-Two years, three months, and eighteen days ago-
"Come on Judy…" She flipped through the case file, locations… Traffic cam sightings… Her apartment, then gone.
"And here you are, a year later obsessing over some fox who abandoned you" she shut her eyes and shook her head, closing the case file and taking up her notebook, flipping through the countless notes, sketchings. Addresses, phone numbers, descriptions, locations that led nowhere, phone numbers that were disconnected, car descriptions that led to several non-Nick scammers. She'd arrested approximately 12 individuals since she started searching for one Officer Nicholas P. Wilde, which was the only reason Chief Bogo let her stay like this. Searching through any scrap of a lead, working overtime more than any officer in the precinct, falling asleep at her desk more and more, her other cases having to be given to some other officer because she couldn't keep her eyes open during the meeting.
"Nick wouldn't abandon me… He's hurt, he's in trouble he needs my help!" She huffed out a breath and continued searching through her notes.
"Don't kid yourself Carrots… You'd think I would be hurt? Please, I'm avoiding you fluffy" she felt her breath hitch.
"Face it, you're a rabbit, I'm a fox, what'd you think was going to happen?" Her eyes began to well up, she sniffed softly.
"Did you think I LIKED you? Oh my god you're stupider than you loo-"
"SHUT UP!" She whimpered softly and put her hands to her head feeling her warm tears start rolling down her face.
"Or what sweetheart? You gonna ignore me? I'm in your brain idiot, you're Never getting rid of me"
"He's my friend, he'd never leave me like this."
"That's where you're wrong bunny, Nick NEVER. Wants to see you again" She screamed loudly and took her arms and forcefully cleaned off her desk, sending binders of case notes, papers, her notebooks, and pencils crashing to the floor.
"GOD DAMMIT NICK!" She collapsed to the floor and wailed, several pairs of feet rushing over to her cubicle to see Judy collapsed on the floor sobbing.
"Where are you Nick?" She sobbed into the floor… Trembling cries that racked her entire body her ears drooped down and she clenched her eyes shut, hearing the voices of her coworkers.
"Get the chief!"
"Is she alright?"
"I knew she was losing it…." As their voices echoed in her ears she heard a truly familiar one. People stepped aside to let one large Chief Bogo into the inner crowd surrounding Judy's desk. The Chief looked to the rest of the precinct and spoke softly to the officer closest to him.
"Give us the room" and with that the officers left, the shuffling of feet heard until some far off door shut with an echoing click, leaving the chief and a sobbing rabbit. Bogo looked down at the girl with a soft expression, moving to her side he put his three fingered hand to her back, rubbing her softly.
"Judy…" She couldn't silence herself and continued sobbing into the floor, that is until Bogo made her sit up on her knees, her body trembling with sobs. The chief sighed and brought Judy into a hug, the massive Ox just holding her into his chest, Judy gripped onto his shirt and sobbed into its blue fabric, shaking in anger, in sorrow. But Bogo just held her without a word, just a comforting presence in a stressful time.
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"What did I do…" She managed to croak out as Bogo rubbed the back of her head, her cries dying out moments before.
"Nothing Judy…"
"Then why did he leave?"
"I don't know…"
"I'm so scared for him"
"He'll be alright…"
" You don't know that…"'
"I know you're not okay… I know you're wasting away on this, don't you think, you of all people would've found him by now if he was kidnapped?"
"W- what do you mean?" The chief pulled her from him looking down at her, her eyes watery, her lips trembling, his face soft and understanding.
"You know what I mean"
"H- he wouldn't! He's my friend" Bogo nodded, and Judy shut her eyes and looked away from him.
"Look Judy, I've taken the liberty to prepare you a few weeks of medical leave, so you can recuperate."
"Chief! N- no! I can't"
"Judy… You are taking it… I can't have you destroying your career over this."
"Chief…. Please!" He shook his head and set her down on her feet, looking down at her panicked face.
"You're going home" Judy opened her mouth to speak before she shut herself up, defeated, looking down at the ground.
"Judy I know how much this hurts, but you're ruining yourself please try to fix this…"
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-two years, three months, and three days later-
"Please try to fix this…" She felt the words ring in her head, her eyes straining to open, her mouth feeling like dry cotton. She smacked her lips as the warm sunlight bathed her room, she looked up at the clock on the night stand which read.
"9:45 AM" she felt her head pound and she groaned, putting a paw to her skull as the world started to spin. Which forced her to lean over her bed and vomit into a waste basket that had been at her side for the last two days. Finishing her retching she sat up on the old rickety bed, taking in the surrounds of her room, thinking.
"Three months and that fox still doesn't know how to pick up his dirty clothes." She coughed into her elbow and leaned over on her right to take up the remote, flicking on her brand new TV set. Turning it down to where only she could hear it, watching the people onscreen doing whatever. Rubbing her eyes every now and then with a soft yawn, she had no sense of time so when her eyes glanced over at her clock she was surprised.
"11:59 AM" then…
"12:00 PM" she sighed and looked back to the TV, sniffing loudly before she heard the click of her doors lock, the handle twist open, then the door pushed in. To reveal Nick, dressed in uniform, black tie, blue slacks and to top it all off a golden badge. She felt the smile form on her face as she saw him holding a plastic bowl, a fork and a spoon, and clutching onto a plastic bag as he stuck his key ring into his pocket. He looked up and saw her smiling, he felt his grin form on his face as he walked over to the nightstand, setting her soup down along with her plastic bag of supplies. She looked up at him, and he glanced down at her every so often, setting up her food with surprising efficiently.
