"Castle... say something." Beckett said, looking up at him, her heart pounding.
"I'm thinking." Castle said, staring into the distance.
"About what?" Beckett asked, walking over to sit next to him on the couch.
"About us. I don't think you're ready, Kate." Castle said, finally looking up at her.
"Why would you say that? I am." Kate said, desperately.
"You said it yourself, you said you weren't ready." Castle said.
"Did I?" Kate asked, realising how she'd let her insecurities about not being ready slip out.
"You did and that's okay. Maybe it just means that we need some time away from each other." Rick said.
"Rick, no." Kate said, reaching for his hand.
"Look, it's just till you're ready." Castle said.
"I don't know how long that's going to be." Kate said, honestly.
"Kate, I love you and I want to be with you, more than anything but if we're going to do this, we're going to do it right." Castle said, giving Kate a small smile.
"I understand why you want to hold off being together till I'm ready but why do we have to be away from each other?" Kate asked, suddenly feeling overwhelmed.
"I think we need to step away from this little dance of ours and figure out where we really stand." Castle said.
Kate didn't say anything, she just looked away. She couldn't help think about what she would do if Castle realised, all he was in love with was this dance.
"This isn't us leaving each other's lives, Kate. It's just a time out." Castle said, trying to be reassuring.
"And what if you at the end of this time out, you realise you don't love me, anymore?" Kate asked, starting to cry. She didn't want to put Castle in a spot but she couldn't help herself.
"Kate, hey.." Castle said, lifting her face to meet his. "I love you, with all of my heart I do but I want us to have a real shot. I want you to be happy, happy with me and the only way I see that happening is if I let you heal on your own."
"I need you, Rick. I can't do this without you." Kate said, trying to find a way to make him stay.
"I'm always here for you, Kate." Castle said, holding Kate's hand.
Kate looked into Castle's eyes for a moment. There was so much she wanted to say, so much she wanted to explain but words seemed to fail her. She held his face in her hands and pulled him close for a small yet passionate kiss. It was as if all that they had been holding back had been said through that one kiss.
They spent the rest of their time, in each other's arms, neither of them saying a word.
Kate was exhausted when she came back from the Hamptons. She tried to sleep it off, hoping that some sleep would help with this overpowering sadness she felt. But by the evening she felt so lonely, she couldn't bare it. She invited Lanie over for some wine, hoping she could help with some of her Castle blues.
Kate told Lanie everything that happened over a bottle of wine.
"I think he's right." Lanie said, sipping her wine.
"But what if this is just him pulling away? Realising that all of this wasn't worth it." Kate said, finally saying out loud all of the things she had been trying to supress.
"Kate, he loves you and he's stayed with you through everything. He's not running away, he's trying to help." Lanie said.
"But I need him, I can't do this without him." Kate said.
"Maybe what he needs right now is some time on his own." Lanie said.
"What do you mean?" Kate asked.
"Your shooting, finding out about you remembering and everything in between, all of it has been a lot for him too. Maybe what he needs is sometime to process all of it." Lanie said.
"I just don't want to lose him." Kate said, almost crying.
"Honey, you won't. Just give him some time." Lanie said, pulling Kate in for a hug.
Kate tried to convince herself that Lanie was right, they did need some time away from each other. They had been through hell and back, they could survive some time apart.
Castle found his mother sitting on the couch in their living room, when he got back home.
"Hello mother." Castle said, putting his bag down and joining her on the couch.
"Hello darling, did Katherine find you?" Martha asked.
"She did." Castle said with a sigh.
"What happened?" Martha asked, concerned.
"She told me, she loved me." Castle said.
"Well that's great, isn't it?" Martha asked.
"It is." Castle said, a mix of tiredness and sadness in his voice.
"Then why are you so upset?" Martha asked, confused.
"She isn't ready. She wants to be but she isn't. I told her that we should take some time off from each other, to figure out what we want." Castle said.
"I know that was hard for you, darling but you did the right thing." Martha said, putting her arm around Richard's shoulder.
"Did I? What if she's never ready? What if this is as ready as she'll ever be and I just let her go?" Castle asked, starting to feel frustrated.
"Richard, the two of you have been through so much together. You deserve a real shot at a relationship and if she's not ready, there's no point jeopardising what seems to be the real thing." Martha said.
"But what if she's never ready or what if her wall comes down and she realises, I'm not what she really wants?" Castle said.
"When two people love each other, as much as you and Katherine do, they always find their way back to each other. You could've been selfish and told her that you wanted to be with her but you put her first. You're giving her time to heal and she's going to love for it." Martha said.
"I really hope so." Castle said, putting his head-on Martha's shoulder.
Castle felt hopeless and hurt. He knew he had done the right thing. They need to figure this out for themselves, as individuals before they could be together; but the thought of being away from Kate broke his heart. All he could do was believe against all odds, they would be together, in the end.