Set Aside Childish Things
Disclaimer: Characters and premise are the property of Akira Toriyama, I'm just borrowing them for a bit of non-profit fun.
Chapter Four: Different but the Same
Vegeta stared out over a moldering battle field that stretched to the horizon. He watched Frieza's engineered bacteria crawling over the bodies of the planet's former inhabitants. Their last act would be to fertilize the world for it's new owners. In a matter of days the planet would be remade. Then the new owners would move in and they'd repeat the same old mistakes that they'd made on their last planet and everything would play out in exactly the same way.
He'd waited so long for his primary growth phase. Now that it had happened he was stronger than he'd ever been before, but still not strong enough to challenge Frieza. He had his adult height but it would be years until his body had filled out. After all his waiting now he had to wait again. He was off restricted duty, fully healthy again and back to the same old thing. Everything had been remade and nothing had changed.
'At least these guys put up a good fight,' Vegeta thought as he watched the remains of his latest opponents crumble to dust. 'I need strong enemies if I'm ever going to get strong enough to beat Frieza.'
It was time for them to go. They still had to organize the new population's migration. Vegeta activated his scanner. It was easy to pick out Raditz and Nappa; they were the only other higher order organism left alive on the planet. As Vegeta approached Nappa's location he saw a lone building standing among the ruins.
"What the hell are you doing?" Vegeta demanded as he stalked inside.
"Celebrating," Nappa replied. He reached over the bar and grabbed a fresh bottle then poured himself a drink. He raised his glass to Vegeta and grinned. "You're an adult now. It's not my job to protect you from yourself anymore. My duty's done."
"Good, we finally understand each other. Now get off your ass. The job's not done yet. We still have to organize the morons," Vegeta said.
"Our planet's dead," Nappa continued. "Our race is dead; as good as dead. There were never enough females with any great potential, we had to protect them. They never left the planet. We protected them to death. There's no future."
"There's still Frieza to kill," Vegeta said.
"Good luck with that," Nappa said. "I'm done."
Vegeta turned around. He walked outside. He blasted the bar to bits around Nappa. "I am your prince. You will follow me. I will let you know when you have my permission to quit," he stated darkly.
Nappa sighed. He let the remains of his glass drop to the floor. "Whatever you say Vegeta-ouji," he agreed in a lackluster tone. "Whatever you say."
Several weeks later Appura began feeling ill.
Raditz rolled over on his side and watched as Appura bent over the toilet. "This is the third morning you've hurled," he pointed out worriedly.
"It's just a stomach bug," Appura replied. "Not everyone has a cast-iron stomach. These things happen, I'll get over it."
Raditz frowned. "I'm careful about getting you good food," he said.
"Well what can we do anyway?" Appura asked. "Go to the infirmary? Ask if they mind treating a stow-away?"
"It's not like anyone really cares. It's not as if you're the only, um, well." Raditz flushed.
"You mean you're not the only fighter to have smuggled a bed-warmer on board," Appura said.
"You're more than that," Raditz said quickly. "You're my girl."
Appura smiled. "You're sweet, you treat me like I'm important. But I'm not strong enough to fight and I don't know enough to be a tech. I was born camp trash, I'll always be camp trash and Frieza's med-techs don't waste their efforts on my kind, we're disposable."
"I know they act like that, but it's not true!" Raditz snapped. Then he sighed. "Alright, I know we can just walk into the infirmary. I just want to do something. I don't like you being sick."
"I'll talk to the others on the ship," Appura said. "They might know something. At the least they might knew where I could find a backroom practitioner to check me out."
"You find out where to go, I'll get you there," Raditz promised.
"Why did I let you talk me into this?" Vegeta complained. He helped Appura out of Raditz's pod.
The older teenager grinned as he climbed out himself. "Because you like me," he said. "And you know the pods don't carry enough fuel to double up, at least not for a two way trip. So you wanted to loan Appura and I your pod so we all make it back."
"Yes, you calculated it. According to you we've got enough fuel for the return trip just as long as I trade pods with the two of you for the return. And I'm supposed to trust that this isn't going to get all three of us killed," Vegeta grumbled.
"Like you didn't double check my calculations," Raditz said.
"You're an idiot, of course I did," Vegeta replied. "Well, lets go find out what's wrong with the wench. It's disgusting, listening to you talk about her vomiting every morning."
The med-tech operated out of a basement beneath a restaurant on one of Frieza's planets. The med-tech was a woman who was showing some signs of age. Her equipment was older than she was. Vegeta glanced around, wrinkled his nose and went upstairs to eat.
After a few minutes Raditz came up and joined him. He ordered some food then picked at it half-heartedly while watching the door to the clinic.
