I flinched back, surprised at the weird feeling I just had that felt like something was moving inside me. I was leaning against my SUV, and Ricky was staring at me like I had just lost my mind. Steadying my uneven, shaken breaths, I said, "Did you feel that?"

His eyebrows wrinkled together. "Feel what?"

So Ricky didn't feel it. Was I just imagining it? I couldn't have imagined it. It just felt so real. Ricky was watching me closely, looking at me like he thought I was about to go crazy or something. "Something m-moved."

He shook his head. "Nothing moved, Amy."

I narrowed my eyes, trying to figure out what was going on. How could he not have felt that? Ricky starting moving closer to me now, like he thought I would fall apart any second. Didn't he believe me? Ricky started to grab my arms, but I backed up from him and shook my head. "I'm not crazy!" I yelled furiously.

"Please just calm down. You're overwhelmed. You're just imagining it. Just calm down. It's going to be all right," he said. He was still walking closer to me. He talked to me like I was a mental patient and he had to comfort me before I committed homicide or something.

His hand reached out and touched my arm again, but I quickly recoiled and yanked his arm off of mine. We were a few feet away from each other, and he was staring at me with a hurt look on his face. I didn't care if I hurt him. He was really making me angry. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I don't know," he said. "I believe you think you felt something, but I promise you that it wasn't the baby. The baby isn't even grown, Amy."

"You really think that I'm crazy, don't you?" I snapped at him, folded my arms together. "I told you that nothing is wrong with me! I am one-hundred freaking percent fine! I'm not imagining anything! I know what I felt just like I knew what I saw when I had that dream. I don't care if you don't believe me! Just leave me alone. I never should have told you. It's way too early. Just go away."

"No," he said coldly, raising his voice. He threw his arms around my waist, and he had me backed up against the car, not allowing me to move anywhere. "I'm not going anywhere. I told you I'm here for you. But Amy, this might not even be my baby. You should tell Ben. It's not fair for him, because it might end up being his."

I had tears running down my cheeks, and it started to rain. "I- I'm going inside," I said. I tried to push Ricky off of me, but he didn't budge, and my feeble attempt to push him away only made me end up slamming myself against his chest, him holding me in his strong arms. I glared at him furiously and shot at him, "Why are you here anyway? Shouldn't you be at college or whatever."

"Obviously I came here to see you," he said harshly.

"Whatever." I shoved him harder this time, and he backed up, not trying to stop me this time as I ran off. I was halfway across the parking lot when I turned around to see him still standing by my car in the rain. I started to say something, but then I decided to just forget it. I heard Ricky yelling behind me. "You have to tell him, Amy!" But I ignored him and ran off inside the school, running as fast as I could.

I walked up to my locker, tossing my stuff angrily inside before shutting it. When I turned around, I jumped when I saw Ben standing right beside me, leaning against one of the lockers. I rolled my eyes. "What?"

A look of confusion and hurt flashed across his face. "What's your problem?"

I sighed. If only I could tell him. "My problem is that it's been raining all week, and I'm sick of it," I lied. I scowled as he seemed unconvinced. "Why does everyone think something is wrong with me? I told you- I'm fine! Everything is just fine! Dammit, Ben! I'm fine!" I yelled hatefully, and I knew I really messed up now. Tears suddenly ran down my cheeks incredibly fast, and I knew that Ben would know something was wrong. But I just couldn't tell him.

And then I dropped down on my knees on the floor, not caring that Ben was standing right there. I just couldn't take it anymore. I stared down at the floor, and I saw Ricky walk in and he was talking to Ben. But I didn't care what they were saying, so I didn't even listen.

Ricky stood right beside me. "Amy, get up," he said angrily and demandingly. I ignored him. "If you don't get up yourself, I'll just have to make you!" He yelled at me furiously, and everyone turned around and looked at us.

I still ignored him, figuring he wasn't serious about making me. But I was wrong, because he was pulling my arms trying to get me to stand up. He held me upwards, and I fell limp and lifelessly when he let go, but he caught me and threw me into his arms.

Ben's eyes were wide with concern and probably jealousy.

Ricky finally put me down, and I stood up and crossed my arms, not looking at either one of them. The three of us were completely silent until Ben broke the silence and shouted impatiently, "Someone tell me what is going on!"

