"Hell yeah I mind." Emily Stanley shook her head. "That's what you should have said, Genevieve. Instead of simply letting that…that woman, swoop in and take your man."

Gen played with her coffee mug, turning it in a slow circle while she listened to Emily lecture. "I couldn't do that."

"Why not?" Emily jabbed her hands against her hips. "You love Johnny, don't you?"

Gen cocked her head to the side and wearily eyed Emily. "You know I do."

"Then why not lay claim to him?"

Gen sighed. "He's not some pet up for adoption. Besides, I can't do that to him."

"Do what to him?" Emily shot back. "For God's sake, Gen, it's obvious to any woman with half a brain that you two are meant for each other."

Gen shook her head. "I think you're reading more into this than what's there."

Emily took the seat across from her. "And I think you're in denial."

"It's not denial, Em. Yes, I love him, but I also know that I'm not in any condition to take on a serious relationship right now. I am a mental mess with a ton of issues to work through. It wouldn't be fair of me to saddle Johnny with my problems. He deserves to have a life."

Emily reached across the table and took Gen's hand in hers. "You're making excuses in order to distance yourself, Gen. Stop it before you end up losing everything."

"I'm not distancing myself." Yes you are! "I-I'm just being realistic. We're like oil and water. Not really all that compatible."

Emily frowned. "I know he can be a bit immature at times, but don't underestimate the boy, honey. He loves you and I'm pretty sure he'd go through hell and back for you."

"What if I don't want him too?" Gen pulled away and picked up her cup. "It's bad enough that I'm going through hell. Why in the world would I want to drag the man I love through it with me?"

"Because I doubt that there is any place he'd rather be than by your side. The question you have to ask yourself is what are your real reasons for not telling Christie about you and Johnny."

Gen felt her brow knit and she cocked her head to the side and stared at Emily. "What do you mean?"

"I've seen you with Johnny, Genevieve. I see the way you look at each other and honestly I can't remember the last time I'd seen two people more compatible or more in love. Everything you said to me is nothing more than some lame excuse you using to hide an underlying reason for not telling Christie the truth." Emily had no sooner finished her sentence when the phone rang.

"Think about what I said." She pointed a finger at Gen as she got up to answer the call. "Hello. Oh, hi Johnny. Yeah, she's right here." Emily placed her hand over the receiver and turned back to Gen. "You need to be honest with yourself and with him."

Gen nodded as she walked over to take the phone from Emily. "Hey Johnny."

"Hey, beautiful. I'm sorry if I'm calling at a bad time."

"No." Gen shook her head despite knowing he couldn't see her. "It's fine. What's up?"

"Well I'm calling for two reasons."

"Which are?"

"First, I wanted to let you know that they released me and I'm home now. So if you need to get ahold of me call my place, not the hospital."

"Okay, what's the other reason?"

"Well…" There was a long pause and Gen had a feeling she knew what he was about to say.

"Christie came by the hospital this morning."

Yep, this was going exactly where Gen wished it wouldn't. "She said she might."

"Well, she did and Gen, she asked me out."

The shock in his voice made her smile. Like a women couldn't ask a man out? "Really? And what did you say?"

Again her question met silence and Gen suddenly regretted her decision. "Johnny, what did you say?"

"I wasn't sure at first," he replied, his voice filled with concern. "But she was so insistent, and then she said that you told her to ask me. Did you?"

"She asked me if we were a couple. I didn't want her writing something scandalous, so I told her no. That's when she asked me if I wouldn't mind if she asked you out. What was I supposed to say?"

"Yeah, I understand. Which is also why I said yes."

Gen would have sworn she could hear her heart slowly cracking. Why? Why would he say yes when he could have easily said no? "Y-you…said…yes?"

"Baby, you told her to ask me."

"No, I didn't," Gen argued as she fought to hold back her tears. How could he toss her aside so quickly? "She asked me if I would mind if she asked you out. What was I supposed to say, Johnny? If I said yes, she'd want to know why and I-I couldn't risk her becoming suspicious. If she knew the truth, she could easily ruin my chances of coming back to the station."

Silence met her reply and her heart began to beat a little faster. "Johnny?"

"I'm still here," he replied, his tone sour.

"You understand, don't you?"

"All too well," he said.

His words hit her like a slap to the face. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Johnny replied. "Look, I only said yes because I thought that's what you wanted me to do. If I break the date now, then she'll be suspicious."

