Note: it was supposed to be over. I had checked the completed bubble. But I got so many nice reviews and requests to continue, I decided to, you know, continue.

Chapter 4

Back in reality, I was feeling awkward. I sat in front of Ivy's big screen television and tried not to think about it. Damn it, Rachel. Do you have to sleep with every man who comes into your life? He's not even a man! He's a demon! I sighed and tried to concentrate on the stupid show. He seemed like a man to me, said the snide part of me. This whole split-personality thing was going to have to stop. Okay. So there is a part of me that is attracted to Al. No way to deny it now. But does it have to keep acting up? Why can't it just go away?

A commercial came on and I changed the channel. It was a news report. Crap on toast, there was Hildy Roberson again. It was probably her driver's license picture they were using now, and she was smiling like a model. Damn her. I wanted to bring her in, damn it. She was bad to the bone. But Al and I had a careful balance worked out now, at least I hoped. Or we had had a careful balance worked out before I had to go ahead and screw him. Blood that I wasn't really wanting to admit to rushed to my groin as I thought of it, seeing flashes of Al in my head. Al's face over mine. Al between my legs. Al standing in front of me when I was on his bed. His bed for the love of the Turn. And then I saw Al, blacker than sin in his library and naked as a witch at the Rites of May. It scared me, and deep, deep down, deeper than I was ever willing to admit to, it turned me on. I wondered what it would feel to have that on top of you and shuddered. From fear, thankyouverymuch. I didn't even want to think about that inside of me. Ouch.

Damnit, I want ice cream! I thought, so I put on my boots and grabbed my bag to walk down to the grocery store. Before I left, I thought twice and put on my shades. Outside the store, I got stopped by a young woman, probably a teenager, holding a magazine. I could tell from her scent she was human.

"Hey can you sign this for me?" she asked. Hell, this wasn't the first time I'd been asked for an autograph around Cincy but usually they were men who thought it was funny to give me a hard time, but this girl was for real. She, in all seriousness, wanted my autograph. She extended the magazine to me hopefully and I looked at it. It was a Newsweek with a big, color picture of me from a few months ago yelling at someone and reaching for my splat gun. Damn, I was still gonna make Pierce buy me a new one.

She reached into her bag and found a pen. "Please?" she asked. Hot damn, if I didn't know better, I'd say this girl was treating me with respect. I looked at her warily and signed her magazine, putting a period after my name so it couldn't be used as a focusing object. She thanked me and walked to her car.

I walked in, hoping they wouldn't kick me out. I wanted ice cream and I didn't want to get into my car and drive to a human supermarket. Hell, they'd probably recognize me there too. I walked in quickly and went straight to the freezer. When I got to the counter I already had my money out. I guess enough doubt had been cast on the Coven of Ethical and Moral Standards that they let me pay for my ice cream.

When I got home, Ivy was reading some fashion magazine or catalogue or something, and I paused when I saw the cover. On the front there stood a red haired model with her hair curled and teased till it was large and frizzy. She was wearing tight, black leather from head to toe, with big ,black boots. She even had big silver hoops.

"What is that?" I asked Ivy slowly.

She looked up at me, her lips twitching in a small smile. "It's the new trend. Their calling it the Rachel Morgan Look. They even have copies of the dresses you wore at Carew Tower and the time you and Trent went on the Saladan's gambling boat."

I stood dumbfounded as I flipped through pages of models in black leather boots—boots I wish I could afford—and pants. Someone had even come out with a black T-shirt that said Staff on it, pairing it with designer jeans I'd never be able to have. I turned to a spread of a model dressed in a black leather dress holding a cherry red splat gun. She looked ridiculous, posing artistically in an urban street at night, her big, red hair blowing in the wind. It was like someone had taken my life and dressed it up as a fashion shoot, which was pretty accurate, when I thought about it.

"This is ridiculous," I said, putting the magazine down. What was this anyway? Neiman Marcus Lookbook was printed on the front. Damn.

"Your performance in Fountain Square got you noticed. Nationally. They have polls about whether you are a good witch or a bad witch."

I sighed as I tore the top off the pint of ice cream and wondered if a beer would go well with Triple Caramel Chunk. "Ugh. I just want my life back. This girl asked me for my autograph today."

Ivy neatly folded the catalogue and set it on the table so it was square with the edges. "Is that why you are ice cream binging?"

I swallowed my ice cream with a loud gulping sound. Ivy turned to me suddenly with vampire quickness and I realized my heart rate must have gone up. To me it just felt like my heart and gone down to the pit of my stomach along with the ice cream.

"Rachel…" she said seriously. "Did something happen in the Ever-After?"

