Hate or Fear
Original story and idea by Wilhelmina Vandom
As promised here's the next chapter and it is longer than the previous one being just over 5,000 words before notes of any kind.
I do want to thank XV-Dragon and everyone on his forum as Well as Bonar and everyone else who has helped me by giving some really good advice on writing. I also want to thank everyone for all of your great reviews, I try to reply to all of them, but sadly I sometimes miss someone. If I do please don't take offense at it as I do love your reviews and take to heart and advice offered. And some advice by Sniper Fodder was maybe have someone pre-read my stories before posting to help catch spelling, grammar and punctuation mistakes for my stories. So is anyone interested in doing that?
Will had to admit that talking to Elyon about her problems really seemed to help. The princess didn't have any harsh words to say, nor did she judge Will in any way. What Elyon did do was pull Will into a comforting embrace when the tears started, calming Will down. The images of Susan holding her like that many a times flitted through Will's head, but she pushed them out soaking of the affection and comfort the blond girl offered.
Looking up at the underside of the canopy Will wondered what she should do now, she laid awake all night thinking about Elyon and their conversation including Phobos. From what the princess said, the girl knew her brother wasn't the perfect brother that the girl's believed Elyon thought him to be. What she said about Candracar really bothered Will and the more she thought about it the more it made sense.
What did Will really know about the veil or this Candracar place? All she knew was what Yan Lin told them and in truth it wasn't all that much. If there was a violet colored barrier over the world though, it could actually be blocking the ultra violet rays that the crops and plants needed to thrive. Could Candracar really be responsible for a lot of Meridian's problems?
"Good morning young lady." Aeryn said as she threw the door open and walked in. It was something Will had grown used to, even if it still bothered her a little. Sitting up Will slipped into the beautiful pink robe made out of silk covering up her sheer nightgown. She would never have worn something like that on Earth, but it was something Aeryn insisted on as the old woman believed it was suited for a proper lady. In Aeryn's opinion the clothes Will wanted to sleep in was suited more to boys than a proper lady and the redhead had learned quickly that it was useless arguing with the older woman.
"Good mooring, Aeryn." Will greeted the woman as she walked to the glass doors leading to the balcony and stepped out to get a bit of fresh air, the older woman following behind her.
"So, what's bothering you child?" Aeryn asked as she also looked out across the landscape as a purple hued light spread across the land from the rising sun.
"Are you sure you aren't psychic?" Will asked arching an eyebrow.
"Of course not dear, what ever gave you that idea?" Aeryn asked though the mirthful smile made the redhead wonder.
Will debated talking to the woman about her thoughts since she was loyal to Phobos. Yet again the woman had always seemed candid and honest about the prince, more than once cracking a joke at the man's expense. Taking a deep sigh Will decided to go ahead and talk since she might as well start somewhere.
"Tell me Aeryn, what do you honestly think of Phobos?" Will asked looking at the woman, but had to turn away to look out over the landscape as the twinkle in the woman's eye made the redhead want to bang her head against something for asking this particular woman anything.
"So you have your eye set on the young prince, hmmm?" Aeryn said confirming Will's suspicion on the old woman's train of thought making the redhead blush a little.
"It's nothing like that!" Will snapped out, a little harsher sounding than she meant. "I'm sorry, but I mean is what do you think of him? Is he evil? Is he good? What is his deal?"
"That...well, it is complicated my dear." Aeryn sighed as she leaned against the balcony wall. Her expression and voice took on an older tone, a tired one as the woman sighed again. "The young prince...he is more a product of his environment than an evil man."
"What do you mean?" Will asked as she turned around and leaned back against the railing so she could look at the older woman as they talked.
"A lot of people called for his death when he was, but a child and even his parents tried to kill him." Aeryn explained sadly, "This isn't as peaceful of a world as your Earth is. Sure there is fighting on your world, but where you come from men and women are treated equally are they not?"
"Yeah, so?" Will asked remembering Elyon said something about Meridian being a matriarchal society.
"So to be first born and male is something no royal family wants as they would become the Heart of Meridian and that was a sin in the female royals eyes. No man is supposed to know that fact, and no one outside of the royal family is supposed to know either." Aeryn explained, "It is how the queens of the past kept power and kept the men under their foot."
"So what happens if a male is born first?" Will asked, a part of her fearing the answer.
