Hello, Ladies and gentlemen. Hello, hello, hello.
How are you guys? Good? Good. That's good. :3
So, yeah. Life. And Life. And Gaia. And Life again. And double-life. And… yeah, SO not about to explain everything, lol.
But yeah, sorry you always have to wait so long. Thank you so much for keeping tabs on my stories, even though you know that I probably won't update for a very, VERY long time.
But I do try. I'm sorry.
I hope life for all of you is impeccable. :)
You Found Me
Line Four: Until You Opened Up My Eyes
The alarm clock rang.
It was dull and muffled – coming from the bedroom – but he heard it.
Groaning, he shifted, trying to roll over.
He forgot he was on the couch.
Eyes still closed, he fell off the couch.
When he hit the hard wooden floor, he didn't make a sound.
Fighting back another groan, he rolled over on his back and opened his eyes, staring at the blank, white ceiling.
"Please tell me this is Saturday, and not Wednesday," he deadpanned to the empty apartment, still in eagle position.
No one answered him.
Awe, fuck.
Grunting, he managed to stand up, leaning heavily on the couch as his body groaned and creaked in protest.
Grumbling to himself and feeling a little bit like an old man, he made his way to his bedroom, glaring heatedly at the alarm clock from the doorframe as it rang on his bed.
"How did you manage to survive?" He hissed at it, remembering the crunch of machinery he had heard when he had thrown the device against the wall the previous morning, walking over to his bed to pick up the ever-resilient machine and click it off.
The clock didn't answer. Sighing, he set it on the desk and stripped himself of his work clothes, changing for school.
Grabbing his skateboard, he walked out the door and locked it, not even bothering to grab a granola bar – he hadn't even eaten the one he had gotten the day before.
Arriving at the sidewalk, he got on the board and pushed off, his bag bouncing at his side with the movement.
Three more days. He told himself. Three more days – eighteen more class periods. And then weekend. Beautiful, blissful weekend – you can do this!
As he traded journals, binders, and folders with his locker, someone smashed into his shoulder hard, almost making him fall as he grunted in surprise. Before he could turn to see who it was after he regained his footing, a voice breathed threateningly into his ear.
"Stay away from Naruto."
His eyes widened, and he spun to see the person had vanished into the crowd of students.
His lips turned down in a scowl as his eyebrows furrowed.
How did I know this would happen?
He suddenly felt a rebellious urge to go seek out Naruto – to hang on his arm all day and to rub the fact that he could get so close to the blonde all over Sakura's face – he knew that whoever had warned him had been told to by the girl.
After all, that bull-headed bitch's pink hair had a knack for standing out. Telling him herself would've been a bad idea. Didn't want to ruin her, 'good-girl', look to the rest of the student body, you know.
Blinking in thought, he turned back to his locker, holding the door to his locker as if he were about to swing it shut.
He didn't see Naruto until fourth period.
That rebellious urge welled up in his stomach again, but he crushed it. He refused to use Naruto as a tool for his own gain. He knew that in doing so, he only sealed his OWN demise.
Sighing, he raised his left hand, absentmindedly fingering the socket where his right shoulder met torso and remembering the last time he had been rebellious – in junior high. Those medical bills had been a pain to pay off.
He had no wish to end up in that white-walled prison again.
Closing his eyes, he shut his locker, heading for his first class.
------------------------- --------------------- ----------------------- -------------------
Pre-calculus and Biochemistry had passed without hindrance, and Sasuke was eternally grateful for that.
He was in the library now during break between second and third, wandering among the fantasy and science fiction isles as he searched for an appropriate book for his English class.
The place was relatively empty, and Sasuke prayed he wouldn't run into Naruto. But knowing the idiot, he wouldn't dare set foot into a place that required people to keep their mouths shut. He wouldn't last two seconds in the place.
Sasuke smiled softly as he thought that, his fingers wandering across the spines of books – some old, some new – on a shelf six inches above eye level as he leisurely read the titles, enjoying the quiet.
The dull thump of a book falling to the ground near him met his ears, and he looked down to see a well-worn book on the floor next to him, back cover up.
Blinking, he kneeled down to pick it up, but as the very tips of his fingers touched the worn cover of the book, petite fingertips landed gently on top his knuckles, soft and smooth against his skin.
Eyebrows furrowing in confusion and curiosity both, Sasuke raised his eyes to lock them with wide silver ones.
The Uchiha blinked, recognizing those eyes.
What the…?
The owner of the eyes blushed, hastily pulling her hand away.
"I'm s-s-sorry," she stuttered, her voice soft and gentle as she bowed her head. Sasuke surveyed her, head cocked in an unthreatening gesture as he took in her short indigo hair and small frame. "I d-d-didn't mean to d-d-drop it."
Awe, she has a stuttering problem. Sasuke thought, seeing the other beside him as a small child. He smiled inwardly. Cute.