After Vegeta finished his own food he started snatching things from Raditz's bowls. "My Lord Brat, cut that out," Raditz said. He waved a steak knife at Vegeta.
"I'm hungry and you're not eating it," Vegeta rationalized. He filched another fork full. Raditz's knife thudded into the table. "And you're too slow to stop me," Vegeta added.
"And you're a brat! That was my food!" Raditz protested.
"I'm your prince, you should be more respectful."
"It was my food!"
"I was hungry."
"Then order more! We're in a restaurant you realize," Raditz pointed out.
Vegeta shrugged. "Not as much fun."
"You really are a brat Vegeta-ouji," Raditz said.
"The orange stuff was good," Vegeta commented. "You should order more."
"So you can eat it?"
"Of course. Do you think I care about what you eat?"
"Order your own food squirt."
"I told you: People who call me that give up the right to breath." Vegeta scowled. "It's not even accurate anymore. I grew."
"Not much," Raditz replied.
Vegeta launched himself across the table at Raditz. A few seconds later he was standing with one foot planted firmly on the older teen's chest.
"I surrender," Raditz cried. "From this angle you look extremely tall."
During the brief scuffle the other patrons in the restaurant had drawn back warily. They watched the two Saiyans in much the same way that one would watch an alligator which had wandered into a nursery. From their expressions there would be little surprise from the crowd if the two teens were to suddenly begin murdering innocent bystandards.
Vegeta's eyes narrowed angrily as he scanned the crowds. Sometimes when people reacted like that he felt like living down to their expectations. He didn't really think about the fact that his behavior when he was in a temper more than justified their fear. When he was angry people were little more than moving targets in his eyes.
After a time Appura came back upstairs. She looked tentatively relieved. "I'm not sick," she told Raditz. "I'm pregnant."
Vegeta puzzled over the unfamiliar world for a moment. "The two of you are reproducing? Who thought that was a good idea?"
Raditz glared at Vegeta and wrapped his arm around Appura's shoulders. "I think it's great," he declared.
Vegeta thought about it for a moment. "I suppose you're going to expect my help when you need to come back and pick up the kid," he said.
Appura looked confused. Raditz looked between the two of them then figured it out. "Most races don't use gestation tanks," he explained to Vegeta. "The baby stays in her until it's ready to be born."
Vegeta gave Appura a skeptical look. "Gross. How does it get out? If we try to cut it out of her she'll probably die."
"That won't be necessary," Appura said. "The baby will fit.
"If you say so," Vegeta replied doubtfully.
"The two of you are getting your own quarters," Nappa stated as soon as he heard Appura's news. A week later he tried to recalibrate his scouter in an attempt to separate the fetus' ki reading from Appura's.
"Are there any other females of your species around?" Nappa asked. "Even if your brat isn't particularly strong, it could be the father's fault. Raditz is third class after all."
"There's nothing wrong with Raditz," Appura snapped.
"You're planning on having a girl live with us too?" Vegeta scowled. "There's no room!"
Nappa shrugged. "We can kill the guys in the room to the left of us and take it over," he said.
"More girls, more babies... Nappa you're the one who said they were loud! You're all idiots," Vegeta declared. But idiots or not, Vegeta couldn't miss that Raditz and Appura were happy together.
"Could you try not broadcasting when you do that?" Vegeta asked with irritation and embarrassment when Raditz emerged from his and Appua's room with a sappy grin on his face.
Raditz claimed that the mental link they'd developed was normal for a Saiyan unit. Nappa said it was a remnant from the Saiyanjin's past when their society had been more clan-structured. He said that the Elite had evolved beyond it. But when they'd found Raditz his mind had been like a raw wound from the deaths of his team and family, like a new amputee he'd kept reaching out with something that wasn't there anymore. Somehow his need had woken up the vestige ability in Vegeta and Nappa. It didn't leave much room for privacy.
"Sorry," Raditz said without sounding at all sorry.
Vegeta glared at him. Not so many months ago this sort of thing had been just one more irritating accidental broadcast. Vegeta and Nappa were both too new to the bond to control it completely and Raditz didn't close his mind as much as he should because being alone in his own head reminded him too much of the months of dead silence before Nappa found him. Before it had been one of those things, no different from overhearing whining about being hungry. Now the echos of their couplings left Vegeta aching with want he didn't fully understand.
"What's so great about her anyway?" Vegeta asked. "We find better looking girls on the Purges. It's not like you have to treat them the way Nappa does."
