Steve stared at the house in front of him and then at the phone he was holding, checking the map once again, making sure that he was at the right place. Once he was sure, he finally walked towards the door and ring the bell. As he waited, he felt nervous. It had been a long time since they meet and Steve was excited to meet him again, though he wished it was under better circumstances.

It took a while before the door was opened by a red-eyed Thor, looking like he hadn't slept for several days. Steve was a little taken aback by how weary Thor looked, but he forced himself to smile.

"Hey, want to eat with me? I will pay."

Steve realized that it was a bad idea for his wallet to offer to pay everything considering how much both of them can eat, but he didn't really regret it. He did almost cry seeing the bill, but seeing that Thor looked happier, his mourning was cut short.

They now sat on a bench in the park near the restaurant they chose, feeling full. Steve felt tired—he just finished a mission less than 60 hours ago before he went to London. Even with the serum, he still felt tired. But if he didn't go, he would feel worried and bothered. As soon as he could get a hold of the phone he used daily, he was welcomed by a ton of messages. Apparently, a lot of things happened during his weeks-long mission—Jane being brought to Asgard, Thor's mother's death, London almost getting leveled, Loki's death, and Thor choosing to stay on Earth to guard it.

In summary: Jane and Thor went through a lot of things.

One of the messages from Jane asked him if he could come to London for Thor so Thor would have a friend while she was away on a one-week conference and helped him deal with what happened. Apparently, Darcy was busy with school and Thor really didn't know anyone else. She even offered to pay for the flight. Steve felt bad he was two days late reading the message, though he ended up agreeing to go to London, anyway. He ended up having a short phone call with Jane, with her telling him about how Thor acted like he was fine for the sake of everyone thought it was obvious that he was still grieving. He felt burdened though when Jane asked him to comfort Thor and helped him cope since he had a lot of experience with loss.

Considering that his way of dealing with his own grief was by not talking about it, it was like the blind leading the blind.

"I think I have been here before, during the war," Steve said, after they sat in silence for a while, "London has changed, too."

He had a fantastic memory, but in the rush of war sometimes he couldn't really remember which places he had visited.

"A lot of things really changed during your sleep, did not they?" Thor wondered, playing the umbrella he brought, stabbing the ground repeatedly with it, "I think Midgard evolve much quicker than other realms now."

"Yeah," Steve agreed, and they were silent once again.

Steve didn't really know what to say. He was afraid that his awkward self would say something wrong, yet at the same time, he wanted to offer words that could comfort Thor. Despite knowing Thor for some time now, Thor still felt larger than him—larger, livelier in the way that made Steve felt like his messy self was not worthy enough to be the one who tried to be a friend to Thor. But Steve could recognize the sadness that Thor tried hard to hide in front of him and perhaps it was not the time to dwell about himself.

Steve sighed and finally tried to talk.

"It was hard when my mother died, but I managed to go through because I had Bucky. And when Bucky died—" Steve accidentally choked, so he took a breath and reminded himself that it was 67 years ago, not two years ago. He swallowed his grief and continued, "When Bucky died, Peggy tried to help me cope."

Thor looked at him, surprise clear on his face. He must have thought this came out randomly and—yeah, Steve was bad at him.

"What I am trying to say is, if you need a friend, I am here," Steve said, finally to the point, "It's okay to mourn openly, you know. It's not a sign of weakness."

Steve felt like a hypocrite saying that.

Thor didn't answer, seemingly thinking about something. After a while, he smiled sadly and asked, "Where are you staying, Steven?"

"A hotel. I think it's not really far from here."

"Can I stay with you?"

Steve was going to kill Natasha.

He wiped the tears had wetted his cheeks, feeling silly for crying because of children's movies. Thor was not in a much better shape than he was though. He was sobbing more openly than Steve and hadn't stopped choking on his tears, Steve felt worried for him. The movies Natasha gave him was supposed to be uplifting—but she didn't mention that they could also be very sad. They both bawled when the movie became about family—Thor because he just lost some of his family, Steve, because he missed having a family, no matter how small it was.

Because they were both masochists, they still continued watching another movie and then cried again. At least the movies gave Thor a reason to weep openly. Even though now Steve was pretty sure that the sheet of his hotel bed was pretty wet, he didn't mind.

They were both laying on their stomachs, huddled together to watch the movies on the small screen of Steve's laptop.

"I am sorry," Steve said, once they were finished with another movie, "I thought these are for kids."

Thor rubbed his eyes, trying to erase the remnant of his tears.

"I enjoyed them greatly," he said, his voice was hoarse, deeper than usual, "Though perhaps we should do some searching first before we indulge ourselves in the movies."