"That's all right," he told her quietly – both to reassure her and to keep the librarian from storming up to them. That woman had the ears of a wolf – with a ruthless side to match. He handed the girl the book, which she slowly took with trembling, delicate fingers and a murmured, stuttered 'thank you'. "I've never seen you before – are you new?"
The girl blushed with more ferocity, not meeting his gaze.
"Y-yes," she replied softly – so softly that Sasuke wouldn't be able to hear her if they weren't in a library. "I t-t-transferred just a f-few hours ago." She bowed her head in a gesture of respect. "I-I-I'm Hinata Hyuuga. N-N-Neji Hyuuga's cousin. P-p-pleased to meet you."
Sasuke – eyes sparkling – she really is the cutest little girl – smiled at her.
I knew I recognized those eyes from somewhere.
"And I'm Sasuke Uchiha. Nice to meet you too. What grade are you in?"
She looked away at the bookshelf, the red never leaving her cheeks. Sasuke wondered if she ever spoke with men before.
Though I can hardly count as a man in the eyes of the populace…
"F-f-freshman," she replied quietly. The small, reassuring smile never left the Uchiha's face. Reaching out, he gently took her hand and stood, helping her up as she breathed soft thanks.
She only came to his shoulder.
Realizing the difference, she blushed even more as Sasuke gave her a smile.
"Well, it was very nice to meet you, Hinata. I'm a junior," he told her warmly. He turned to leave, waving over his shoulder. "I'll see you some other time. Good luck at the new school!"
Hugging the book to her chest, the girl watched him go with wide eyes before they narrowed and she looked away, blushing and tightening her grip on the book.
"It was n-n-nice to meet you t-too," she murmured to the empty isle. "Sasuke Uchiha."
------------------ ------------------- --------------------- ------------------ -----------
As Sasuke changed for Athletics, he was grabbed roughly by the back of his collar and whirled to be slammed into the lockers, one lock digging uncomfortably into his lower back as he winced.
Ugh. Not again.
Jirobo smiled at him, the sneering quality to it twisting the expression into something grotesque. Kidomaru and Sakon were at his sides, watching.
"How is our wittle fag-baby duwing today?" Jirobo asked in baby talk, making Sasuke fight against the urge to roll his eyes at how totally immature that sounded.
"Fine, thank you," he replied, keeping his voice blank. He shifted slightly beneath Jirobo's hold. "Mind letting me go?"
The grip tightened, and Sasuke bit back a grunt.
Jirobo snarled at him.
"I'll do what I want with you, faggot!" He hissed. Sakon shifted behind him.
"But to the matter at hand," he stated, drawing Sasuke's attention. The white-head's expression was carefully blank, and the Uchiha thought that he was the most sensible of the group. "It seems you're creating quite a stir with the attention the newcomer – oh what was his name again? – yes, Naruto," he stretched out the blonde's name, searching Sasuke's face for some sort of reaction when the Uchiha was only too delighted to give him none "is giving you. We've been told to warn you: Stay away from Naruto."
Sasuke had to grin. But with everything that was happening, it was more like a grimace of pain.
"Heh – yeah. I bet you were told to warn me – by Sakura, I'll bet. Her and her bloodthirsty bitch buddies – Kin and Ino. Tell me, what on earth do YOU three get out of this?"
Jirobo and Sakon could only blink dumbly for a moment – never in their knowing of Sasuke had the Uchiha called anyone a bitch – especially those three girls. This was a strange new occurrence.
And it made Sasuke feel wonderful.
Heh. I should do this more often.
But he knew he couldn't.
He blamed his actions on the lack of sleep.
I should REALLY find a way to make better money – or at least beg either Zabuza or Kakashi to give me a raise.
Kidomaru, however, was distracted by something else. He laughed into his hand.
"Heheheh – 'bloodthirsty bitch buddies'… how is THAT for a tongue twister?"
I don't think Zabuza would do it.
Slowly, Sakon and Jirobo turned to stare at him, giving the remaining member identical looks of disbelief.
Maybe Kakashi. He seems more lenient.
"ANYWAY," Sakon began loudly, drawing the others' attention. Sasuke surveyed him.
I'll ask him tomorrow.
"Don't tell me you don't agree," the raven stated. "Making my life hell may be fun for you, but that doesn't mean you don't think those three bitches are annoying like hell."
Thankfully, I don't have to work at Bondage today.
They were shocked again – Sasuke had called those same girls bitches again – that was twice! In less than TWO MINUTES! Good God, what WAS the Uchiha smokin'?
Even Sasuke didn't know.
Woot.
All he knew was that it made him feel good.
Yay for more sleep!
He also blamed his inner conversation with himself – one that had nothing to do with the conversation in real life – on lack of sleep as well.
I REALLY need an energy drink.
But the Uchiha had been right, Jirobo had to agree.
But I don't have any money.
…
DAMMIT!