"Sometimes the husband is put to death for providing bad genes and a new king is found. Either way they try and have another child and if it is a girl the Heart is somehow transferred to the baby girl and the son is executed and wiped from existence. As far as anyone is concerned the prince wouldn't have existed and until his use as Keeper of the Heart is at an end he is kept from learning magic and treated as a slave." Aeryn said, "Only women are allowed to know magic, and only the royals were supposed able to wield it except for the very few members of the circle of mages that served the Queen."
"How do they transfer the Heart from one person to another, I thought that had to be done willingly. I doubt anyone would give up power like that easily." Will asked, the answers she was getting only provided even more questions.
"That right there is the question, young lady. I don't know, the only person left alive who could possibly tell you is an old woman in the village." Aeryn said, "She is the last member of the Circle who once served the Queen."
"Well, there goes talking to her." Will sighed, "You still didn't exactly answer my question though."
"It is a difficult question to answer as it is up to the person to decide as he can be seen as both." Aeryn said. "Yes he lashes out at the rebels and the people who has mistreated him in any way, and many would say they deserve it. And yet, he is kind and gentle with children and those people who doesn't wish him harm in any way. There isn't much he can do with the veil up as the crops need proper sunlight and he is blamed for that. He does his best though helping those who really need it and he makes sure that the feral creatures that are dangerous are kept at bay away from populated areas as best as he can."
"I don't see how he can be considered evil then." Will said shaking her head, something wasn't adding up. Didn't Phobos steal magic from the land? From what she heard from Caleb that was destroying the crops, but he never mentioned anything about the veil.
"Child, your rebel friend only knows what he has been fed by the rebel extremist. Yes it is true that he is stealing mana from the land, but not enough to hurt anything. In fact the mana he absorbs isn't even directly linked to any crops or the farm land itself. What he absorbs is the latent energy from ley lines and from the air round us. If there were more mages then it may be a problem with them since they wouldn't have the energy to weave their magic."
"What about the woman you said was in the village?" Will asked, wondering why it wouldn't be a problem with her if the woman was a mage.
"Because she loved the prince like a son and didn't agree with the way he was treated. She was the head of the Circle until the Queen blinded her transgressions and put her apprentice in charge." Aeryn said sadly while rubbing her eyes. After a few moments of silence the woman took off a small, simple pendant and handed it to Will. "If you want more answers take this to the village and seek out the blind woman named Zhaan. Let her have this pendant and she will know I sent you and will answer all of your questions."
"What if the rebels see me, they will know I'm here." Will sighed, she wasn't ready to face them yet. She didn't want to face anyone from her past ever again, but if she did she wanted to know the whole truth first. If things were as grey as they seemed then it would be a cold day in hell before she lifted a finger against Phobos again. She was beginning to wonder if he was the villain the rebels and Yan Lin made him out to be.
"I will get you some commoner clothes and a large cloak to hide your face." Aeryn said as she started to go back inside. "And child, I sincerely hope you find the answers you are looking for."
Getting out of the castle was easy, but finding this Zhaan woman was much more difficult. Will was wearing a somewhat dirty and worn servant's dress in browns and withes, worn boots and a large dusty black cloak with the hood pulled over her head hiding her face in shadow. Most villagers believed her to actually be a rebel and was happy to deal with her while a few refused to speak to her because of that same belief. It seemed that even though there weren't that many, Phobos still had loyal people in the village. When asking what the people thought about the prince she received plenty of curious looks and plenty of people to talk down about him.
"He's a monster and deserves to die."
"I hope the guardians just do away with him, he doesn't deserve to rule."
"He's killing all of our crops, and when he doesn't kill he takes for his self."
That last statement bothered Will at first, it was something that she saw guards bringing carts of grains, fruits and other food stuffs. If he wasn't behind the crops dieing, was he behind stealing so much that the villagers were going hungry? Most villagers didn't really look like they were starving, though looks could be deceiving. Especially since she didn't really know the physiology of most Meridians making it hard to tell if they were malnourished or not.
Of course there were those Phobos supporters who had their own comments, some not very flattering, but still showed the prince in a nicer light. Those same people had some choice comments about the rebels though. Most of the comments about the rebels sounded much like what the rebel supporters said about Phobos.
"Phobos is actually a good man, but misunderstood."
"He saved my daughter from lurdics."
"The rebels cause more trouble that they're worth and they steal a lot of our crops to boot!"
Again, the question about crops coming up. If the rebels were so worried about crops then why would they be taking even more, taxing the village supplies even more? The question Will was asking herself if the rebels really were stealing crops or not. It would explain how a lot of them managed to eat since many were wanted criminals.
