What Exactly do I Herald? (A Crisis of the Spirit)
As told by Esviya:
The 'Inquisition?' The 'Herald of Andraste?' What had I walked into? What had I stepped in? It all happened so quickly!
Rest had come, but in a fearful way. I had felt relaxed while I recovered, but there was little means of knowing whether I had died. I'm still not certain why I was able to sleep so comfortably. Some part of me must have known that I was in good hands.
But things quickly spiraled from there. I wanted to keep sleeping. I wanted this to be a dream. But mouths were moving around me, creating all sorts of stories about my past, the mark, my intentions, and the intentions of the new Inquisition. I had a feeling that very few people cared what my thoughts on everything were. I heard their whispers, their rumors about me, as I tried to dream.
By the Dread Wolf!
I knew that I did not believe that I was in any way guided by Divine providence. It was an anomaly of time and bad luck that put me in the position to receive the magic of the rift. It would be an outright lie to believe for their sake. But I knew that if I didn't show some sort of outwardly doubt, if I didn't question the logical view of why this all had happened, that I would wound the hopes of people who needed to believe that I was sent by a higher power.
All of that nonsense precluded my own beliefs, my background. I decided that I would hold this anger in, and see if it subsided on its own. But it still meant that I was basically no more than a bandage to heal the rifts.
It seemed the only way to mark myself apart from this insanity is to lead through my actions.
Since our organization is so new, we've been trying to win over support from the people outside of Redcliffe by gathering small favors. Mother Giselle set me on this path, and I am grateful to have her support, and her ear. She seems to be willing to let me lean on her for the time being.
And Varric, Cassandra and Solas accompany me everywhere outside of Haven. Though I mostly listen, they all seem to be getting to know each other quite well. I am glad they are on my side, and even more so for their company...