"Tsk. So what if Sakura told us?" Jirobo growled, tightening his grip. "It doesn't matter – stay away from Uzumaki! If you don't…" he leaned forward, never breaking eye contact. His hot breath – stinking of cigarettes this time – washed over the Uchiha, and he fought from coughing. "I guess we'll just have to remind you of what happens when you don't obey. Isn't that right…" his fingers drifted to Sasuke's right shoulder, and the Uchiha – in a split second of panic – thought Jirobo was going to dislocate it. (Oh GOD not again –) The elder teen's breath tickled his skin. "Faggot?"
"Three minutes, gentlemen!" The coach called from his office. The three turned to the office before looking back at the Uchiha. Slowly, Jirobo released Sasuke's gym shirt.
"You've been warned," he hissed before the three turned away, heading to their own lockers. Biting his lip, Sasuke leaned back against the lockers and fought against sobbing in frustration, clenching his shoulder as if Jirobo had truly popped the bone out of place.
He could already feel the pain – could already see the stained white walls.
He began to shake.
Is Naruto really worth all this?
He didn't want to know just yet – attempting to wipe his mind blank, he headed for the gym.
------------- ----------------------- ------------ -------------- ------------- -----------
It was only when he walked into English did Sasuke remember that he hadn't found a book for that same class.
Oh yeah. I remember why I didn't. That girl at the library…
Her childish ways made him fight down a smile, and he walked over to his seat, ignoring Sakura and the other two's heated glares as he sat down, also refusing to catch Naruto's eye.
He was tired – Anko really knew how to work him so hard his brain literally stopped.
And he was grateful for it.
Leaning forward, he made a pillow with his arms on his desk, resting his head on them and closing his eyes. They still had twenty minutes after the bell rang before the teacher showed up.
Vaguely, Sasuke wondered why their teacher was always late.
I wonder if he knows Kakashi…
A few minutes passed, and a little clip of folded paper against wood met Sasuke's ears, making him blearily open his eyes to see a folded piece of paper by his nose, but made no move to pick it up.
He knew who it was from.
And he remembered.
His shoulder suddenly started to throb –
Dammit NO!
Not looking Naruto's way, he lazily raised a hand and unfolded it with that hand, reading the single line.
"I told you working until four was a bad idea."
Sasuke's chest suddenly began to ache, and he cursed himself for reading the note to begin with. Naruto was worried about him.
No. He's not worried about you. That other voice said. He's just saying that to rub it in your face – to make you feel inferior to his judgment. He doesn't care for you at all.
With that strengthening his resolve, he calmly folded up the paper and set it back down on the wood.
Closing his eyes, he flicked it off the desk onto the floor.
He let his hair fall into his face, shielding him from what he knew to be Naruto's shocked gaze as he buried his face in his arms, trying to find a comfortable resting place.
It's for the best.
At least that's what he kept telling himself.
Dammit, you're always alone! You should've gotten rid of him right when he started trying – you should've crushed his hopes and forced him to run back to the crowd he belongs to with his tail in between his legs! But since you were weak, he's trailing behind you like some happy, delusional MUTT, and now he won't leave you alone!
His fists clenched, but his face remained blank behind the dark shelter of his bangs.
Dammit Naruto!
Sasuke hoped the blonde would blame his actions on tiredness, and stop trying.
He eventually did – after four tossed notes that were left ignored where they landed as Sasuke tried to snooze.
The Uchiha was clenching his jaw so hard behind his hair he thought his teeth would crack.
Don't look at him don't say a word –
And finally Genma appeared.
Sasuke raised his head at the sound of the teacher's voice and started paying attention, holding his head up with the arm closest to Naruto, so that his face was shielded from the blonde's searching gaze.
I just want this class to be over –
But he still had two more classes to go.
Not to mention lunch.
Awe, shit.
When the bell rang, he fled.
-------------------- ----------------- ---------------------- --------------- -------------
He didn't bother going to his tree. He knew the moment Naruto saw him amidst the multitude of students, the blonde would chase him down – dog he was.
Thank God most of the kids here have dark hair!
Sasuke bolted through the crowd, using his small size to duck and weave between the teens and burst outside, sprinting along the grass and ducking into the shadows of the trees outlining the large clearing.
He knew this place well.
Leaping over a small fallen log, he jogged through the trees until the clearing was out of sight, and the forest – or at least, he liked to think of it as a forest, far away from anyone or anything where he could be alone in blissful solitude – was silent.
Letting out a sigh of relief, he set his bag down and leaned against it, sliding down to the cool grass and closing his eyes. So far so good – Naruto hadn't called out to him, and as far as Sasuke knew, the blonde hadn't managed to follow.
Opening his eyes, he looked up at the leaves, remembering the multiple times the mockery and hateful punches had grown too much to bear, and he had run into the trees the first moment he could, taking shelter underneath their powerful branches, and curling up, nearly crying – nearly breaking down.
But of course he was an Uchiha. Dead family or not, he couldn't cry. They wouldn't have wanted him to.
No, not dead family. He thought vaguely, eyes half-closed and dull as he stared up. Dead parents.
