The italics in this one are from the song Gunpowder and Lead by Miranda Lambert.


"Now I know I'm not a saint,
I've been a sinner all my life,
I ain't tryin' to have no buds,
I'd rather keep them in the line,
They wanna criticize you now,
Cast another stone,
Burn me at the stake and see them watch it from the dome."
- In One Ear – Cage the Elephant

The Crazy Ex-Girlfriend

My aunt Samantha asked me to come down to Texas for a visit on the Friday after I talked to Emmett, the day after he was killed. I hopped on the first plane out of Seattle to Houston, where my aunt was waiting for me. She got teary-eyed when I hugged her. We barely ever saw each other, and my mother was her twin. She was lost without her for the longest time, but it had been six years since it happened.

Aunt Sam was my favourite aunt, mostly because of my cousin, Alice. She was the only cousin I had my age, and we were best friends because of that.

Unfortunately, we fell out of touch when Alice turned sixteen. She fell desperately in love with James Marshall, a twenty-year-old pedophile look-alike. Aunt Sam couldn't control her. Alice flew the coop, moved to Atlanta with the creep, and no one had heard of her since then. Aunt Sam couldn't even get a hold of her when my parents died.

The car ride to the family acreage was silent aside from the country music in the background. After an hour and a half of boredom, we were finally there.

"Now, just wait a second, Edward," Aunt Sam said before I could get out of the car. "Alice came home a few days ago." I blinked in surprise. "She's...she's not doing so well. Just be careful, ya hear?"

"Sure, Aunt Sam," I murmured, opening the door and getting out.

Alice was sitting on the porch. She looked the same as she did when she was sixteen. Inky black hair that was chaotically spiked all over her head, tanned skin, and very pretty in a childish way. She was a petite thing, wearing short jean shorts and a white tank top without any shoes. She was smoking a cigarette and cleaning a shotgun carefully. Her electric blue eyes darted around the yard, never stopping on something for more than a few seconds. She looked the same, but she wasn't the Alice I left behind here. She looked damaged, scarred, maybe for life. I had the second candidate for my assignment.

"Hey, Mama," Alice greeted quietly as Aunt Sam climbed the steps onto the porch. "What'd you bring home?"

Aunt Sam smiled weakly. "You remember Edward, don't ya, Ali?"

Alice's eyes darted to me, quickly looking me over before flitting back to her mother.

"My cousin Edward?" she asked.

"Yes." Aunt Sam gave me a pleased smile. "Why don't you come into the house, dear? I'll show ya your room."

I nodded and followed her.

"Hey, Al," I greeted as I passed my cousin.

"Hey, Edward," she replied.

And that was it. Alice had definitely changed. She used to talk a mile a minute, never stopping, not even when she was asleep.

The room I was staying in used to be where my mother and father would sleep when we stayed her. It was the same as always, white lace curtains, pale yellow walls, king-sized bed with a blue quilt... Everything remained the same on the family farm except the people.

I helped Aunt Sam with supper while I watched Alice clean her gun and rock back and forth on her creaky rocking chair, waiting for something or someone to come down the driveway.

"Should I get Alice for supper?" I asked Aunt Sam after we finished setting the table.

Aunt Sam shook her head. "She'll eat when she's ready. Ain't no use in pushin' her while she's in that state of mind."

So, we ate by ourselves and then watched the news. I heard Alice creep in and grab something before heading back out to the porch to watch the driveway like a guard dog. This was when I also found out that Emmett had been killed. I was shocked at how quickly his body had been discovered, the police usually didn't find bodies in Rainier for at least a week.

"I'm going to head to bed," I told my aunt. I couldn't sit around anymore, watching the news.

"Okay, honey."

I was far from sleep and my room wasn't comforting in the least bit. I stared at the cloudless night sky for an hour, listening to my iPod and occasionally writing my thoughts down. At around nine p.m. Aunt Sam went to bed. Another hour passed and I couldn't lie in bed any longer. I would have to pace the farmyard for a few hours before the restlessness would leave my mind. I pulled on my jacket and stepped outside into the cool summer air. Alice was still cleaning that gun.

"Oh, hey, Alice," I said in surprise. "Aren't you cold?"

"Just numb," she muttered with a shrug, stroking the gun gently, almost caressing it.

"What's the gun for?" I asked, sitting down on the bench adjacent to her rocking chair and pulling out my moleskin and pen.

"James," she snarled, her eyes flashing with anger.

"What'd he do?" I pressed.

"Slapped my face and shook me like a ragdoll." She laughed humourlessly. "Don't that sound like a real man?"

"When did he do this to you, Al?" I breathed, shocked at what my cousin was telling me.

