Rust Never Sleeps Remix: Alternate and Deleted Scenes Chapter 4, a final fantasy i-vi fanfic

Chapters Seventeen and Eighteen

Table of Contents

Chapter Seventeen:
Hey Miss General Lady, Sing a Song for Me
1) Original Intro to the Opera (Script)
2) Celes Speaks with Maria:
_ _A) First Intro Version (Mostly Script)
_ _B) Second Intro Version (Partial Script)
3) Darkness and a Locked Door (Abandoned Intro)
4) Celes Loses Her Temper
5) North Figaro
6) Terra Bounces like a Rubber Ball
7) Lead Up to the Opera:
_ _A) "People were stupid and would believe anything as long as it was entertaining."
_ _B) Terra's Sad and Lonely (Cut Exposition)
_ _C) Terra Meditates with Sabin (Cut Exposition)
_ _D) Terra's Visit to the Dressing Room (Draft)

Chapter Eighteen:
Octopus' Garden 2: It's Just My Imagination Running Away with Me
1) The Dream Oath: Draco and Maria:
_ _A) Lyrics Script
_ _B) FFIV Easy Type Version
2) Ultros Battle (Script Version)
3) FFVIII's Squall Makes an Appearance with FFIX's Zidane
4) "Very polite for a scoundrel."
5) The Ao3 Difference (Final Version)

Chapter Seventeen:
Hey Miss General Lady, Sing a Song for Me

Original Intro to the Opera (Script)

Scene: Opera House
Locke, Sabin, Terra, and Celes enter the fancy building, where they find the Impresario pacing in a tizzy. He catches a glimpse of Celes from the corner of his eye and bolts over to her.

IMPRESARIO:
Maria! You're okay!

CELES:
Well, this is awkward.

LOCKE:
Actually, we've been sent by Maria so that Celes here can take her place.

IMPRESARIO:
Take her place?! Heavens no! You'll ruin the performance! Opening night will be ruined!

CELES:
Better to bomb the opening night than lose your star performer.

Silence.

IMPRESARIO:
I do have to admit: you could pass for Maria in a heartbeat.

TERRA:
She can even sing like her, too!

IMPRESARIO:
*sighs*
This is simply horrible! I want the performance to be a success, but if something happens to Maria…

LOCKE:
Maria said that you know this Setzer guy. Any idea when he'd make an attempt to crash the party?

IMPRESARIO:
He'll probably show up right at the climax of the first act. He loves to make an entrance. *groans*

LOCKE:
Even better! We'll let him nab her then! That's when we'll follow him back to his airship and commandeer it for ourselves!

SABIN:
And if he doesn't go down without a fight?

LOCKE:
I'm sure the four of us can take down a single guy.

IMPRESARIO:
Let him take Maria?! Are you people mad?! If anything should happen-

LOCKE:
Did you not hear my opening statement, man?! Maria sent us so that Celes here can take her place while she hides from Setzer.

IMPRESARIO:
Come again?

CELES:
*rolls eyes*
Oh, for fuck's sake. This isn't MagiTek science.

LOCKE:
You said yourself that Celes looks like Maria right? She also sings like her. She will be Maria's double.

IMPRESARIO:
So Maria…

LOCKE:
Will be nowhere near here.

IMPRESARIO:
That's- That's brilliant!

LOCKE:
*nonchalantly*
Yeah… I have my moments.

The IMPRESARIO grabs CELES by the hand and drags her towards the end of the hallway.

IMPRESARIO:
Come, Maria! We must get you fitted for your dress!

CELES:
Hey, now! Wait a second! Wearing a dress was not part of the deal! I'm a general, not a god damned opera floozy!

LOCKE and SABIN laugh.

TERRA:
Celes? In a dress? I like the idea of that.

LOCKE:
Lady, it'll blow your mind.

Celes Speaks with Maria (First Intro Version Mostly Script)

Celes stared out the window into the rain drenched night. Jidoor was one of the few places in the world she wanted to return to, but considering a surprise storm had come from nowhere like an unexpected plot device they hadn't much of a choice. Still, she had to admit that Jidoor at night looked pretty between the raindrops. It wasn't Terra pretty, but… That was an unfair comparison; she was biased. Jidoor at night didn't make her utter the names of gods she didn't believe in under her breath.

She sighed and rested her forehead on the cool glass window. Despite the oncoming storm, she had suggested going straight back to Figaro and speaking to Edgar about their trip to Vector. Locke, possibly thinking with his dick more so than his brain, had sidelined them into returning to Jidoor and speaking with Maria. Of course, it hadn't helped that Terra and Sabin had sided against her and her concerns. Sabin hadn't been surprising. Maria flaunted her body in ways that turned the men into drooling retards and made Celes uncomfortable with her own. Terra on the other hand… That girl had only one thing on her mind and that was the food located in the diva's pantry.

Celes also had to admit: She was glad she was spending the evening out of the rain. She just wasn't going to admit that to anyone as of yet.

As far as Celes was concerned, Maria was only good for warm food, a cold bottle of booze, and a place to stay in a city that looked down on adventurers. And holy hellfire, did that woman love her alcohol and, man oh man, was that supply never ending. But she couldn't bring herself to drink tonight despite the drinking atmosphere. The bottle sat nearby, open and growing warmer with every untouched moment.

Growing up, Celes had listened to The Dream Oath records enough that she knew most of the words by heart. She had idolized Maria for her voice and acting ability. It was from those records that she had learned to sing, but in meeting the songstress her respect had become crushed. She had expected some form of femininity, not the bubbling crackpot of female hormones that she had found. The fact that they looked like a polar opposite identical mother/daughter pair did not help either. If anything, she mused that more likely was what fueled her dismissiveness. Although, she had to admit, Maria wasn't a bad person. She just did things that Celes didn't agree with, such as dressing and acting like a promiscuous whore. Not to mention that atrocious Kohlingen accent. Good gods, no wonder Locke went out of his way to hide his.

