Faith

We? Us? Again she talks like there is a "we." I know we can never be friends or even anything other than enemies. They'll probably ship me off to some council prison as soon as we're out of here. That's if I'm lucky. The mayor is dead. She didn't say out loud what Willow said, but I'm sure he is. Maybe he would have protected me, but now I have no one. The council might just decide it's time for a new slayer.

"Are they going to be able to get you out of here?" Faith asks after a few moments of silence.

"They don't know where we are yet, but they're trying."

Faith grunts and returns to her work on the knife.

"Seems like you can stop doing that now, it wasn't working anyway."

"Got nothing else to do." Faith shrugs and continues to poke pointlessly at the wall.

"You could try talking to me."

"And what would be the point of that? What do we have to talk about?" Faith turns to face Buffy, the knife gripped tightly in her clenched fist.

"How about what you want to do after we're out of here?"

Faith laughs at the idea. "What I want to do? I don't think it's up to me. There's no way the council will let me get away this time. I'm going to be locked up for the rest of my life. Or maybe they'll decide it's time to call a new slayer."

"You really think the council would – kill you?" Buffy's face scrunches in a sour expression.

Why is she cringing at the idea of them killing me? Wasn't she just willing to kill me yesterday?

"Sure, why not? I'm an evil murderer, what other choice do they have?" Faith shrugs as if this is a foregone conclusion. She'll never be anything other than trash.

"There has to be some other way."

"Why does there have to be? And who's to say that when I get out of here, I don't just go after you and your friends? Nothing has changed, we're still enemies. You still hate me."

"I never hated you, Faith."

"Coulda fooled me. Usually, stabbing someone isn't a sign of un-hate."

Faith looks over to see a confusing look of sadness on Buffy's face, the same look that was there as the knife plunged in. Faith sighs and turns back to the wall. This is all so dumb. Why can't she just back off? We could never be friends. She's too self-involved to think about anybody but herself. I just know she looks down on her so-called friends. They're not as good as her, and she knows it. That's why she hates me. She knows I'm just as good as she is. She sees how much I enjoy being the slayer, and she's jealous. I'd be so much better off if she'd stayed dead.

Buffy

Buffy stifled a shudder, closing her eyes and trying not to remember what it was like to stab Faith. What it felt like to see the blood falling through Faith's fingers. I don't even know who I was when I came after her. I was willing to end another person's life to save a vampire. I was going to kill a person I actually care about. I don't understand how I could have gone that far. Maybe that's what it was like for Faith with the mayor. Maybe she felt like she had no other choice.

"I'm sorry." Buffy's voice is barely a whisper. She's filled with confusion and regret. She was always so sure of herself and her choices. Now nothing makes sense.

"What?"

Buffy stands up to face Faith, finally able to look into the rogue slayer's eyes. "I'm sorry for .. stabbing you."

Faith just laughs and turns back away.

I'm not sure what response I was hoping for there, something more than that for sure.

"I'm sorry if you thought I hated you. I admit I was not as welcoming as I could have been when you first arrived. I should have..."

"Should have what exactly? Are you trying to take the blame for all the evil shit I've done?" Faith is enraged now. She's yelling while approaching Buffy and still holding the knife. "My actions are my own. You aren't responsible for them."

Buffy's eyes are wide now, looking at the knife in Faith's hand.

Faith sees Buffy's fear and rolls her eyes. "I'm not going to attack you." She drops the knife and walks back to the other wall, sliding to the floor.

"I'm just trying to tell you that maybe I understand how you could have done the things you did. That I don't think you're evil." Why does this have to be so hard? She can't even accept when I'm trying to be nice to her. Though I guess telling someone you don't think they're evil isn't exactly nice.

"Great, I'm so glad you don't think I'm evil."

"Faith! Don't you want to be..."

"Be what? Be good? Be like you? All self-righteous and always doing the right thing?"

"Don't you want to be happy?" The look of shock on Faith's face, as if she's never even considered that she could be happy stunned Buffy into silence.

