The sun is too bright; it has been for weeks, rising and falling without remorse. It's so unfair. Sakura breathes deeply, clutching at her bandana so hard that her knuckles turn white.
She is two minutes late, but nobody is at the village gates yet. Maybe waking up extra early to go to her usual vigil was pointless. Not that she regrets doing it, because this is going to be her first time really outside of the village since Naruto was alive and she needed the time to speak to him before she left.
Sakura had stood over his grave for more hours than usual, promising him over and over and over again.
I will bring him back, Naruto.
.
Team Gai arrives eventually. There is a flicker of something like surprise on Gai's face when he sees her. She cannot help but think that he was expecting her to show up late, if at all. The man hides it behind a bright smile and a thumbs up; it is more subdued than his usual antics.
"We are to bring this most Youthful book of recipes to an Aspiring chef who lives in a border town!" His voice booms, and she can practically hear the capitalization of certain words. It's impressive as well as a bit intimidating. "Sakura-chan here will be joining us in place of the usual medic-nin that accompany trips to and over Fire Country borders."
Sakura bows, her slight inclination enough for her bright locks of hair to get in her face. Brushing the strands away, she realizes that she can put her hair into a small ponytail. It surprises her, that enough time has passed by for her to notice the growth.
It is a small thing to most, but all that Sakura can think of is how Naruto was alive when she last cut her hair. Naruto was alive, she knew beyond a doubt that Sasuke had a soul, and everything was good. A half-inch of hair between then and now, and it feels like too little and too much at the same time.
Her thoughts are interrupted by a low voice. "Tie the hair up." It's a blunt command, but there is a certain twinge of empathy wrapped in the words also. Sakura raises her eyes to look at the speaker.
Neji looks as tired as her.
.
The trip there is mostly uneventful. Nothing like her last C-rank mission, thankfully. Sakura has had enough of seeing her comrades bleed out for a lifetime, and she knows that she will see even more. Just, not right now.
Leaves do not crunch underneath their sandals; they are trained to not make noise. Sakura wonders when she last heard the crinkle of autumn. It is instinct, but one that she has not really noticed until now. He was always loud enough that we wouldn't have heard the footsteps anyways.
They really are ghosts, leaving no evidence of their existence behind.
Sakura tries to adjust the bandana Kakashi gave her, yet the stray strands of pink fall through. She lets go when she feels Neji take the cloth and adjust it for her.
"Thanks."
There is a pause, then, "You're welcome."
.
A tiredness lies over the whole team, and Sakura knows it is in part because of her. She is a reminder of a comrade lost, and promises broken. She does not begrudge them; they do not do it on purpose. Her team is, was, somewhat infamous and now the forgotten one is the last person standing. The circumstance is an odd one.
There is irony there, and Sakura hates it.
.
Camp is set up for the night, and Sakura takes the first lookout shift. It is not as if she will be able to sleep without either exhausting herself or having nightmares. She will take exhaustion any day of the week.
There is a rustling from behind her and she whirls around with a kunai gripped in her hand. She lowers it as soon as she sees that it is only Neji. He walks over and sits beside her, gazing into nothing for a while before he speaks.
"He forced me to believe in a fate that I alone make," a sigh, as heavy as Sakura's own, "But now, I don't know what to believe."
Sakura really looks at Neji. His aloof and reserved personality is gone, leaving only a directionless boy with bags under his milky eyes. Neji only knew him for a short amount of time, but in that time Naruto became his compass to go by. All too soon was he taken away; Sakura does not envy him, for all of his brilliance. She does not know what to do with his sudden openness, but she has to say something.
"Fate doesn't exist," her voice is rough and harsh, "if things were already written, good people wouldn't have to die."
He would still be alive.
They sit in silence, wondering if the universe really can be that cruel. When the time comes for her shift to end, Sakura hears Neji.
"Thank you." His tone is reluctant and awkward. She knows that he will be closed off like usual by the time the sun comes up.
.
"Thank you so much! My family's secret recipes have been passed down for generations, and I had no idea how I was going to get them since I moved away!" The chipper man clutches Gai-sensei's hands between his own as he gushes joy.
"You are very welcome! I am just glad that you are keeping your Family Traditions alive and Youthful!"
Being who he is, Gai does not register how loud the both of them are. His team, plus Sakura, edge away from him to spare their eardrums.
They leave the next day. All in all, it is an uneventful mission. Sakura just wonders when it will all go downhill; nothing in her world ends simply with a pat on the shoulder and a job well done.
.
The trip back is as quiet as it can get with Gai and Lee on the team. Sakura walks beside Neji and wonders how many people her friend had touched in his short life. She wishes that she had learned something from him when he was alive. But all she has is hindsight and a grave to visit.