I didn't say anything. Ricky rolled his eyes, and I thought he was about to tell Ben. But, for some reason, I didn't feel any relief when he spoke. "Nothing," he snapped, "Amy's just having a mental breakdown." And he turned around and walked quickly out of the building.

"Amy?" Ben raised his eyebrow.

"It doesn't even matter," I said. "I'm going home."

"What? You're going home? It's morning, you can't just leave when you just got here. At least tell me what's wrong. What happened, Amy? You can tell me anything," he said. He held my hand, but I pulled away.

"Yes, I am going home. I- I can't tell you what's wrong. I just have to get out of here. I.. I can't do this anymore." I wasn't sure what I meant by that, but I just knew I couldn't keep going on like this. I just wanted to be home right now, staring out the window at the rain. I wanted to hold John in my arms and not worry about anything else. I wanted to be free from all this stress in my life.

"You can't do what anymore?"

"I don't know!" I shouted, and then I ran. I ran out the door as quickly as I could, and I got into my car and drove off. I couldn't do this. I knew if I stayed at school, then I was going to have a panic attic or something. Ben would think I was dying or something crazy like that. He wouldn't know what was wrong, and then from being so overly stressed, I'd tell him what was wrong and he'd hate me forever. I just couldn't let that happen. I had to get out of here.

__

I slammed the front door of my house shut; I saw my mom sitting on the couch, and I wondered why she wasn't at work, but I didn't care to stop. I ran straight for my room, ignoring the confused look my mother was giving me. I knew I had really gotten myself into trouble now. Ben thinks something is wrong with me, and so does my mom. What am I gonna tell them?

I locked the door of my room and slung myself down onto the bed, hearing footsteps coming from outside the door. There was an impatient knock at the door. "Amy, what's wrong? Open the door."

Fear ran through me, causing my heart to pound rapidly. I couldn't tell my mom; it was way too early. So, I said the first thing that came to me. I fought back the tears and tried to keep my voice sounding calm so she wouldn't detect that I was crying. "Nothing's wrong, Mom. I just don't want to be at school. I don't feel like going today."

"I know something's wrong. Just open the door!" she persisted.

"Ben and I just got in a fight! It's nothing, really!" As I said this, I groaned, knowing that she wasn't going to let it go. I got up from the bed and wiped the tears away from my eyes before unlocking the door for her. She stood there, concern and confusion swept across her face. I crossed my arms. "I said everything is fine. Ben and I just got in a stupid fight. It doesn't even matter. Can we just leave it at that?" And there was some truth behind that. Ben and I got in somewhat of a fight. Okay, it wasn't really a fight, but whatever.

"What happened? Why'd you get in a fight?" she asked as she walked inside my room. She was studying me closely, and I knew that she was looking at my shirt, probably knowing that it wasn't mine. I'm not sure if it's mine or not- I think it's Ricky's. I'm not sure, but I know that it doesn't look like anything I'd normally wear, so anyone would jump to conclusions.

I ignored her question and spoke immediately, not letting her ask anything about the shirt. "How come you aren't at work?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Because they called from the Church Nursery and said Robbie has a fever, so I picked him up, and I took the day off," she said, "Look, you need to go to school. You and Ben getting in a fight is no excuse to miss a day."

"Mom, please. Please, it doesn't matter if I miss one little day! Just please let me not go! I can't face Ben! I can't face school today. I'm staying home. I'm almost eighteen years old, and I should be able to decide if I go to school or not." Okay, so I didn't mean to go off on her like that, but I really just couldn't deal with school right now.

"Fine," she said, apparently not happy with the idea. "Whatever. But I'm leaving soon to take Robbie over to Mimsy's house. She's gonna watch him so I can go back to work. Because I don't need to miss a day, just like you don't. But whatever, I won't make you. Bye." She walked out the door, and I shut it abruptly after she left.

When I turned around, I heard someone tapping on the window. I sighed. It was Ricky. I really didn't want to see him now, but since he's stubborn, I knew he wouldn't go away. I opened the window, and he climbed through it and stared at me, frustrated.

"What?" I snapped at him; he had no right to be upset with me.

He rolled his eyes and pulled me over to the bed with him to sit down. "Amy, what's wrong? Why were you acting like that at school?"