"All this broodin' y'all're doin' is gonna make ya more wrinkly than a lonely shirt forgotten under the bed!"

Celes, nearly startled out of her knickers, clutched at her chest to keep her heart from failing. Maria somehow had managed to sneak into the room without her noticing. Baldur's Gate, had she been that self-absorbed that she had missed that? "Where the bloody hell did you come from?" she exclaimed with the screeching of panic. This sent Maria into a fit of laughter. It was so much like her own that she couldn't help feel creeped out by it.

"Well, darlin'," Maria said, "like most folk these days, Ah came in on my own two legs through that door on over yonder."

Celes tried to think up some kind of witty response, but none came. This left her with the weak response of "Yeah. I guess that makes sense."

MARIA:

Sugar, why the hoo-ha y'all alone in the dark?

CELES:
Sometimes I feel like being alone. It helps me to think.

MARIA:
Lemme guess, sugar. Y'all ain't a big fan of Jidoor.

CELES:
I… Actually, yeah. That's pretty spot on.

MARIA:
An' considerin' that y'all go to great lengths to avoid me, Ah get the impression that y'all ain't a big fan of mine.

CELES:
I… I wouldn't say that. The Dream Oath is my favorite record. I just…

MARIA:
It ain't because of Mr. Cole, ain't it?

CELES:
What? No. Look, I just… I'm just a little creeped out by you because of how you look.

MARIA:
What the hoo-ha is that supposed ta mean?

CELES:
You, uh, do realize how much we look alike, right? Being around you is like being around me if I were more…womanly.

MARIA:
*smugly smirks*
Ah'm assumin' that y'all're talkin' about how Ah dress and act. Ah can assure you, sugar, that Ah don't do it out of no love. No siree. In fact, Ah believe that you and Ah may be more alike than y'all think. Ah have to dress and act this way to be taken seriously round these parts. And Ah have to do somethin' to keep those bastard Jidoorian menfolk and their wallets comin' to the opera house. Otherwise, Ah'll just be right back where Ah came from. And Ah sure as hell don't want to go back to Zozo or Kohlingen, if y'all catch my drift.

CELES deflates. MARIA hugs her.

MARIA:
Ah envy you, darlin'. Y'all were given an option in life that Ah never had; to be yourself. If'n it been up to me, Ah'd of joined the watch and bagged myself a couple of beautiful girls.

CELES:
Wait. You're...?

MARIA winks.

MARIA:
Ah'm more in the middle ground, sugar, but close enough. And before y'all ask, such shenanigans hadn't been as accepted when Ah'd been your age. But comin' out now would ruin my career, y'know?

CELES:
I had no idea. I'm sorry.

MARIA:
*laughs*
Ah feel honored, darlin'. Mr. Cole did mention that y'all never apologize for nothin'. An' speakin' of looks, Ah think Ah might have a way into Vector for y'all.

CELES:
Really? How?

MARIA:
Before Ah get into details, Ah do have a question for ya, darlin'. Ah heard tell that y'all're from Vector? An Imperial General?

CELES:
Yes to the first. No longer to the second.

MARIA:
Do y'all happen to know my father?

Silence.

CELES:
Vector is a bloody big place. I need more than that. What was his name? Was he a lower plate civilian? An upper plater? Was he member of the military?

MARIA:
*overwhelmed*
Ah don't know. All Ah know is that he lived in Vector. My momma died when Ah was a youngun' and my grandparents just refused to speak of 'im.

CELES:
I'm sorry. I can't help you.

MARIA:
It's alright, darlin'. Here.

MARIA produces a note.

NOTE:
Dearest Maria, the time for me to settle down has come. Like a flame to a moth, your beauty has captivated me from afar. It haunts me in my dreams. It makes my heart aflutter in waking hours. I will have you for my own. At the climax, I will be coming to sweep you away. Until then, dream of me. – Setzer Gabbiani

CELES:
What the bloody hell is this and how does this get us into Vector?

MARIA:
Y'all don't know the world's most notorious gambler?

CELES:
Uh, no. Should I?

MARIA:
Y'all should get familiar, darlin'. He owns the world's only airship.

CELES:
*raises an eyebrow*
Really…? Well, this changes everything.

Celes Speaks with Maria (Second Intro Version)

Celes stared out the window into the rain drenched night. Jidoor was one of the few places in the world she wanted to return to, but considering a surprise storm had come from nowhere like an unexpected plot device she hadn't much of a choice. Still, she had to admit that Jidoor at night looked pretty between the raindrops. It wasn't Terra pretty, but… That was an unfair comparison; she was biased. Jidoor at night didn't make her utter the names of gods she didn't believe in under her breath.

She sighed and rested her forehead on the cool glass window. Despite the oncoming storm, she had pressed the group into going straight back to Figaro and speaking to Edgar about their trip to Vector. Locke, possibly thinking with his dick more so than his brain, had sidelined them into returning to Jidoor for a sight of Maria. Of course, it hadn't helped that Terra and Sabin had sided against her and her concerns. Sabin hadn't been surprising. Maria flaunted her body in ways that turned the men into drooling retards and made Celes uncomfortable with her own. Terra on the other hand… That girl had had only one thing on her mind and that had been the food located in the diva's pantry.

Celes also had to admit: She was glad she was spending the evening out of the rain. She just wasn't going to admit that to anyone as of yet.

