Chapter 4 - What's there to see if I look closer?
(Verse from the song "Closer")
Kahlan was feeling very well that morning. She had deeply slept all night after talking with Richard and now felt truly restored.
She was lightened as if a bulky weight was removed from her shoulders, since the moment she found the courage to talk to him about that intimate matter during the night. She had no experience in this topic and felt awfully shy about it, but she needed to clear things between them, because his gallantry was preventing him to start the conversation. So she took the bull by the horns, took him aside and asked him to listen to her without interruption.
She told him – blushing copiously – that she knew he was eager to… share a bed with her (he tried to say something, but she raised a finger reminding him of her request for silence, so he shut up) and that she felt the same about him… very much… But, with all of herself, she wanted that particular moment to be… just perfect.
That's why she was asking him to wait a little longer, until she'd regain her full health and they'd reach Aydindril, where they could take advantage of much more comfortable accommodations - instead of a mattress of leaves - and an adequate privacy. Richard kissed her and hugged her tight, whispering in her ear that he would wait until the end of the world to have her, if she asked him. He told her that he loved her with all of his heart and whatever she wanted him to do, he would do it for her, no matter what. They remained hugging for quite a while and she felt tears of joy linger in her lashes, while basking in his love. The picture was flawless except a little stain spoiling it…
It was a tiny mischievous voice inside Kahlan's head, telling her that, despite all the words about love supreme and perfection, she just wished for Richard to slam her on the ground then and there and take her with all the burning passion she knew he was capable of, until he made her scream again and again, in waves of desire.
But he was gentle and he was a man: men do scrupulously and unquestioningly what they are ordered to. Whereas women order one thing, expect it done as they instructed but, in the end, what they really want is the exact opposite of it. And Kahlan was doubtless a woman; a strong woman who didn't need to be constantly protected and handled in velvet gloves. Sometimes she needed something rougher. And Richard wasn't so. But the Confessor easily ignored this annoying tiny voice and held onto her true love.
Then they came back to the camp and found an unexpectedly cheerful Cara; the blonde seemed to be in an excellent mood and went sleeping by her side, which didn't happen since the Pillars. Kahlan didn't understand what made the Mord-Sith so well disposed, but was happy of it and hoped that the good mood would last for the following days.
The morning after Cara realized how much unfair her feelings were. Being enthusiastic of her Lord Rahl's missed enjoyment was unacceptable. Ensuring her Master's satisfaction should be her duty and it was! But when it came with the Mother Confessor, Cara had difficulties in clearing her priorities. She didn't even notice, until morning, that she had slept beside Kahlan, which she promised herself a time ago, not to do it any longer.
She needed to ease her mind with a little action to purge her body from all the tension and nervousness amassed in the past period. When during the daily walk she saw farms in the distance, she smiled inwardly, knowing that she was soon going to achieve her aim.
She walked off from the others with an excuse and reached the nearest farm, where she eyed a young and strapping peasant, who she was betting could help her with her disorders. Taking a woman was out of question now, because Cara knew that she'd think of another one all the time, gaining only further frustration.
She sneaked on his back and suddenly agieled him, making him scream like a slit-throated pig. She took her needed fun with the man - who was a little more than a boy - hurting and bruising him, but not too much since she needed him in good conditions to display a satisfying performance.
She threatened him both with her weapons and deadly glares, ordering him to rip his rags off and tasted his fear, seeing him crying and begging for mercy. Then she toyed with him a little more smiling mischievously while she forced him to call her Mistress, to kneel in front of her and to begin masturbating himself. When she started undressing herself, the man turned even more terrorized, but glimpses of incredulity and excitement appeared on his face as well.
She jumped on his top and ordered him, with the same threatening manner, to touch her here, knead her there, lick her down below and suck her up above. After few minutes she stopped giving him instructions, as the man showed a certain creativeness in the play and she concentrated on her needs.
It turned out that the boy was quite experienced; she praised herself inwardly as she had always had a good eye in choosing a prey. The hours they spent together were pleasant for both of them and in the end the simpleton insisted to thank her with supplies before she left.
She wanted very very much to kill him, because she was no whore to be paid after good sex! But she thought that Richard would be disappointed and supplies could be useful for her companions after all. Most of all she discarded the idea to kill him because, to her surprise, she recognized his gesture coming sincerely from the heart and not from disdain. So she decided to put aside her pride and took the gift, leaving without a word, but for a new bruise on his eye and a good tale the boy could share with his friends.
When she rejoined the Seeker's band she was fully in control and confident that she could face Kahlan without losing her balance.
