The tears came more naturally now and she realized she could not stop the flow of memories along with them. She did not want to stop the memories anymore. She could not fight them. Life was growing worse and worse for her and she knew this would happen. She knew he was more than she deserved. She wished she could have him and even thought that things might work out after all, but her life did not work that way. She always had the things she loved snatched from her. Nothing could stay in her grasp.
At school, the two of them were inseparable. She would not let him go. She could not let him go. They would be best friends and she knew it. She realized, however, that the longer she spent time with him, the more she gained feelings for him. She would talk in the common room with him everyday just to talk to him. She could not live without him. She still did not know if he liked her as much as she liked him, but she still would not ask. She needed to wait. She needed to wait until they were even better friends. She would not be able to survive if he ever rejected her and she could not take the risk. She just kept her thoughts to herself and waited for him.
She began to calm down now and the tears stopped flowing from her eyes. She thought about how wonderful he was. He could not have been more perfect. She remembered how his eyes would glow as she spoke to him, how he was really listening to her whenever she had something to say. No one treated her like that and she knows no one ever will, but she has to face it. He is gone. She messed up and she could not change that now. Nothing could change it.
As a few years went by, they became not only friends, but best friends. There was no one else who was closer. They knew everything about each other and knew that both of them needed each other for the rest of their lives.
She loved him. She knew he was the only one she wanted to spend her entire life with. He was perfect. She needed him and she needed to be with him. She knew that he would never hurt her and that she could always count on him. She knew she loved him, but she was afraid to tell him. She did not want to lose her best friend. So, she did not tell him. She would not tell him until she knew for sure he loved her back and so she waited.
Why did she wait? Did she not realize how much it hurt her to see him everyday, but know he was not hers forever? She knew he could have found someone else, but she could not tell him. She did not have the courage to. She waited for him to tell her.