I tried to keep my breathing even. No use keeping secrets when your roommate is a vampire. I put another spoonful of ice cream in my mouth and said around the mass of creamy coldness in my mouth "I slept with Al." Then I shut my eyes and hoped she hadn't heard me. Or maybe not. I didn't want to have to say it again. From Ivy's utter stillness, I was betting she had.

She blinked once and took a slow, calming breath. "Why?" she asked. There was no emotion in her voice.

"I fell asleep in his bedroom and things sort of… happened." He's very attractive, I thought, and wondered if I should say it out loud. Would it make it better by justifying it or worse because I was admitting I was attracted to Al.

She blinked and breathed again. I took a peek at her eyes and saw a thin ring of brown. I didn't want them to get in a fight. Al would win and I knew it. "Did he make you?"

"No!" I said. "No… he made me give, like, verbal consent before… it."

"Well, I suppose he is your type. Dangerous and a bad idea."

It hurt like a punch in the gut, but that was only because it was true. "Too real," I whispered, and put my ice cream down. I wasn't hungry anymore. "He's the only man I know who knows what I am and doesn't care."

"He's not a man, he's a demon. And Pierce knows what you are." I was shocked because Ivy didn't like Pierce, but I guess he was better than Al in her opinion.

Pierce was going to die if he found out. For the love of the Turn, I was sleeping with both of them and couldn't let the other find out! I was in a love triangle with a demon and a black witch in the Ever-After and a national icon in reality. This was absolute bullshit. "I thought you didn't like Pierce," I said quietly, with a belly full of shame.

"I don't," she spat. "But at least he's not a demon. You saw what he did to Ceri. How can you, Rachel, have sex with that?" She was losing it. Oh shit. I felt even worse when I thought about Ceri. She wouldn't even speak when we pulled her away from Al, didn't even hear unless you said her name first.

"Rachel. You can't let him do this to you. He's acting just like a master vampire. You know he's bad but he can make you feel so good it doesn't matter. But the shame won't go away. Don't let him do this to you. You can't become like me."

I wanted to lock myself in my room. This was not okay. I felt terrible and Ivy could lose it any second and wouldn't that just be the crap icing on the shit cake.

"He's going to make you feel like a monster, like only he can love you, like you belong in the Ever-After. Don't let him. You're still you. You belong here."

Ivy was leaning towards me, still as marble, her eyes completely black. Vampire incense filled the room.

Suddenly Jenks came flying into the room. "Ivy! Leave now!" Ivy took a swing at Jenks and ran out of the room. She was out the door faster than I could see. I wanted to cry but wouldn't let myself.

"Rache, what happened?" asked Jenks.

I just shook my head. "I'm okay," I said shakily, then I went to my room.

I picked up my phone and called the Kalamack front desk and asked for Ceri. She was the last person I wanted to talk to, but she would know the most. Now that they weren't cordoning her off, I could get through to her.

"Yes, Rachel?" she said on the other end of the line.

"Ceri," I croaked, still swallowing tears. "I think I'm in trouble. With Al."

I heard her take a sharp breath. "What did you do?" she asked.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. How could I admit this to her? But I'd made my bed, now I had to sleep in it. "I had sex with Al."

I fully expected a stream of little elf tirade, but what I got was an "I'm sorry."

"Am I bad?" I said smally and feeling stupid.

"Having sex with him once is nothing compared to what I had to do," she said, and I could feel the offense in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Ceri, I just don't have anyone to talk to. You are the only one who knows. But I did it consensually. That's the worst bit."

"No," said Ceri. "That's not the worst bit. I promise you, nonconsensual sex with Al is unimaginably worse."

"I don't know why I did it. I mean, I wanted to do it, but I don't know why."

"Gally is cruel and tender. Did he ever tell you how he took me away?" she asked.

I sniffed. "No."

"It was my wedding night. We had been seeing each other for many years. Unmarried elves of royal blood were encouraged to summon demons, but it was forbidden once one was married. I summoned him… to say goodbye. I took my circle down willingly and he took me away."

"Why did you take your circle down?" I asked.

"Because I loved him. I loved him more than I loved my fiancée and between the two I chose him. He told me he loved me. He had a very different definition of that word than I."

I didn't speak. I had known she had some feelings for Al, but I assumed it was some sort of Stockholm syndrome thing. I didn't know she had loved him before, had chosen him.

"Like I said, he is cruel and tender. He plays the parts of both captor and lover well. He can be very charming, when he feels like it, but only when it suits him."

"What should I do? I have to go back there next weekend."