"Last week," she whispered. "I came home right after."

"Good for you," I commended, writing furiously.

"He ain't seen me crazy yet," she continued as if she hadn't heard me. "I'm gunna show him what this little girl's made of: gunpowder and lead." A queer sound escaped her throat, something between a sob and a cackle. "His fist is big, but my gun's bigger. He'll find out when I pull the trigger."

"You're...you're going to kill him?" I asked, almost nervous to find out the answer.

Alice nodded and wiped the tears from her face. "He asked me t' marry him, Edward. That's all he wanted, was for t' marry him, and I said no. I liked things they way they were. We was livin' the life we always wanted, y'know? Sleep all day, party all night, no worry in the world 'cept where we were gunna party. We both made plenty of money, that wasn't a problem. I–I don't know what happened." Then she broke down, sobbing and clutching the gun to her chest. "James, he just – he just snapped! Called me a dumb bitch and told me I was worthless." She looked at me with wild eyes. "I'm not worthless, am I, Edward?"

"No, of course not, Al," I reassured her quickly. "You're still my best friend, even if I haven't seen you in forever."

She calmed down a bit when I said that. Her breathing evened out slightly.

"I had a baby, y'know," she told me after she wiped the last of her tears and snot away. "We gave her up for adoption, though. James doesn't like kids much.

"Did you want to keep her?" I asked.

Alice got a wistful look on her face. "Oh, yes. She was an angel. She was perfect and I loved her from the moment I saw her. But James knows best, he always knows best." It sounded like her mantra, the words she lived by, and that scared me.

"Have you reported him, Al?" I asked, looking right into her eyes, even though they weren't focussed on me.

She shook her head. "No, I can't do that. I love him. I love him more than life itself. If he went to jail because of me, I'd die. I'd kill myself without him."

"Is this the first time he's hurt you?"

"No," Alice sighed. "He's always hurt me, but I always hurt him first. I don't deserve him."

My cousin had been brainwashed by her abusive boyfriend. She was going insane without him right now and he probably knew it, too.

"Why do you want to kill him if you love him so much, then?" I asked.

"Oh, I won't kill him," she assured me. "I'll just torture him so that I won't be pushed around anymore."

Well, I guess that was a good thing, in a twisted way. I probably should have reported this, but I almost felt relieved that Alice was going to stick up for herself.

"Why did you run away with James in the first place, Al?" I asked, daring to trek into taboo territory. "My parents died while you were gone, I had no idea where you were."

She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "I just needed t' get away and James was leavin'. I had been the perfect daughter for sixteen years and I was tired. I wanted my own life. But I'm sorry I wasn't there for ya, Edward. I really am. I missed ya."

Alice got up and threw her arms around me, laying her head on my shoulder. My arms wrapped themselves around her too-small waist. I loved this girl, even though she abandoned me.

"I needed you, Al," I murmured over her shoulder.

"I know," she whispered back. "And I needed ya. I just didn't realize it until now."

We let go eventually. I went back into the house and stared at the sky some more, still thinking about Alice and her man.

Could Alice be considered unacceptable? I wasn't entirely sure. She was socially unacceptable by association, I guess. A man that beats his girl is looked down upon automatically, as he should be. But, could Alice be unacceptable? She had been abused many times, and more than just physically, I'm sure. Usually people pitied the victims in these situations. Alice was going to fight back though, and not with a lawsuit, but with a shotgun. She thought she would only torture him with that gun, but if she aimed properly, she could kill him in one shot.

The sun began rising and I realized that I wasn't going to fall asleep, so I went downstairs again. I pushed open the front door and watched a truck pull into the driveway. The vehicle stopped and my breathing ceased.

A man stepped out of driver's door. He was a greasy son of a bitch. Long blonde dreads, a black vest, blue jeans, and bare feet. He still had the same creepy smile as when I last met him, like he was looking for the youngest girl in the room that would be willing to hide away in the closet with him.

"Alice," his low voice greeted.

"James," Alice replied, sounding sane now.

"How are ya, baby?" He grinned like a Cheshire cat, beckoning her to join in his madness. I noticed that he was holding a handgun.

"Fine."

"What's with the gun?" he asked, nodding towards the shotgun currently pointed at the deck.

"What was with the beating?" Alice retorted, standing up tall.

"I'm sorry." He didn't sound sincere at all.

"Me too."

Bang. No more James. Alice was breathing heavily. Her hands came to her face, and her long nails began clawing at her face, the blood dripping onto the deck as she hyperventilated. Then she ripped out her hair for a while before stiffening with the gun in her hand

Bang. Goodbye, Alice.

Things are going to get seriously fucked after this.

Just FYI.