Growing up, Celes had listened to The Dream Oath records enough that she knew most of the words by heart. She had idolized Maria for her voice and acting ability. It was from those records that she had learned to sing, but in meeting the songstress her respect had become crushed. She had been expecting some form of femininity, but not the bubbling crackpot of female hormones that she had found. The fact that they looked like a polar opposite identical mother/daughter pair did not help either. If anything, she mused that likely was what fueled her dismissiveness. Although, she had to admit, Maria wasn't a bad person. She just did things that Celes didn't agree with, such as dressing and acting like a promiscuous whore. Not to mention that atrocious Kohlingen accent. Good gods, it was no wonder Locke went out of his way to hide his.

"All this broodin' y'all're doin' is gonna make ya more wrinkly than a lonely shirt forgotten under the bed!"

"Well, darlin'," Maria said, "like most folk these days, Ah came in on my own two legs through that door on over yonder."

Celes tried to think up some kind of witty response, but none came. This left her with the weak response of "Yeah. I guess that makes sense."

"Sugar, why the hoo-ha y'all alone in the dark?"

Celes shrugged with an air of indifference. "Sometimes I feel like being alone," she said. "It helps me to think."

Maria giggled once more. She then said, "Lemme guess. Y'all ain't a big fan of Jidoor."

In all fairness, that observation was pretty spot on. She wasn't. Celes wondered if she were more transparent than she thought or if Maria was more astute than she showed.

Maria continued, "An' considerin' that y'all go to great lengths to avoid me, Ah get the impression that y'all ain't a big fan of mine."

No, Maria was more astute than she let on. This made her even more untrustworthy. "I… I wouldn't say that," Celes faltered out. "The Dream Oath is my favorite record. I just…" …think that you're a damn whore. She couldn't bring herself to finish the statement or to tack on the belief that this would lead others to believe that she was a whore as well.

One of Maria's hands lightly found its way to Celes' shoulder with a quiet chuckle. "It ain't because of Mr. Cole, ain't it?"

Celes was quick to shrug that touch off. She couldn't help but to raise her eyebrows with question. What the hell did Locke have to do with anything? "Look, I just…" She tried to find something in the rain drenched city outside to help her form words, but could find nothing. "I'm just a little creeped out by you because of how you look."

If Celes had ever questioned what a taut surprised expression looked like on her face, she now knew thanks to Maria. "What the hoo-ha is that supposed ta mean?" She also now knew what she sounded like to others when her voice went shrill. It was kind of humorous, actually.

"You do realize how much we look alike, right? Being around you is like being around me if I were more…my gender."

A smug expression flooded across Maria's face as she swiped a blonde curl from her face. "Ah'm assumin' that y'all're talkin' about how Ah dress and act," she declared. "Ah can assure you, sugar, that Ah don't do it out of no love. No siree. In fact, Ah believe that you and Ah may be more alike than y'all think. Ah have to dress and act this way to be taken seriously round these parts. And Ah have to do somethin' to keep those bastard Jidoorian menfolk and their wallets comin' to the opera house. Otherwise, Ah'll just be right back where Ah came from. And Ah sure as spit don't want to go back to Zozo or Kohlingen, if y'all catch my drift."

Celes didn't know how to respond and turned to look out the window with embarrassment. She had never considered that Maria's promiscuousness was an act to keep her relevant. Could it be then that she had been wrong with the belief that the songstress had been born with a silver spoon in her mouth? Actually, what else in her beliefs had she been wrong about?

She turned back when she felt a touch on her shoulder. Maria embraced her with a warm hug, a smile genuine, and a twinkle in her eye. "Ah envy you, darlin'. Y'all were given an option in life that Ah never had; the option to be yourself. If'n it been up to me, Ah'd of joined the watch and bagged myself a couple of beautiful girls."

"Wait. You're...?"

Celes was dumbfounded when she suddenly felt her back pressed against the cold glass window. Maria was still embracing her; their faces a mere hair's width from each other. What the fresh hell was this? Was…Maria going to kiss her? Where the bloody hell had this come from? Was she after something else? Oh, good gods, what if Locke or Sabin saw this? She'd never hear the end of it. More frighteningly, what if Terra happened to come across this? The room would be nothing but charred, smoldering remains.

There was only one way out of this. Celes quickly ran the plan out in her mind's projector. She'd hit Maria with an ice spell to stun her, then knock her to the floor. She'd run out the room at top speed, slide down the stairs' bannister, sling Terra over her shoulder, and find some other place to stay the night. Then men were on their own.

Reality returned when Maria laughed again and planted a quick kiss on Celes' cheek. The embrace was broken and physical boundaries were once again observed and respected. "Oh, mah stars! Ms. Chere, the look on your pretty little face is just simply adorable!"

Celes tried to will her reddening cheeks back to cold despite knowing that such a thing was impossible at this point. She was too embarrassed. She folded her arms across her chest for protection and opted to say nothing further entertaining to the songstress. She wasn't pretty nor was she adorable. She just was.

"To answer y'all's question, Ah'm more in the middle ground, sugar, but Ah'm close enough that y'all can just call me one. And before y'all ask, such shenanigans hadn't been as accepted when Ah'd been your age. But comin' out now would ruin my career, y'know?"

So that was it. Celes could now say that she knew of more of her kind besides herself and Terra. Edgar's contact no longer counted. She suspected that woman had been put up to it by him for his own amusement despite what he had said to the contrary. Still, Maria hadn't done anything out of malice and simply did what she had to to survive. Celes mumbled an apology into her chest. It was deserved, but one she didn't really want to give it.