Faith

Happy? Is she serious? My entire life has been about surviving. Happiness was never something I even thought about. Faith only scoffed in response, once she overcame her initial shock of the ridiculous question.

"I'm sorry... I shouldn't have…."

"No, you shouldn't have. You don't know anything about me." Faith stands up and begins pacing again. "You never asked me a single question. You were too busy being jealous of me for stealing your thunder."

"That's not..."

"Bullshit. That's exactly what it was. I could see how you reacted when you saw your friends wanted to hear my stories. And yeah, I told them some good stories. But you should have wanted to know more about me too. You should have tried harder." Faith is furious now, yelling in Buffy's face. Buffy is only looking up sadly at Faith. The look of sadness is only making Faith angrier.

"You're right. I should have tried harder. But you're wrong about why I didn't." Buffy covered her mouth after she said this as if that would somehow take the words back.

"Oh, really? Care to share your reason with the rest of the class?" Faith has a cocky grin on her face. Guessing that Buffy is panicking about what she just said. Wondering what the big secret could be.

Buffy

Oh god. Why did I say that? I didn't mean to say that. She could be right. It was just jealousy. I was just being a stupid jealous girl. Mad because the new slayer was cooler than me, mad because she was getting so much attention. What would be so wrong with that? Why does there have to be another reason?

"I..."

"Come on, B. Spit it out. Was it that you were afraid to find out that you were just as dark as I am?"

Another perfectly good reason. That could be why right? She was having so much fun, and I was so uptight. That's a great reason to have not wanted to get too close to her. It's definitely not that I felt a strange attraction to her, one that I didn't understand or even admit to myself. Not until that night on the roof, not until I almost killed her did I realize what all those feelings were. How can I possibly explain that? There is no chance she won't use that to torment me.

Buffy turns away, facing the wall. She's trying to find her strength, but she can't do it while looking at Faith. Looking at Faith confuses her and makes her feel weak in ways she never imagined. "I guess I don't trust myself around you." What am I doing? There's no point in telling her this. It only ends in pain.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"You make me feel things that I don't understand." This is a mistake. I'm just making being trapped in here even harder. There's no way she's going to feel the same way. I just tried to kill her. All I ever did was try to push her away.

"Because I take what I want?"

"Yeah, that's part of it. Also, because you seem to know what it is that you want."

"You don't know what you want?" Faith's harsh tone softens a bit.

Buffy is shaking now, still facing the wall. What am I hoping for here? We're stuck in this cell. We're stuck with the choices we've made. Even if I can admit what it is that I want, it's not like I could ever have it. There's no way we can start all over, we both said and did things that we can never take back.

Faith

What the hell is this? Is she saying what I think she's saying? I always flirted with her, but that was just to try to get some kind of reaction. I never meant anything by it. Not that I didn't think about us being together from time to time. How could I not? But seriously? I never imagined for a second that she'd be interested in me. Doesn't matter now, though. We're going to die down here. Even if we do get out of here, she did try to kill me. It's not like I can just forget that.

"I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but none of it matters now. We're trapped in here. Even if we do get out, I'm in jail or dead."

"Now it's my turn to call bullshit. It totally matters." Buffy finally turns around and faces Faith.

"I didn't even know you could swear."

"There are all kinds of things you don't know about me."

"I'm getting that." Faith looks at Buffy and leans back against the wall. "So, what are you trying to say?"

"I'm not sure what I'm trying to say."

"Am I supposed to believe that you treated me the way you did because what? Because you liked me? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?"

"Don't you think that I know it's insane? Things made a lot more sense before."

"If any of this is true, you did a good job of hiding it. I certainly had no idea."

Buffy frowns and looks at the ground, "I didn't realize that was why until…"

"Until when?"

"Until I stabbed you."

"You have lost your mind completely."

"Probably. I don't know why I said anything, I just… wanted..." Buffy covers her hands with her face, unable to say anything else.

Faith pushes herself off the wall to move closer to Buffy, not quite in her personal space, but pretty close. "What is it? You wanted to get down and dirty with me?" Faith watches Buffy's face scrunch up at the crudeness. It only made Faith smile wider. "Is that what it was?" She moves closer, holding eye contact with the smaller slayer.

