CHAPTER 3:

ICE, ICE, BABY

Having spent much of the morning and early afternoon coming to grips with my current predicament, I chose to spend the rest of the afternoon making the first preparations for Operation: Fuck You Hiroto Minaka. I went back to my hotel room to fetch my things (I had been most adamant against Minaka's offer to bring them, and thankfully, the Invisibility Cloak had gone apparently unnoticed, buried under some clothes in the Discipline Squad's quarters, as had my wand, both of which I now had in a mokeskin pouch), and then visited the local magical enclave, being ever so mindful of the CCTV cameras dotted all over the city as I did so, and Apparating right into it. I would later come to realise that, apart from being an insane megalomaniac genius with a sense of morality that could be fitted into a matchbox without taking out the matches first(1), Minaka was also an unrepentant voyeur.

In fact, that explained a lot. Okay, the Sekirei didn't exactly have inhibitions, and many didn't even have a nudity taboo, as I would later learn, but still, he made up clothing for the Sekirei that were frequently fetishistic…and, in some cases, liable to shred during combat. So, why he didn't get one of those risqué anime series and beat off to it, I don't know.

Oh wait, I do know. It's because Minaka's nucking futs.

Anyhoodle, I visited the local branch of Gringotts (staffed by various species of youkai rather than Goblins: the foreign accounts manager was a very fetching kitsune who, I later learned, was descended from Tamamo-no-Mae(2)), and found out more about my situation. As it happened, whatever bound me to the Sekirei had actually registered as a magical marriage and a soul bond. And while polygamy was as frowned-upon in magical society as it was in human society, it seemed that Gringotts, at least, was aware of the Sekirei, and had already placed a provision to that effect allowing such things. The Japanese Ministry was also aware, but had apparently been taking bribes from Minaka to look the other way.

So, Minaka was aware, if only to a small degree, about magic, though whether he knew about me being magical or my reputation, I didn't know. Hopefully not, or hopefully, he would underestimate me. So he would never see me coming…as the actress said to the bishop.

Gah! Focus! Anyway, I soon learned that Minaka had shares for sale from MBI. And Gringotts could help me buy those shares up with the Potter family fortune and that of the Black family. Gradually, so he wouldn't realise what was happening…well, assuming he paid attention to who owned what shares. It helped that Gringotts could buy the shares under the two titles of the Head of the Potter family and the Head of the Black family.

After withdrawing some money for my own purposes, and making arrangements to get documentation to stay in Japan for longer, I headed to the local potions shop, and bought some scar-removal salves. I did some more shopping, before heading back to MBI.

And that's where fate conspired to bugger me once more. That, and my saving people thing.

"The adjustment labs?" I asked Natsuo.

He nodded. He was quite a handsome-looking man with dark hair and eyes, and had a friendly-enough demeanour. But there was a coldness to his eyes that reminded me somewhat of what I saw of the young Tom Riddle. Though I felt more sorry for Natsuo than the Boy Who Lived to Become Voldemort: at least Natsuo knew what it was like to have loved and lost. And while he hadn't Winged the Discipline Squad, it had been decided that he would act as an overseer anyway. Not actually in charge, but rather, as an extra pair of eyes on your not-so-humble narrator, in case I caused trouble. Which I inevitably would. "Yes," he said. "Karasuba has an interest in one of the Sekirei currently being adjusted, namely Number 88, Musubi."

"An interest?" I asked.

"I don't know the full story, but Karasuba, along with the late Number 08, Yume, rescued Musubi along with another Sekirei after they were abducted by a foreign power," Natsuo said. "Yume died in the process, apparently somehow reviving Musubi."

I blinked, thinking that I had never seen any protective or nurturing instincts in Karasuba. As if sensing my confusion, Natsuo said, "It's not any loving relationship. It is more like…a rivalry. Karasuba wants Musubi to get as strong as possible…and then vanquish her."

"…That's twisted."

Natsuo scoffed. "This is MBI. 'Twisted' is a fact of life."

I was escorted down to the labs level by Natsuo, who was going to keep an eye on me. That, and act as a translator. While many of the staff at MBI could speak Japanese and English (and a number of the Sekirei were bilingual as well), most could only speak Japanese, and I did not want to expose my magic while casting a Translation Charm. As we made our way down the corridors, we heard a commotion up ahead. Shouted commands in Japanese were suddenly cut off. Then, a VERY buxom young woman skidded around the corner, dressed in little more than one of those surgical gowns that left the rear open. She shouted something in Japanese, not in anger, but in fear. In fact, I was pretty sure she yelled, Hide me!

I glanced at a nearby door, labelled in both Japanese and English as a storage cupboard, before flinging it open, and gesturing for the woman, whom I was almost certain was a Sekirei, to get in. She dived in, and I closed the door hurriedly. "That was Number 07," Natsuo said. "Akitsu. But she wasn't scheduled to be adjusted today. Unless…oh, that idiot."

"Who?"