"Well, I don't know what he wants with you," she said brusquely. "If he meant to enslave you, he would have." She paused. "But, there is one possibility. In my time, marriages were arranged to cement alliances and provide children of good bloodlines. I was engaged to my fiancée because he was the only other royal one of elf blood in the area as well as being a rival family. It did not matter if I particularly liked him, the idea was that we would spend so much time together out of necessity we would come to some sort of understanding. Perhaps it is so with you and Al. Training you is just a courtesy. Getting one more female demon is good, but your worth resides in your ability to bear children. Perhaps the higher-ups, Newt, in particular, have decided to put you two together until you produce an offspring. Otherwise, Newt would have just taken you by now."

I was so pissed. I was not going to be a part of Newt's little mating experiment. "Does Al know about this?!" I asked.

"I said it was just a theory. It might be completely false. But if it is true, Al may or may not know. He is in poor standing, and they would expect him to try to sleep with you anyway. That's the way demons are."

"Do you think I could be pregnant?" I asked. I knew my children would be demons, but I had always only considered witch fathers. I didn't know if my genetic code was that compatible with demons.

"I really don't know. Would you like me to ask Trent?"

"No!" I said. "Do not tell him I slept with Al. We are finally at a place where he is not trying to kill me. Please."

"If you think it's best. Perhaps Al will know," she said, but at that moment, Jenks zipped into the room. He was glowing red. Crap, he'd heard.

"Ceri, I gotta go," I said, and hung up.

"Please tell me by 'slept with Al' you mean you had a slumber party?" he asked.

"I screwed up, okay? That's what Ivy and I were fighting about."

"Tink's contractual hell, Rache, that is the worst possible thing you could have done. I can't even think of anything worse than sleeping with Al, a demon, your teacher. Absolutely none of that is okay—"

"Jenks, just stop. Ivy already let me have it. I really, really screwed up. So if you aren't offering a solution, could you please just shut up? I have to make a call."

"What? He didn't call you the morning after?" Jenks sneered. This was so awful.

"I need to find out if I'm carrying his demon spawn!" I yelled, half wailing, and rain into the kitchen where I kept my scrying mirror.

I slammed my hand down into it and yelled "Al! Algaliarept! Al! Pick up!" A hot tear spilled onto my hand and I was even more angry with myself.

Hello, cupcake, he purred into my brain.

I concentrated on forming a coherent thought, but before I could, he said, By the two worlds, Rachel, you've gone round this twist. Sometimes this happens to people after sleeping with me, but I really thought you were stronger than that. I'm pulling you over to have a look at you.

I wished I had more time to get myself together. I was not going to cry at Al's place. I reached up to wipe the wetness from beneath my eyes, but soon enough I didn't have a hand to reach with or a face, for that matter. I materialized in Al's workroom, sitting on his table and glad I wasn't in his bedroom. I didn't want to look at him.

He came forward and tried to look into my eyes. I aimed a kick at his stomach and realized I wasn't wearing any shoes. He stepped back and caught my foot. "Now, Rachel," he said, all highbrow English accent. "Play nice." He stepped forward, wrapping my leg around him so my foot was behind his back. "Where's my pretty kitty from last night, hmm?" he asked as he leaned over and licked my neck, right over my vampire bite.

"Keep off of that," I said.

"I normally disdain vampire bites, but this one is mine, remember?"

I remembered his dripping fangs in the library basement and it didn't make me want to be this close to him. I tried to push him away, but found only unyielding muscle.

"I don't want to sleep with you," I said.

"Such a pity," he breathed into my ear.

"I want to know if I can get pregnant by a demon, i.e., you."

He pulled back from me, his hands on my bare arms. "Hmmm, I don't' know. Let's find out, shall we?" He climbed on top of me and damn me if it didn't send a rush of blood down to my groin to feel his hard muscles on me again.

"Al, no," I said.

"Rachel, there's no point resisting anymore. You've already done it. You're already—oh what did that coven witch say—a filthy demon sexpot."

That was it. Twin rivers of hot, salty tears fell from my eyes silently. Since I was lying down, they fell towards my hairline instead of down my cheeks. Al had gone back to licking my ear when he must have tasted it and looked up at me. "Oh, now, itchy witch, what are all these crocodile tears for?" He picked me up and carried me to the ugly screaming face and I was afraid he was going to take me back to his bedroom.

"Don't take me back there!" I yelled, but we went to the Library instead. He sat down and lay me out so my head was in his lap.

"Oh, itchy witch, what has gotten into you? You'd think I'd forced myself on you from all this wailing."

I had lost it. "This is exactly what I didn't want," I said.

"Really?" he asked. "Are you sure? Because I asked you and you told me you wanted it. I didn't curse you into it or make you do anything. You said—"

"I know what I said. I meant the crying. But I'd take it back now if I could."

