Chapter Four

Tony hesitated before approaching his boss. The dark circles under his eyes looked like bruises, and while Gibbs always sat with perfect posture, Tony noticed that his shoulders seemed to be slightly slumped forward. "Boss?"

Gibbs was startled from his thoughts and looked across the room to Tony. "What is it?"

"Well, um," Tony shifted uncomfortably. "I was thinking that we should probably call her mom and brother. They need to know. I can call them, if you want." Tony knew Abby's mother well. He had gone back to Louisiana a few times with Abby and she had taken him under her wing when she learned of his shady childhood. He still received a card at Christmas and on his birthday.

"No." Gibbs pushed away from his desk and stood. Running a hand through his hair, he sighed heavily. "No, I'll do it."

The silence in her lab was just as deafening as the music she was constantly blasting. He felt like an intruder as he flipped on the lights and then the computer at her desk. She had Skype and a web cam set up t communicate with her mother, and Gibbs thought it best to tell her directly rather than phoning and having Abby's brother Brian doing the dirty work and interpreting .

Gibbs circled around her lab while he waited for her computer to boot up; straightening her lab coat on the hook by the door, trailing his fingers over her beloved machines, and then hugging Bert to his chest, pressing his nose to the fuzzy creature as it emitted a rude noise.

When her computer was up and running, Gibbs lowered himself into her chair and opened Skype. She had long ago given him her screen name and password 'just in case', though he never thought he'd have to use it.

It took several rings before his Skype call was answered and Gloria's smiling face appeared on screen. Her smiled faltered when she realized it wasn't her daughter, but smiled again when she recognized Gibbs.

Jethro!

Mrs. Sciuto.

How many times have I told you to call me Gloria.

Gibbs took a deep breath. Though he signed fairly regularly with Abby, he needed to be careful with the way his fingers moved. Abby… There was a slight hesitation with the way his fingers moved. Abby is missing.

She's what.

Gibbs signed slowly, spelling out the few words he was uncertain about, as he explained everything he knew so far.

When Gloria broke down, Gibbs was relieved to see Brian embrace his mother in a hug.

"Agent Gibbs?"

Before Gibbs could tell all the details, Gloria's hands flew. Any other time and Gibbs would have commented on how similar Abby and her mother were, both signing with incredible speed.

"Is it true?"

Gibbs' jaw tensed at the emotion in Gloria's eyes, his own memories of losing a daughter replaying in the back of his mind. "I can assure you-" his voice cracked and he paused to clear his throat, "we are doing everything we can." His hand repeated the sentiment and he watched as Gloria shook her head.

My baby, Gloria picked up a tissues to dab at her eyes, is somewhere out there. She could be dead for all we know! She told us she was safe up there, that she had you to watch out for her. Now I might never see her again!

The rational part of him knew that he couldn't stay with her at all times, nor would she have permitted him to follow her when she was meeting friends, just to be sure she arrived safely. On the other hand, he could have done… something.

She's not dead.

"How do you know? Brian interrupted.

"I can feel it in my gut." Though he said gut, he tapped his fingers over his heart. He had to believe that he would know if she were dead. "I'll let you know as soon as I know anything."

The screen went blank and Gibbs let out a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding. Glancing around the lab one last time, he remembered their final conversation.

"Mm, would hate to have to start looking at some of those job offers I've been getting."

It was a game they played often. She'd threaten that she'd look at other jobs and he would pretend to be hurt and offer dinner, both of them with a smile on their lips and a twinkle of mischief in their eyes.

Just as he stepped from the elevator, Gibbs nearly crashed into their M.E.

"Oh Jethro, tell me this is all one big mistake. Tell me our Abigail is alright."

"Wish I could, Duck."

Ducky sighed and shook his head. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

Ducky was shocked at the look of sheer panic in his friends eyes. It was rare that any emotion was so visible. "You'll find her," Ducky said, straightening his posture. "You will find her and bring her home and keep her safe. Out of everyone that needs you, it's her. Don't let her down."

"Let her down!?" Gibbs' head snapped up, the panic in his eyes replaced with the usual fire. "I would give my life to save her."

"I know. So you bring her back and then you spend the rest of your life keeping her safe."

"Ducky," Gibbs warned. He was headed toward dangerous territory. Gibbs wouldn't even let himself contemplate any sort of relationship. "I've got work to do."

"Just bring her home."

Back at his desk, Gibbs watched as his three agents split up the list of people that had gone to jail because of her. Gibbs pulled up a list of people who went to jail because of him. Those who had been recently released and had possible knowledge of his favoritism for Abby were at the top of the list. It was going to be a long evening.

They worked silently through the afternoon and evening until Ducky made them stop to eat. Continuing until the cleaning crew arrived, they made phone call after phone call, double checking the prison status of those who had been recently jailed, and finding the whereabouts of those recently released.

"Go home, get some rest." His agents would be no use the next day without some sleep. He could see the emotional impact of the case already taking its toll. McGee hadn't said a word, Tony hadn't resorted to humor, and Ziva hadn't sent a single threat in Tony's direction.