"Dr Tokiomi Takeru(3)," Natsuo scowled. "An incompetent fool of an adjuster who has been increasingly insolent lately, and has been going behind Dr Sahashi's back." He glanced down the corridor, and sighed. "Speak of the devil, as you English would say."

The middle-aged man in a labcoat storming towards us looked like a thoroughly unpleasant sort, rather like if Umbridge had a Japanese relation. Seriously, I was sure there was a toad in that man's ancestry somewhere. He barked out something to Natsuo, who replied coolly. An argument ensued before Natsuo indicated down the corridor. Takeru nodded curtly, before storming down the corridor.

"Where did you send him?" I asked.

"I told him we had sent Akitsu to the bathing area of the Discipline Squad. Haihane and Benitsubasa were sparring while you were gone. They'll probably be arriving shortly after he does," Natsuo said with a cold smile.

"Should I feel sorry for him?"

"He's sexually harassed more than a few of the Sekirei, if reports are to be believed. And he was probably feeding information to Izumi Higa. I find myself not giving a damn. He was already demoted. If he adjusted Akitsu without Dr Sahashi's permission, he will be fired. Always assuming that Benitsubasa and Haihane leave enough of him left to be fired."

Deciding I needed to get my mind off the topic of impending dismemberment, I opened the cupboard, and Akitsu stumbled out. Short, light-brown hair framed a long face, and she looked to be one of the most buxom women I had seen. Well, aside from that one time Tonks got drunk and decided to enhance her bust a little, only, it became a lot. As in, ridiculously so. Akitsu bowed and spoke briefly in Japanese to me, only for Natsuo to say, "Harry only speaks English, Akitsu."

She nodded, and, in accented English, said, "Thank you, Harry. That…man was planning on altering the planned adjustments."

I smiled. "Hey, it's okay. He won't get to touch you again if I have anything to say about it."

She nodded again, and then, I noticed she seemed to be blushing strongly, and breathing heavily. Natsuo noticed too, and pinched the bridge of his nose. "She's reacting to you."

"You what?" I demanded. I already Winged three Sekirei, I didn't intend to expand my unintended harem.

"Look, just kiss her. Her powers are hard to control, it'll be better. I'll cover with Dr Sahashi."

"And with Karasuba?" I asked.

"Actually, you're on your own there," Natsuo said with a smile, right before Akitsu embraced me, and jammed my lips to her own…

Much to my surprise, when Karasuba came along a few minutes later, an enthusiastic-looking Sekirei in tow, instead of slicing me up, she merely sighed resignedly, especially after Natsuo explained the situation. "That figures."

"You're okay with this?" I asked incredulously, Akitsu looking petrified at the sight of Karasuba.

"It doesn't hurt to have more in the Discipline Squad, especially a Single Number with elemental powers," Karasuba said. "Besides, we're more flexible when it comes to…how do you put it? Polyamory? Otherwise, I wouldn't have let you Wing Haihane and Benitsubasa."

The Sekirei next to Karasuba asked something of the silver-haired swordswoman, who replied back. This new Sekirei was buxom, not as big as Akitsu, but I had to wonder whether she would get back pain from those large breasts of hers. She was dressed in what looked like a fetishized form of a shrine maiden's outfit, with a dangerously short skirt. She had dark hair, dark eyes, and a cheerful demeanour. Then, she said to me, in halting English, "You Harry, Karasuba Ashikabi? Me Musubi. Nice meet you!"

So, this was Musubi. Attractive and, it seemed, warmer-hearted than the other Sekirei I had met so far (though to be fair, I had only just met her and Akitsu, and had met no others beyond the Discipline Squad), and I made to shake her hand, only for Karasuba to block me. "She's still being adjusted," Karasuba said. "She might crush your hand by accident, and while it's tempting to see you screaming in pain, you actually managed to amuse me with that film."

"She's not reacting to me, is she?"

Karasuba translated for Musubi, who shook her head. "She's not reacting," Karasuba said. "Anyway, like I said, she's still being adjusted."

"I was just curious. And apprehensive," I said. "Life has a habit of crapping on me from a great height."

Natsuo snorted. "It can't be that bad."

"He had a terrorist targeting him back home, apparently," Karasuba said with a lazy wave of her hand.

"And my guardians were arseholes," I said.

Karasuba was about to say something, when she caught sight of something over my shoulder, and began chortling. "Speaking of assholes," she remarked.

I turned to find an irritated Haihane, dressed in a loose bathrobe, carrying a bruised and battered body over her shoulder. "Which one of you sent this moron to our bathing area to find Number 07?" she asked.

Karasuba, Akitsu and I immediately pointed to Natsuo, who shrugged indifferently. "He was doing unauthorised adjustments to Number 07," Natsuo said. "Oh, and you have a new addition to your Flock with Harry here."

Haihane gave Natsuo, then me and Akitsu, a searching look. Then, she said, "Benitsubasa beat him up, and she told me to drag him out. Where do I take this moron?"