They really just played whatever Natasha put on the hard drive, without researching anything. At least Natasha was not the kind who would put porn in there…right? To be honest, Steve still wasn't sure if he knew Natasha all that well, though he had worked with her a lot and she tried to help him adjust by suggesting a few things. Natasha just had too many masks Steve needed to unmask.

"Yeah, this is Natasha's fault," Steve said, wanting to insist that it was not his fault at all they ended up like this. He sat up and stretched, feeling stiff.

Thor followed suit and moved to take his phone on the counter, checking it for new messages, probably. Not long after that, Thor turned to him and asked, "My Jane asked what we were doing, should we tell her?"

"Sure?" Steve answered. Why not? He saw no reasons why they shouldn't tell Jane.

Well, maybe they can omit the parts where they cried like babies, and just included the parts where they watched movies. But then Thor took a selfie, even including Steve who was sitting on the bed behind him, so Steve frowned and wondered, "Why are you taking a photo?"

"I find the ability to take an instant painting fascinating," Thor explained while typing, "I have been trying to learn the art of this."

"Yeah, it's pretty great," Steve concurred. He wished it was this easy to take photos in his time, because then he would have more photos of his mother, who he had started to miss again. He watched Thor sending a message and suddenly realized something, which he voiced out loud right away, "…don't tell Stark that you can use a phone."

Thor put his phone down and joined Steve on the bed again, asking, "Why?"

Steve shrugged, "No reason, just don't tell him."

"You are puzzling.

"He expected us to be a bumbling idiot when it comes to technology, I play along with him," he finally explained, finding it no use to hide it. He had only met Stark for a few times, and it seemed that Stark wouldn't stop thinking he had no idea how this century worked. Sometimes he wondered if it would be worse for Thor, who was not from earth at all.

"You have no problem of him thinking you are not smart?"

Steve was used to people underestimating him, though ididn't mean he liked it.

"Well, I do have a problem with that," Steve said, but then grinned, "But I really enjoyed making him frustrated by asking stupid questions."

"I believe you are what Darcy call 'a troll'," Thor laughed—his laughed sounded like a lullaby that brightened up the night, "I won't tell him. Maybe one day I will be able to see his frustrated face you enjoy so much."

"Oh, I would pay to see you frustrate him," Steve said. He had a feeling that Thor would be great at that. Thor grinned at that, but turned his head towards the laptop.

"Shall we watch another movie?" he asked.

Steve shook his head.

"Actually, I think I am gonna take a shower," Steve said, feeling icky since he hadn't had a shower since he arrived earlier this morning, "Feel free to use my laptop, though."

"Ah, I should take one, too," Thor said, looking weirdly thoughtful about that, "After you."

Steve nodded.

When he came back from the shower though, he found Thor asleep on the bed and nothing played on the laptop. He must have felt exhausted. Steve didn't have the heart to wake him up, so he just took the laptop and sat on the floor, working on paper works until he finally felt sleepy and slept on the floor even though the bed was big enough for him and Thor. He knew if he tried to sleep on the bed, his sleepiness might get chased away and he would lie awake for hours.

It puzzled him though when the next morning he ended up being on the bed, without remembering how he got there. He looked to his side and saw Thor sleeping right beside him, in a different position than last night. It suddenly occurred to him that Thor might be the one who had managed to move him without waking him up at all.

He had to take a cold shower to stop himself from blushing too much.

Steve ended up spending the rest of his stay in Thor and Jane's house. He didn't even think about staying there though he only booked the hotel room for one night; he was planning to change into a cheaper hotel, but they offered so he really ended up accompanying Thor there. They didn't even go out much other than to eat, they mostly stayed in the house and watched Star Trek so Steve could cross out one more thing on his notebook. They enjoyed the series though sometimes, Thor criticized it for not being accurate.

Steve wondered if he was doing good by taking Thor's mind off things, if he was doing more harm than good. He paid more attention to Thor, trying to gauge his emotional state. He looked better than when he met him two days ago and at least even if they were both lacking nights of sleep; it was not because of nightmares or grief, only because of movies.

Jane came back on an afternoon on the third day Steve's stay, bringing a bunch of souvenirs and luggage. He watched Thor greeted Jane happily, feeling like a third wheel when they kissed, which was a familiar feeling. After that, Thor offered to take care of all Jane's stuff, leaving him with Jane sitting down together on a sofa in the living room.

"Thank you for looking after him," Jane said, hugging him tightly. He patted her back lightly before pulling away.