Maria laughed again and roughly clapped a hand on Celes' bare shoulder. The sting caused a grimace and could be felt all the way down into her thighs. "Ah feel honored, darlin'!" Maria said. "Mr. Cole did mention that y'all never apologize for nothin'! An' speakin' of looks, Ah think Ah might have a way into Vector for y'all."

Really? Her? Now things were getting interesting. If Maria could get them safely into Vector, Celes would eat her shorts. That is, if she wore any.

"Before Ah get into details," Maria continued, "Ah do have a question for ya, darlin'. Ah heard tell that y'all're from Vector? An Imperial General?"

This was, Celes assumed, common knowledge. Why the questions? "Yes to the first. No longer to the second."

"Do y'all happen to know my father?"

Celes' ears throbbed from the silence.

CELES:
Vector is a bloody big place. I need more than that. What was his name? Was he a lower plate civilian? An upper plater? Was he member of the military?

MARIA:
*overwhelmed*
Ah don't know. All Ah know is that he lived in Vector. My momma died when Ah was a youngun' and my grandparents just refused to speak of 'im.

CELES:
I'm sorry. I can't help you.

MARIA:
It's alright, darlin'. Here.

MARIA produces a note.

CELES:
What the bloody hell is this and how does this get us into Vector?

MARIA:
Y'all don't know the world's most notorious gambler?

CELES:
Uh, no. Should I?

MARIA:
Y'all should get familiar, darlin'. He owns the world's only airship.

CELES:
*raises an eyebrow*
Really…? Well, this changes everything.

Darkness and a Locked Door (Abandoned Intro)

When Locke had said, "Let's go back to Jidoor. One of those aristocrats is bound to know of a way to Vector," Celes had had reservations about the idea. The only contact they personally had was Maria. Sure, the songstress probably had dozens of contacts, but there was doubt that any of them were the type that owned a ship. They were more likely to own a theatre or an actor's studio.

Upon reaching Casa de Scherwiz, they were greeted by darkness and a locked door.

Celes Loses Her Temper

"You'll have to pretend to be Maria so that you're the one that ends up on the airship. Then you can commandeer it and get the rest of us on board."

Celes buried her face in a palm, surprisingly quiet despite the tension in her body language. Terra shirked back as much as she could in anticipation of what was to come. The throbbing veins on Celes' forehead were a good indication as well as the clenching and unclenching of her other hand.

"So, this means I have to wear a dress, act 'womanly,' and fake that god awful Kohlingen accent," Celes said, abnormally calm and even. It hadn't been a question. That made things scary.

Locke nodded, albeit slowly.

"And I have to sing in front of not just you arseholes, but all of these other arseholes."

Again, Locke nodded.

"And then I have to single-handedly take control of an airship, unarmed and in a huge-arsed, battle unworthy dress."

Terra shivered as the temperature at the table dropped. She attempted to rub Celes' arm, but immediately pulled back from the immense chill. Frost began appearing on the table where Celes was touching it. If the other woman was holding her rage back, it was nearing the point of slipping free.

"Look, Celes," Locke adopted a soothing tone in an attempt to calm her, "I know those are all things that you don't particularly care for, but it's either this or we take the risk in traveling for weeks back to Figaro only to find out that Edgar has no idea how to get us there. And you did say that you'd do anything to get on that airship."

Before Terra was even aware of what had happened, Celes' chair was overturned, drinks were spilled, and Locke's ice covered collar was in Celes' hand. All it had taken was a split-second, a single split-second, and the entire atmosphere of the tavern had completely changed. With a squeal, Terra was on her feet and holding back Celes' free arm to prevent any punches from being thrown. Sabin was also on his feet attempting to separate the two. Locke, meanwhile, looked as if he had trousers filled with bricks.

"Celes, let him go!" Terra said.

It was a long moment before Celes even seemed to register that she had been spoken to. Never before had Terra ever truly felt fear in her presence, but there was a first time for everything. When Celes turned to look at her, it was if she were standing behind a shade. She looked like Celes, but her features had darkened so much that she might as well have been an entirely different person.

Celes scoffed and, with the cracking of ice, released her hold on Locke. He gasped for air when he landed on the table. "Thief," she spat with a low growl, "let's make one thing abundantly clear: I don't like people making plans involving me without asking me first."

North Figaro

Edgar sat on the edge of the cliff and studied the cold mountains of Narshe. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever imagine that this and the surrounding lands would be incorporated into the Figaro legacy. Several members of the Royal Figaro army had joked that he should rename the area "North Figaro", but he didn't feel that was appropriate. Narshe was a town with a rich history of, well, rocks, but despite its annexing into the Figaro Kingdom it still was its own entity. Something that the Gestahlian Empire failed to understand.

As a monarch, Edgar was big on the various cities in his kingdom being different.

Terra Bounces Like a Rubber Ball

The following morning, Terra found herself squealing in delight at the sight of the Jidoorian Opera House and its overly large, intricately carved pillars. As they approached, she latched onto Celes and bounced like a rubber ball. "Lookit! Lookit! Lookit!" she verbally dumped to the world around her. "Baldur's gate, it's so beautiful!"

"People were stupid and would believe anything as long as it was entertaining."

She was going to be taking the lead role in one of the world's most prestigious operas. She was going to be pretending to be the lead actress who had been playing that part for the last fifteen years. That actress was going to be in the wings watching and waiting for her cue to step in and take over; i.e. she'd be waiting for The Wandering Gambler to kidnap a Maria and then step in like nothing had happened. The whole concept was to fool the audience into thinking it was all part of the show.

Sneaky, considering there was no such scene in the opera. But, as Locke had said, people were stupid and would believe anything as long as it was entertaining.