No. It's a dead family and you know it. The voice hissed angrily. Itachi is gone – he abandoned you the day your parents died – he LEFT you to die!
Sasuke bit his lip, closing his eyes and scrunching up his face in an effort to fight down a hopeless, frustrated scream, but didn't move his head from where he had lifted it, baring his throat to the tree trunks as his shoulders began to gently shake.
A deep, heart-wrenching sore had formed in his chest, weighing so heavily on his heart that it threatened to crush it beneath the strain as a picture of his brother appeared in his mind.
Itachi…
--------------- ------------------ -------------------- ----------------------- -----------
"Brother!" Little four-year-old Sasuke yelled, running after his elder of five years. "Big brother – wait!"
He did, and Sasuke collided with his back, wrapping his small arms around the elder one's hips.
"Brother!" The little one gasped as the elder looked down at him kindly. "Will you carry me?"
The other blinked down at him before smiling broadly.
"Sure!"
Placing his hands underneath Sasuke's armpits, he easily lifted up the child, shifting the boy so that he sat on his shoulders. The younger brother cooed with delight.
"Wow!" He exclaimed, grinning. "Everything looks so small from up here!"
Itachi smiled in response, ignoring the slight pull Sasuke put on his hair as he held his little brother's calves to keep the younger from falling off.
"You'll become as tall as this one day, Sasuke," Itachi told him confidently. "Mother and Father are so proud of you."
Sasuke smiled down at his brother's scalp.
"They're really proud of you too, big brother!" He exclaimed happily. "You know that!"
Itachi smiled as they walked back to their home.
"Yes," he replied softly. "They're proud of us both." His features darkened. "Or – at least – Mother is."
Sasuke's eyes opened, and he solemnly looked down at his brother's head.
"Brother?"
"Yes?"
"Why does Father hate me so much?"
Itachi paused in his step for a moment, but continued on.
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you, Sasuke," he stated after a moment of thoughtful silence. "I'm sure there's a reason that he does what he does – I'm sure it's just out of love."
Sasuke buried his face into his brother's hair and breathed in the smell of his shampoo.
"I hear them fighting sometimes – Mother and Father," he began quietly. "Mother says Father doesn't do it because he loves me – and that he should stop. Sometimes, she says he doesn't love me at all."
This time, Itachi did pause, simply staring ahead for a moment. Then, he gripped Sasuke's waist and hauled him off his shoulders, setting him down decisively in front of him. The littler one merely blinked up at the elder as Itachi kneeled, locking eyes with his younger brother.
"Even if that IS true, Sasuke," he began, his voice full of more love than Sasuke had ever heard before – his voice was nearly shaking with the ferocity of it. "I promise to protect you! No child deserves to be hurt like this, and Mother tells us that we both deserve the same! If Father doesn't hurt me, why should he hurt you? So I promise – I'll do my best to protect you!"
Sasuke blinked up in awe at his elder brother, and his eyes narrowed as tears sprung up in his eyes.
"BROTHER!"
He launched himself into Itachi's arms, and his brother wrapped his arms around him, burying his nose into Sasuke's unruly hair and closing his eyes.
"I promise, Sasuke."
Then the scene changed.
With a cry, the small seven-year-old child flew through the air, landing with a crash against the bookcase. If the shelves hadn't been made of solid wood, the structure would've collapsed on the child. But they were sturdy, and they held firm.
Tears in his eyes, Sasuke raised his head to look at his father, who towered over him.
"I'm sorry, Father!" He sobbed. "I didn't mean to break any rules – I swear!"
"I thought I told you NEVER to talk to those children!" His father snarled in response, looking absolutely livid.
"But they just wanted their ball back!" Sasuke exclaimed, fearfully forcing his voice to work. "Itachi saw – their ball just got into our yard and they wanted it back! So I tossed it over! That's all! That's really all!"
His father whirled to the boy's elder brother.
"ITACHI!" He roared behind him. The boy was hurting so much – he couldn't raise his head to see where Itachi was. "DID YOU SEE ANYTHING?"
There was silence for a moment.
Then Itachi's, calm, collected voice – as if he didn't even CARE for the situation – was heard.
"I saw nothing," he stated.
But he had been there.
The child's father whirled to face him again, and the boy shook with fear on the floor.
"Please Father –!"
"Little LIAR!" His father roared, leaning down to easily pluck the young one from the ground by the collar, raising him high above his head.
The child began to cry, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother and his mother standing in the hallway, the latter looking fearful while the former had a blank, impassive face.
"Brother!" Sasuke cried raggedly right before his father launched him across the room. "BROTHER!"
But Itachi held back – like he always had. The promise the elder had made three years ago lie trampled on and forgotten in the dust as he watched his father in his drunken stupor.
"Fugaku – stop this!" His mother exclaimed. "He's just a child – you're going to kill him!"
"STAY OUT OF THIS, MIKOTO!" The man roared. "Or YOU'LL be next!"
"It'll be better than watching you mutilate my son!" She bellowed back, trying to go forward.
