Hello peoples!
This is Wendy! I am super pumped to be getting on with this story *cough* no really I understand how busy Emma has been, and I've been really busy too, so I thought I would give you guys a chapter now so that you won't be waiting forever just because of me :(
I LOVE how Emma left the last chapter, and I have lots of plans, bwahahaha! This chapter will probably be like...extremely long just to warn you :P But I know you guys like long chapters so this is good news :)
So! Review, review, review! They are like sweet candy to our imagination, and they really do encourage us, whereas, no reviews = discouragement. You wouldn't want to be responsible for that now would you?
ON with the chapter then!
Chapter Four: No hope?
I stop a little inside the doorway. Finnick is standing about ten feet in front of me, almost in the middle of the room. He is dressed in a pale green shirt that acentuates his eyes very well, the top three buttons are undone, of course, and he's wearing a pair of black pants. His hair is styled in it's typical capitol Finnick manner, and if it wasn't for his eyes, I would say I'm looking at the capitol Finnick. But no, his eyes are my Finn's.
I can see emotions running through him at rapid speed. Confusion, disbelief, anger, fear, disbelief again. It's like his mind is trying to comprehend what is going on, finally I can see realization dawn on his face, and then his eyes...they only hold pain.
I've never seen him hold this much pain before, not through the games, or after, not when he returned from his first trip to the capitol, not when Bruce died. Not even when I rejected him after he professed his love to me. The pain is like his heart has been shattered in a million pieces.
Comfort him.
I can't.
Yes you can.
No, there's nothing I can do.
Show him how much you love him.
I can't, we're in enough trouble as it is.
We've both been frozen in each other's stare since I walked in the room, no one seems to notice, and I can vaugely hear them discussing who would be the best two for mentors this year.
Finnick's face is so stricken, that I just want to run and fling my arms around him, kiss him with all my love and just hold him. I completely forget that I'm the one who should be comforted, because now I know, this is going to be the hardest and most painful for him. The urge to be close to him is so strong...but I know I can't. The only one who knows about us here is Mags, we can't risk the capitol finding out...more than they already suspect. So I bite my lip, and force myself to stay put.
Suddenly, Finn's face changes, slowly, ever so slowly, the grief fades from his eyes. The pain is still there, but now a fierce intensity grows in them, I've only seen him like this a few times. It's his arena look, it's murder in his eyes. The pain and murder in his eyes merge, until their usual sea green, is tranformed into an emerald fire. I am suddenly very afraid, partly because of how deadly Finnick looks, but mostly because I'm afraid he'll do something that will get him killed.
Finnick is still looking into my eyes, but he isn't seeing me anymore, he's staring at something in his mind, and he is murdering it. Since he isn't actually seeing me right now, I drop my gaze. The conversation that's been going on slowly begins to sink in, and I hear one of the mentors say.
"So why don't we talk a little with our tributes, and we'll see who would suit them best as mentors..."
"I'm mentoring this year!"
Finnick's roar instantly silences everyone in the room. It was like a loud thunderclap, it started out as a boiling rumble before it burst out into a roaring shock. He still has the murderous painful light in his eyes, and his fists and jaw are clenched tightly. The room is silent, all eyes on Finn. He takes a deep breath, and says in a low and dangerous voice.
"I volunteered for the games, so I might as well volunteer as mentor. Anyone who wants to argue..."
He trails off and looks around the room. One of the older mentors, a grey haired man speaks up.
"Finnick, this isn't something you volunteer on..."
"I don't care!"
Finnick's shout cuts him off, and then he adds.
"I'm mentoring this year. I don't care who mentors with me."
Then he spins on his heel and storms out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. There's silence for a few moments, then Mags comes to the rescue.
"Well, it looks like we have our male mentor this year. Who should the female be?"
The copper haired woman steps forward.
"I'll do it Mags."
Mags nods.
"Alright Kendel, you and Finnick will be mentoring this year. That alright with everyone?"
The others nod, then one of the victors I don't recognise mutters.
"I don't see why the kid was so intent on mentoring, we all know what happens in the capitol."
Mags comes to Finnick's rescue by turning on the victor with her scolding look and says quickly.
"You watch your mouth young man! Finnick has to deal with far more %$#& than any of us, and you know it. There's no need to jump to the worst conclusion when you don't know the facts!"
I can't help feeling happy inside.
Good for Mags.
Yes, good for her.
The victor still looks unconvinced, but doesn't say anything else. This isn't good enough for Mags though, oh no, she has to reprimand him further.
"Did you ever think, just maybe he has a good reason for mentoring this year? The girl tribute this year if you didn't realize is Annie Cresta, she's been Finnick's best friend his entire life."
The man turns to me, and seems to recognise me. He immediately looks guilty.
"Sorry, I didn't realize."
Mags nods.
"Good, now you know."
