David Bowie named this chapter while I wasn't looking.

Review replies;

SOLmaster: Yeah, the Syndicate has no room for anyone under forty. :P Thanks for reading!

TweenisodeOrange: SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! SPACESHIP! XD Thanks for reviewing!

LightandDarkness Warrior: They played him like a fiddle. =P Thanks for the review.

Zim'sMostLoyalServant: Yeah, Eustace ain't ready for full time Evil Syndicate yet. :P Thanks very much!

Chapter Three: Space Oddity

"I've seen a lot of missions go downhill," Fletcher said, "But I've never seen it happen five seconds after I arrived."

He and Thompson were standing in the control tower of the museum, having met up with the tour group. Jed was pacing back and forth, looking very worried – Danny was scanning the various instruments around him, trying to find something at would help them.

"So, somebody shot Jimmy and Timmy into space," mused Sandy, "But how? Who could've..."

"...we need to think of something!" exclaimed Jed, "If I can't get Eustace back down his father will kill me!"

"...Eustace," Sandy repeated, "Eustace...Strych. Yeah, we should've seen this coming."

"I don't see it," said Danny, scratching his chin, "Eustace isn't a genius, he's just rich! He couldn't operate a spacecraft, he must be working for..."

He paused, then suddenly facepalmed.

"Craig Lawrence Amitous – Calamitous," he grunted, "Duh."

"Well, it's just the Syndicate," shrugged Spongebob, "Nothing we haven't beaten before, right?"

"And it's not like anybody else is gonna get inv-" began Danny.

"TEN-HUT!"

General Abercrombie kicked in the door and marched inside, flanked by two air force guards.

Danny buried his head in his hands.

"Could you've at least waited 'till I finished my sentence?" he muttered.

"I wanna know what happened here!" Abercrombie barked, marching right up to Jed's face, "Tell me, nerdlinger, what did you shoot into space?!"

"A-a-the Space Elevator," stammered Jed, "Um-um-the made by Dr. Amitious, sir – we're working out how to g-get it back..."

"Won't it just fall back when it runs outta fuel?" demanded Abercrombie.

Danny pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well, no, because it's space," replied Jed, "No gravity – well, I say 'no gravity', what I mean is 'gravity so light it will...'"

"Dang it, poindexter, get to the point!" thundered Abercrombie.

"R-right," gulped Jed, "W-well, it will orbit the Earth once on th-the limited fuel it has and w-will begin re-entry in about...ah...three hours."

"So it'll land back where it started," grunted Abercrombie.

"Well...in a...um...vague sense of the word, yes."

There was a long silence.

"What do you mean 'vague,'" demanded Fletcher.

"Well, there isn't actually a lander installed yet so...um...it'll be less of a landing and more of a case of...um...slamming into the ground at about eleven hundred miles an hour."

There was another long silence.

"So if we don't work something out," said Sandy, "We're gonna be peeling Jimmy and Timmy off the ground with a spatula."

"Don't worry, young freakishly-squirrel-like lady!" snapped Abercrombie, "General Abercrombie is on the case!"

He turned to one of his guards.

"Private! Run back to base and grab a box of spatulas, on the double!"

"...heeeeeere am I sitting in a tin caaaan..."

"Carl! Shut up!" bellowed Sheen.

The group was floating about in the room, gazing out the window at the Earth.

"Look at it," whispered Dani, "It's so beautiful, so majestic, so..."

"...distant," grunted Timmy, "How the heck are we getting back down?"

"Well, the engines are mostly out of fuel," mused Jimmy, "What we've got left will probably get us around the planet...so all we really have to worry about is slowing our decent before we explode!"

"...wonderful," sniffed Eustace, "Thank you, Neutron, that was most helpful."

"Hey, you're the one who got us stuck up here," snapped Jimmy, "You're not allowed to complain!"

"...you know, it'd be a real help if one of us had powerful, reality warping helpers to deal with something like this," Dani thought out loud, looking at Timmy.

"Yeah, it would."