The trip to the village was beginning to become an even bigger headache than Will thought was possible. There were so many differing opinions that Will had to wonder if maybe there was a civil war brewing among the people as well as against Phobos. It was a scary thought as things already seemed bad enough.
"Miss, will you please help me? My granny is feeling sick, will you please come check on her?" A small child of around five or six asked as she tugged on Will's cloak.
"I'm not sure what I could do though, shouldn't you get like a doctor...or healer?" Will asked as she kneeled down to look into the child's eyes. Something was off, this girl was lying about her granny being sick. There wasn't any worry or fear in the girl's bright green eyes. Why was she lying though? Was it a trap?
"Please Miss, please come." The girl begged, her eyes growing wide as she implemented a cute puppy dog pout. Damn the pout, that so wasn't fair.
"Okay, okay." Will sighed, if it was a trap at least she had the Heart. She got up and followed the girl through the village and into a more run down section until getting to a small shack that had surely seen better days.
"Please go on in." The girl said as her features started to fade, her outline turning white before a gentle breeze blew the image away like a mist.
"Okay, that was...weird." Will whispered to herself as she began to hesitantly back up from the door.
"If I wanted to hurt you child, you wouldn't be alive." A voice called from inside stopping Will in her tracks. It sounded almost like the young girl's voice, but older somehow. "Don't stand out there all day and keep and old woman waiting."
Swallowing nervously, Will pushed the door open and walked into a dimly lit room with a straw mattress on a pallet in the corner, a small table with two chairs taking up the center of the room, a fireplace where most of the light was coming from, and a couple shelves with books, some kind of herbs and plants, and some pottery and other cookware. Sitting at the table was an old woman with long, stringy gray hair and wearing a ratty dark brown robe. Around her eyes was a strip of cloth wrapped in several layers before being tied into a knot in the back.
"I hear you were looking for me guardian, but if you think I will betray my prince then you have another thought coming." The woman said, her voice serious though she showed no hints of danger. "The only reason I led you here is because I am curious as to why you are asking these questions and not outright attacking."
"Are you Zhaan?" Will asked a little nervously as she stared at this woman who was leaning on the table.
"And if I am child?" Zhaan asked, cocking her head slightly as if she was looking straight into Will's eyes which unnerved the redhead a bit.
"Aeryn, a woman from the castle said to give you this and you would answer my questions." Will said as she took the pendant and walked to the table. She took the old woman's hand and placed the small pendant in it before closing it around the little trinket.
"So you know my sister?" Zhaan asked while giving a raspy laugh and signaling for Will to take a seat, "Okay child, I'll bite. What do you have to ask?"
"I want the truth about Phobos." Will stated simply.
"Are you sure you can handle the truth?" Zhaan asked.
"Yes, I want to know everything. I want to know about the crops, about why Phobos and the rebels are taking them. I want to know about his past, about the Heart of Meridian, about his parents, and about the truth about him. Is he evil like the rebels say or is he good?" Will said, trying to decide exactly where to start.
"You are growing to care4 for the prince, aren't you?" Zhaan asked with a mirthful tone as Will sputtered in denial. "It is okay to child, he could use a good influence in his life. We should get to your questions though so we can get them over with, I'm an old woman I'm afraid and only have the energy to sit here and chat with you for a short time.
To start with, I suppose it would be best to explain about the crops. There is no theft going on where it concerns the prince. The crops that is taken is for taxes, taxes that are much lower than when his mother ruled. The soldiers need to eat, we need soldiers to fight and scare of the beasts of the wilds, so therefore we need to feed the soldiers so they can do their duty to the people.
Now, as far as the rebels are concerned, yes I do believe they are stealing the crops. No, let me finish, the rebels come here saying they need food to keep their fighters healthy and in top condition. While many villagers are willing to give it to them, we didn't ask for them to fight for something we ourselves don't believe in."
Will couldn't believe what she was hearing, but it was making perfect sense. On earth people paid taxes to fix the roads, to run the schools, and pay civil servants such as the police and fire department. Here on Meridian, things may works somewhat different, but surely they would still need to pay taxes to keep things running. The rebels was another matter all together, was they really necessary? Or were they just there because a bunch of assholes got a burr up their ass and force fed the younger generation lies to keep the rebellion going?
"As to if I believe that Phobos is good or evil, would an evil man take time out to visit a lonely old woman and help keep her home fixed up when he doesn't even really know how? Would he take that woman's younger sister into the castle and give her a comfortable position to work peacefully and try to get the old woman to move there to?" Zhaan continued. "No child, I do not believe him to be evil. I believe he has done his best to make a bad situation better with what little resources he has."