Zedd was admiring the beauty of the valley they were crossing: a succession of mild hills covered by thick emerald green grass, multicolored flying butterflies and a multitude of different kind of bright flowers filling the air with a light pleasant scent, which he was inhaling in great appreciation. Above in the sky, rare lonely clouds were quietly floating in a warm shade of orange, as the sun was setting. The cheerful chirping of birds was the soundtrack of their steps in this corner of paradise. The only other noise he could hear was an annoying uninterrupted sniffing from the woman behind him, alternated with resounding sneezing.
"Cara could you please try to restrain your rattling!" The Wizard blurted unceremoniously. "It's really pesky and it's wasting this wonderful scenery."
"And this smell is wasting my mood!" The blonde brusquely replied. "I told Richard to choose the other path, but you insisted with him to pass by this side and this is the result."
"How could we miss to enjoy this valley? It's one of the most beautiful places in this area and, as you can feel, the air here is fresher than before. It's a relief for all of us." He replied waving a hand all around to emphasize the magnificence of the place he brought them to.
"I have no problems with heat, but I have with flowers!" She retorted, sneezing immediately after.
Kahlan couldn't help but laughing at the little banter. She didn't like to see Cara distressed, but she couldn't deny that the sight of the blonde constantly rubbing her reddened nose was priceless. The brunette wondered when Cara had become so dear to her... It wasn't so many months ago that she told the Mord-Sith those harsh words: "I can never forgive you for what you did to my sister." and at that time she believed them, but now things were different.
The Confessor understood that she had fully forgiven Cara when they were trapped in that tomb. The blonde opened her heart, admitting that she considered her a friend against all odds and Kahlan felt such a rush of affection for Cara that she couldn't restrain herself from hugging tight that surprising woman; the one she had come to trust with her life. In that gesture there was neither trace of grudge nor regret; they had simply faded away from the Confessor's heart. She felt an incredible heat in the blonde's body and the hammering beat of her heart reverberating through her own chest. Kahlan was overwhelmed by these emotions, but then Cara pushed her away, lifted her Mord-Sith's mask back in place and they ended up fighting hard and nearly died asphyxiated, but still holding each other's hands. They survived only thanks Richard's last moment rescue.
After that night, Kahlan increased her friendly touches toward Cara and the blonde began to accept them without flinching or stiffening. At least until they saved the world.
Another resounding sneeze brought Kahlan back to reality and the confessor took a small cloth and handed it to the red-clad woman. The brunette was half confident that she would accept it, because Cara seemed more relaxed than the previous days, especially after her little escapade.
Nobody dared to ask the blonde where she went or what she did. Certainly not because they were afraid to embarrass Cara, rather they were afraid to be abashed by the crude frankness of her answers. Anyway the smug grin written upon the returning Mord-Sith's face, spoke volumes about the nature of her urgent business.
Cara took the cloth and blew her nose so loudly that it echoed all over the valley. Zedd rolled his eyes, sighing in defeat.
.
"We should camp there for the night, the sun has set and it's darkening." Richard uttered, pointing a high clearing circled by a group of pines, in a position that granted both shelter and a good point of view for guarding. Once they reached the spot Kahlan glimpsed a field nearby, pointed with hundreds of white square stones.
"Zedd what is that place?" She asked curiously.
The Wizard turned his face to the place she was looking at and sighed "I didn't notice we were so near. It's the Unloved One's Field."
"Do you know that place? What are those stones spread on the ground?"
"It's a cemetery my and those are tombstones. Children tombstones." He declared with a heavy tone, while Richard and Cara approached, looking at the place the other two were talking about.
Kahlan was stricken by the words of the Wizard "Children…? All of them?"
The old man nodded silently and began to tell his tale.
"It's an ancient story and few people know about it. Long ago, in this area laid an important and massive D'Haran fortress, from which the Rahl's House dominated all around the zone. But there was also a wide organization of rebels who wanted to overthrow the imperial establishment, to work loose Rahl's claws from these lands. The war had dragged itself for years then the oppressed found a way to turn the tables.
Among those rebels there were wizards and sorcerers who managed to cast a horrible curse on the whole land. All the children of the enemies got ill and could be healed only by a potion, obtained through a large quantity of blood, given willingly from one or both the parents. The aim was to turn away the soldiers from the battlefield and weaken them, preventing them to come back to war, thus giving the rebels the chance to take the fortress.
The Lord Rahl of that time sent order to keep on the war and gave instruction to intensify controls on deserters, who were immediately executed if found out. Many people tried to save their children, but most of them were prevented or too frightened and in the end boys and girls died, sending the army into a grieving fury. The D'Harans cruelly swept away the rebels, but in the chaos of the war the castle was raze to the ground, probably by both the rebels and the desperate soldiers. After those tragic events this land was abandoned.