"To one of the detention cells," Natsuo said. "Standard operating procedure."

Suddenly, Takeru coughed up a wad of blood, staining Haihane's bathrobe, and I blinked. "Umm, does he need medical treatment?"

"He was stupid enough to head to the Discipline Squad's private bathing area," Natsuo said. "I call that natural selection in action. He'll live. Maybe if Dr Sahashi is generous, he'll get a disability pension. Plus, Akitsu could have self-Winged, become a Scrapped Number. I believe it would be not unlike having a lobotomy."

I found myself still wavering, until Takeru looked up with a murderous scowl on his face, and saw Akitsu standing with me. Whatever he called Natsuo and Akitsu in Japanese, even with a bruised face and what could have been a jaw fracture, was obviously not flattering. Natsuo merely replied coolly, before indicating for Haihane to take him away. As Haihane did so, she hissed at her burden, in English, "Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries."

Natsuo blinked in astonishment. Karasuba rolled her eyes. And Musubi merely tilted her head like a confused dog. So did Akitsu. And me? Well, I had just seen an alien woman wearing only a blood-covered bathrobe hauling a man around like a sack of potatoes, and quoting lines from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. So…Wednesday, then.

Karasuba decided to head back to her quarters (well, OUR quarters now) after taking Musubi back, and Natsuo decided to take me on a tour of the adjustment labs, Akitsu trailing behind almost like a lost puppy. In fact, after quickly checking through an observation window, he brought me into one of the adjustment labs, where Takami was working with another pair of Sekirei.

Takami looked up sharply when we entered, and asked Natsuo an annoyed question in Japanese. As Natsuo replied, I looked at the two Sekirei present, both, thankfully, not dressed in the same surgical gown as Akitsu, but in normal clothes. They were the youngest I had seen yet. One of them appeared to be a boy in his mid-teens at the latest, with the silvery hair a number of Sekirei seemed to have, while the other seemed to be a girl of perhaps five or six, with long, messy blonde hair and green eyes. Both were peering at me curiously.

Takami pinched the bridge of her nose, just as Natsuo did, and quickly checked the two Sekirei she was with. Sighing in relief, she said to me, "I guess I should be grateful. That moron Takeru could have caused a disaster. And I'm glad these two aren't reacting to you either."

"And who are they?" I asked, glad that I wasn't reacting to them either. I didn't want to be labelled a paedophile, after all.

"107 and 108," Takami said. "Shiina and Kusano. Shiina's abilities cause him to inflict rot and decay on the things he touches, and Kusano grows things, though her specific influence is over plants."

Kusano tugged at Takami's leg, and asked something in Japanese. Takami blinked, before she said, "She wanted to know if you can be a big brother to her like Shiina."

I shrugged. "I don't mind. I never really had a sister or a brother. Just a bullying fat whale of a cousin. You don't mind?"

"No. In truth, the Sekirei don't get much chance for social interaction outside of their adjusters and handlers. I've heard rumours that the adjuster of Number 09, for example, is a misandrist, and is inflicting her views on Number 09. That is going to be a disaster, I just know it. Minaka finds it hilarious. As long as you come along without Karasuba, I'm sure it will be fine. The only Sekirei who doesn't really fear her is Musubi, and she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, as you British say." She then said something to Natsuo, who left. She then looked at me. "Minaka knows who you really are."

I looked askance at her. "Oh?" My tone was carefully tailored to suggest that who I was really wasn't that impressive. And aside from being a damned good Quidditch player and (by necessity) a half-decent dark wizard slayer, my life wasn't all that impressive.

"Don't be an idiot. He's what you British call a Squib," Takami snapped irritably. "I didn't even know you idiots existed until people from the Ministry of Magic turned up on our doorstep. I know you're a wizard, Harry. And so too does Minaka…"

CHAPTER 3 ANNOTATIONS:

So, the secret's out, and Akitsu has been saved from becoming a Scrapped Number. Much of the scene where Akitsu is saved is derived from an equivalent sequence from Angry, Angry Wizards, though Natsuo wasn't present in that fic. Harry meeting Shiina and Kusano, and not Winging them, was also inspired by that fic.

We also have the appearance of Musubi, speaking English far worse than Shenhua from Black Lagoon ever did. Let's face it, Musubi is an idiot. She's not going to be learning English very well. And she'll be more of a peripheral character in this story for obvious reasons.

1. Marvin the Android says the same thing about his sense of happiness in Life, the Universe, and Everything.

2. A famous courtesan of myth from 12th century Japan who was said to have been a kitsune. Tamamo is also one of the Heroic Spirits who can be summoned as a Caster (as well as a Berserker) in the Nasuverse, and ends up being Naruto's Servant in sakurademonalchemist's Fate/Stay Night/Naruto crossover Naruto Emiya, which I recommend.

3. Tokiomi Takeru (well, Takeru Tokiomi: I assumed 'Tokiomi' was the given name) was the name given to Akitsu's ill-fated adjuster in Angry, Angry Wizards.