Here is another chapter for you guys to enjoy! Please Enjoy! I don't own anything.
You Deserve a Better Father
There was a knock on the door "come in" I yelled trying not to sound weak like I have been crying, though I had been.
The door flew open and Kendall walked in with Carlos lagging in behind him.
"What" I gasped "what are you doing here" I said getting up and walking over to where Kendall was
"where is Lily Rose" he asked me.
I stared at him "why are you here" I asked again. "James called me and told me all about what happened to Lily Rose" he said looking over at James.
I looked at him and glared at him. "You called him when I specifically told you not to."
James stood up "what, I had to this was an emergency" he said frowning and then sitting back down again and crossed his arms.
Carlos leaned on Kendall shoulder "is she okay Logan" he asked with fear in his dark brown eyes.
I wanted to say yes, so really bad but I couldn't. "I don't know" I said sitting down because I was feeling really weak again and was sure I would pass out if I stood up. Carlos and Kendall both stared at me, their hearts aching as much as mine.
"She'll be fine" Kendall said walking over to put his hand on my shoulder to comfort me. "James told us everything that happened, she will make it because she is your daughter and you're strong and so is she. Trust me she will be fine."
I wanted to believe every word he was saying but I somehow knew that something was not right and it could not be alright.
"Where is she anyway" he asked.
I swallowed hard and tried to keep my tears locked in. "The… the doctors took her", I was still holding her pink sleepers although they were partly wet from the tears I shed.
Kendall held his arms out for me to collapse in. "come on Logan" he cooed and I fell in his arms and he stroked my head. I felt his breath run down my neck and onto my back. I stood there in his arms like a hopeless little baby.
The door few open, i jumped out of Kendall's arms, not wanting to be seen in his arms by a doctor. But it was not a doctor, it was Camille, wait Camille?
"Logan, where is she" she asked walking over to me and staring at me with her dark, worried eyes.
"Uhh, uhhh the doctors have her" I said, too worried to even look at her now. Would she leave me, of course she would I almost killed our baby. I then got courage to look at her ."Kendall told you everything?" I asked breathing very hard now.
"Yes he did, is she going to be okay? She asked.
I looked down at me feet, "I don't know babe" I told her as she fell into my arms and I wrapped my arms around her back, rubbing it. "Are you mad at me" I asked her as I released her and looked down at her. "Because you have every right to be" I said giving her permission to be mad at me.
"No" she told me honestly, as she took my hand in hers and held it.
"NO, how can you not be mad at me, I don't know what is going to happen to your daughter" I said and pulled my hand out of hers, and threw them in my pockets.
Camille put her finger in her month and bit her fingernail and frowned. "She is our daughter" she said confusingly. "Well, I don't deserve to be her father, I almost took her life." I said, tears stinging my eyes making my vision blurry.
"Do you know how many babies go to the emergency rooms because of accidents?" She said.
What she said was true but what she didn't understand this wasn't really an accident because I caused it when I left the medicine bottle in her reach. "I left the medicine on the counter, I was in a hurry to go play video games with James, I did a very foolish thing and now my daughter is in danger with her life." I told her as simply as I could. But this was not a simple matter at all, this was a huge matter. I trudged over to the chair and sat down she came over and sat there on my lap and lay her head on my shoulder.
Dr. Henderson walked in, looked around and frowned, "when I left this room it was half empty and now it is half full" he remarked. "Mr. Mitchell" he said addressing me with sorrow in his eyes,
"Yes" I said sensing something was wrong, well not sensing, knowing. I stood up to the tall doctor, I felt Camille grab my hand and squeeze it tight. She almost squeezed it too much.
"Are you the mother to the baby" he asked Camille, holding his hand out to shake it
"yes".
"I'm Dr. Henderson" he said as they shook hands. "Your daughter, she must have swallowed a lot of medicine because she is still unconscious, and it looks pretty serious, we would like to keep her until she improves or…." his voice drifted off or maybe it didn't but if he did say anything else I certainly did not hear it.
I felt a major stab in my heart.
"She is room 10 if you want to see her, would you like to see her" the heavy- hearted doctor asked.
"Yes please" I answered for all of us.
"Here let me show you the way" he walked out of the room to lead us to where the baby girl lay.
Kendall put his hand on my shoulder "are you okay" he asked rather nervously.
"Yes" I replied showing no emotions what so ever. Kendall, Carlos and James all looked as nervous as I was. The doctor stopped at room 10 and opened the door. I let go of Camille's hand and ran over to my baby and knelt down beside her. She was lying there with only her diaper on, she had all sort of chords and medical objects around her. I brushed her baby brown curls out of her eyes and curled a curl on my finger. I couldn't take this anymore, I just couldn't. I broke down into tears, tears stained my cheeks. I ran my fingers down her soft cheeks, never had I so badly wanted her to stare at me with those big brown eyes of hers, giggle and playfully pull my hair, which I didn't like but I would not have mined at all, not at all.
Camille walked up beside me and looked down at her, she had tears in eyes, I knew she was trying to be brave and trying not to cry.
"You can let your tears out, Cam, hon" I said choking on my own tears, as she met my eyes I quickly left her. From the corner of the room I saw my three best buddies in the world standing there very solemnly, I knew they would always be there for me, no matter what happened. I slowly put my hand in my pocket and pulled out her little pink bow and put it on her head. I then got up and wiped my eyes with my arm and tried to be brave and stop my girlish crying but every time I looked at her cold bare body lying there and not being sure if she would ever see the light of day again the tears crept in.
Dr. Henderson and a nurse walked in "how are you doing, you okay" he asked as he put his clipboard down on the counter and turned to face us and the unfortunate baby.
"We are okay, I guess" Camille answered for us but she sounded very not positive about it. We were all feeling sad and depressed about it, but I was sure I felt the worst though since I was her father and the whole reason she is here.
Dr. Henderson looked at Lily Rose; I blinked back tears so he wouldn't notice.
Kendall suddenly spoke up, "she will be okay right?" he asked.
The doctor looked down and back at Kendall "I cannot say for sure, I am sorry."
Kendall nodded his head and looked at me "but she will make it right?" I knew he wanted everything to be alright, well everyone did.
Dr. Henderson scratched his head "I am so sorry to say this, but there is probably a greater chance she won't make it, and if she does, I would be very surprised". "I am so sorry, but she has had serious over dosage."
I already knew she might not make it but hearing it from a doctor nearly tore my heart out of my chest, doctors are supposed to be able to help fix people, but I couldn't blame anyone at this moment but me. I was the reason why.
I heard Camille whimper and she saw her cover her face and she wept into her hands. Hands that never probably will ever get to hold the baby that we created together. I kept on hearing what the doctor said in my mind "she probably won't make it and if she does I would be very surprised" The horrid words kept circling my brain, taunting me. My heart started to beat so fast, I seriously thought I would die.
Camille grabbed me and sobbed into my shirt, I could not live with myself anymore, I let go of Camille and leaned over to kiss my baby. I planted a small kiss on her little soft cheek "I love you baby girl" I whispered to her, my tears fell on her cheeks and I slowly wiped them dry. I never felt so lonely and so desperate to hold her.
I stood up and stared at her through tears, tears streamed down my cheeks and then I grabbed Camille and kissed her softly on her lips. Then, before something could change my mind, I turned around and ran out of the room. Away from the two people I loved with all my heart, soul and mind.
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