"It's not a problem, I am sorry I was late," He said, "How about you? Are you okay?"

He knew how Thor was doing, but he was not sure about Jane. The things she went through was not easy, too. He was worried about both of them.

"Well, I am surprisingly doing okay, I guess," Jane shrugged, dismissing the concern, which made Steve frowned. She tried to explain, "I have been learning and researching about space for a long time, but the things I have seen still managed to surprise me."

"At least Thor is here now, right?" he said, because he knew how much effort Jane put into trying to make it possible for Thor to come back here again. She was really disappointed when they couldn't even meet after the battle of New York.

"Yeah, it's great, but I can't help but feeling he will go away again, someday, after all this is not his home."

He wondered about that, too. Thor did say he wanted to say to protect Earth, but didn't he still have duties? He was still a prince, after all. He wondered if Jane and Thor would be able to settle down, someday.

"Having a relationship with an alien is hard, yeah?" Steve asked.

Jane punched him lightly, "You make it sound weird."

"How?" Steve laughed. He was not wrong, Thor was an alien.

"Are you talking about me?" Thor's voice suddenly interrupted them. He shook his head and chided them, "That's not nice."

"No, we are not," Steve denied uselessly. Thor took a seat in between him and Jane, making the sofa felt very crowded. They only managed to squeeze themselves there because Jane had a tiny frame.

"So, Steve, when are you going back?" Jane asked.

"Tonight."

Jane had to bend so she could glare at Steve, "That's so fast, you have only been here for like 3 days."

"Well, I have works to come back to," he shrugged. He didn't have any mission incoming, at least one he was aware of. But he needed to be near and on standby in case there were emergency missions.

Thor hummed at that and suddenly wondered, "Should I find a work to do?"

"Hmm, you can," Steve said, "What are you good at?"

Thor frowned and answered, "Fighting?"

"Hm, martial arts? I have been learning a lot of new fighting techniques. Maybe you can learn one."

"Really? Can you show me?"

That was how several hours before his flight, he ended up teaching Thor some new fighting moves he had learned, while Jane watched them sparred together.

Steve was dazed.

He stared at the distance, wondering if he just fucked up.

He really shouldn't have sex with someone who he had only met a few days ago, someone who shouldn't be dragged into his life. Sam Wilson was too good for him and Steve felt guilty. Steve was interested when he saw Sam on his morning joggings and somehow managed to finally interact with the man—through lots of teasing. Talking to Sam was really nice and they had an easy chemistry. He even ended up visiting the VA Sam worked at and went out on a date with him.

And now there they were. At Sam's house, after spending a night together.

"Hey, are you okay?" Sam asked, approaching him at the window, "That's a guilty face. You regret last night?"

"Oh, no, not at all," Steve denied. He didn't regret it because it was great. He felt guilty, though. He had been lonely lately, and he felt like he had used Sam to decrease that loneliness.

"You have someone you like?" Sam asked, making Steve felt flustered. He was not sure of the answer to that question.

"Huh, what?"

"Well, if you feel guilty, I figure it's because you already have someone or because you like someone else so you feel like you betray them," Sam said, leaning on the wall and crossing his arms, "And I don't think Captain America will cheat, so the second one is more probable."

Steve tilted his head and looked down, trying to think of a possible lie.

"Well, I may be in an open relationship."

Sam raised his eyebrow. They only knew each other for several days, but Sam seemed to be able to read him easily, "You are not."

"Well, it's not both," Steve confessed, "I just—you are my first in this century."

"Oh," Sam said, genuinely surprised about that, "Well, you know that this doesn't have to develop into something more, right? I understand if you don't feel ready for any kind of relationship."

"Yeah," Steve agreed. Of course, he knew one-night stands existed, but it felt wrong to do that with someone as amazing as Sam. But he did not think he was ready to be in a relationship.

"Don't feel like you used me," Sam said, once again reading his mind, "If you do, then I used you, too."

He flinched. He was honestly unsure of how he felt right now, it was a mess. He sighed and decided that he should get out of Sam's hair soon. He shouldn't share his baggage too much.

"It's really nice to meet you, Sam. I think I should go."

"But I was going cook breakfast," Sam protested. He was wearing an apron and Steve felt bad, but he hadn't started cooking yet so he still refused.

"It's okay, I don't need breakfast."

That was a lie. He needed breakfast, but not here. Not now. He needed to sort out himself, first.

Sam sighed, "You will stop by the VA again, right?"

Steve thought about it, wondering if he should or not, but for now, he just said, "Yeah, I think I will."