Terra's Sad and Lonely (Cut Exposition)

The past few days had been rather drab and boring. Celes had been busy getting fitted for dresses, tested with makeup, and other various things regarding her new role in the opera. Terra had wanted to spend every moment with her and watch the transformation from military officer on the run to high class socialite.

Unfortunately, on the first day, she had been run out by the Impresario for "being in the way". She had tried a multitude of hiding places, dark corners, rafters, wardrobes. She had been caught every time, but her curiosity had gotten the best of her. She had needed to see what was happening! Sadly, spending time with Celes had been thrown out, even at night. There had been just so much to get ready for in such a short period of time.

She had ended up wandering the streets of Jidoor sad and alone.

On the second day, she again had attempted to watch Celes' transformation. Again she had been run out. Afterward, she had run into Locke, but Maria had been close by, as he had claimed, "for her protection". There had been no entertainment to be found there. Three's a crowd, as they say.

She had ended up rereading Frigg Asgard's journal front to back ten more times that day. This had proved beneficial. She had learned how to heal wounds at a distance.

On the final day, the morning of opening night, she had managed to catch Celes rising from bed.

Terra Meditates with Sabin (Cut Exposition)

She had initially tried joining Sabin in meditating in the grassy fields behind the opera house. "Meditating is a natural method of relaxing," he had said to her. "Something you definitely need." She had been tense, but considering that she had been forcefully separated from her shadow that was to be expected. "Just clear your mind and relax."

Terra's Visit to the Dressing Room (Draft)

In the mirror, there was a flash of green behind her towards the door. It seemed that someone had decided on a quick visit before show time. This was good. Celes needed the distraction to calm her nerves and she could think of no better one. "You can come closer, sweetheart. I'm not going to bite you."

Under normal circumstances, that would be all Terra needed to quickly close any distance and latch on like a vice grip. Hell, most of the time, Terra did it regardless of permission. The distance had been shortened, but her partner surprisingly kept her hands to herself. She was as red as the roses on the nearby dressing table (a gift from Maria) and acting more shy than a child with a crush on the babysitter.

Celes chuckled softly and cupped one of Terra's cheeks. She was incredibly warm to the touch and just as incredibly eager to lean into said touch. "What's the matter?" she said. "Between the two of us, I should be the one not talking."

Green eyes briefly made contact with hers before going back to the floor. Finally, Terra whispered, "You look beautiful."

Celes snorted. "I'm far from it. Pretty, maybe. Adorable is stretching it. Certainly not beautiful." She shivered when Terra embraced her and planted a kiss on her neck.

"Stop being so modest," Terra said as she batted at the ribbons dangling in Celes' hair. "You're beautiful and these ribbons suit you." Eye contact was made and consequently held.

"They'd suit you better."

"You know what'd actually suit me better?"

Terra leaned closer until their noses were touching. Her half-closed eyes and shallow breathing caused Celes to follow suit. She knew what was coming and it still excited her every time. She played dumb. "What's that?"

"You."

They kissed and soon broke for air. Those errant feelings were still there, immune to the medicine that Terra usually was. Celes, seeking comfort, rested her head on a bare shoulder. "I don't want to do this," she said.

The world went slightly darker when Terra nuzzled her. "Why?"

Celes buried herself even deeper into the embrace. "I can't do it," she mumbled. Rarely did she ever feel fear, but now that she was in the safety of Terra's arms, the knowledge that she was going to be on that stage in less than ten minutes was frightening. She started shivering, despite feeling overheated from all the layers of clothing. "I can't do it!" she said with more clarity and force. She felt lips touch her forehead as she tried to recall how to prevent panic.

"You can do it, Celes," Terra whispered in her ear. "I have faith in you."

"No, I can't! I'm going to forget the bloody words and my voice is going to crack…"

Suddenly, Celes found her head being held up by a firm grip on her chin and a set of green eyes steadily staring at her, willing her to cease her panic. "You've sang in front of Sabin and Locke for me." They kissed once more. "You can do it again tonight. Forget about Maria, the airship, Vector, the rest of the audience. Sing your heart out and pretend I'm the only one listening."

Chapter Eighteen:
Octopus' Garden 2: It's Just My Imagination Running Away with Me

Lyrics Script

Scene opens to a battle between DRACO and soldiers of the East.

NARRATOR:
*spoken*
The war between the East and the West
Was growing more violent by the day...
Draco, a soldier from the West,
Thinks of his love, Maria,
Is she safe? Is she waiting for him?

DRACO loses the battle. The soldiers leave, thinking he is dead.

DRACO:
O Maria!
O Maria!
My beloved, it's now clear,
Broken through the pain and the fear,
How much I long
To be with you.

MARIA's Scene

NARRATOR:
*spoken*
The Western armies were defeated,
And Maria's castle fell into the hands of the East.
Forced to wed the Eastern Prince Ralse,
Maria still thinks only of Draco
As she gazes at the stars each night...

MARIA:
O my hero, so far away,
Will I never see your smile?
Though love fades away, like night into day,
It's not a forgotten dream.

I'm the darkness, you're the starlight
Shining brightly from afar.
Through hours of despair, I offer this prayer
To you, my evening star.

I'll always think of the times we shared
When autumn changed the leaves of spring.
But what shall I do? I'm lost without you.
O please, guide me through the din.

MARIA dances with DRACO.

DRACO:
*spoken*
Come, Maria! Dance with me...
Ha-ha-ha...!

She walks up another staircase when he disappears. She looks out over the horizon.

MARIA:
Though we must part, my life goes on
But my heart won't let you go.
I'll recall your eyes, so gentle and kind,
The place my fears can't call home.