All the children were buried here to remind all of the nonsense of war. But soon the memory faded away and now most people don't know about this tale and the meaning of the Field. Wizards do, because of the exceptional nature of the spell cast. It takes a great power to curse someone to death from afar, without having a connection with that person - such as personally knowing the target - or the exact position, or without having a belonging of that person.
The tyranny was certainly unbearable, but those wizards did something horrible and condemned to death children of soldiers, generals, Mord-Sith, but also of squires, servants, cooks… people who had no fault in the madness of war."
Kahlan was impressed by the story and could only whisper "Such an awful destiny for those folks. War is unfair and those who pay the highest price, are always the innocent."
They all remained silent for a while than everybody turned to the usual setting camp tasks.
.
Later after dinner, while sitting around the fire Kahlan came up suddenly, looking toward Cara.
"Do Mord-Sith have kids?"
The Confessor had been thinking of this question since she heard that detail in the story Zedd shared with them before. Cara's heart skipped a beat and she winced imperceptibly, but immediately returned in control. The water Zedd was drinking went down wrong and he coughed loudly. When he regained composure, he glanced to the brunette with wide eyes admonishing her, surprised by her indelicacy.
"Kahlan!" The Wizard blurted.
Kahlan flushed a little, seeing the indignant Wizard's face and look at him battering her lashes with doubt.
"What? I was curious… You told it before…"
"I know what I told, but you already know the answer, we spoke about it." He resolutely replied.
Kahlan looked confused and shook her head. "No we didn't."
"Sure we did, don't you remember?" He insisted. "When Dahlia came after Cara."
"Who's Dahlia?" The harsh tone of Cara's voice let itself be heard for the first time, since the conversation had started. She was suspicious and scowled sharpening her look, feeling that the Wizard was keeping something from her.
Zedd turned to Cara gaping and at last recalling that he was the only one remembering what happened before he cast the Spell of Undoing. Dahlia never became a Mord-Sith and never came to search for Cara. Richard and Kahlan never knew that Cara had a son from Rahl and Cara… She never heard from Darken that he killed the baby the day he was born. She was probably still thinking that the boy was alive somewhere…
"Wizard I placed you a question. Answer me." Her flat words echoed adamant and Cara was still frowning at him; sea-green eyes scanning deeply and mutely threatening.
Zedd came back to himself and cleared his throat, then he lied. "Ehm... I was mistaken, I confused the conversations… We never talked about that. Dahlia is an old acquaintance of mine, who was enslaved by Mord-Sith for some time, long ago."
Cara upheld the look and wrinkled her eyebrows even further, but then she grunted and dropped the subject. The old man silently released a breath he didn't know he was holding. The blonde was doubtlessly trustable and a dear friend to him, but she still had the ability to startle him with her deadly glares alone.
Richard noticed the tension grown between the group and tried to ease the moods of his companions. "Have you eaten any persimmon along the way Zedd? You know they have a bad effect on you."
Kahlan chuckled and so did Zedd, shaking his head in denial, while Richard wore his typical true smile; Cara was still serious but however quiet and added. "Probably the smell of all those flowers clouded your mind."
They remained silent for a while then Cara broke up, calling on Kahlan.
"Yes."
"What?" The Confessor asked confused.
"Mord-Sith have kids. I hadn't answered before."
"Oh... I didn't want to sound nosy, I was just curios… it seems a little… odd, you know?" Kahlan pictured in her mind Cara with a very big womb, squeezed in her red leathers.
"Mord-Sith just procreate as most of the women in breeding age do, but this doesn't mean that they become loving mothers, Confessor." Cara was speaking flatly and her eyes were glued to the fire in front of her.
"You mean they don't attend to the education of their children?"
"I mean that the children are torn apart at birth and the mother never sees them again. They belong to the Lord Rahl and are trained to enter in the Dragon Corps if male, or the ranks of Mord-Sith if female." Her voice raised a little and her cheek blushed, even though slightly.
"That's awful!" Kahlan exclaimed nearing to Cara, who immediately flinched and threw the briefest glance directly in the bright of her blue eyes. Then her hands instinctively sought the soothing ache of her Agiels.
"Do you really think that a Mord-Sith would make a good mother? Educating a child with her Agiel maybe? I guess it's better for those babies to be sent away."
"A mother would never hurt her baby, even if she's a Mord-Sith." Kahlan resolutely argued.
"You don't know us." Was Cara's hard sentence in response.
"I know you and I'm sure you'd never do something like that." Kahlan insisted.
Cara kept on staring stubbornly the fire and remained silent, still holding tight her Agiel.
"You don't know me so well." She murmured, lowering her look from the fire to her belly which she slightly brushed with the tip of her index.
Zedd had stared at the blonde during all the talk and caught all the microscopic signs betraying her inner turmoil, but only to someone who already knew about her secret.
He absolutely needed to talk to her and tell her the gloomy truth about her son.