Mags then turns to the copper haired lady, Kendel, and says quietly.
"Finnick is going to have a really hard time with this, go easy on him okay? He needs encouragement."
Kendel nods.
"He doesn't handle grief well?"
Mags shakes her head slowly. Kendel nods again and glances at the door he stormed through.
"I'll look after him Mags, don't you worry."
Mags smiles and pats her arm.
"Thank you."
The train signals that it's time to leave, and the victors start to file out of the train. Ariel and Posiedon are there of course, and they come up to me immediately. Ariel and I have gotten to be good friends, and I can see she's struggling to keep her composer, but even with glassy eyes, she's holding her head high. She gives me a tight hug and says.
"You can do this Annie, if I can make it out, you'll be able to."
I nod, my throat growing tighter. She gives me a quick kiss on the cheek and a tight smile.
"I'll be watching you, don't let me down alright?"
I nod and she turns and exits the train. Poseidon stands for a moment, then opens his arms. I run forward and hug him tightly, he gently puts his arms around me and says quietly.
"Ariel's right little one. I don't doubt we'll see you home soon."
I nod and hold back my sob. He kisses the top of my head and leaves. The other victors are all gone now, except for Kendel and Mags. Mags comes up to me with her most serious face. She holds my shoulders and looks me straight in the eyes.
"You're not as hopeless as you think. You don't have to be a fighter to win."
She's speaking from experiance I know, but I could never kill someone.
"Mags I can't kill someone..."
She shakes her head.
"You don't know that, things change in the arena. I thought the same, but when the time came instict takes over. You my dear have a good head on your shoulders, I have complete faith in you."
She holds my face in her hands and says very quietly.
"Finnick will get you out."
That's what my mother said, can he get me out? No matter how helpless I am?
Probably not.
"Be brave, and think straight."
She hugs me tightly, and kisses my cheek. Then she turns to Kendel and says quickly.
"You take care of them."
Kendel nods, and Mags leaves the train. I stand frozen, staring at the door as it slides shut. I hear the engine of the train begin to warm up and with a sudden impulse I dash to the window. The train speeds away from the station, and I watch District four, my home, my life, the ocean, everything I hold so dear to me, fade into the distance.
Tullio suddenly appears by my side, where he's been I don't know. He looks out the window and says cheerfully.
"Here we go! Isn't it exciting?"
I don't say anything, trying to gather up as many visions of home as I can before it disappears forever.
"In a minute I'll show you two where your rooms are."
Tullio continues, completely oblivious. I lose sight of the ocean, and then the dam breaks. I let out the sob I've been holding back, and run from the room. I know the train, I've been on it when Finn went on his victory tour. I know where I'm supposed to stay. I run straight to my room, slam the door and throw myself on the bed.
That's the last time you'll ever see the ocean, your mother, Mags, home.
I know.
The sobs come thick and fast, and I feel like the ocean that is in my blood is leaking out of my eyes and I'm slowly losing more and more of it. I suddenly desperately need to be near water, so I run to the bathroom and slam my hand against the digital pad in the shower. Water intantly shoots out of six different streams and soaks me. I slide onto the shower floor and hug my knees, my tears running down my cheeks with the water pouring on my head. I'm still fully clothed, but I don't care, I just need to be in water, it has always comforted me. I don't know how long I've been in there when I hear my door open. I don't bother to stand up or see who it is, hopefully they'll just go away and leave me to cry. I glance up as the bathroom door opens, and I stare in shock as I see who it is.
"Finn..."
He pauses for a split second before running into the shower, pulling me to my feet and kissing me. I forget my own grief, because I can feel the pain and suffering that Finnick is going through, I can feel it in his lips, the way he's holding me. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself level with him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me closer to him. He's holding me so tightly I can hardly breathe, but I need to be held tightly, because I feel like I'm going to fall apart.
We're both soaked through now, but neither of us notice or care. We are locked together, feeling the other's pain, feeling the others love.
I don't know how long after it is when I finally pull away and rest my head against his chest. I close my eyes tightly, and breathe in deeply. Despite everything, Finn still smells like home. The sun, the ocean, the beach. All of it is part of him, and it comforts me. He rests his cheek against the top of my head, and just holds me tight. I never want him to let go, I want to be like this forever, I want to be with him, I need to be with him forever.
"I love you."
I begin to cry again as Finnick whispers in my ear.
"I love you more than you could ever know."
He just says 'I love you' over and over, and I can feel his arms trembling ever so slightly, betraying how weak he is right now. I cling to him tightly.
"Finn what are we going to do?"
He doesn't say anything for a long time, finally he runs a hand down my wet hair and says calmly.
"We'll find a way to get through this. We'll find a way to stay together."
I nod and we stay for a while longer, just holding each other. Finally he says quietly.
"Annie, my love, I need to go before I'm missed."