Itachi stopped her, whispering something in her ear. She gazed at him in shock, frozen in place. It looked like she was about to slap him clear across the face when Fugaku – apparently through with tormenting Sasuke for the time being – threw him at his mother.
Sobbing, he grabbed her waist, pressing himself into the folds of her dress as she wrapped her arms around him.
"My poor babe…" she cooed in his hair, beginning to sob with him. "Oh baby, if I could take you away, I would – make no mistake. If I could…"
Everything was in Fugaku's name. If she left, she'd be left with nothing except a second mouth to feed.
She couldn't.
She could only hold him tight.
"Make sure to OBEY me next time, boy!" Her husband roared before storming off.
Cradling Sasuke to her breast, she lifted him up, setting his weight on her hip as he cried into her chest, clinging for dear life. Mikoto shot her eldest son an angry look.
"Go to your room," she told him. Without another word, he obeyed, and Sasuke raised his face from his mother's chest to watch him leave.
Big brother…
-------------------- ------------------ --------------- ---------------- ------------------
Sasuke was only aware he had begun to cry when salt water moistened his lips and wet his tongue.
His eyes snapped open, and he shook himself to rid his mind of the memory, shaking his head vigorously.
There's no use THINKING about that anymore!
But it was already too late.
The ache had appeared in his chest – pulsing and sucking all control out of his body – and it wasn't going anywhere.
Sighing, he drew his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and setting his chin on his knees, eyes half-closed and eyebrows furrowed in sadness as the tears dripped down his face to fall onto his uniform.
He sat there for a few moments before releasing his legs as a sudden thought occurred to him, leaning back against the tree and slipping a hand inside one of the pockets of his bag, rummaging inside.
He pulled out a small, folded piece of paper. Closer inspection saw it was a picture.
Carefully – as if afraid he would tear it – he unfolded it, looking at what it held.
He looked at his most treasured possession in the world.
Or – at least one of them. The other is at the apartment.
He had never called that place 'home'.
The picture had been taken over ten years ago – back when he had been only five. Back then, everything had been happy, and the beatings had been less severe, and they had come less and less frequently.
He was sitting on his mother's lap in their backyard during the spring – when the flowers had been bursting in bloom and the sun always seemed to be shining. His mother had been sitting on the stone bench in the middle of the rose garden, and the blooms had been well taken care of that year – seeing as how the flowers were bursting in brilliant colors of red and pink and yellow and white behind them in the background.
Mikoto had been wearing her prettiest summer dress – a bright blue one with lace on the sloped neckline and embroidered sunflowers reaching to her knees that were so well done they seemed to be real at first glance. Her eyes twinkled in happiness and her dark cocoa brown hair flowed down her shoulders in endless, curling waves, accentuating her bright green eyes. Her mouth was pulled wide in a smile, and her arms tenderly held her littlest son, who had been jostled by his elder brother the moment before the picture was taken.
Sitting next to his mother on the bench was his brother – his arms were around little Sasuke's tiny waist, holding him lovingly to a ten-year-old chest. Itachi and his mouths' were wide open in bright smiles identical to their mother's, their black eyes twinkling identically in mirth as Sasuke leaned back, his arms in the air due to surprise. It was only the time in between Itachi's grab and the time the picture was taken that kept him looking at the camera. Behind the three leaned their father, whose hands were on Mikoto's left shoulder and Itachi's right, pressing them closer to him and each other as his lips hinted at a small smile while he looked at the camera from above their heads.
The sun had been right above them, making shadows minimum and causing each face to be bright and happy.
Sasuke was sure that that had been the best day of his life.
After the picture had been taken, it had only spiraled downhill into disaster.
Looking at the picture – that frozen time, as if no time had passed at all – brought nostalgia and tears to his eyes again, and he fought from letting more tears leak out, rubbing his eyes furiously from behind the glasses to keep them at bay.
For not the first time, he wished nothing had changed.
God I want you back so badly –
But he knew his parents couldn't do it. Not even his mother – who he knew would've gone to hell and back to make him smile, even if it was for a moment – could make such a feat possible.
He could only hope she was up there, safe and sound.
Good God I can't TAKE this anymore –
Thinking no one was there watching him – knowing no one was there watching him – he allowed himself to press his face into his knees and cry, the folded picture clenched tightly in his fist with his glasses in his lap, sandwiched between his lower stomach and upper thighs.
He felt that same despair that had plagued him eternally those first few years, and sobbed harder, fighting to be silent as his shoulders began to shake.
Please GOD someone help –
Then it began to rain.
Thunder crashed violently overhead, and Sasuke's inner turmoil was mirrored in the heavens as lightning and thunder battled, the former flashing constantly and brightly while the latter slammed and rolled, echoing along the clouds and making the very earth seem to shake.
Defeated, Sasuke raised his head from the cradle of his knees, tears mingling with rain as he looked up into the leaves, watching them become illuminated by the lightning.
Dully, he wondered if the bell had ringed.
