across her lips from a wound; she did not remember which one. A face began to appear in her mind and Nanao began to panic.

"No!" She screamed loudly, forcing her legs to pump faster. She shook her head violently, attempting to eliminate the face that was forming in her mind. She saw two brown eyes; a familiar smile. Tears slowly began to drip down the sides of her face. She closed her eyes.

His strong form flitted across her consciousness; it had once been a welcome sight. His dark brown hair, interwoven around a fragile flower ornament, hung across his shoulders wildly. His familiar attire, flamboyant and atrocious, vanished; all she could see was darkness. His face hovered through her mind, trapped within a cage of blackness she couldn't fathom.

The water ascended higher, enveloping her body in a final wave of murkiness. She wrapped her arms around her legs, attempting to hide within herself, screaming his name despite the fear branded across her chest.

She couldn't breathe.

She couldn't think.

His name slipped through her mouth effortlessly, vanishing within the aquatic world that consumed her identity; she didn't know who she was anymore.

She was lost.

The water suddenly disappeared. The chaotic roar of the wind vanished. She opened her eyes, painfully aware that she was no longer suspended within her inner world. She looked around blearily, noticing the faint flicker of candlelight as it danced across the ceiling above her futon.

She couldn't breathe. Each breath that passed through her mouth was labored; an obstacle was deterring her oxygen intake. She groaned, the sound escaping her parted lips quietly, filling the dimly lit room with noise.

Nanao cautiously peered around her body, noticing various white bandages wrapped along the surface of her flesh. She could detect the presence of blood within the gauze, glowing brightly in the candlelight. Her eyebrows rose in confusion. What had happened? Why was she covered in bandages? More importantly, why couldn't she breathe?

She twisted her head to the side, attempting to discover the source of her distress. Nanao grimaced as her body moved, fighting the pain that radiated along her stomach. She couldn't escape the state of immobility that had devoured her body. She was weak; the white-hot pain consuming her fragile form further proved her allegations.

Nanao looked down toward her torso, squinting against the darkness throughout the room. Her sight was feeble, but there was no mistaking what she saw. A man was lying against the fragile flesh of her stomach. He was breathing peacefully, completely unaware of his surroundings.

Her fingers clenched tightly in fear. There was something horribly familiar about the shadow lying peacefully across her torso. She could faintly distinguish a brown sheen radiating from his hair, shining like molten copper within the candlelight. His haori, an unmistakable shade of pink, frightened her. She inched away, her heart lurching painfully as his fingertips brushed against her bare skin.

A scream died within her throat. All she could do was stare. All she could do was glance fearfully at the man who had killed her subordinates in cold blood. She yearned to escape his grasp; she had never wanted to rid herself of his presence before, for staring at his face had always evoked feelings of safety. She gripped the thin cotton sheet surrounding her body violently. Now, she yearned to run away.

A thin, whimper slipped through her lips. She was shaking in fear.

"Kyoraku-taichou." She mumbled under her breath, wishing the fear within her heart would cease.

He flinched.

She cried out.

Withdrawing from the calmness he had managed to attain through sleep, Shunsui opened his eyes.

A/N: Hello, guys! Welcome to the fourth chapter! This was VERY gruelling to write. It was difficult to establish the manner is which Shunsui talked to Unohana, for he doesn't usually act so guarded. Unohana, on the other hand, was even more challenging to portray. This is due to the fact that her relationship with Shunsui is based on mutual understanding. Overall, it was a pain in the behind! We apologize if their personalities were OOC.

Well, we forgot to tell you guys about the song used in Chapter Two. It's the Teddy Bear Picnic song. Yes, it's pretty immature, but it suits Shunsui quite well. The song actually foreshadows what happened to Nanao in the first chapter, oddly enough. She walked through the woods, she met someone in disguise; It makes a lot of sense.

The song used at the start of this chapter is called 'Shadows'. It's by Red!

Thank you guys for following, favouriting, and reviewing this story! You guys are amazing! The response to this story is quite surprising. Please tell us what you think, everyone! Was this chapter satisfying? Why was Unohana being so cryptic? What is going to happen to Nanao? Tell us your theories!

~IronEclipse
-CrystalShardsOfRain