Sam smiled brightly, a smile that Steve returned. Maybe if Steve managed to sort out his feelings about this and relationships in general, they could have a chance. Maybe they could be something more. But then several days later, he found out that Hydra was still alive and ended up dragging Sam to his fight, endangering the man's life. It was then when it hit him that he would always endanger everyone he loved, even if it was not on purpose. He ended up crushing any will he want about having a relationship.

Steve had a hard time trying to wake up. His head felt fuzzy and his eyelids felt so heavy. Whenever consciousness started to approach him, it was chased away not long after. He had been awake but not for long. He still could feel the pain of his wounds—wounds inflicted by the Winter Soldier. By Bucky. Even in his haze, his mind kept replaying his counters with Bucky. And there were times when those scenes almost pulled it out of his sleep.

Like now.

"He seems to be sleeping a lot," he heard someone said in a hushed voice, someone who sounded like Thor. He didn't think Thor was really there, though, he was probably Steve's imagination. There was no reason for Thor to be there.

"Yeah, he probably feels real tired. The adrenaline rush had ended, you know?" He heard Sam said, "He went through a lot these past few days."

And then he drifted off again, not hearing anything again. It took a few hours before he finally started to wake up again, though he still felt groggy. He opened his eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the light that felt blinding. He turned his head, expecting to find Sam still sitting on his right, but instead who he saw was someone else.

"Thor?" he asked, frowning, wondering if he was hallucinating, "Are you real?"

Thor chuckled at that question but he held Steve's hand to show that he was real, that he was really there—it made Steve wondered if he had asked the same question before. Thor assured him, "Yes, I am here, I am sorry for being late."

"When did you arrive?" Steve wondered. He slept too much, he wondered why he felt so tired. He was a super soldier, he usually recovered fast, and he had been injured before, but he never felt this tired. How long was he out? Thor came here quite quickly and Steve kind of wanted to kiss Thor for that.

"Yesterday," Thor answered, not letting Steve's hand go, "Lady Romanoff and your friend told us what happened."

"I see," Steve muttered. He looked ahead, trying to keep his eyes open. He wondered if Sam had gone home. He hadn't thanked him for his help.

"You did a good job," Thor said, bringing him out of his reverie. He bit his lips, and sighed, "Though I failed to see why you had to sacrifice yourself."

"I had to make Bucky remember," Steve explained, now choking again at the memory of Bucky, at the knowledge at how Bucky ended up as The Winter Soldier, it was all his fault, "I had to save him."

He must have looked miserable, more than he thought, because the next thing Thor did was letting his hand go and stroke his hair, "Rest, my friend, you are pained."

Steve tried to take a deep breath even though it was painful when his muscles contracted, his glassy eyes looked at Thor again, hand reaching out to hold Thor's hand again. Thor took his hand and Steve could only said, "Thank you for coming,"

"I regret that I didn't manage to come sooner," Thor said, "I found out about this through the television."

"It's okay. Sam and Nat went home?"

"Yes, I figured they need to rest too, both of them are injured, though not as gravely as you are," Thor explained and then told him, "I promised them I will watch out for you."

Steve felt relieved hearing that. Sam hadn't gone home and Nat had so many things to take care of, and yet they still went here to accompany him.

"Good, they were stubborn."

"What are you going to do, now?" Thor wondered, this time not letting Steve's hand go. Steve barely registered that they were still holding hands, he could only focus on a few things—mostly just his thoughts. His damn thoughts.

"I am not sure," Steve muttered, "I just destroyed my employers and lost my job, I need some time to think."

"You have a lot of time."

That was all Steve had—time. At least that was one thing he had an abundance of.

"It truly feels like I died for nothing," Steve said, though he closed his eyes, trying to think positive thoughts, "But I guess there are things I gained, too."

"Your Bucky?"

Maybe. He needed to find Bucky first and saved him before he could say that he got Bucky back. But at least, now he knew that he was alive, that he could remember everything again. Bucky saved him instead of letting him die, there was a hope. The thought of saving Bucky gave him more energy, now.

"Yeah, I have new friends, too."

"Sam Wilson?" Thor asked. He wondered how much Sam and Thor had talked to each other, he vaguely remembered hearing them talk to each other.

Steve smiled, "Natasha, too, I guess."

At least, Steve would like to think that they were friends now, even if it was one-sided. Natasha, as always, was a complicated puzzle that Steve was still trying to put together.

"Am I your friend?" Thor asked and Steve gave him a look because the answer was obvious. He would like to think that he was halfway done to complete the Thor puzzle.

"You have been since a long time ago."

Thor grinned happily, "I am happy to hear that."

Steve's eyes started to close again.