I grimaced. "Why did you follow me all the way to school! You should be in college right now! And you know darn well why I was acting that way. I'm pregnant!" I whispered. "And it would be really nice if you would believe me, Ricky. I know I felt something move.."

He looked at me like he still didn't believe me. "Okay, so maybe you did. You need to tell Ben. He has to know."

I couldn't believe he brought that up. I deliberately shook my head and talked harshly to him. "No, I don't want to tell Ben. Not yet. He doesn't have to know anything. I'll tell him when I'm good and ready to tell him! I shouldn't have even told you, because now you're mad at me about it and-"

"I am not mad at you," he cut me off. "Why would you think I'm mad at you?"

I rolled my eyes at him. Oh, please. He must be kidding- it sure as hell sounds like he's mad. "Because you keep yelling at me, and you're acting like you want this to be Ben's baby and like you don't care about it or anything. I don't know who I want the baby's father to be! I mean, it's realistic and normal for me to want it to be Ben's, but I just don't know! You really aren't making this easy on me. The only thing you seem to care about is me telling Ben- like you're just tired of hearing about it or something. You seemed mad at school, and you still do. So if you aren't mad, then what the hell is your problem?"

"Amy, I am not mad at you! But you really need to calm down! I don't want the baby to be Ben's-" he stopped for a second. "I mean, I don't know. I don't know if I want it to be his or not. I just don't know if I can have a second child. I just don't know that this is mine, so there's no reason for me to get worked up about it when I don't even know. I care, though. I care about you. I love you, Amy."

"No," I said coldly, "you don't love me!"

He narrowed his eyes at me and was about to speak, but I cut him off. "No, stop! I know you don't love me. If you loved me, then why aren't you even jealous when I go out with Ben or he kisses me or something? Why don't you care that Ben is my boyfriend and I'm sneaking around to be with you? Why doesn't it make you jealous? Why don't you feel weird about it?"

He stared at me with a surprised and furious look on his face. "I do care that you're with Ben. It makes me incredibly jealous. But you've been with Ben since you were fifteen years old. I wasn't going to ask you to break up with him to be with me. Obviously you wanted to date me secretly, and well we are, and it's been simple so far."

"Simple? Is that what you're looking for?"

He sighed. "Please stop, Amy. Quit assuming the worst in me. You know I care about you. You know I do. I love you."

"Shut up," I muttered. Although I saw honesty in his eyes, I couldn't seem to believe him. I couldn't even look at him. I felt so stupid and embarrassed and I just wanted this to all be over with. I wanted this to have never happened. "Just get out of my room. I don't want to see you right now. I don't want to see anyone."

"Amy," he growled. "You can't just run away from this."

"Yes I can." My voice sounded so lifeless, and I wasn't even sure if there was any truth behind what I just said. I knew I couldn't run away from it. I knew I wouldn't emotionally be able to do that. I was already too attached to this baby. My baby.. my possible daughter. I didn't care if it sounded ridiculous and Ricky didn't believe me, but my intuition was telling me that somehow this baby and I were connected deeply someway. At this point, I didn't even care if it was Ricky's or Ben's. Okay, so that isn't necessarily true, but I just don't want to worry about it right now. I wasn't going to choose which I'd rather the baby's father be and then end up finding out the opposite. The truth is just that I'm confused and really don't know what to do or think.

Two soft knocks came at the door, followed by a familiar voice saying, "Hey, Amy. It's me." I sighed, recognizing Ben's voice all too well. I can't believe he followed me home. I thought I had already made it clear to him that I didn't want to go to school today and I didn't want to see him.

"Okay, I'm gonna go so you can talk to him," Ricky said. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I knew it was inevitable that Ben was going to find this out sooner or later. I might as well tell him myself before he finds out from Ricky or before I get so fat that it's obvious.

"Fine." My voice was so low that I wasn't even sure if Ricky could hear me. I opened the door, and standing there was Ben. He came inside my room once Ricky headed out the door, and he gave me an apologetic look.

"What?" I said. "You know, you didn't have to follow me home. You should be in school."

"You should be in school," he said calmly. "But yet, you aren't. And wherever you are, that's where I want to be. So if home is where you want to be, then where I want to be is right here at your house with you until you get past whatever's bothering you. So.. what is that exactly?"

