A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, I'm glad you guys are enjoying this:o)

"Charlie? Charlie? Has anyone seen him?"

Claire's voice was beginning to grate on her nerves, only adding to the mountain of emotion that was currently ruling her- fear, anxiety, guilt for some unknown reason. She could barely hear, barely think, the deafening sounds of the crowd hammering down through her skull, her limbs still aching from the trek back to the beach. What the hell was wrong with her?

She glanced at Claire again, running through the mass of hugging, crying people to the shore, staring out with tears in her eyes. Charlie…she could feel it. Somewhere, somehow. He wasn't coming back.

She turned away, her head pounding, only to be met with the sight of Jack and Juliette, holding each other in tearful grips, their sobs matched by so many others. Sun and Jin, Sayid, Hurley, Desmond somewhere among them all, all crying out to some unknown, some force.

She couldn't take it.

The helicopters were closing in, yet they were still so far away. Coming to take her away.

She felt like crying and was furious at herself for being so weak. When had she ever given in so easily? Never.

And then, as she turned her head in complete and utter hopelessness, she saw him. His eyes. Staring directly at her.

She didn't know what to do. Run to him. Run away. Scream his name, over and over again, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…yet she wasn't sorry, what was there to be sorry for? Nothing, everything. All that could have been. Should have been.

And looking at him now, she knew for sure. She'd known all along. How much he loved her.

The darkness that had consumed his eyes over the past few days was suddenly replaced by something else. Something…penetrating. Terrifying. He looked as though he could fall apart any second.

She realised this must be James that she was seeing. That lost little boy who'd finally found a way to resurface, if only for a second.

It felt like the most important second of her life.

Slowly she walked towards him, not knowing what she could possibly say to him, but knowing the look on her face right now must be just as raw and painful as his. How could she possibly have such a horrific impact on one person?

But it wasn't just…just one person. It was the most important person. Something in the back of her head was screaming it at her, louder than the cries surrounding her, louder than the gale being thrust forward by the approaching helicopters, louder, even, than the thumping of her own heart.

This was something important.

"Saw-"

But she stopped as he forcefully grabbed her wrist, staring so meaningfully at her, so sadly. He placed something in her hand, something thin. Something important. And just looked at her. He never said a word.

His grip on her wrist was almost enough to make it snap. Like he never wanted to let her go.

And in a flash, everything happened at once.

The helicopters landed.

Claire's scream shattered the crowd.

And Sawyer was gone.

Kate was left with only a crumpled, burnt old passport in her trembling fingers.

"Oh…" she sighed, her breath fogging the mirror before her. She let out another short, sharp series of breaths, tears stinging at her eyes, the desire not to breakdown slowly leaving her. Leaving her in a mess.

She gave into the tears, staring at her broken reflection, sobbing over the sink.

"Oh God…"

She was thankful that the bathroom in this tiny little diner was empty. She felt so foolish, so idiotic, so angry at herself. The woman in the mirror before her wasn't her. It was this stupid little girl, stupid enough to think that she could salvage something that ended five years ago, something that, until today, she didn't even want to save.

He should have been just a forgotten memory, lost among all the others. That guy she once knew, once loved. He wasn't part of her life anymore.

No. Not anymore. He had his own life.

It was Sawyer. With a child. The thought was enough to make her feel sick. How could he have moved on in just five years? How was it even possible?

The more questions she asked herself the more dead ends she was confronted by, most of them with just one, terrifying answer.

You love him.

Kate shut her eyes tightly, willing down the rest of her tears.

She needed to talk to him.

Running her sweaty hands down her face, she checked herself over, swallowed, and headed out of the door.

Sawyer was sat with the girl…his daughter…and she saw him place some money on the table beside her. He was grinning like an idiot, the love in his eyes like nothing she'd ever seen from him before. Not even when he looked at herself.

Trying hard not to shake, she sat at the counter. She was too numb to order anything. Too numb to breathe properly. Holy shit, how could he possibly have this effect on her after it had been five years?

It seemed like a lifetime ago.

And then, suddenly, he was sitting beside her. She could smell him…that distinctive scent, cigarettes and cologne. Leather. Spice.

She could feel her throat growing dry as the two of them simply sat there in silence. She saw him glance at her a couple of times, but Kate knew he wouldn't say anything. Still so guarded.

She swallowed down her fear.

"So it was her first day of school, huh?"

What? Where the hell did that come from?

He seamed shocked at this, unprepared, and she could see the confusion on his face.

"Yeah." He replied, and something in her was so pleased to hear his voice again. "Yeah. She uh…it scared the hell outta me sendin her off there. Thought I'd have to go in and…pull her down from a tree or somthin."

She smiled, imagining him doing exactly that. Thinking of the times he'd followed her into the jungle…protecting her.

The good old days.

Both their smiles vanished as they stared at each other, some sort of longing in his eyes. She felt like breaking down then and there, hating the fact that she had absolutely no idea what to say to him when it used to come so easy once upon a time.

"How…" she began, her eyes stinging "When? I didn't…you never said."

She felt foolish, she couldn't even form a sentence. Sawyer glanced at Clementine, looking distraught.

"I never knew." He sighed. "Back then. I…she was just a…a part of a con. She wasn't real…"

Kate glared at him, anger suddenly surfacing from somewhere.

"What the hell are you talking about?" she hissed, "You didn't know?What do you mean?"

He looked tired. Miserable. So dark and strange…he was impossibly different. His head fell into his hands in exhaustion, and he avoided her eye.