She throws flowers over the edge.

MARIA:
Light as a feather, you touched my heart,
Leaving me forever yours.
Our love, come what may, will ne'er age a day.
I'll wait for you, evermore.

CHANCELLOR appears.

CHANCELLOR:
*spoken*
Prince Ralse is looking for a dance partner. Please come inside, and leave the remnants of the past behind. Our kingdom is aligned with that of the East now. We must learn to adopt their ways.

Dance scene. After some time, MESSENGER appears.

MESSENGER:
*spoken*
The survivors from the West attack!

RALSE:
*spoken*
Impossible!

SOLDIERS:
*spoken*
Attack!

As they attack, DRACO appears.

DRACO:
*spoken*
Wait!
*sings*
Maria!

MARIA:
O Draco!
I knew in my heart that you were alive!

RALSE:
Insolent rogue!
Knave of the Western Horde!
You would address my queen to be, Maria?

DRACO:
Ne'er shall you have her hand!
I would die before that day comes!

RALSE:
Then it's a duel!

FFIV Easy Type Version

The war between the West and the East grew more violent as the days measured on. Draco, the greatest soldier of the West, was tasked with fighting insurgents from the East. A shortage of soldiers forced her to be sent alone, with not a comrade-in-arms to aid her. As she traveled, her thoughts were of her love, Maria. Was she safe? Was she thinking of her? Was she waiting for her?

Over many weeks, her travels took her through the damp Watery Pass, passed the isolated town of Kaipo, beyond the mountainous Village of the Mist, and her final destination in the East, the power hungry Baron. It was on the outskirts there that she was confronted and outnumbered by Eastern insurgents. She fought them with Valiance and Honor, as was the Western Way, but it hadn't been enough.

Overwhelmed by numbers, she lost the battle. Believing her to be dead, the Eastern enemy left her to die in the harshness of the desert. As she lay losing her lifeblood to the sand, abandoned by her nation and enemy alike, all she could think of was her love; her sweet beautiful Maria.

"O Maria!" she sang,
"O Maria!
My beloved, it's now clear,
Broken through the pain and the fear,
How much I long
To be with you."

That journey had been the last any on either side had heard of Draco. News of her falling traveled quickly throughout the lands like a wildfire, disenchanting the Western armies who loved her so and aiding the rise of the Eastern armies. When Maria's castle fell into the hands of the East, she was forced into marriage with the Eastern Prince Ralse. Though courteous to her new husband, she could only think of Draco and what had befallen her. Every night, she'd steal herself away to gaze at the stars, hoping to find her beloved looking down upon her from the heavens.

This night was no different from any other as she set foot on the cold cobblestones of this familiar balcony. She shivered from the chilly desert air, as she did every night. She looked to the celestial bodies of the sky, as she did every night, and, through song, prayed for her Draco's return.

"O my hero, so far away,
Will I ever see your smile?
Though love fades away, like night into day,
That pain shall never beguile.

"I'm the darkness, you're the starlight
Shining brightly from afar.
Through hours of despair, I offer this prayer
To you, my evening star.

"I'll always think of the times we shared
When fall changed the leaves of spring.
But what shall I do? I'm lost without you.
O please, guide me through the sting."

Unlike other nights, this night was different. Laughter softly erupted from the shadows, alerting her to a presence; one that was all too familiar. Could it be true? Had her prayers been answered? Was that Draco? Or was her imagination simply running away with itself?

"Come, Maria!" whispered Draco as she made herself seen in the moonlight. "Let us dance under the stars!"

Maria removed the battle worn helmet from her love's head and tossed it aside, allowing a cascade of verdant hair to fall like a shower of ivy. She buried herself into warm and welcoming arms as tightly as she could before following in a quiet dance in time to music that only the nighttime could conjure forth. Eventually, Draco halted their dance to produce a bouquet of flowers from her messenger's bag; long-stem roses.

But as quick as Draco had appeared, she was gone again, faded from existence, leaving Maria wondering if she had even been there at all. The only telling clue left were the roses lying on the cold cobblestones. Crying tears of loneliness, sadness, and despair, she clutched them as close to her heart as she could. Their scent reminded her of better days, days when life had been simple and free, a time before the death of her beloved Draco.

"Though we must part, my life goes on
But my heart won't let you go.
I'll recall your eyes, so gentle and wise,
A shield from fears I call my own."

"Light as a feather, you touched my heart,
Leaving me forever yours.
Our love, come what may, will ne'er age a day.
I'll wait for you, evermore."

In an effort to let go of her past, Maria tossed the roses over the balcony's edge. They, like Draco, faded from her sight, leaving no indication that they had ever been. All that remained were the memories that she'd cherish long as she'd live.

It hadn't been long before the chancellor had found her. He beckoned her from the darkened doorway. "Prince Ralse is looking for a dance partner," he said. "Please come inside, and leave the remnants of the past behind. Our kingdom is aligned with that of the East now. We must learn to adopt their ways."

Maria took one last mournful look to the heavens before reluctantly agreeing. Her imagination had not only run away, but had taken a moment to dance with her as well. She sighed in loneliness and entered the darkened castle. The fates were cruel, Draco truly was never to return, but she'd continue on. There was no choice.

Ultros Battle (Script Version)
Notes: There are two versions of this chapter, one for Ao3 and the other for FFN. The version for FFN is "technically" the preferred version just because the fourth wall breaking allowed me a chance to vent some of my frustrations about that archive and lack of formatting custimization.

TERRA and ULTROS crash onto the stage, landing on RASLSE and DRACO respectively. CELES looks back and forth between the two as a loud hush falls over the theatre. She buries her face into her palm.