I sighed, annoyed by his possessiveness. I didn't want him following me around all the time. I opened my mouth to speak, and it was sharp and cold, much more harsh that I had planned for it to be, but I needed to get this point across to him. "Ben, nothing that concerns you is bothering me," I lied. It might concern him if this baby is his. "So, why can't you just accept that, leave my house, and go back to school? I just want to be alone!"

"Why was Ricky over here?"

I groaned again. Ben hasn't seemed jealous and asking me questions like why is Ricky over here in a while. And that was probably because Ben never really saw me with Ricky, because we sneak around usually. "Ricky was over here because he," I quickly thought of something and said the first thing that came to me, "he had to bring medicine over to John because he- he has a fever." And this was another lie. It was Robbie who had the fever, but Ben didn't need to know that.

Ben shook his head. "You're hiding something from me, Amy. I know you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, yes you are," he persisted. "I can see in your eyes that something so beyond what you're telling me is bothering you. You can tell me. If you really are just having a bad day, then tell me that. I just want to know what's wrong. That way I can find a way to help you."

I don't think there's anything you can do that will help me, I wanted to say. But if I said that, I'd be giving away too much, and he'd definitely know I was hiding something. "I'm going to say this one more time," I began in a cruel voice, "there is nothing wrong with me, I'm completely fine, and I just want to be alone. Do you got that?"

I didn't like to see the hurt in his eyes, but he was really getting on my nerves. He took a deep breath and said in a mumbled tone, "You and me, Amy. Do you got that?" he shot the words at me bitterly. "That's the way it's always been, and that's how it's going to be fifty years from now. You and me forever. If you can't trust me and tell me what's bothering you, then what are we supposed to do? Lie and hide things from each other for the rest of our lives?"

That was it. He had really made me mad now. That's exactly what he's missing- maybe I'm not so sure I want to be with him the rest of my life. It really annoyed me how he said it, like he was demanding I stay with him forever or something. He always acts like everything has to go a certain way and he never asks me how I want it. He just assumes and never checks to see if I'm okay with it.

"Fine, Ben," I murmured, tired of arguing with him. And then I blurted stupidly, "I'm pregnant," and I regretted it instantly when I said it, because I was definitely not ready to tell him so soon. It just kind of slipped, and the way I said it was so weird. It sounded too casual.

His eyes widened. "You.. you're pregnant? Oh my gosh.." he said mostly to himself. He looked down at the floor and mumbled in a monotonous voice, "That's why you were asking me if we were.. um.. protected."

Ugh, why was he so embarrassed to say protected? "Yes, Ben, I- I'm pregnant." And that's when the tears came. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in for too long. I looked away from Ben as the tears rained down my face.

"Aw, Amy," he said as he touched my arm in comfort. "Don't cry, don't cry. We'll make this be okay. I- it might be good to have a baby."

Oh, perfect. Not only did I just tell Ben that I was pregnant, but now he's assuming that it's his. I'm really going to regret when I have to tell him that I'm not sure it's his baby. But it was too late now, I couldn't hold this in any longer. There was a certain amount of stress I could take, and I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell him.

"Ben, that's what I needed to talk to you about," I paused, nervously trying to look back into his eyes. He stared curiously with a worried look on his face. "I- I'm not so sure that this baby is yours."

"What?!" His voice was shrill with surprise. "Then.. th- then who's is it?" he stuttered, but it was obvious that he already knew.

I gulped, shutting my eyes for a brief second and letting more tears flood my face. I knew my eyes probably were red and I looked like crap. "It's either yours.." I looked into his eyes again, and my voice cracked when I said, "or Ricky's."

His eyes went wide again. "I didn't know that you and Ricky-"

"I'm sorry, Ben!" I practically shouted. "I know you must hate me! I'm a terrible, terrible, awful girlfriend who cheats, and I definitely do not deserve you!" As I said this, I knew it wasn't true that I didn't deserve him. I remembered when Ben cheated on me, and how pissed off I was. So I guess now we're even.

"I just can't believe it," he trailed off, looking like he's in a daze.

I nodded. "Yep, me neither. Just go to school, Ben. We'll talk about it later, I guess." I practically pushed him out of the door. I really couldn't handle talking to him about it anymore. I just wanted to lie down in my bed and stare off into space forever.

I stood completely still, waiting until I heard the front door shut before I headed over toward my bed. But I stopped half way there and my heart started racing when I heard my mom and Ricky coming into my room.