He found himself not really caring as he stared upwards, drops of rainwater falling off the leaves above him and landing in the corners of his eyes, mixing with his tears.
He didn't even blink.
Mother?
She had always liked the rain.
Thunder boomed and crashed above in reply as lightning flashed. Vaguely, he remembered that it wasn't safe to be near a tree during a lightning storm, so he lifted himself up and numbly reached down; grabbing his bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he put his glasses back on and shoved the picture back where he had gotten it.
I'm not going back.
The world suddenly tilted, and he instinctively leaned against the tree until his vision cleared, his face feeling a little cooler than usual.
It's just the rain.
Without another glance, he left, walking through the woods seeking to jump the high brick wall and find refuge in the streets.
He didn't notice a pair of sea-colored eyes that had been watching in pain the entire time.
-------------------- --------------------- --------------------------- --------------------
Sasuke succeeded in vaulting over the wall and onto the sidewalk easily as the storm continued to rage, his hair and clothes soaking but his glasses tucked safely away in his bag. The rain was coming down so hard – he wouldn't be able to see anything with them anyway. Everything was misty – hazy – and Sasuke relished in the lack of sight.
If you can't see nothing can hurt –
But something was strange – he felt light-headed, dizzy – and he was finding it unusually hard to walk in a straight line – he had to rest his hand against the stone wall as he walked, using it to guide him.
He blamed it on the lack of glasses – his eyes weren't used to it and they burned.
Ice cold droplets of rain stung against his skin as they fell, the storm – despite the ferocity – carrying very little wind with it. The rain fell relatively straight, and – due to the fierceness of the storm – the streets were abandoned.
Hm. My bag's getting soaked. I should find some way to keep the papers dry.
No. Never mind. There's just binders… and folders… in there. They're waterproof. They should be fine.
In the chaotic flashes of lightning and the rolls of thunder and the pounding echo of rain, Sasuke didn't realize anyone was following him until they had reached the shelter of an overhanging awning, the sounds of rain muffled by the water-repellant cloth.
"Where are you going?"
He instantly recognized the voice. Fighting down a scream – why the hell can't these FUCKERS just leave me alone? – he whirled to face the other.
"Why the hell should it matter to you?" He spat viciously, wanting nothing more than to crawl into his bed and sleep until he had to go to work.
It was then he realized he left his skateboard in his locker.
Awe, SHIT –
"Look, did I do something wrong?" Naruto asked, his face swimming in Sasuke's vision as the Uchiha fought to bring the blonde into focus, the other being nothing but a mop of blonde hair. "You've been ignoring me AND avoiding me ever since English! AND I saw Sakura talking to Jirobo and them – what on earth is going on?"
Sasuke felt a pulse of contempt.
Only been there for a day and ALREADY he knows the Sound Four's names, huh? Just PEACHY –
"That's none of your concern!" He snapped, using the mop of bright yellow in his vision as a guide. "If I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to talk – okay? Fuck off!" He whirled to continue walking, uncaring if he couldn't see worth a damn.
Naruto's eyes narrowed.
"What the hell is your problem?" He demanded.
Sasuke spun to face him again, all the pain of nine years of torment boiling within him, bursting to get out.
"Well, YOU, obviously!" He hissed, his face heating up. "Mr. Popular and his pack of jealous bitches for groupies!"
Naruto looked as though he had been slapped.
But Sasuke couldn't see it.
"What do you MEAN, 'pack of jealous bitches for groupies'? Sasuke, what the hell have they been doing to you?"
Sasuke glared at him.
"I wonder, dammit!" He snapped irritably. "This NEVER would've happened if you had decided to just listen to fucking Sakura and her pig-for-a-friend Ino! Why couldn't you just shut up and STAY WHERE YOU BELONGED?"
Naruto glared back.
"STAY WHERE I BELONGED? What the HELL, Sasuke? Who are YOU to decide WHERE I belong and where I don't?"
The Uchiha fought back the urge to punch the blonde in the face. Something – something about this idiot in front of him drove him up the wall with rage.
That and his entire body seemed to be scalding hot.
"It's common SENSE, Naruto!" He bellowed. "You have family, you're RICH! I, however, am the 'faggot'!" He did the quotation symbols with his fingers. "I work two jobs, I have NO computer, TV, OR cell phone!" He labeled them off on his fingers. "I have long hair, glasses, my only source of transportation is a piece of wood on a pair of axles, and my only family is a homicidal MANIAC for a brother, who hasn't even WANTED me as his brother for over nine years! Where do you THINK you belong, Naruto? You have no place with me – your place is with the other rich jocks on the football field, okay? So just STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
Every frustration, every rage, every source of anger he ever possessed came roaring out in a bitter wave, and Sasuke thanked the fact that water was dripping from his hair onto his face, because he was sure he was crying again.
Naruto merely stared at him as if the Uchiha had slapped him across the face.
Again – Sasuke couldn't see it. Glasses were there for a reason.
