Ch4
First of all thanks to all those who did review. As for those who didn't YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! A question was asked on the review page and maybe some other people didn't understand my less than detailed description of how Dante had ended up tied to his kennel. It was his family who tied him there! Eva figured that Dante was the dirtiest animal there! Sorry to those who didn't think it was funny…….Anyhow if you've any complaints send them to Joe. (Heh heh heh) Yeh he deals with stuff like that. Also thank for all those suggestions they were great. I jest. I got one, ONE. Actually it was an excellent one which I am about to use. I would like some new ones. You know what they say "A bird in the hand is worth- heeey that has no relevance to what we're talking about- yeh shutup .Ok let's make a deal I'll stop typing these authors notes and you stop sending those complaint letters to my reviews page. Deal? HA! I had my fingers crossed PLEASE READ THIS BIT: DO YOU THINK I SHOULD KEEP WRITING THESE SHORT CHAPTERS EVERY DAY OR HAVE A LONGER ONE EVERY NOW AND THEN? Disclaimer don't own OPS2, national geographic or Frosties Tony the tiger or my sisters ten euro. (This resides in my money box any way)nor do I own Mc Donalds
DEATH OF POSTMAN, DAY OF DENTIST!
Charles Riddle enjoyed his life as a postman.
He liked greeting all the sweet children playing with their cute little pets with not a word about world domination.
Then he pushed open the gate at the Sparda household.
He always thought it was a strange name but he'd heard the man was foreign.
He nodded at a large bunch of small kids clustered around that chap called Dante who was sitting at a stall collecting money next to a sign reading My dog will eat your Homework!
Then he made the supreme mistake of ringing the front doorbell.
The door swung open to revile Dante's small twin dressed in one of his father's suits.
Charles had to assume it was his fathers because it was at least seven sizes to big for him.
"So we meet again Mr Bond" growled Vergil "For the last time, I'm afraid"
"No li'l boy" said Charles good naturedly "I'm the postman"
Vergil held up his hand to stop the guards firing their machine guns.
For some STRANGE reason Charles did not seem to acknowledge the inescapable danger he was in.
Vergil called for silence. "Let Mr Bond have his little jokes" he smirked.
"Can I see your mother?"
Vergil's face darkened "So you had to bring my mother into this? I was going to let you off with a caution but now your dead. Burn in hell!" Then he turned to an invisible character on his left .
"Relies the hounds"
He changed position in the door frame and was now a military leader .
"RELISE THE HOUNDS!" he roared and ran to the kitchen returning with a half grown Gladius running at his heels.
"Sic 'em!" said Vergil
Gladius ran at the fat little postman and bit into his ankle.
Charles threw what little dignity he had to the winds and with a screech like some form of school girl he fled hurling his mail sack on the ground.
Vergil inspected the mail bag with interest.
"Score!" he yelled. "The newest issue of "National Geographic"
Gladius barked proudly and the two bounded up the stairs and lay on the bed to read.(or in Gladius's case bark excitedly at the pictures.)
Dante came in with a full stomached Tenner and noticed the mail sack.
He dumped the contents on the floor, seized a package with his name on it
"Alriight!" he yelled "OPS2" he also returned to his bedroom his dog at his heels.
A moment later Sparda entered the hall, picked up the massive pile of post and began to riffle through it.
In the kitchen he announced "Bill, bill, bill, bill trash, bill, bill…."
"What?" said Eva who was drinking her early morning coffee .
"Loads 'o bills" said Sparda
"Look, twenty four electricity bills, nineteen over due book notices and sixteen different parcels of various description. Plus one "I love my Wife Magazine" and three Play Dude magazines- wait what did I just say?
"I love my wife? Bor-ing.
He carefully stashed the Play Dude magazines up his shirt for safe keeping.
They soon found out what had happened. It did however take most of the morning to sort out the mail and deliver it to it's respective owners.
When they had finally finished they proceeded to open their own letters.
"Oh look" Eva said to Dante who was eating his Frosties while attempting to stare down Tony
"You have your monthly check up with Doctor Caverty"
"What?"
"Your dentists appoint-"
"No, no, no, no, NO!" screamed Dante "Do'wanna go, do'wanna go DO WANNA-"
"Come on Dante ya big chicken." said Vergil scared of a doctor are you?"
"Well at least one of my boys is brave and knows how to behave" said Eva "but you're not going to the doctor your-"
"Notgoin notgoin notgoin!" howled Dante
"I must argue!" shouted Vergil clutching the banisters as his parents attempted to prize him off it.
"I also do not wish to-"
"Do' wanna, do' wanna do' wanna"
The two boys sat in huffy silence in the back seat of the car.
"Cheer up you two it's only for an hour" said Sparda. "If your good we'll bring you to Mc Donald's on the way home."
"No fair" grumbled Dante "I LIKE Mc Donald's"
"Do you have an appointment?" said the lady behind the desk.
"Yeh" said Vergil
"And you got one too: IN HELL" spat Dante
"Aaaaaaaaaaw isn't he sweet?" said the assistant coldly "Go into the waiting room, top left"
"Thank you" said Eva
They entered into the room.
It was what you'd expect old uncomfortable chairs, old magazine's and dirty babyish broken toys.
Vergil sat down and read some back issue's of national geographic.
Dante reached towards the old toys with a bored expression.
There was silence as the family waited. Then there was a tinkley little tune a boing and then a "Boing" and Dante collapsed on the floor shrieking with laughter.
"TryHaHA HAT-T-T-TRY T-THAT!" he said waving a hand at a jack in the box.
"Hmmm" said Sparda winding the handle and then snorting with laughter .
"Man this place is Great!" said Dante I'm glad that we're here-"
"Dante and Vergil Sparda?" said an assistant.
"Nooooooooooooooo!" he howled "Craaaap"
They were dragged into the surgery.
Vergil was held to the chair first and had his check up.
Dante explored around for a while.
Then he found the drills
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh"
howled Dante as Vergil got off the chair.
"He's trying to kill me"
He gestured at the Dr.
"Mum, Dad save me" he screamed
They moved towards him and grabbed his arm.
"Vergil? Help?"
"It's really not that bad, Dante" said Vergil
"Oh GOD! You've become one of them! What have you done to my brothers you cow!" he lashed out kicking the dentist.
"Mind control devices? Hypnosis? Torture"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
He was held down in the chair .
"Open your mouth" said the doctor.
Dante did so grudgingly
The dentist put a gloved finger into Dante's mouth.
Dante bit down hard.
The dentist's finger bled even through the glove.
"Quick Mom Dad run while we have the chance."
His parents did not move.
"Damn you, you evil TWAT! You've taken them all! How many other happy families have you ruined?"
"Dante sit still" said Eva "Our minds haven't been taken over."
"He'll need to have that one out" said the doctor.
Dante waited while the dentist prepared an injection. Then he approached.
"What's that?" spat Dante "A mind control chip
implanter?"
"Anaesthetic" said the dentist.
"Ha! Yeh I'll believe that!"
He stuck it in his mouth and injected.
It tasted disgusting.
"Yeh I'm too smart for mind control, so yer gonna kill me with poison."
"I shall have my revenge for my family, Hee-YAH!" he pulled his hand out of his mothers grip. At the same time as the dentists gripped the tooth he snatched the injection gun and jabbed it in the dentists rear-end.
He stud up with a yelp and Dante's tooth came with it.
"Wow said Dante proudly "I saved you all, yeh you all owe me a great service"
"Mom since I was good can we go to Mc Donald's?" said Vergil.
"Oh all Right" said Eva and the car spun round and roared through the traffic lights and into the sunset