CELES:
Oh, bloody hell.

The IMPRESSARIO of the opera runs on stage in a panic.

IMPRESSARIO:
Oh, my! This will never do! With the hero and the villain flattened, who will win the girl? The story's over!

TERRA stands.

TERRA:
I'd like to win the girl!

The crowd collectively gasps.

IMPRESSARIO:
But…you're…you're a woman! A woman can't win the girl! Women can't fight! This is opera! We have standards!

TERRA:
I'm the world's only half-esper! I can fight to protect Celes!

CELES:
*facepalms*
I'm supposed to be Maria, sweetie.

ULTROS raises himself up onto his tentacles. LOCKE joins them on stage at this point.

ULTROS:
Silence, peons! You stand in the presence of octopus royalty!
*grins*
Did ya miss me?

TERRA:
Hey, wait a second! I stabbed you!

ULTROS:
*cackles*
Sorry, sweetheart! I'm the recurring boss! You can't hurt me with your dull-ass swords no matter how sharp they are!

LOCKE:
Say again?

ULTROS:
*raises a balled tentacle*
I'm this story's recurring boss, boy-o! Or the literary recurring villain! Conventions dictate that I…am…invincible! A power I can use to make all the ladies of the world mine!
*cackles*

TERRA:
What the bloody hell is he on about?

LOCKE shrugs.

LOCKE:
Maybe Sabin didn't hit him hard enough last time.

CELES:
I guess we'll just have to hit him harder.

CELES reaches up to grab her sword, which is not there.

CELES:
Ah, bloody hell.

ULTROS snaps a tentacle around CELES.

ULTROS:
*licks his beak*
And we'll start with Boobs McKenzie here!

CELES:
Oi! Put me down, snack food!

TERRA rushes ULTROS.

TERRA:
Put her down, you jerk!

With a swipe of a tentacle, he sends her flying off stage where she lands with the sound of crashing cymbals. The crowd gasps.

CELES:
Terra!

LOCKE readies himself for battle.

LOCKE:
Ah, nuts.

ULTROS:
Someone's missing… Oh, I know!

He spits out a green ink blob at LOCKE. There is a flash of light and he suddenly is a short pudgy green frog/turtle hybrid…with breasts.

LOCKE:
What the hell?!

ULTROS:
Imp! My buddy ol' pal! I'm glad to see you! And you're looking mighty sexy today!

LOCKE:
Wait. What?

LOCKE is sent flying via tentacle.

CELES:
What are you retards doing?!

ULTROS:
Aw, poor Impy!
*to the crowd/readers*
As you can see, I ain't no garden variety octopus! Not only am I royalty, but I'm also an octopus mage as well!

The crowd boos him.

CELES:
You're a god damned looney!

ULTROS:
Be quiet, Boobs!

He latches another tentacle across CELES' mouth. CELES struggles. The crowd boos him once again before gasping.

ULTROS:
We need some music up in this house! You!

He points a tentacle to the orchestra pit.

ULTROS:
Start playing! Something upbeat!

The maestro shrugs and leads the pit into a song. ULTROS points another tentacle off in a random direction.

[!Ao3Version!]
ULTROS:
And you! Yeah, you, you literary disaster! You haven't been using those fancy footnotes the last couple of chapters like you used to! Use one right now to give these readers a taste of what my new battle music is! And the rest of you! Click that footnote![1] Do it! Do it now or I'll squeeze blondie 'til her tits pop!

[!FFN Version!]
ULTROS:
And you! Yeah, you, you literary disaster! You haven't been using those fancy footnotes the last couple of chapters like you used to! Use one right now to give these readers a taste of what my new battle music is! And the rest of you! Click that footnote![1] Do it! Do it no-

He rubs a tentacle on a non-existent chin.

ULTROS:
Wait a second. This is fanfiction dot net. Clickable footnotes can't be made. You have to scroll…all the way…to the end of a…[!insert rounded amount of words] chapter!
*cackles*
What a time waster! What an immersion breaker! No wonder people hate footnotes!
*cackles, wipes a tear away*
I truly am a villain to make you do that! Well, I guess I can hold off on makin' blondie's tits pop 'til you scroll back.
[!End Differing Versions!]

The crowd boos and jeers.

ULTROS:
Don't boo me, you jerks! All of you, especially you people reading this! I'm the literary equivalent to a recurring boss! I'm supposed to do things like this! You love me! You worship me!

TERRA:
What the bloody hell are you talking about?!

ULTROS:
I'm the new Gilgamesh! That's what I'm talkin'-

ULTROS finally notices TERRA standing just on stage looking none too impressed. He screeches in fear and sends ink flying in all directions. The crowd groans and jeers. TERRA takes off running to attack ULTROS. ULTROS meets her halfway with his tentacles. The two trade blows several times, with ULTROS' tentacles acting as blades. He manages to catch TERRA off guard, slicing her in the abdomen. She spins back in a retreat, leaving a trail of blood. The crowd gasps.

ULTROS:
Oh, yeah, Minty! You like that? That's just a taste of my new recurring boss powers!
*cackles*

A white-blue light surrounds TERRA as she clasps her hands together, forcing her katana to hover in a mid-air defensive position. Her wounds heal and katana are in hand once again. The crowd cheers.

ULTROS:
Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You have an advanced healing factor?!

TERRA:
What are you on about? Just let Celes go!

ULTROS:
Never!

ULTROS whip snaps a tentacle around TERRA's mouth and cackles as he waves her in the air.

ULTROS:
You lovely ladies will be the start of the Ultros harem!
*licks his beak*
Just think, all of us naked in a sea of tentacle, undulating in pleasure.