Every instinct in the Uchiha's body told him to run – to just whirl and dash out into the rain – but something in the blonde's gaze – the thing that made his back muscles stiffen and face flush and knees lock – held him back.
Something kept his feet glued to the ground.
The same thing that made his heart wrench in pain.
But of course, he didn't know that.
When the blonde spoke, his voice was quiet – soft.
"Do you really think that, Sasuke?" He asked gently.
Sasuke's anger boiled again, and he found from sobbing out loud – both pain from sadness and rage mixing together in his stomach.
"Before you came –"
Before you came –
"I was perfectly fine –"
I was ready to die –
He remembered the hope that had risen in his chest at Naruto's words to him in the restaurant, and the pain that tore him apart when he ignored the blond during English class.
I CAN'T!
"UNTIL YOU MADE EVERYTHING MORE OF A HELL THAN IT ALREADY WAS!"
Until you opened up my eyes.
Bitterly, he spat out those last words, while everything in his heart begged from him to stop.
I can't drag him down!
He told himself that he was doing this for Naruto – doing this for the blonde alone and NOT for the selfish child inside of his heart – the one that refused to accept change – the one that wanted nothing to change, no matter how horrible he had to be to a person to keep it that way or no matter how good that change seemed – the one that screamed out in hatred and pain.
The one that was deathly afraid.
Sasuke thought that he would've fallen to his knees had his pride not held him up. He suddenly felt so weak –
Naruto solemnly looked at him, anguish reflecting in his wide eyes.
The same anguish that ravaged Sasuke's heart.
But – once more – the Uchiha was blind to it.
Just turn and leave, dammit! Forget you ever met me – forget we ever got CLOSE to becoming close!
He silently begged Naruto obey him – to turn his back on him and forget he ever existed.
It would be so much easier for us both –
Then why did his heart hurt so much?
Naruto closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them again.
"Okay," he stated, his voice blank. "If that's what you want – that's fine. I'll do it. But at least let me walk you to your apartment before I do – you don't live far, right?"
Sasuke glared at him.
"What makes you think I'm going to my apartment?" He snapped.
Naruto gave him a grim smile.
"Where else CAN you go?" He asked.
Sasuke blinked at him, realizing his point. Meekly, he followed Naruto out from the awning and into the rain, the blonde allowing the Uchiha to go in the front to lead the way back the way they had come.
The downpour had lessened slightly, but Sasuke still couldn't see, so he pulled out his glasses and put them on, letting everything go into sharper focus instantaneously.
They said nothing as they walked, the air between them tense and awkward. The Uchiha – quite frankly – was surprised that Naruto had acted the way he did. He had actually expected the blonde to violently lash out – to beat him down to the ground for ever speaking to him like that.
On a certain level, Sasuke wished he had. At least he knew how to deal with physical pain. At least the separation would've been easier to deal with – he could've used hatred as a weapon to help him do it.
But this tender understanding – Naruto's kind voice when he offered to walk him back – it had been just too much. Sasuke's heart was being torn in two – he didn't know what to do with himself around the blonde now.
His heart still ached, and he yearned to take back everything he had said – to take back everything and apologize to the blonde over and over for acting like such a total dickhead.
But he stayed silent.
He was a coward, after all.
They were passing the park when Naruto spoke.
"How much further is it?" He asked, his voice blank albeit for slight curiosity. Sasuke didn't trust himself to look at him.
"About twenty-five more minutes," he replied in that same tone, minus the curiosity.
A part of him cried out to the blonde, and he viciously bit his lip to stop from blurting out nonsense as his vision swam.
Dammit you stay FOCUSED –
He glanced over at Naruto – they had started walking side by side now – to see the other's face clouded with thought.
His eyes narrowed.
I wonder what he's thinking…
Fighting to keep his balance for another twenty-three minutes, he forced himself up the five flights of stairs, gasping when he normally would've been unfazed.
Dammit what's WRONG with me –?
Upon reaching his floor's landing, he blinked hazily to see a group of people around his door.
He recognized one of them, and ran forward, panic seizing his heart as his vision suddenly cleared.
Oh God what happened –?
"Mrs. Otogowa!" He called, running to her with Naruto following close behind. The elderly woman that lived on his floor turned to him.
"Oh, Sasuke!" She exclaimed. "I'm so sorry dear! I didn't see who did it – there was all this noise, and my vision is so bad, you see –"
"Mrs. Otogowa, what're you –"
Sasuke had pushed through the crowd surrounding his door to stop dead, staring at his apartment door.
"– talking about?"
Except there wasn't a door.
It had been crashed in.
Oh please God no –
He heard Naruto suck in a breath beside him.
The apartment was completely trashed.
Wallpaper was torn off, the couch was ripped apart, chair pieces were thrown across the room and the windows were busted with heavy brick. Two holes had been punched in the wall separating the main room from his bedroom, and everything was covered in cynical spray paint messages.
Sasuke felt his heart drop into his feet as his fought to keep his balance.
Oh GOD no –
"STAY OUT OF OUR SCHOOL!"