"And why is that?" He was petting my hair and being very nice and I hated him for it.

"Because now everybody hates me. Including me."

"Really, Rachel. So you finally slept with me? You have so many years ahead of you. It's a small thing, really. I've slept with loads of people."

I felt worse, then. About everything. About not dying and about Al and his history. I felt so small and powerless and I absolutely hated it. I weirdly wished for my dad at this point. He'd tell me I wasn't a sexpot. "Am I really a sexpot?" I asked, since Al was the only one around not yelling at me.

"I don't even know what a sexpot is. But when I find out, I'm getting one." He was joking, and I couldn't help laughing at his awful humor. His jokes were always funny, they were just about awful things. "If I had an idea of what a sexpot was, I'd say that I've met many, many sexpots, and you are not one. I've told you, you're worth a lot more than that."

"When did you tell me that?" I asked. I didn't remember that.

"When we switched names back and I asked you to come live in the Ever-After. You could be respected here. You are worth so much more than they are ever going to give you over there."

"But I belong there," I said.

"Do you?" he asked. I wanted to curl up and sleep. Sleep, and then wake up and start over.

"Uh huh. Ivy and Jenks wouldn't have gotten so mad if they didn't care about me. This is your fault."

"Rachel, I have tolerated your needless crying, but I will not tolerate you blaming me. It takes two or more people to have consensual sex. You consented. I don't see what this 'fault' you are talking about is, but it is clearly shared. Please, have some personal accountability."

But that was the worse part. That I ahd wanted to have sex with a demon.

"You are demon kin, Rachel. It's not a crime to sleep with your own kind."

"You said you wouldn't break my heart afterward," I said quietly. I felt so bad I didn't really care what I said or how stupid it was.

"I'm not breaking your heart, Rachel."

I sat up and looked at him, realizing it was true. "Ivy and Jenks are only trying to help."

Al huffed. "I suppose so. In their own misguided way."

I realized I wanted him to hold me so I didn't feel so awful. If he loved me everything would be okay and I would be justified. But that's not the way it works. Demons don't love anyone.

He must have seen it in my thoughts because he said, "Rachel, I care about you, but I don't love you." I looked away. "Don't act so hurt. You don't love me either." I realized this was true. Suddenly I thought of something.

"Are we in some sort of demon mating experiment?" I asked.

Al looked baffled. "Once again, I don't even know what that is."

"It's where Newt makes us be in the same room until we make a demon baby."

"Why would Newt do that?" he asked.

"So there can be a demon baby!"

"I don't believe so. She likes being the only female. She likes the power. That's why she's after you."

"Well what about Dali? He's the one who said you could be my teacher."

"No one wants me to be your teacher, Rachel. They all want you for themselves. I don't think we're in this 'demon baby mating experiment' of yours. Really. I should have finished checking you out in the workroom."

"But could I possibly be pregnant?" I asked. This was important. "And if so, would an earth magic contraception charm work or would I need a demon one?"

"Demons don't have contraception curses, Rachel. We haven't needed one in five thousand years. And it would depend on how close to a demon you are. No one knows. On the one hand, you can't invoke higher witch magic, but on the other you can live in reality during the daylight." He was standing up now and facing the fire. I felt really alone. I wanted him back here. I didn't want to be pregnant and I didn't want to be pregnant alone.

"What happens if I am?"

"Then you come immediately to live here with me where you'll be protected until the baby is born. I don't know what happens then. Newt will probably take it." I had a horrible image of Al and I in his bedroom with a little pink and white cradle with a tiny version of the thing Al turned into to frighten Treble in it, cooing at me. Al was holding a stuffed gargoyle. I wanted to vomit. I'd better not be pregnant. "Perhaps you should ask Trenton Aloysius Kalamack."

"Trent would shoot me on the spot," I said. "Anyone would. Al, I don't want to have your baby."

"Go get yourself a contraception charm. It's the only thing you can do, regardless."

I stood up and walked over to him to put my arms around him. I just didn't want to feel so alone, so I gave in to the need for him to touch me.

He kissed me and said, "Don't fear, Rachel. Demon birthrates were always low. You probably aren't with child. We just aren't quite the child-rearing types. Gets in the way of parties."

I tried to laugh. He reeked of burnt amber, but his coat was soft, and soon I was in the line and back at my church.

God, that was an angsty chapter! Well, you can't have sex with a demon, come back to your church, tell your vampire and pixy roommates, keep everyone in character, and have it all be hunky dory. I almost want to apologize for all this drama. But let it be known through the hills and plains, I HAVE A PLOT! It just needs some time to settle in. Receive its orders. Fly to Cincinatti.