Once Blaine was fully awake, Kurt and the nurses were better able to calm him down. He was understandably terrified and in a good deal of pain. "Blaine, Honey, what can I do for you to make it better?" "I don't know. I don't like this. It hurts and I can't move." Kurt tried anything he could to help soothe his panic-ridden fiancé. He rubbed his shoulders, carded his fingers through his hair and sang to him. Nothing was helping. Just then a nurse came into the room with a syringe and explained it was Valium. The medication was administered and Blaine was much easier to entertain. Kurt actually smiled for the first time in a day when Blaine started singing nursery rhymes in a drug-induced haze.
The first few days lingered much like this. Blaine constantly drugged to the teeth and Kurt sitting with him and making sure he was well cared for. The nurses quickly fell in love with the couple and found Blaine too adorable for words. The Andersons were never far away. They stayed at Kurt and Blaine's apartment and took shifts sitting with Blaine so that Kurt could take breaks to sleep and eat.
It was at the one week mark after the accident that Blaine became unbearable to be around. He was over the whole thing. He was done and didn't hesitate to take it out on Kurt. One morning after a particularly difficult physical therapy session Blaine stopped talking to Kurt altogether. "Honey, please tell me what you're thinking. I can't help you if you don't talk to me". Blaine just stared at the ceiling with a steely glare. " I'm serious, I'm trying here and all you're doing is shutting me out". That was the last straw. "Oh really? All I'm doing Kurt? Right now all I can think is 'I wonder if I'll ever be able to hug you again or if I'll be ok with rolling down the aisle instead of walking down it with you' I'm sure it must be SO difficult for you but trust me, it's worse on my end." "Then tell me Blaine. Don't shut me out and don't yell at me!" "Kurt, please just leave. I can't handle this right now. I just want you to leave…please." The pleading in Blaine's voice almost cracked his resolve. "I'm not leaving. I'm here for the long haul and I'm not leaving. You can yell and curse and hate me all you want but the last thing you need is to be alone."
Three more weeks passed before Blaine was deemed stable enough to be moved to a rehab hospital. He was loaded into the back of an ambulance and driven to Mount Sinai Hospital. They have a top-rated Spinal Cord Injury program and they are told it will be another five to six months before he will be ready to go home.
Kurt had a lot of work to do in the next few months. Their current apartment was nowhere near wheelchair accessible. They lived in a 3rd floor walkup and it was just under 600 sq ft. Luckily, their insurance combined with the insurance of the driver who hit Blaine was taking care of relocating them to a suitable home where Blaine could live as independently as possible. Right now, money was thankfully not an issue. Kurt had meetings three times weekly with various insurance adjusters, case managers, social workers, contractors and mobility equipment specialists. It was Blaine's job to get as well as he possibly could and Kurt was determined to handle the rest.
Therapy was tough. Blaine worked so hard and Kurt could only imagine how it must feel for him to be completely unable to move his body while therapists would stretch his legs and arms to keep them limber. There wasn't much they could do really until the brace came off in 6 more weeks. Too much could set back his healing and he would be unable to gain much control over his arms and hands. He had feeling in his arms but had no real ability to use them yet besides small twitches and movements. Kurt would hold his hand but there was never a return squeeze. Just a limp hand in his to remind him of all that's happened recently.
It seemed like just yesterday they were chasing each other around Central Park on a sunny day and a rainy day where they "christened" every flat surface of their tiny apartment. Kurt wondered if any of that would ever be possible again. Will Blaine ever genuinely smile again? Will they be able to make love to one another on their wedding night? Would there even BE a wedding night? Kurt shook the negative thoughts out of his head and went back to the task at hand. Feeding dinner to Blaine while trying to keep him awake long enough to finish.
For Blaine, this was just all very tiring. Tiring and sad. It's one thing to need your boyfriend when you have the flu and he takes care of you for a couple of days by bringing you Gatorade and a trashcan to throw up in. It's another thing to need the love of your life to help you do everything. Literally, everything. The entire point to rehab is to help Blaine adjust to life once he goes home. It's not a nursing home and Kurt is involved heavily in his care. Kurt wakes him up in the morning by raising the head of his bed and helping him get ready for the day. He brushes his teeth, inspects the pin sites in his head where the brace is attached to his skull, he helps him get dressed and by far the most embarrassing of all tasks, helps him use the bathroom. Through it all, Kurt smiles at Blaine like he's still the best thing since sliced bread. 'How can he possibly still love me through all this' is a common thought in Blaine's head. After the morning rituals, it's time for therapy 6 days per week. Physical Therapy, Occupational Therapy, Psychologists, Mobility technicians come for measurements for his new power wheelchair that will be custom-built in the coming weeks that will allow Blaine to be semi-independent again. As of now though, he is sat up, turned, fed, bathed, toileted, groomed and transferred to a wheelchair mostly by Kurt and sometimes a nurse or therapist if Kurt is unavailable. In the evening, it's dinner and a television show followed by a bed bath and bathroom routine then finally he is propped up on pillows behind his back, knees and under his arms to keep him comfortable enough to sleep. Kurt then settles into the sleeper sofa in the private room to sleep always with an ear open if Blaine needs him in the middle of the night. What Blaine hopes is that Kurt does this all because he loves him and would do whatever he needs of him out of that love. He hopes that one day they will still be able to have a wedding and show all of their friends and families that they will be just fine because love conquers all. Even broken vertebrae and damaged spinal cords.
His worst nightmare is that Kurt feels obligated to be here. He is terrified that one day, Kurt will just walk out the door and decide that Blaine isn't worth a life of being more of a caregiver and less of a partner. He has been trying to mentally prepare himself for the possibility that he may have to be moved back home to Ohio to live with his parents if Kurt bolts. His parents love him, that's not a problem at all. They would love to have him closer to them, especially now. He just knows that if he goes home to his parents, the chances of him ever being happy and independent ever again will be gone. His mother will baby him and insist that he live with them where he will be "safe and well taken care of". He wants to be able to finish school one day and have a career. He doesn't want to live with his parents and collect a disability or settlement check once a month. He wants to have a happy marriage and possibly have a family of his own one day. He's not ready to be the 'poor crippled guy that used to be something and was on his way to success'. He wants the success!
It's with this newfound inspiration that he wakes up the next morning with a new attitude. He needs to be the Blaine that Kurt fell in love with. Maybe he can't dance around and sing like he used to but he can make Kurt feel good about himself and he can use the puppy dog eyes to melt his heart. He can't lose Kurt….he just can't. Kurt is the only good thing he sees he has going for him right now. Ignoring him and snapping at him isn't going to help his chances of retaining the best relationship he can ever imagine having. He needs to sweep Kurt off his feet, figuratively. This is going to take some help from some nurses. He will wait until Kurt goes out for his meeting with the home modification expert this afternoon and go over his plan with Jean the Charge Nurse.