Note: I don't own the song "Father and Son" and I want to publicly thank Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens) for the lyrics, copied and pasted from the public domain. I used it in the previous chapter. The same goes for the song "The Rose," once more taken from the public domain used in this chapter.

Tissue warning and chuckle alert. Please don't read in public if you don't want to be seen laughing and crying at the same time, it might give the wrong impression.

Heart Afraid of Breaking

Spike stopped for coffee and stretched his aching limbs. He's been sitting for a long time, lucky he has had a lot of practice in the SRU command truck.

He's arrived in New Liskeard, a small but quaint downtown. It was close to lunch so he parked in front of Timmy's, ordered a cappuccino and a wrap. He ate slowly. He couldn't remember the last time he wasn't guzzling drinks down his throat and stuffing things in his mouth in an effort to get nutrition down him. There had been many high pressure calls. One on top of each other that if he didn't just do it he just went by on empty stomach.

He looked out the window. Lots of shop, he thought, for a little town. He spied a bookstore. Nice. By the time he finished his lunch, an hour had gone by. Time to browse. He picked up three books, John Steinbeck's East of Eden, J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey and Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness. He stored these away in the boot of his car.

There was a nice waterfront with a walkway and a beach. It beckoned him. He removed his hiking boots and socks, rolled up his pants and walked on the beach. He felt the sands between his toes, the cold of the water shot up his spine and gave his head a tingling feeling. He watched the water lap on the beach and followed its ebb and flow.

The birds were flying up overhead and the sky was clear. He silently thanked Greg Parker for insisting he takes a holiday. Yeah, this was just what the doctor ordered, a time and a place to recuperate, to replenish, to restock. The Boss, he's a wise man. What is it he always said? There's a time and a place.

He checked his timepiece, I need to move it or this road trip will never end. He put his socks back on and changed his hiking boots for a pair of runners. The hiking boots were starting to kill his feet.

The next song on the CD was "The Rose" by Bette Midler. It took him back to a time and a place, Ocho Rios, Jamaica. They bumped into Bridget, his high school crush. At the airport, while waiting to board their plane, Lou jokingly chastised him.

Lou: You ditched me, man. This was supposed to be our bromance (punching him on the shoulder)

Spike: (Ignoring the jive) Buddy, I think I'm in love

Lou: You think? Man, I didn't see you for three days and you think

It went on like this for much of the waiting. Ribbing each other, mucking around like two big the plane, Lou had him cornered.

Lou: So, did you tell her?

Spike: Tell her what?

Lou: Idiot, a girl needs to know where she stands. Are you gonna call her again?

Spike: I don't know. How do you really know if you're in love?

Lou: See, the problem with you is this, if there's no formula or equation you don't know what to do. You have a high IQ but very low EQ.

Spike: EQ? What's that?

Lou: Emotional Quotient. You have zero EQ. But seriously, I think it's because you're afraid to have your heart broken. You're one big chicken. I'm perplexed…

Spike: Perplexed, man, that's a big word. Do you even know what it means? (Lew punched him again). Ouch, I'll have you arrested for bodily harm.

Lou: Don't interrupt, I'm not finished. Your parents have a long and happy marriage. I mean it's not like you had a traumatic childhood. What are you so afraid of?

Spike: You can talk. We're the same age and you haven't got one serious girlfriend. So what's wrong with you? Lou became very quiet so he pressed on.

Lou:I will tell you but you have to promise to keep your trap shut, ok.

Spike: No, you're not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Are you? Are you gay?

Lou: Idiot. I'm not gay alright but I've been contemplating about entering the priesthood. Spike's jaw dropped

Spike: It's worse than I thought.

Lou: I'm been thinking about it for awhile.

Spike: No, you can't be a priest. You're too good looking the parishioners will be in sin. You'll be preaching on the pulpit and half the congregation will be lusting after you.

He was speaking at hundred miles per minute so Lew punched him again to shut him up.

Lou: Anyway, you have to keep your mouth shut, ok.

They were quiet for a bit, then Spike piped up again.

Spike: Lou, you think when you become my Padre Confessor you'd be ok to do confession via skype. I don't have time to attend Mass. Or, I can text it to you but you have to promise to delete it.

Lou: Spike, I don't know what to do with you? Stop and recite the Hail Mary 100 times.

Spike: 100 times, my Parish Priest only ask for 10.

Lou: That's because he doesn't know you.

They were quiet again. In fact, they both fell asleep.

An hour before they reached Toronto Airport, Lou started on the subject of love again. Not by saying it but by singing it. Lou was very good at some things. For one, he could sing very well, he on the other hand, couldn't carry a note if his life depended on it.

"It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance
It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live."

Spike knew it was meant for him.

XXXXXXXX

He played the song and he bawled his eyes out again -

Some say love it is a hunger
An endless aching need
I say love it is a flower
And you it's only seed

It's the heart afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream afraid of waking that never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul afraid of dying that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
And the road has been too long
And you think that love is only
For the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter far beneath the bitter snows
Lies the seed
That with the sun's love
In the spring
Becomes the rose

Perhaps, it's true he hasn't found love because he's afraid to have his heart broken, so he resorted to cracking jokes. "I crack jokes that's what I do," he once told Sam. When things start to get serious, he gets cold feet so he tells jokes as a defense mechanism. Why is that? What am I afraid of? Lou, buddy, will you help me figure it out?

The silent tears continued to flow and it cleansed his soul.