I nod, but don't let him go. I can't. I need him. He's the only thing keeping me sane.
"Finn I can't let you go."
He gently pulls me back and holds my face in his hands. His eyes look straight into mine and he gives me a small smile, the kind he only does for me.
"Annie, you couldn't let me go if you tried."
I frown slightly.
"What is that supposed to mean?"
He chuckles and kisses me on the forehead, right where the lines form when I frown.
"It means that no matter how hard you try, I'll always be with you."
I stretch on tip toe and kiss him.
"You'll always be with me?"
He nods.
"We belong together, so we'll always have a part of each other."
I nod.
"I have to go now love, I'll see you at dinner okay?"
I nod again. He gives me one last long kiss, and then leaves. I hear the door shut, and I take a deep breath. I feel stronger now, I don't know what it is, but I feel like nothing bad can happen as long as Finnick and I have each other, and we'll always have each other. I turn off the shower, and peel my soaked clothes off, then I step onto the pad that instantly blow dries my body, and dress in a pair of comfortable sweat pants and a soft T-shirt. I pull my wet hair into a pony-tail and sit on the edge of my bed.
I eventually fall asleep, worn out from the stressful day. I wake up a little before dinner, and decide that I might as well go to the dinning room. I feel refreshed and relaxed after my nap, and more confident. I know it's mainly because of Finnick, whenever I'm near him, I am the most strong and the most like myself. He's what completes and holds me together. I can't remember ever having an attack when he's around, and I am never anxious.
Maybe I can get through this. Everyone seems to think I can, and Finnick is here to help me. He would never let anything happen to me. I feel confident now, and foolish for my panic attack earlier. I can win this, if I really try, with Finnick's help I can.
You'll have to kill people.
No I won't. I can win without killing anyone. I can run.
You can't run forever.
Well that's true, but I still don't have to kill anyone.
Nobody has ever won without killing at least one person.
Doubt begins to creep back in me, but I take a deep breath, and calm myself. I won't kill anybody, I can't, I don't care what Mags said, I just can't. Can I win without killing anyone?
No.
I need to be near Finnick, I need to feel safe again. I hop off of the bed and walk into the hall. As I approach the dinning room, I hear voices. I slow down, and pause just outside the dinning room and listen.
"You probably don't remember me."
It's Irvin, he's talking to someone.
"No, I remember."
Oh no...it's Finnick. I feel a sense of anxiety wash over me. They've met only a few times before, when Irvin and I were...it's the senario where your ex meets your current boyfriend. I feel slightly better when I remember that Finnick and I's relationship is a secret.
"You're Irvin, we've met a few times before, when..."
Finnick trails off, and Irvin finishes.
"When Annie and I dated, yeah."
There's a moment silence, then Irvin says.
"So you two are still best friends?"
I can tell Finnick is on guard by the way he replies.
"Yes. We've been best friends practically our whole lives, and we'll be best friends for the rest of our lives."
"Well with the way things are..."
Irvin trails off, and there's an uncomfortable pause. I can imagine the look Finnick is giving Irvin right now, but it's not his fault.
"Listen Finnick...um, about Annie."
"What about her?"
Finnick almost growls. Irvin lets out a sigh and says.
"I think we are both on the same page here."
"What do you mean?"
"We both want the same thing."
There's a hesitation before Finnick asks.
"What would that be?"
Irvin lowers his voice, but I can still hear his reply.
"We both want Annie to be the one who goes home."
There's dead silence, and I am so shocked that for a moment I can't even think straight. Before I collect my thoughts, I can hear Finnick saying.
"You obviously know that I want her to come home, but why would you?"
There's a long pause.
"It just makes more sense for her to win. She has more people that care about her, I just have my parents, they'll be alright without me. But Annie, she has her mother, Mags, you, she's close to a couple of the other victors too, I saw them say goodbye to her. She should be the one you try to get home."
There's another pause.
"So you're just giving up? You're not even going to try?"
Irvin replies quickly.
"No. I'm going to protect her, and get her as far as I can."
I can hear Finnick shift as he says.
"Why do you care? She dumped you."
Irvin chuckles slightly.
"That was a long time ago. I don't hold grudges."
"That doesn't answer my question."
Finnick says a little suspiciously. Irvin clears his throat and says quickly.
"You're not the only one who cares about her Finnick."
The shock of this last statement, is outwieghed by the fact that Finnick tends to be a little jealous, and what Irvin just said could make him overreact. So I take a deep breath and walk into the room. Finnick and Irvin both turn to me and say at the exact same time.
"Annie, what are you doing here?"
They both turn and give each other a look. Before any more dirty looks can be exchanged, I say casually.
"Um, dinner is going to be served soon. I'm hungry."
"Oh right, I guess it just slipped my mind."
Irvin says with a shrug. Finnick doesn't say anything, but just gives Irvin a dangerous look behind his back. I know we have to be careful so I just walk up to Finnick and give him a smile.