"So where does this leave us?" Gen asked, then immediately regretted letting the words out of their thought bubble. Dear God, she didn't really want to know the answer.

"For the moment?"

"At all," Gen replied. Hell, she was in too deep not to know.

"You really want to know the truth?"

No! "Yes"

A heavy sigh filtered through the phone. "I love you, Genevieve. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life and I only said yes for your benefit, but I have to be honest. I'm hurt that you're putting a career that's already in question head of our relationship."

The words felt like tiny little arrows piercing her heart, the truth they carried serving as flames burning a giant hole inside her. "I-I'm sorry, Johnny. I didn't…what I mean is I wanted…" Knowing nothing she could say could fix the mess her lies created, she let her sentence trail off. "I just assumed you'd turn her down and that would be end of the issue. I didn't think about the deeper implications of my actions. I took you for granted and I'm sorry."

"I am too, baby. Like I said, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, but I won't take second place in your life."

"What does that mean?" she asked fearing she knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

"It means you need to get you head on straight and figure out what you really want, Genevieve. In the meantime let me deal with Christie."

Later that afternoon Gen stood in her own bedroom and slowly unpacked her bag. Now that the sling was coming off she could drive again. Which meant it was time for her to stop being a burden to the Stanleys. She removed Bosco from her bag and stared at him for a moment before she pushed her bag to the side and laid down across her bed. Tears welled as she replayed her conversation with Johnny yet again. She'd hurt him and now the very real possibility existed that she might lose him, all because she was so messed up in the head.

The idea of not going back to the station to work frightened her, but the idea of losing Johnny left her feeling cold and empty inside. While she wasn't happy about the idea of choosing a different career path, she could see herself doing something else. She might not be as happy or feel as fulfilled, but options existed for her. However, without Johnny in her life nothing she did would bring her happiness.

It was time she stopped running from her fears and face the pain head on. She pushed up to a sitting position, set Bosco aside and began riffling through her bag. There was still a chance she could save her relationship with Johnny, but she needed help. Turning to her father was no longer an option. He wasn't around to coddle her fragile feelings or trying and make things better for her. She needed to stop being a baby and grow up.

With shaky fingers, she held the business card in her hands and stared at the number. She'd look death in the face twice in her career. She'd stared pure evil directly in the eyes and prevailed. She'd suffered through physical pain on more than one occasion and none of it seemed even half as frightening as what she was about to do.

Slowly, she reached for her bedside phone and dialed the number. This was the only way she could possibly save her relationship with Johnny and not amount of fear was going to stop her this time.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Kirkland's office."

Two days later Gen eased down in the chair across from an older woman, dressed in pretty pink blouse and black slacks and noted how she felt more than a little under dressed in her jeans and button up blue top.

"Genevieve, I'm glad to see you finally decided to keep this appointment."

Gen could feel the heat lift into her face and she battled against the desire to run and hide. "Well, I thought it was time."

"I understand that you're ready to start your physical therapy."

Gen nodded. "Yes ma'am."

"And Doctor's Bracket and Foster made mandatory therapy a condition of your work release, should you be able to rehabilitate your shoulder to fire department standards."

Gen folded her shaky hands in her lap and nodded.

"I do think it's only fair to tell you now, that if you sole reason for being here is simply to fulfill that requirement then you may be disappointed when I don't sign off on your release."

Dr. Kirkland's warning should have sent fear racing through Gen. Instead, she realize it had no meaning at all. "I don't care about that," Gen replied.

Dr. Kirkland arched a delicate brow. "Then what did finally get you through my office door?"

For a moment, Gen thought about Johnny and the fear his words still brought to her heart. Nothing else mattered. She needed to make herself better for him. She took a deep breath. "My mind is a jumbled mess and because of it I risk losing the man I love. I need your help, Dr. Kirland. I need you to help make me well so I can save my relationship. I don't care how long it takes or how it impacts my ability to return to work. Just help me get better."

A slow grin slid across the doctor's face. "I felt the honesty and sincerity in those words, Gen. Obviously, you weren't ready before, but you are now." She leaned forward and took Gen's hands in hers. "You need to understand, this isn't going to be an easy process, but if you're willing to work for it, I will do everything I can to help make you better. Deal?"

Gen studied their joined hands, thought about Johnny and nodded as she lifted her gaze to meet the doctor's. "Deal."