"How ya feeling Carrots?" He let his smile turn into his signature smirk as Judy stuck her tongue out at him, then spoke.
"Like garbage…" The fox glanced into her throw up bucket and nodded, looking back to her.
"You eat or drink anything today Bun bun?" She shook her head 'no'.
"Oh my gosh Cottontail how do you expect to get better if you don't eat?" He showed her the contents of the bowl, as he swirled the pepper into its steaming contents.
"How much?" She took a moment to consider.
"Half I think" Nick grinned happily and stopped preparing her meal to grab a thermometer.
"That's my girl… Open up" Judy felt her face flush then opened her mouth as Nick opened up the measuring tool, leaned down over her and placed it in her mouth under her tongue.
"Alrighty tell me when that beeps" Judy nodded and closed her mouth, Nick moving away to the other side of the room leaning over to pull out a little lap tray. Moving back over to her and setting it up on the bed, Judy watching him as he worked, setting her soup down on the tray and setting her plastic bag down next to her on the bed. He looked at her as she sat there and began, putting on his best theatrical voice.
"So what we have for you today is a Vegetable salad, purchased at Milo's Soup and Stuff" he reached into the bag as he continued.
"Several water bottles so my sweetheart can stay hydrated, a sleeve of crackers to enjoy with your soup, and to top it all off…" He pulled these items out in order, and as he prepared to reveal his final item Judy felt excited.
"A cupcake! From Evelyn… You know, she tries." Judy chuckled as he pulled out a tiny plastic container, holding up the least appetizing cupcake anyone has ever seen, ever. It looked sad but it look like some had tried to write out a smiling face on the top in white frosting but it just ended up looking like a jumbled mess.
"Send her my love." Nick nodded as the thermometer beeped, Judy nodded up to him and he took the device out of her mouth, looking down at the display.
"Oh my, Carrots..." her eyes widened as she looked up at him, his eyes looking up to her as he chuckled.
"109 degrees fahrenheit, looks like someone has a few more days of bedrest!" Judy grinned and the fox let the device fall to his side, leaning down to her to give her sweaty forehead a kiss. Judy sighed softly as he stood up smiling down at her before picking up her vomit bucket.
"Alright I'm going to get these cleaned up before I leave, start eating and I'll be back in a sec" Judy nodded and leaned over her meal, picking up her spoon as the fox left their room. Tasting the soup and immediately feeling like she was in heaven as she continued to eat, not even a minute passed before Nick entered the room to see her eating.
"That's the Carrots I know" grinning he set her waste bucket down, looking her over he said.
"You feeling a bit better?" Judy nodded and he chuckled.
"Don't exert yourself, I want you to stay right here all day, and hey, eat half that soup and I'll even get you something really special" Judy grinned as she slurped down some of the steaming liquid, Nick reaching over and softly stroking her head before moving over to the door.
"If you need anything, call me, and if you can't reach my cell call Clawhauser, I'll be over in a jiffy." Judy nodded and saw his face spread into a smile.
"Alright bun buns… I'll be home on time like always, get some rest" The fox slipped out of the room, locking up her door as he left. Judy looked down at her tray table and huffed out softly.
"I love you…"
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Within about two hours of Nick leaving Judy felt her eyes droop, she yawned loudly, feeling fatigue wash over her as she set down her spoon. Her vision dazed and her head throbbed gently, she huffed and laid back on her pillows, blinking slowly as her heart slowed, she felt numb as she passed out back into a deep sleep.
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-One year and eleven months ago-
It was a cold day, she was wrapped up in a blanket, staring out at Zootopia through a frost encrusted window, she put a paw up to its cold surface and shivered quietly. She pulled her hand away and looked down at her lap, which had a single picture, she reached down for it and took it by its edge. She stared at it for a few more minutes, feeling her tears coming back she took it by its opposite edge, staring at the two people in the picture. She sniffed and prepared herself, tugging on the picture once or twice before stopping herself, putting her head in her hand, crying softly into her palm before silencing herself. Looking up at Zootopia, and making one realization, she wasn't here for herself, she was here for everybody, the people not a person. Even if she is never happy, even if she's never loved, she'll know in her heart that she's done the right thing, the right thing for everybody. She was never a selfish being, she always had others best interests at heart, but never her own, the people she served, the people who lived in this city were who she should be dedicated to. Not a Fox… Not a bunny…. Them, and she was holding back on them to be happy, she couldn't allow that to continue. As she held this photo, a reminder of a life that ended before it could begin, she knew what she had to do, something she should've done years ago. She took the two ends of the picture and with a single hard shuddering breath, she shut her eyes and tore it down the middle. Gasping out as she felt her heart pulse in her chest, breathing in a cry before letting the pieces fall to the floor, putting her head in her paws. The snow beating against the sidewalk and the window, beating against the clothes of every individual, one person, one police officer gave up. Not on the people she served but the man she loved, and she sobbed, cried harder than she ever had before then. She felt empty and incomplete, like she had just torn a piece of herself away, and as she looked up to the city she knew she made the right choice, and as the tears streamed down her cheeks she felt hollow. As she vowed to protect everybody, she couldn't vow to protect herself, as she promised to everyone that their lives mattered, her own didn't.
"Nick… Wherever you are… Whatever you're doing…" she shut her eyes and choked on her words, feeling like she was cutting into herself.
"Nick… Nick… Please… Don't come back… Please…" She broke down and huddled up on a chair, on some random winter day, two years in the past, begging the man she fell in love with to never return and he did anyway.