"Hey Finn. I'm glad you're going to be mentoring me."
He nods slightly and gives me a quick hug.
"Yeah, me too."
Kendel appears out of a hall, and after giving Finnick and I a quick look, she goes and sits down next to Irvin.
"You two might as well sit, dinner will be arriving soon and we need to talk."
Finnick puts his hand on my back and gives me a little push towards the table, I hide a smile as I give him a look that says, 'be good'. I can see his eyes grinning even though he has a perfectly straight face. I walk over to the table and sit across from Irvin, Finnick slides into the seat next to me, and after another small look, Kendel clears her throat and says.
"Finnick, I know we've met once or twice, but we don't really know each other. That could make it difficult for us to work together, but I expect you to be mature and respect my opinion."
Finnick is now in mentor mode, and he seems ages older than nineteen and a half.
"That sounds reasonable."
She nods.
"Good. I don't know your technic in mentoring, but hopefully we won't have too different of views."
Finnick smiles.
"I'm sure we'll get along just fine."
The ghost of a smile crosses her face, but she just says.
"Yes, I'm sure we will."
Tullio arrives dressed in different outfit than before, but it's just as ridiculous as the last. He cheerfully announces that dinner is on its way. Less than a minute later, the food arrives, and I am once again shocked at the incredible food, and the huge portions. Irvin's eyes grow wide at all the different dishes, but I can see he is angry that the capitol has this much food at their disposal, when the poor people in the Districts are starving. He gives me a look, I shrug and start loading a plate full of foods that will help keep me healthy.
Finnick and Kendel talk all through dinner about tactic's, strategies, and lots of other things to do with the games and mentoring. Although Finnick's full attention isn't on me, he slid his hand under the table and is holding mine all through the meal. It's comforting and I'm glad he is thinking of me even when he's occupied.
I only remember a few of the foods I ate, there was some kind of savory roast with potatoes and carrots, a strange creamy soup that tasted like salamon, a sweet salad with nuts and dates in it and lots of fruit. I also had two glasses of wine, I had only tasted it once before, and I enjoyed it immencely, however, wine is very pricey and our money is better spent elsewhere. The wine was very good, although in retrospect it probably wasn't the greatest idea.
After we're all done eating, we retire to one of the lounges to talk more and watch a recap of all the reapings. I'm feeling a little drowsy, probably from the wine, so I quickly sit down on one of the couches. Irvin chooses to sit on the other end of the couch. Kendel sits in a chair to one side, and Tullio chooses one on the other side of the couch. Finnick taps my knee, and I slide over a little, letting him sit on the end. I yawn as Kendel switches on the television, and flips to the channel that will be hosting anything and everything Hunger Games for the next couple weeks. I rest my head on Finnick's shoulder and close my eyes.
"You should watch this."
Finnick says quietly in my ear, as he puts his arm around me. I yawn again and feel myself drifting off.
"I know...I'm just so tired."
I feel Finnick gently brush his fingers up and down my arm.
"Alright. I'll tell you about them."
I can just hear Ceasar Flickerman's voice before I fall asleep.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the seventieth hunger games!"
I wake up as I feel someone slide their arms under my legs and arms and carefully lift me. I know it's Finnick, so I shift slightly and rest my head against his chest. I can distantly hear him tell Kendel and Irvin he's taking me to my room.
Finnick carries me to my room, and gently puts me on the bed. Then he pulls the covers over me and brushes a strand of hair out of my face. His hand lingers on my cheek.
"Goodnight love. Sleep well."
He says quietly, he bends down and kisses my forehead, then straightens up. I slide my hand into his and murmur.
"Stay...please?"
He pauses, and then kisses my hand.
"Not tonight Annie, I'll see you in the morning."
He brushes the back of his hand against my cheek and gently slides his hand out of mine.
"I love you."
I shift slightly under the covers as I murmur.
"I love you too."
He stands there for a brief moment longer, than turns and quietly leaves the room. I lay awake for a while, just thinking of home, and the coming weeks. I don't know if I can make it home, but I know that with Finnick's help I at least have a chance.
Authors Note: Alright, I know it's not as long as I said, but I thought it wrapped up nicely. Emma, you can have the privilage of creating Annie's chariot costume, although I did have some ideas for that so PM me and I'll let you know what I had in mind ;) So I gave you guys some sappy stuff in this chapter, it's the first chapter with Finn so I had to put some mush in there :D I hope you all liked his reaction and attitude for everything...tell me what you guys think of Kendel and Irvin and anything else! Review please! Reviews seriously...if you have ever gotten a review you know what it feels like, wouldn't it be great to give someone else that feeling? Uh huh, so review away! The little button is right down there \/ see you next time!
~Wendy
PS: the little proofread button wasn't working on here so I apologize for any mistakes :P