"What about you?" McGee looked up from his computer. If Gibbs was staying, he was too. They all were.

"I'm going," Gibbs switched off his computer. He knew his agents would never leave if he stayed. He grabbed his coat and badge and then his gun and headed for the elevator. He made a quick call to Fornell, who assured him that he had agents running prints and sorting evidence around the clock.

Tony, Ziva and McGee all watched silently as Gibbs headed for the elevator. The usual authority in his step was gone; instead it was replaced with hesitation and defeat.

"He will not survive this," Ziva said quietly once the elevator doors closed.

"She's not dead yet," Tony snapped.

"I know Tony, I am just saying, if we do not get her back, he…"

"I know, Ziva. I know. This team will fall apart. Gibbs will fall apart. I can't go through this again; first Kate, then the director. Then we thought you were dead, and-"

"But I am not dead. Abby is a smart woman, Tony. She might not be as strong physically, but if anyone can smart-out a captor, it is her."

Out-smart, Tony thought to himself, but let it slide. "Sometimes you need more than just your smarts."

"Come on guys, let's get out of here and get some rest. We won't be any good tomorrow otherwise." McGee slung his backpack over his shoulder and waited for the others so they could head to the elevators together.

In the parking garage they headed for their cars, and McGee had his keys in the door when Tony spoke.

"Tim?"

McGee was thrown off at the use of his first name.

"I know you still love her. I'm sorry."

McGee shrugged and opened his car door. "She's a good friend." It was hard for McGee to sit back and watch the woman he loved love someone who so obviously loved her back, but wouldn't allow himself to go beyond flirting. She didn't show it often, but he knew she was hurting, and he felt awful about not being able to do anything.

At home, McGee lost himself in an online game until he could no longer keep his eyes open and went to bed.

Tony ran; down the street, through the neighborhood and into the next one. He added an extra four miles to his usual run, though the length of time didn't change more than a minute or two. By the time he was home again, all he could manage was a hot shower before passing out on top of the covers on his bed.

Ziva drove directly to her gym. The punching bags were occupied, but as soon as she walked in people were more than willing to step aside.

Ziva was close to Abby, though not in the same way the guys were. Abby had showed her that it was okay to show emotion, and to care for people. But more importantly, Abby had taught her that it was okay (and worth it) to let people care for her in return. She had struggled for weeks with the fact that Tony, Gibbs and McGee had all risked their lives for her without even knowing she was still alive. In Mossad, she would have been added to the long list of 'losses' and life would have moved on without her.

Gibbs took the long way home, pulling into his favorite bar, a small hole-in-the-wall type place, for a quick beer. He needed something to take the edge off, and drinking in the basement was out of the question; too many memories of Abby.

He drained his beer quickly, but sat silently at the bar long afterward. He ran a finger over the squiggly grains of wood on the bar top and sighed. He had sat in this same spot with Abby at his side after Kate died and Ari had been killed. They met again after Paula Cassidy had been killed. She had brought Tony along that time, and the three of them drank until closing, each hailing a cab to get home.

She had found him there the night before Jenny's funeral, and except a toast in her name, they hadn't said a word.

I can't be drinking to your memory, Abbs. I know you're still alive. You have to be.

Suddenly he felt as though he couldn't breathe, the air slowly squeezing from his lungs with no relief. He tossed at $20 on the bar and rushed for the door, nearly crashing into someone who was on his way in. The man looked tired and irritated and was about to say something, but Gibbs mustered all the strength he had for a glare. If this man spoke, Gibbs wasn't sure he could keep his cool.

It took a while for sleep to come, and when it did he woke three hours later drenched in sweat. His dreams had been filled with the names and faces of those we wanted to save, but couldn't; Shannon, Kelly, Kate, Jenny. All of them begging, pleading with him to save Abby.

A glance to the clock by his bed told him it was 6 a.m. His bones creaked as he rolled out of bed and padded barefoot to the bathroom for a quick shower. By the time he had showered and dressed, he could smell the coffee downstairs. It had been Abby's idea to get him a coffee maker with a timer so he would have fresh coffee waiting for him first thing in the morning.

Back at NCIS he wasn't surprised to see his team already there, though Tony standing at his desk, talking on the phone had Gibbs confused. "DiNozzo?"

Tony held up a hand as he listened to the last of whatever the caller had to say.

Gibbs stepped around him and set his coffee down, straining to listen to the phone call.

"Yeah, okay." Tony slammed Gibbs' phone down. "They got a partial match on one of the prints we pulled from Abby's car."

"I.D.?"

"No, the partials are a 75% match to a couple of unsolved cases across the U.S. Fornell is bringing over copies of all those case files. He'll be here in twenty."

"Tony?" McGee asked quietly. "What kind of cases are they?"

Rather than look at McGee, Tony dropped his gaze before looking back up at Gibbs. "Murder."