ULTROS brings TERRA up close to his face.

ULTROS:
And then I can lick that pleasure straight from your-

SABIN:
Look out below!

ULTROS' expression drops.

ULTROS:
I did not see this coming.

The weight from above lands on his head, crushes him, and bounces off. He wobbles around a bit before falling backward. TERRA and CELES are released.

ULTROS:
*mumbles*
Hoisted by my own petard…

SABIN drops down from above.

SABIN:
I guess this means I win the girl.

TERRA:
Uh, no.

CELES:
Over my dead body.

A dart imbeds itself in CELES' neck. Her eyes roll into her head and she falls to the floor. The crowd gasps as TERRA, SABIN, and now FEM-IMP LOCKE look on. SABIN suddenly looks to TERRA.

SABIN:
She said it. Sorry, Terra.

TERRA glares.

SETZER:
Hold it right there!

SETZER suddenly drops down from the ceiling on a rope and grabs CELES. The crowd gasps.

SETZER:
Greetings! And my compliments on a most impressive performance, but I'm afraid that I'm a man of my word. This lovely lady is coming with me!

As quick as he had arrived, they were gone. The crowd cheers. TERRA, SABIN, and FEM-IMP LOCKE look up at the ceiling. The IMPRESSARIO runs out from behind the backstage curtains.

IMPRESSARIO:
Such unforeseen twists! Such wild turns! Just as we think that Maria would be won from the tentacles of the octopus, she's dragged off by the Wandering Gambler instead! What fate lies in store for her now? Be sure to come back for Part Two in a few weeks!

The crowd cheers again.

SABIN:
No, thanks. Operas're boring.

TERRA and LOCKE nod in agreement.

[1] Final Fantasy V's "The Battle with Gilgamesh" aka "Battle at the Big Bridge."

FFVIII's Squall Makes an Appearance with FFIX's Zidane

Celes had been lucky that she had been standing where she had been. Otherwise, she would have been crushed by Terra and that damned octopus, Ultros, like unfortunate actors Zidane and Squall. Where the bloody hell had those two come from? She buried her face in her palm and shook her head. "Bloody hell," she muttered. The silence in the theatre was so deafening that she was certain that people in the back had heard her slip up. She hovered over the unconscious Terra to check for injuries.

It wasn't long before the Impresario running this operatic production appeared from backstage to assess the situation. "Oh my!" he squealed in a panic. "This will never do! With the hero and the villain flattened, who will win the girl? The story's over!"

Celes couldn't believe the audacity of this man. There were injured people here and all he could think about was his damned opera. God damn drama queen. But to her surprise, Terra suddenly sat up and rubbed her head. "I'd like to win the girl!" she squeaked. Celes could only smile and soothe emerald hair. Of course she would.

The crowd, as a collective unit, gasped, almost as if they had never heard of a same-sex relationship. This was why Celes hated the sticks. "But…you're…you're a woman!" the Impresario stuttered out. "A woman can't win the girl! Women can't fight! This is opera! We have standards!" And there was her validation of why she hated the sticks.

Terra suddenly stood, a katana in hand and pointed to the sky. "I'm the world's only half-esper!" she cried in an attempt at dramatic acting. "I can fight to protect Celes!" Despite the stiltedness and horrendous tone, the crowd still cheered.

Celes just buried her face into her palm and muttered, "I'm supposed to be Maria, sweetie."

"Silence peons!"

"Very polite for a scoundrel."

Terra had to fight the urge to draw her katana. A silver haired man in a leather duster had appeared out of nowhere behind the now inert Celes and held her in one arm. His other was wrapped in a rope dangling from the ceiling. "Greetings!" he said with an incredibly deep voice. "My compliments on a most impressive performance, all of you!"

"Let her go!" Terra threatened.

"Ah, but I'm afraid that I'm a man of my word. This lovely lady is coming with me!" He tugged on the rope and, with a wink, disappeared above the catwalks.

Terra fought to keep her fire at bay. While Celes was supposed to have been "kidnapped" by the Wandering Gambler, that didn't help the fact that she wanted to run after her. Also, Celes being drugged hadn't even been considered. Who knew how long the drug would affect her!

"Well, he seemed nice," Sabin said. "Very polite for a scoundrel."

"This isn't right," Terra said as wrung her hands and folded imaginary laundry with worry. "I need to go after her."

A tug on her dress, brought her attention down to the Imp that Locke had been transformed into.

The Ao3 Difference (Final Version)
Notes: As mentioned earlier, FFN got a different version of chapter eighteen and (for once) is concidered as the difinitive version. Only one paragraph is different, but it's that slight difference that drastically changes the level of Ultros' interactivity with the reader. Footnotes (for readers) are a pain in the ass. Provided here is the Ao3 version of this scene minus the awesomely clickable footnote.

It was at this point that the orchestra began to play and filled the opera hall with lively upbeat music.[1] Disaster of literature? Who or what the hell was that? Footnotes? Chapters? Readers? Was this lunatic implying that life as they knew it was a book of some kind? A story? Ultros was clearly off his rocker and quite sick in the mind. Celes tried kicking him in the head to rectify that but found herself too far away to connect. Fucking tentacles!

"And the rest of you! Click the above footnote!" Ultros demanded. "Do it! Do it now, or I'll squeeze blondie 'til her tits pop!"

As the crowd booed and jeered at her octopus captor, Celes once again tried to break free of his grip and came up empty. She had no idea who the hell he was talking to, or what he was even talking about, but the idea of being squeezed so hard that her insides would burst out through her nipples was a very real fear at this juncture. She quite liked her insides where they were just fine!