"FAGGOT!"
"SLUT!"
"MAN-WHORE!"
"DON'T SHOW YOUR FACE AGAIN!"
"CRAZY FAG!"
"WE DON'T WANT YOU HERE!"
"STAY AWAY FROM NARUTO!"
This last message made Naruto's eyes widen. Slowly, he looked to Sasuke.
"So THAT was why…" he breathed. "THAT was why you said…"
Sasuke didn't reply. Those messages flashed through his thoughts, the destruction slammed into his mind with the force of a freight train.
NO!
He leaped forward, rushing into the bedroom with Naruto at his heels.
Please God NO –!
THAT door had been crashed in as well, and the room was in equal amounts of destruction – the desk had been snapped in two, the legs torn off and used to shatter the windows. Papers were everywhere, the bed frame had been ripped apart, and the mattress, comforter, sheets, and blankets were torn to shreds.
The blankets he had been using ever since he was a child – the only things left of his childhood – the only things the government had let him keep.
The corners of his eyes began to burn –
Please God tell me this is a dream –
The bedroom was also filled with hateful messages written in spray paint, but – for the moment – Sasuke didn't care about any of that.
He was looking at the bedside table.
The bedside table where his second most treasured possession had lay.
But now it was in ruins.
God no –
Before hand, there had been a beautiful wooden frame he had found in the attic of his old house, and he had taken it to his new apartment, placing a picture inside with the utmost care.
It had been a picture of him and his brother – when he was merely four and Itachi, nine. It had been during winter, and the family had gone up to Oregon to see snow as an early Christmas present – it had been the first (and last) Sasuke had ever seen the powdery substance.
Sasuke was riding on Itachi's shoulders, clad in warm pants and a long-sleeve sweater with a scarf wrapped around his neck of matching dark navy colors. His nose was tinged with red and his cheeks were flushed pink with cold and excitement. He had been childishly pulling Itachi's hair in his mitten-covered hands when the picture had been taken, and the long black locks were still in his hands. His mouth was open in a wide grin and his eyes sparkling with laughter as a blue beanie covered his unruly hair.
Itachi was dressed the same way, holding Sasuke's legs to keep him from falling in black, glove-colored hands, a scarf wrapped around HIS neck as well, and clothed in a black trench coat that – as Sasuke remembered – fell to his ankles. He had no hat, but his nose and cheeks were tinged with red as well, and his mouth was open in a smile identical to Sasuke's. His eyes twinkled with merriment, and Sasuke knew that had been the best Christmas they had ever shared.
He cherished that picture – adored it. Because that was the brother he knew – the brother that loved him and that had protected him from everything. That picture was literally his heart.
But now the frame was crushed on the floor as if someone had stepped on it, and the picture had been ripped to shreds. But Sasuke could still clearly see – whoever did this had purposely left Itachi's face intact, and they had scrawled right on the picture in black permanent marker – right over his face.
"MURDERER!"
Sasuke felt shock flood into his system. He couldn't take his eyes off the shreds of the picture left on the mutilated nightstand – couldn't take his eyes off the hateful message.
His heart was torn apart – barely anything was left – just like the pieces of the picture on the nightstand that had nearly been cut in half.
He wasn't aware that he had begun to shake.
He wasn't aware that he was crying.
"NO!" He wanted to scream. "ITACHI WASN'T LIKE THAT! HE LOVED ME! HE LOVED ME AND OUR PARENTS, AND HE WOULD'VE DONE ANYTHING FOR ME! THAT PERSON WHO KILLED OUR PARENTS WAS NOT MY BROTHER!"
He wanted to scream – to scream, shout, kick, rage – but he didn't. There was something he wanted to do more than any of that.
He wanted to die.
Please God NO!
The Uchiha's face suddenly flared with heat – like it was burning furiously from the inside out.
The world tilted.
What the…?
Suddenly it seemed like all the energy had drained from his limbs – suddenly he wanted to sleep – wanted to sleep eternally, so he wouldn't have to be hurt anymore.
Oh…
Sighing, Sasuke's eyes closed.
Naruto's own widened.
"SASUKE!"
Leaning forward, he managed to catch Sasuke before the other hit the ground.
The Uchiha just barely opened his eyes, looking up at Naruto but not seeing.
But somehow, he knew the blonde was there.
"Naru…" he gasped out weakly before his eyes closed again, his head lolling to the side as his body fell limp. The back of his neck burned furiously underneath Naruto's fingers.
"SASUKE!"
"STAY AWAY FROM NARUTO!"
I… can't.
End Line Four: Until You Opened Up My Eyes
Notes:
Did you know that writing this chapter made me cry? It did. I teared up. It was awful.
So yeah, Hinata's super-younger in this story. But she's so much cuter that way. :3
Heh. Sasuke talks to himself. MPD much, right? Lawl.
I hope you all enjoyed it. And again, sorry as always for taking so long.
Much love to you all.
Ja ne!
DDB