-glares- I really don't think I got Jazz down right. -shrugs- Sorry people, but Movie!Jazz? Has got to be one of the most important characters to write, especially when attempting to make a fic, ya know, tasteful. So there's a lot of G1!Jazz mixed in. I also had some trouble getting Simmons' voice down. -face palms- But, hey, I finally got the scene out that was - orginally - supposed to be in part three. So, go read.

Title: On The Universal Pride Of Those Identified As Male (04/05)
Characters: Miles, Prowl, Jazz, Simmons, Sam
Pairings: ProwlxJazz
Summary: Miles meets Prowl. A very upset Prowl. Who is proving that some things are known to all socities. Even alien ones.
Warnings: er... robot slash? robot genderswapping? miscevious Miles? mentions of unsavory things? allusions to robot sex?
Disclaimer: -pets Transformers- My mom banned me from having anymore pets, so I don't own them.

Simmons was really not sure how to take this. The Autobot – the one who came back from the dead, figures – had decided he needed a potty break. Acting upon this utterly random decision, Jazz had pulled over at a truck stop and promptly kicked him out. Unsure of what else to do, he'd wandered into the store, halfway between confused and outraged. Though, with every passing minute he was getting closer to outraged, though that probably had more to do with the teenager – a drug addict, undoubtedly, with hair like that – who was currently rambling at him.

Sometimes he missed life before the aliens. Oh, sure, this was what he – and several generations of his family – had been waiting for their entire lives, but what was the point in dealing with it? Of all the things he had thought would come with the NBE's, an extortionist and a criminal were not included. Nor had he expected them to be able to raise the dead – though he was slightly comforted by the fact that this was the first attempt they'd made at the act. And he certainly hadn't expected himself to be subject to said recently revived alien's unpredictable moods.

In all actuality, it had been proven that only Jazz and Prime – who was 'busy', which what Simmons didn't know, - had the patience to deal with him, leaving the Solstice to deal with the S7 agent all on his lonesome, which explained his 'moods' quite nicely. Nobody could be nice all the time.

And the kid was still talking. It'd been, like, ten minutes and Simmons hadn't even responded yet! So of course he was thankful when his phone rang.

"Yo, Simmons. Time to go." The upbeat tone of the second most standoffish NBE – amongst the Autobots, at least – was fairly disturbing.

"What is wrong with you?"

"I do believe a more appropriate question would be 'What is right?'" Okay, that was creepy. He considered responding, but chose instead to glare at his phone with the full and complete knowledge that the other could see him.

"Seriously, man, get out here. Oh, and bring your new friend with ya."

"Oka- Wait, what?!"

"The blond kid that's staring at your like you've lost your mind. Prowl's rather insistent on bringing him along. Say's that it'd be rude to ditch him." Prowl? Ditch? Rude? These guys didn't even seem to acknowledge the concept of polite!

"Sam! Bro!"

"Miles, stop hugging me!"

"But they're was a big robot, and a little human guy who might've been a robot too!" What?

"What? Human robot?" Okay, that was… what?

"Yeah, I talked to him for like fifteen straight minutes and he never even said anything. It was creepy." The blond leaned forward 'slyly' and whispered, "I think he's a spy for gnomes." Okay, this was weird, even for Miles. Had he accidentally taken drugs? It wasn't like him, he took surprisingly good care of his body, but, still…

And then he heard a crash. And then he saw the most recently arrived Autobot shut down, with the ones that didn't rush to catch the other staring at his best – human – friend as though he'd lost his mind. Briefly, Sam considered telling them that Miles had never been quite right, but didn't want to risk another of them crashing. Finally, he came to the realization that Miles had been telling the truth – the latest arrival was distinctly female.

That was when Simmons seemed to realize the same fact, commenting on the fact that he'd not realized that robots would needed sexes. Jazz, who seemed to be the one currently responsible for the green Autobot, smirked and asked him if it hadn't occurred to the humans that they weren't the only race in the world capable of 'sex for pleasure'.

Simmons gaped. Mikaela gaped. Sam gaped. And Miles… Miles cackled, leading Sam to realize that it would probably be in the best interest of everyone to keep the Solstice far, far away from his spastic friend.

His systems were rebooting, bringing him around to an unfamiliar ceiling. His first response was to panic, millennia of warfare screaming, quite loudly, 'Decepticons!', though solid control stopped him from acting on the instinct. Only then he felt the proximity of his bondmate and wondered exactly what was going on. Finally he remembered his harrowing experience with the human – and he still hadn't been able to understand the boy's fascination with bears, considering the danger they posed – and the final remark that caused his battle computer to crash. Quite frankly, it was amazing he'd lasted as long as he had.

Glancing to the side, fully expecting to be in at least a makeshift medbay with a raging Ratchet, he instead found himself in a room, alone excepting for a silent Jazz. Which could be bad or good, depending on the circumstances, and Prowl wasn't sure which it would be this time – he'd never been able to predict Jazz, which probably explained the initial attraction. People, naturally, are attracted to those who they consider 'different'.

"Finally awake, are ya?"

"It would seem so." The silver moved forward to settle on top of his partner, almost casual, despite the fact that his actions were far from innocent.

"Ya know, if it hadn't been so long since I last saw ya, I'd kick ya out for making me wait." Deep, softly spoken words, and it had been far too long since Prowl had last felt the other to even respond under his ministrations. "But it has been too long, so I'm gonna have to punish ya later. For now… I think I'm gonna figure out the differences between this body and your old one." The Charger gasped, and tried to remember why he had ever wanted to stay away.