"Faith, what are you doing?" Buffy barely whispers as she watches Faith stalk towards her.

"I'm not doing anything. Is there something you want me to be doing?" OK, this is way too much fun. Maybe a little mean, but what does it matter now? She's out of her mind if she thinks there could ever be something between us. I know what she thinks of me. Or maybe that's what she wants? She likes 'em dark and damaged. Faith grins as she watches Buffy squirm beneath her gaze.

"No.. I.. " Buffy stammered, backing away from Faith, who only follows, still keeping a short distance between them. Buffy's back bumps into the wall and Faith places her hands on the wall to either side of her head.

"No? Are you sure? I can't blame you for wanting to get with me. I mean, come on, just look at me." Faith backs away to show off her impressive body.

"You're so full of shit."

"Again with the swearing."

"You're only doing this to get me to react, to push you away. That way, you can be in control, even if I reject you."

"I hate to burst your bubble, princess. Oh, wait, no, I don't." Faith leers at Buffy eyes gleaming with hatred. "I have no interest in you. You're way too tightly-wound and not to mention you don't have the exactly have the right equipment."

Buffy only sputters, unable to speak. Something about her shattered look sparks rage in Faith.

"You don't know anything about me!" Faith screams in Buffy's face, hating how all of this is making her feel. She doesn't want to feel anything, even if it might be good. All feelings end in pain. If she lets herself feel this, she'll have to feel everything else. She'll have to remember the blood on her hands and how it felt to be the person who did those terrible things. It's not worth it, not even for Buffy.

"You're right. I don't know anything about you. Some of that is my fault, but some of it is yours too. You don't want me to know anything real about you. I might get close to you. I might be someone who could actually care about you, and that terrifies you."

Faith bursts out laughing and then composes herself, her face hardening as she does her best to be the person she knows everyone expects her to be. "Let's not forget the biggest reason I could never be with you!" She lifts her shirt to expose the wound. Her earlier stretching had caused it to open and bleed. The blood had caked on her shirt and lifting it tugged at the scab, causing fresh blood to spill from the wound. Faith grimaced against the pain and Buffy reached out tentatively, her eyes full of sadness. Faith smacked the hand away a lot more forcefully than she needed to. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

Buffy backs away, pain and fear in her eyes, but she's not crying.

Faith's face hardens further, irritated that she's not getting more of a reaction. She stalks towards Buffy now. Her eyes piercing and full of anger. Buffy's posture is relaxed, but Faith knows she would be ready to fight as soon as Faith made a move. Faith's fists are balled up, her body is rigid and filled with fury.

Buffy's eyes are soft and locked on Faith's, "Don't you feel a connection to me?" Faith frowned a little at the question. "Whenever we're near each other, I feel..."

"That's just the slayer bond, it doesn't mean anything." Faith cut her off, but calmed slightly, her posture relaxing. She did feel a connection, she just didn't want to think about it. Thinking about it would admit to having feelings about something. She had put a lot of effort into not feeling anything

"I don't think that's what it is. I didn't feel like this around Kendra. I could sense her, similar to vampires. But this is different. I guess you don't feel it the same way." Buffy frowns but keeps her eyes trained on Faith.

"Nope."

"I don't believe you." Buffy's tensed up again. Staring at Faith, her fists clenched at her side.

Faith only shrugs.

"Why does this have to be so hard? Why can't you accept that maybe I do care about you?"

"Accepting isn't the problem. I just don't care whether you do or not."

"You are such a liar. I know you care, I've seen it."

"You don't know shit about me."

"Fine, then tell me something."

"What, you want to know my story? I should tell you how daddy ran away, and mommy never loved me?" Faith pauses, hoping to see shock on Buffy's face. She's disappointed when there is none. Buffy only stares calmly back. "I don't need your pity."

"Wasn't planning on giving you any."

Faith's eyes narrow. "Can whatever this is be over now? I'd like to just die in silence if that's ok with you."

"It's not ok with me. Nothing about this is ok with me."