Dani crossed her arms. Two seconds later, Timmy realised what she meant.

"...oh, yeah, Cosmo and Wanda," he nodded, "Hold on, I just get 'em, I gave 'em to Spongebob for safe keep...ing."

He trailed off and looked at his feet.

"Oops."

"Good job," grunted Jimmy.

"Uh, guys?" asked Carl, "Is that thing supposed to be doing that?"

The group looked at the rock in the case. It was no longer a rock. Instead, a ball of grey goo floated inside the case, bubbling and warping like a lava lamp.

"The alien," nodded Jimmy, "It absorbed the rock."

He turned to Eustace.

"This is what I was afraid of," he snapped, "We need to get rid of it before it eats the whole shuttle."

"No, it's mine, you can't touch it!" growled Eustace.

"Fine," shrugged Jimmy, "Get eaten by a blob. See if I care."

Eustace blinked.

"So yes, this is the garbage chute," said Eustace.

Jimmy, Eustace and Dani had made their way to the back compartment of the elevator, and were standing next to a small box, not unlike a safe, built into the wall.

"Are you sure it's gonna fit through this?" asked Dani, "It's kinda...teeny. And the case is..."

"Then we'll take it out of the box," retorted Eustace, as if talking to a small child.

"No, we can't," snapped Jimmy, "If we touch it, it'll start eating our hands. We just have to hope the box will fit."

"Fine," grumbled Eustace.

He turned the case on its side and tried to fit it into the chute. The bottom fit in nicely, but it got stuck halfway through.

"It's too long," sighed Jimmy, "We'll have to find an airlock or something."

"It'll fit," snarled Eustace, pushing harder on the box.

"Are you sure you should be..." Dani began.

"I know what I'm doing, you ignoramus," sneered Eustace, "Now help me push!"

"Eustace!" exclaimed Jimmy, "It doesn't fit! Come on, we can find a different airlock!"

"That'd be too hard, Neutron!" exclaimed Eustace, "We have an opening here! I'm using it!"

"Eustace, listen to him!" shouted Dani, "It just doesn't fit! We need to..."

"Shut your mouth, you stupid girl!" thundered Eustace, "I have everything under control!"

He forced his shoulder against the case.

It shattered.

Eustace flew forward, slamming his face into the side of the wall.

The blob wafted in the other direction, throwing itself into Dani's face.

Jimmy buried his face in his hands.

"Good job, Eustace, good job."

Eustace pushed himself away from the wall, looking over to Dani. The blob had absorbed into her face, but otherwise she looked unharmed. She crossed her arms.

"So," she grunted, "Stupid girl, wasn't it?"

Eustace didn't reply.

"...no, I will not work for your kind. In fact, I would never even consider it! Do not call this number again!"

Vlad slammed the phone onto the receiver.

"Darn it, Calamitous," he muttered to himself, "You had no right to hand out that information!"

"Mr. Mayor?"

Vlad looked up. Carlton had walked into the office.

"Ah, Mr. Carlton," he nodded, "Good to see you. Can you call a meeting with the Guys in White? I need to discuss a few things with them."

"Yes sir," nodded Carlton, "By the way, there's a letter for you."

The assistant planted an envelope on his desk. Vlad sighed.

"Carlton, I told you to send my letters to the mansion," he snapped, "I'll handle them in..."

Carlton was already gone.

Vlad rolled his eyes and opened the envelope, muttering to himself.

"If these people think I'm going to buy cheap laundry detergent from a mail order company, they've got another thing..."

He trailed off, jaw dropping.

Mr. Masters,

Our department has been going over security footage from the Chrysler Building RE the White Suit Incident. We have found evidence that puts you there and working for the Man in the White Suit – among other things.

Meet me tomorrow morning. We need to talk. Failure to comply will result in some fairly incriminating footage being uploaded to the internet.

Do not attempt to escape. I have my eye on you.

NF

"Well," Vlad said to himself, "This changes everything."

It does, Mr. Masters. It really does...