Raditz made a face. "No thanks. Being told 'If it's a choice between dying or having sex with you, I'll have sex with you,' isn't a turn-on. Think about it. That's why we do what Frieza says; he'd kill us if we didn't. You know what we feel about him."
Vegeta grinned nastily. "I'd love to feel his still-beating heart squishing between my fingers."
"Yeah. I'd just as soon not sleep with someone who felt the same way about me, no matter what they looked like," Raditz interrupted before Vegeta could start getting creative. "Appura's a survivor. She took care of herself for a long time before I ever came along. She had plenty of chances to disappear if she'd wanted to. Instead she moved in with me even though she had to depend on me to look out for her while she's on the ship. She'd be better situated to take care of herself on one of the way-station planets but she chose to be with me." Raditz's expression turned sappy again. "Appura's with me because she wants to be with me."
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Who cares? Why do you want her?"
Raditz shook his head. "It won't make any sense," he said. "The first time we met she stomped on my instep then ran off. The second time I pointed out that she couldn't really hurt me. That I'd let her get away. She dumped about a ton of crates on my head and took off again. Eventually she stopped trying to kill me and we started talking and we really liked each other. Having Appura waiting for me is like having a home-port again."
"Why the hell would you put up with that?" Vegeta demanded. He looked at Raditz like the older boy was insane.
Raditz shrugged. "Chasing her was a hell of a lot more fun than catching someone who's spirit was broken."
Several weeks later Kiwi found Vegeta pouring over the logs of planets Frieza wanted purged looking for one that would put up a good fight. "Ah, Vegeta-ouji," Kiwi said with an oily smile. "Frieza-sama was just looking for you."
Vegeta glanced up from the missions roster. "Kiwi, I don't know anyone who enjoys being a toadie as much as you do."
"I just love seeing your face went Frieza summons you," Kiwi chuckled. And Vegeta's gut tightened. For Kiwi to be in that good of a mood Frieza must have come up with something particularly... creative.
When Vegeta got to the throne room and found both Zarbon and Dodoria flanking Frieza and wearing secretive grins the feeling of dread solidified into certainty. In Frieza's army someone else's misery was the surest way to put smiles on people's faces.
Vegeta raised his head a fraction of an inch and marched into the room with the unshakable confidence of a born conqueror. He gave no external signals that he had seen and heard the snickers and knowing glances that passed among Frieza's lieutenants. When he reached the precise center of the room he knelt gracefully. "You have need of me Frieza-sama?"
Frieza grinned nastily. "It has come to my attention that the ship has picked up a vermin," he said.
Vegeta looked confused. "So?" he asked.
"I want you to kill it," Frieza ordered. He snickered. "The vermin is roughly your height with light purplish hair. I've been told it's taken up residence in your quarters and I know how sensitive you Saiyans are about intrusions into your territory... So I thought I'd do you a favor and let you handle it yourself."
Vegeta's mouth tasted like ashes. He was supposed to kill Appura? Radditz's Appura?. They'd have to find a way to sneak her off the ship, send her away. 'We'll have to find someplace safe for her and the baby,' Vegeta thought. He bowed his head. "Thank you for your generosity my Lord. I'll take care of it right away."
He stood up to leave.
"See that you do," Frieza called after him. "You know what happens when you disappoint me."
Vegeta felt black wave of despair and hopelessness wash over him. It was almost redundant when Frieza added. "I'll send Kiwi by to collect the body later tonight. One must take care of such things promptly. If vermin are left uncontrolled they tend to breed, and we can't have that."
Vegeta walked back to his quarter in a state of shock. His mind was completely numb. He killed strangers by the hundreds of thousands on a weekly basis. He spent a good part of every day fantasizing about killing Frieza and his lieutenants. He barely differentiated between putting his fist through a wall and putting it through the skull random individuals who crossed his path at the wrong time... But it had been five years since he'd been forced to take the life of someone he liked. He'd all but succeeded in burying the memory of the sickening sensation of destroying a life that mattered to him. And he'd never tried to rescue anyone again after that miserable failure.
"Shouldn't have let myself get used to her," he thought almost incoherently.
It never occurred to Vegeta to defy Frieza outright. His last attempt at blatant defiance had left him all but shattered physically and mentally. Since he'd been four years old Vegeta had lived directly under Frieza's brutal regime. He lived to destroy Frieza but at the same time he lived by appeasing the tyrant.
Vegeta let the door to his quarters slide shut behind him. He stood silently in front of the door with his head down. After a short time the other three were all staring at him expectantly. The air of foreboding was so thick none of them asked.
Finally Vegeta looked at Appura. "Frieza told me to kill you," he said. His voice was empty of life.
