Child's Play
BEWARE: Androids, ho!
DISCLAIMER: I don't own Portal.
Chapter Four
When she was absolutely sure he was out of earshot, GLaDOS began to laugh. Actually, it was more of a cackle. She laughed so hard, she doubled over, ripping a few wires from her back.
She sighed, "Great. Just great." She reached around to find the dislodged wires, and plugged them back in. She stretched and searched her monitors for wing G test chamber 0, and got an idea. She found it and zeroed in on it. The little girl sat on a chair, looking at the clipboard, and swinging her legs.
GLaDOS cleared her throat, and spoke into her microphone, "Hello!" the little girl looked up and around for the voice. "Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. You are being asked to move to the next test chamber for reasons to be clarified at a later time. Please step through the portal that should appear momentarily on the wall, then proceed through the chamber lock, and await further instructions." The girl's eyebrow's furrowed in thought. GLaDOS snapped her fingers and the portal opened. The little girl she walked over to it and timidly looked through it.
"Like this?" she asked, stepping through the portal.
"Yes. Just like that. Keep going. Towards the door." The girl shuffled over to it, looked back, and stepped in. GLaDOS shut the door behind her, causing her to jump. "Please await further instructions." The little girl looked back at the door, and then plopped down on the floor.
"Now we wait." She told herself, inwardly snickering. Caroline piped up, This is really childish. Moving the kid to worry him? Are you really stooping this low?
"Yes. Yes I am." She responded, aloud.
Caroline sighed in resignation, and GLaDOS smiled to herself.
Soon enough, the moron entered the room and approached the glass. He sighed and looked to the nearest camera.
"Where is the girl?"
"She's in there."
"No she isn't. You gave me the wrong directions on purpose, didn't you?"
Damn. "Fine. I did." She sighed, "She's in test chamber one."
"Thank you." he said, narrowing his eyes, almost threateningly. She rolled her eyes, even though he couldn't see her.
"Just go. The sooner, the better." she snapped. He sighed in response and dusted off his pants for no reason. She rested her chin in her hand, sliding open the door.
The girl whipped around and ran to hide behind the stack of cubes. He shook his head and mumbled something GLaDOS couldn't make out.
"Hello!" he waved and the little girl peaked out from behind the stack. GLaDOS wondered from where he conjured the false enthusiasm. He laughed nervously, smiled so widely that it looked unnatural -which was pretty fitting- and squatted so he was more or less on the girl's level. She looked distressed. GLaDOS couldn't blame her. If Wheatley was smiling that widely at her, she'd probably kill him. But she'd be extremely creeped out.
"Who are you?" the little girl asked quietly.
"Uh, can you repeat that? Sorry, couldn't hear."
"Wh-who are you?" she repeated, louder.
"My name's Wheatley." he paused to reword what he wanted to say next, "I'm going to be taking care of you. I really hope that didn't sound too creepy." The girl didn't respond, so he cleared his throat and asked, "What's your name?"
The girl peaks her entire head out from behind the stack of cubes. "Emma." She murmurs the word so the only audible thing is "Em".
"What was that?"
This gave GLaDOS another idea. According to her data, when people name things themselves, they grow more attached to them. Before she could repeat her name louder, GLaDOS interjected, "Oh! I forgot to say. The poor thing forgot her name."
"And how exactly did she do that?" Wheatley asked, staring at the camera. The girl looked up, too.
"I put her in stasis for about an hour and realized that it wasn't safe." she lied, "I guess she remembers that it begins with 'm'"
"Well, what now?"
"You name her." she smirked, happy he couldn't see her.
"Me? Um, alright. Starting with 'm'... Mary, Meredith, Michelle, Megan, Melanie, Magdalena, Misty, Martha, Millie-"
"Just pick one!" she yelled.
"Er... Don't you think she should have a say in what she's called?"
GLaDOS sighed, "Fine. Kid," the girl backed up, "Calm down, I'm not going to kill you. Or hurt you for that matter. It wouldn't be fair. What do you want your name to be?"
The little girl shook her head and made a sound that signaled she was about to cry.
"Perfect, just perfect. Now you've done it." he grumbled. "Hey, now, there's no need to cry. She's not going to hurt you, alright?" He decided to try to move a cube out of the way to see her, but he pulled out the wrong one and the entire thing collapsed on him.
GLaDOS laughed so hard, the android equivalent of tears ran down her face. The girl laughed, too. "Oh, well that's just wonderful! She laughs along with you."
"How can you not laugh at that?" GLaDOS responded.
"Maybe you could have a shred of consideration for others. Just maybe."
"You're in no position to snap at me, moron." GLaDOS was surprised that he was being so bold. Was that the right word? The girl giggled and clapped her hands. "Pick a name, already."
"Well... She doesn't look like she'd be named anything I mentioned before... I don't know. Do you have any ideas?"
She did, actually, but she didn't want to be dragged into this. No. There was a very slim chance she would get attached to the girl, though. What's the harm? She thought. "How about Minerva?"
"That's very exotic. What's it mean?"
"Roman goddess of knowledge. Counterpart of Athena."
Wheatley sat up and squinted, "She doesn't look like she'd be named something so...elaborate... Ooh! I know! Minnie! That's perfect! What do you think?"
The girl backed up again, "Minnie. That's my name?" She looked up at the camera expectantly.
GLaDOS sighed. I'm getting dragged into this, she thought. "Yeah, sure. Minnie."
Minnie looked down for a minute, processing her name change. "Er, so..." Wheatley stammered, trying to restart the conversation, "How do you do?" His hand stretched out towards her. She just stared at it. "Oh, well, you see, this is what people do when they meet each other. They shake hands. Like this!" He grabbed his other hand in a manner that was supposed to look like a handshake, but, in typical Wheatley fashion, failed. Minnie mimicked this. "No no no! You do it to another person." Her mouth formed an o shape and she took his again outstretched hand, shaking it somewhat violently. By the expression on his face, GLaDOS guessed that he was afraid his arm would come off.
"Uh, good. Maybe a tad less violent, but you got the basic idea. Then you'd say 'How do you do?', but you don't have to do that."
Minnie walked over and outstretched her hand to the camera. GLaDOS couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh, she isn't here, poppet. She's just watching, and probably planning our deaths." he mumbled the last part.
"Poppet? Who's poppet?" the girl asked.
"No one's poppet. It's just an expression people use instead of other people's names. Like 'mister', 'miss', 'madame'."
"Oh... You talk funny."
GLaDOS laughed even louder. This was worth it already. Just the look of exasperation on the moron's face was enough to justify tearing the young girl from her mother.
Author's Note: I fail at updating lol. I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry, you guys.