"Okay, so he isn't totally evil, but what about his parents? What happened there?" Will asked, her mind debating wither this was all true or not. What did she know about the prince before coming here? Nothing, just heresy about how evil he was, but now that she was getting to know him she just wasn't sure anymore.
"Child, I can sense that you are still very confused and only grow to be more so. Maybe it would be best if you just experienced the truth for yourself." The old woman said as she took the pendant that Aeryn gave her and blew on it, a little bit of pink dust seeming to puff out in a small cloud of dust around the trinket before disappearing. She handed it back to Will before continuing, "Take this child and place it under your pillow before you go to sleep. You will see everything that you want to know, you will see the past as if you were there and you will find all of the answers that you seek."
"But what about..." Will started to ask before Zhaan cut her off.
"I'm sorry child, but this old woman needs to rest. Go home child and if you still have questions come the morrow then come back and we will discuss everything that you learned." Zhaan yawned, stretching a little.
"Okay, have a pleasant rest Zhaan." Will sighed as she climbed up from the table and started to head to the door.
"One more thing child," Zhaan cackled just as Will grabbed the door handle, "Don't be afraid of your growing feelings, the prince is hot I admit. If I didn't think of him as a son and I was about fifty years younger I would court him myself."
"Goodnight granny." Will said while shaking her head in disbelief at the old woman. She walked out of the small shed and started back to the castle.
The trip back to the castle was short, but it left even more aggravating questions than she started out with. She was starting to have doubts about the whole rebellion as well as none of her real questions about Phobos really being answered. It was frustrating to no end, but she was actually happy to be back at the castle as the sun was setting and dinner was probably just being served.
"Welcome home young lady, did you find the answers you seeked?" Aeryn asked as she met up with Will as soon as the redhead entered the castle. The two was walking towards Will's room where she planned to change and head down for dinner before her stomach started growling again. She shouldn't have skipped lunch, but she wanted her answers.
"Not really, I found Zhaan, but she told me it was better to experience the truth for myself." Will sighed, fingering the pendant that she pulled out of her pocket before trying to hand it to Aeryn.
"Give it to me in the morning after you see what you need to." Aeryn said with a smile while refusing to take the pendant. "And by the way we have already eaten dinner, though the prince was worried about you. I told him you just needed to get some fresh air."
"Thank you." Will sighed, she was thankful for the older woman doing that for her, but she was a little put down that dinner was already served.
"Relax child, I'll bring you some up in a few minutes." Aeryn said turning down a separate hall leaving Will to continue on her own. She slowed as she drew near the stairs deciding she wanted to stop by the throne room and talk to Phobos a little before going up. When she neared the throne room she overheard Cedric and Phobos's voices talking. At first Will was going to knock anyways, but stopped to listen to what they were talking about.
"Send out some men first thing in the morning to get rid of them." Phobos's voice said, "For tonight just double the watch."
"Of course my lord." Cedric agreed, "If I may ask though, how are your plans for getting the Heart coming along?"
Hearing that question crushed Will, she was actually starting to believe everything. She actually believed that Phobos was a good man and cared for others. She couldn't believe she was starting to feel for him as he just crushed the hopes of this being a place she could make a real home out of.
"Not as well as I hoped." Phobos sighed, though his voice wasn't annoyed or angry over not getting the Heart. Will didn't hear the tone of his voice, only the words as he continued in a hesitant voice. "I must get that Heart if everything is to work out."
"If you want the Heart so bad then take it!" Will sobbed as she kicked open the doors and stomped in. The two men stood staring at her in shock as Will tore the Heart away from her and threw it at Phobos. Before either could stop her Will spun and fled from the room. She didn't head toward her room, she ran from the castle out into the night.
"That...was unexpected." Cedric said, unable to believe that Phobos had finally gained the Heart of Candracar. Just what did it cost Phobos to gain the powerful talisman though?
"What have I done?" Phobos whispered softly as he slumped in his thrown, clutching the Heart of Candracar tightly in his hand.
"Sir, what about the feral lurdens?" Cedric asked making Phobos worry about the redhead. Feral lurdens were far from the lurdens who worked in the castle, they were creatures that some how crossbred with some of the more dangerous creatures on Meridian and had no more than savage animals. They were pack animals with long, razor sharp claws and ferocious looking fangs and only had two things on their mind, killing to eat or mating. It would be a cold day in hell before he let either happen to his redhead!
"I'll be back." Phobos growled angrily as he rose from his throne and stormed down the steps past Cedric. "Damn girl causing me trouble."