"Her Mom…" he began, his voice low. "Her Mom sent me to jail. We were shacked up for a few months...few months was all it took. Got 40 grand outta her."

Her anger at him increased, as well as a mounting feeling of disgust.

Hadn't changed that much then.

"Nice." Kate spat, narrowing her eyes at him. He held her gaze, his eyes dark.

"So she called the cops." He continued, "Spent for months in jail. Got into a few fights, read a couple o' books…passin time.

"Then she shows up. Cass. And she tells me I got a kid."

Cass. The Mom. Kate was mortified by the stab of jealousy she felt, which added to the sickness she was trying to ignore.

She was now desperate to hear the rest. Cass…was she just another in a long, long line? Had he loved her?

"And then?" she said.

"I told her to get the hell outta there. Told her she…Clem…she weren't mine. She'd got it wrong. She wasn't real."

She wasn't surprised. Yet her anger at him, at this whole impossible situation, increased.

"Yeah, that figures." she said venomously "You were probably too busy reading your damn letter back then to bother about your own kid."

Sawyer simply smirked at her, yet there was a flash of hurt in his eyes. She was too angry to feel guilty.

"Yeah. I was." He said "And I wanted her to get the hell away from me. Sent some cash her way. Got outta jail. Forgot about her. About them. I ran away. You know how it is."

Now it was her turn to feel hurt. She looked away from him, finding it harder and harder to look into his eyes yet see someone else.

"And then, somehow, I wound up stranded on an island with a bunch o' wackos, a monster, and the most God damn beautiful woman I ever laid eyes on."

Kate looked back at him, eyes narrowed, wondering where this was going. Irritated by the chill down her spine at his words.

"Speakin o' which, you heard from Claire lately?"

She smiled, genuinely, convinced again that it was actually happening. When he grinned back she saw flashes of their former life, of what was, of what could have been.

It hit her again, hard, how much she'd missed him.

He looked back over at Clementine. Kate followed his gaze and finally looked at the girl for the first time. The dimples when she smiled, her piercing blue eyes. The tone of her voice, her sheer cheek.

"She'd like a mini you." Kate said, smiling at the girl. Sawyer smirked.

"Oh she's a whole lot better than that." He said. There was complete adoration in his voice. "Don't have no idea how she turned out so God damn smart."

His expression softened, and Kate sighed, staring at him. There was only one other person that she knew that could evoke such an expression from him. And it was herself.

"What happened James?"

She saw him wince slightly. James.

"Got back home. Cass was…she was dead. Kid had nowhere to go." He sounded somewhat regretful.

She was dead. The thought of how she died briefly fluttered across her mind, before leaving her with the rest of the story. Something wasn't right. Something didn't make sense.

"So you were forced to take her in?" Kate said softly, confusion furrowing her brow.

"Yeah."

"But…but you love her."

Sawyer looked back at her. He looked confused, and for a moment Kate wondered why she'd said it. It was so blindingly obvious, why should she have to point it out to him?

"I saw it." She continued "As soon as she stepped off that bus. You don't love her because you have to. You just do."

Sawyer swallowed, running a hand along his jaw.

"It's been five years. Five years o' me and her. She…"

He paused. Kate waited in tense silence and she somehow forgot how to breathe.

"She's all I got."

You've got me.

The thought terrified her. Partly because, even though she knew it was impossible, it was true. It was enough to tighten her throat and wet her eyes again. She couldn't remember crying this much in one day before. It irritated her, but the dull ache in her body was all she could feel in that moment.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she sighed, almost unheard. She didn't bother wiping her tears this time. She didn't care if he saw, he'd already seen her at her worst. She wondered what he'd say…but he remained silent.

Suddenly, Kate saw Clementine walk towards them, an empty bowl in her hands. The look of pride on her face was adorable.

"See!" she said, reaching up over her head to place the bowl on the counter beside her father "I told ya!"

"Well I'll be damned." Sawyer laughed, scooping her up and placing her on his knee. The image did nothing to stop Kate's pain."Well then kid, you sure as hell earned that there ten dollars. Shows me not to mess with you, huh?"

Clementine giggled, then caught Kate's eye.

Kate was slightly taken aback, her father's looks even more striking up close.

"He thought I weren't be able ta eat that whole split, but I did, I showed him!"

The comment made Kate laugh.

"You sure did." She said, her voice shaking slightly. She'd never been good with kids. And this wasn't just any kid. It was Sawyer's daughter.

Clementine smiled at Kate, her dimples showing, her eyelids drooping.

"You got real pretty hair, Miss." She said, stifling a yawn. Kate could feel herself turning red.

"Thank you." She said, not knowing what else to say. She looked to Sawyer, who now glanced at his daughter with slight concern as she let out another long yawn

"Home." he said with finality, lifting his daughter up. "You've had a long day, ain'cha."

She nodded, resting her head on his shoulders.

And then he looked at Kate. Like he wanted to scream something at her. She felt like he was looking into her head, seeing things that no one else could see, not even herself sometimes.

And the thought suddenly dawned on her as she realised, with horror, he was leaving.

You can't leave me.

"Sorry 'bout this." He said finally, glancing at Clementine awkwardly, before staring back at her. There was some kind of pleading on his face.

And she knew that she couldn't go. Not now.

Not ever?

"It's O.K." She said, banishing a tide of unwanted thoughts. She stood up, "I always wondered what you'd be like in a real house. You seemed so at home under that tarp I wasn't sure if you could ever cope with walls."

He smiled at her, surprised, thankful, then checked Clementine. Her eyes were fluttering closed.

Kate followed him out the door, unable to tear her eyes away from the girl in his arms.