For a second Vegeta's words held them all frozen. Then, in an instant, Appura turned to run for her escape hatch and Raditz lept at Vegeta.
Nappa grabbed Raditz and hauled the third-class fighter back. Raditz howled like an enraged beast and struggled madly.
Appura was half-way into the maintenance shaft when Vegeta caught her. He pulled her back, his grasp was firmly restraining rather than hurtful. Surprised, Appura relaxed fractionally. She let herself hope that he wouldn't kill her. Vegeta's gloved fingers wrapped around her chin almost gently. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
The crack of Appura's neck breaking silenced Raditz's cries for a moment. Vegeta carefully lowered her body to the floor. Raditz ripped himself free of Nappa's grasp. He cradled Appura's body against his chest and keened.
Vegeta made a small, uncertain movement toward Raditz and the older boy's grief turned to rage. Vegeta barely had time to throw up an arm before Raditz was on him. Vegeta couldn't bring himself to fight back even when he felt Raditz's teeth sink into his arm. He realized that the other boy would have ripped out his throat if he'd been given the chance.
Once Nappa saw that Vegeta wasn't going to end the fight he pulled Raditz off his prince and tossed him across the room. Raditz's head smashed against the bulkhead and he was knocked unconscious.
Vegeta stood unsteadily. "Kiwi will come for her," he said. "Make sure Raditz stays out until the body's dealt with." He carefully didn't look at Appura.
"Yes Vegeta-ouji," Nappa replied promptly. He hauled Raditz into the back room. Vegeta stood near Appura, keeping vigil over her body.
When Kiwi came he looked at the body with disappointment. "You actually did it. I thought this time we'd finally get permission to make you beg."
Slowly Vegeta looked at Kiwi. His pitch black eyes were full of hate. They'd take his life long before they took his pride.
"Nothing to say?" Kiwi asked. He picked up Appura like she was a bag of trash.
Vegeta knew he was fast enough to break Kiwi's wrist and take Appura back. She was one of them, he wanted to see that her body was dealt with respectfully. But to do anything would be to give away how close to the mark they'd come this time. He watched Kiwi take her without protest.
During the week after Appura's death Raditz refused to eat. He said nothing, he barely left his bed. The understanding that Frieza would destroy the feeblest attempt to build a new life, and that he'd do it purely out of spite, killed the spark in Raditz that had pushed him past the destruction of Vegeta-sai. His ability and desire to try to rebuild were snuffed out along with Appura.
When they were assigned to a purge Vegeta dragged Raditz to his pod and tossed him in.
"So what do we do with him?" Nappa asked when they reached the planet.
"Nothing," Vegeta said. "We finish the job and take him back. He'll get better when he gets better."
"If he doesn't starve first," Nappa point out.
"He'll get better!" Vegeta snapped.
"Frieza would have torn you apart if you hadn't done it," Nappa said. "You didn't have any choice. It won't be your fault if Raditz kills himself."
Vegeta flinched. "Frieza would have killed all three of us," he insisted. "I am Prince of all Saiyans. It's my responsibility to keep you two alive."
Nappa shrugged. "Whatever you say Vegeta-ouji."
A day after Vegeta and Nappa began the purge the planet's inhabitants came to investigate the pods that had brought their destroyers to the planet.
"It's one of them! Kill it! Kill it now! Before it kills us!"
Raditz was only dimly aware of it as he was dragged out of this pod by the mob.
"No, this one's damaged. We can study it. It can teach us how to kill the other two."
"Those things killed my family! I want to see it bleed!"
"You can help vivisect it."
Raditz felt the sharp prick of a needle. His earliest childhood memories were of people with needles caging him, running tests on him. Despite all their tests they'd been unprepared for the moon's effect on him. In the end he'd killed them all.
The feel of the needle again woke those slumbering memories and Raditz reacted viciously. When the mob had been reduced to random body parts he stopped and looked around like a man just awakening from a long sleep.
Raditz cocked his head to the side almost curiously as he examined his bloody hands. He activated his scouter than located the largest population center left and went to work.
Three days later he caught up with Vegeta and Nappa. Vegeta was in the middle of sending Frieza's new recruits to the most inhospitable climate available on the planet. Raditz silently took his normal place opposite Nappa, flanking Vegeta.
When Vegeta finished with the recruits he turned to Raditz. "So you're alive again," he said.
Raditz watched the recruits as they started preparing for the long and likely bloody trek Vegeta had tasked them with. "We're no better than them," he said in a voice that was harsh from disuse. "Just like them, we'll kill anyone to survive. It's stupid to pretend that we're better now."
He offered Vegeta a twisted mockery of a smile. "So who do we kill now? I'm bored standing here talking."