Will ran for about ten minutes actually making it a good distance from the castle. She wished she hadn't though when creatures that somewhat resembled lurdens dropped from the trees surrounding her. Without the Heart Will was helpless and she was cursing her decision to give the Heart to that lying bastard.
Backing away from one of them Will kicked a large branch as the group started coming closer, a wild and hungry look in their eyes. Picking up the stick Will swung it at one of the creatures knocking it away before another knocked her to the ground, pinning her down as it's fang lined maw grew closer and closer to her face.
"Get the hell away from her!" A voice growled out dangerously as the thing was yanked from her and sent flying through the air away from Will as the creatures circled around her and her savior. Taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves Will looked up to see Phobos standing protectively over her. It didn't make sense, she gave him what he wanted so why was he saving her? "If even one of you lay a filthy claw on her I swear I will kill all of you."
"Why did you save me?" Will asked, tearing up a little. She didn't understand, none of it made sense.
"Because I promised I wouldn't let anything hurt you and I intend to keep that promise." Phobos growled, throwing a ball of energy at one of the creatures as it jumped at him. Two more jumped at him while he was distracted, but he managed to wave his hand at them while releasing energy that sent them flying as well.
"Phobos!" Will cried out as one of the creatures did manage to land an attack, it's claws raking across his back and shoulder making him cry out in pain.
"Bastards!" Phobos growled out as he threw his hand into the air. A few moments later Will's hair started to stand on end making her worry. Suddenly bolts of lightning crashed down from the sky striking each of the creatures killing them. He turned to Will, his face scrunched up in pain. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, thank you." Will said, her voice shaky as she had never come that close to being killed. It scared her more than anything that has happened and yet she was saved by the one she didn't think would give a damn about her.
"Good." Phobos said before collapsing on the ground. Thankfully Cedric and a few guards were just arriving in time to help get him back to the castle.
She didn't know what to do for him as she followed them back to the castle, going directly to the Prince's room where they laid him on his stomach and Cedric ripped the robes clean off his upper body.
"Not as bad as I thought." Cedric said as Will sat on the edge of the bed just as the prince was waking up.
"I'm glad your safe, even if you are a brat." Phobos said, his voice a little tense from the pain. Will could hear actually relief in the mans voice, he seemed genuinely thankful that she wasn't hurt.
"Here, just rub this into the wounds, they aren't bad." Cedric said as he handed a bottle of some kind of salve to Will. "The only reason he collapsed is from using too much power. I'll leave you two alone for now, but if you need anything just call."
"Thank you Cedric." Will sighed as she looked at the small container holding the foul smelling stuff. Dipping her hand in it Will dipped a generous amount onto Phobos's back and began rubbing it in. Cedric was right, the injuries were barely scratches, but there were places that actually broke the skin and as soon as the salve made contact the man hissed out in pain. "Don't be such a baby."
"I saved your ass, you should show me more respect." Phobos growled out as Will continued rubbing the cream in as Phobos rested his head on his crossed arms.
"Why show respect to someone who lied to me?" Will asked, a little hurt seeping into her voice as she unconsciously rubbed harder making Phobos hiss a little more.
"I never actively seeked out the Heart and I never let harm come to you, so did I lie?" Phobos asked making Will think about it. She wasn't sure if he ever outright lied and despite her wanting to deny it, the man saved her.
"Thank you for saving me." Will sighed softly as she finished applying the salve. "DO you have any bandages in here?"
"No, you leave this air over night and by morning it will be mostly healed." Phobos explained. "And...you are welcome. You shouldn't have run away like that."
"Well, you shouldn't have said something like that." Will countered, I heard what you said about gaining the Heart."
"First off, whoever said it was that Heart I was trying to get. Second, you shouldn't have been eavesdropping." Phobos countered.
"Yeah, well, you shouldn't have..." Will said, searching for a valid comeback, but couldn't. "Fine, you have a point."
"I can't believe it, you actually conceded?" Phobos asked mirthfully.
"Yeah, well don't get used to it buster." Will grumbled as she rose from her perch next to the prince and continued in a sickly sweet tone. "You need to rest and I'm tired from all the excitement, so good night my sweet prince."
After eating some fruit Aeryn brought her and getting changed into her night gown Will retired to her bed for the night. She didn't have the Heart so it was understandable that she was nervous. Maybe she could get the prince to give it back in the morning, but for now she was looking at the pendent she was given. Taking a deep breath Will slid it under her pillow, sighing out, "Here goes nothing."