Disclaimer: I Do not Own Harry Potter or any of the below Original Quotations.
So, here is the Fourth Installment of the Quotes & Quips Fanfic, do you like how it was going?
Because you are going to LOVE THIS. Enjoy!
~*Chapter 4*~
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"If you're from Africa, why are you white?"
- Mean girls
.
POTTERFIED:
"If you're Magical…why don't you sparkle?"
The curious question was to be the direct cause of the Death of Dudley Dursley…
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"You'll poke your eye out!"
- A Christmas Story
.
POTTERFIED:
"You'll poke your eye out if you don't stop waving that wand about, Mr Finnegan!" cried Professor Flitwick, the tiny charms Professor, in alarm. Dashing over to confiscate the item before anything exploded…
"It is a wonder you ever got your wand at all, Seamus. I can assure you… there will never be a need for such grandiose wand-waving and explosive Pyrotechnics…not at this school! Should that day come… I shall-… I shall eat my own wand!" he steadfastly declared to the entire class, even though a flushing Seamus Finnegan dipped his head in embarrassment.
~*~)0(~*~
As the battle raged on about them, slowly ebbing into obscurity amidst the moans and cries of the injured and dying… the dark supporters slowly turned tail, one by one, and ran before they were dragged away by the Ministry-loyal Dementors, to Azkaban –the place of nightmares and despair.
Rubble was marked and twisted with curse burns, dark black and star-shaped, that showed where someone had narrowly missed losing a limb, or their life… and then there was the fine granules of dust that gently floated down onto just about anything and anyone who stood still long enough… There had been, all through the fierce battle, the sound and awe-inspiring sight of explosions… sending many a Death Eater, Werewolf and Giant skywards…
Flitwick fervently prayed that the student in question who was most likely directly responsible for the deadly light show had forgotten in the interim of…all…those…year…
He turned about to the sound of a clearing throat, only to come face-to-kneecaps with Seamus Finnegan, who was looking down with a broad grin, brandishing something… it was brought closer as a cheery voice chirped, "Oh Professor…would you like tomato sauce with that?"
To Hex, or Not to Hex a Student…?
That was the Question.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"One Ring To Rule Them All!"
-Lord of the Rings
.
POTTERFIED:
"One King to Catch the Quaffle! Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeah!" the Crowd erupted as Ron dived left in front of the third goalpost and saved yet *another* goal, Slytherins hissed and booed, but the Gryffindors were ecstatic.
A rousing Chorus of 'Weasley is Our King' broke out… no one sang louder than Hermione, who could not –no matter how illogical it seemed to be fixated on one player in a game with over a dozen others – tear her eyes away from the Keeper…
Likewise, Harry sang along heartily from where he sat on his broomstick, occasionally forgetting to chase the Snitch as he ogled the Keeper, he caught Hermione's eyes from where she stood applauding still, in the stands… and winked.
Sure, Gryffindor may appreciate his Keeping Skills, but as far as they were concerned, Ronald Weasley was THEIR King, and they would show him just how 'courteous' they could be to 'royalty' later that night…
She blew the pair a kiss, Harry smiling… and Ron, like the Keeper he was, catching it with perfect precision.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
" Knock knock knock "Penny",
Knock knock knock "Penny",
Knock knock knock "Penny" "
- The Big Bang Theory
.
POTTERFIED:
Knock knock knock "Hermione",
Knock knock knock "Hermione",
Knock knock knock "Hermione"
Knock Knock Kn-
"WHAT?" yelled an exasperated, frazzled-looking Hermione Granger, whisking open the door so hard Harry nearly fell through the doorway and onto the carpet within… "Oh, uh… I forgot. Anyway, goodnight!" he pecked her on the cheek and bounded away like the energiser bunny after a dozen straight cups of caffeine…
She ground her teeth and turned around, noting the emptied bottle of liquid luck that had fallen from his shirt in the conflict… she bent down to retrieve it and let out a shriek of triumph –immediately waking everyone else in her Dormitory, who had somehow remained oblivious to the knocking episode.
"THERE IT IS!" she crowed and snatched up the Transfiguration Assignment ("Metamorphology, Animagi and Skinwalkers, Lunar Limitations and Laws Regarding through the Ages") she had misplaced the day before and had been steadfastly turning the room upside down to find…
Suddenly, she wasn't quite so angry…in fact, she flung open the door a second time to find Harry standing there with a silly grin on his face, and threw herself into him…kissing the Chosen One so hard they toppled to the floor amidst a chorus of 'Awwww!'s and someone calling out, "Get a Room you two!"
To which some other witty creature replied, "Just not this one, we're trying to sleep!"
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ORIGINAL QUOTE:
Aggressive, tough and defiant may describe me, but that leaves the impression I'm mean and I'm not. People expect me to have fangs.
–Joan Jett
.
POTTERFIED:
Weak, Nerdy and Useless may have described me in the past, but that leaves the impression I'm incapable of doing anything right… and to be honest, at the time it was true. Or maybe it was that no one ever gave me the chance to prove otherwise. But now…?
Now I'm a Hero…and all it took was a little Magic Trick, pulling a Sword out of a Hat, as it were.
-Neville Longbottom, grinning at the witty anecdote.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
I don't know if I miss it per se, but I do miss the fact that there just doesn't seem to be any rock 'n' roll out there anyplace. Everything does seem kind of tame. It's even hard in Manhattan to go out and find a good band to go see.
-Joan Jett
.
POTTERFIED:
Excerpt from "Where are they Now?" article in The Daily Prophet, ten years on:
'Mr Potter was quoted as saying in an interview with myself, Rita Skeeter, that life is not as much fun without the Dark Lord trying to kill him daily. As shown below in the following quote:
"I don't know if I miss it per se, but I do miss the fact that there just doesn't seem to be quite as much going on in life now that Voldemort's gone. Everything does seem kind of tame. Once or twice Ron, Hermione and I have followed people who looked like him, just on the off-chance it lead to some sort of adventure… it usually doesn't, but the one time we tailed Kinglsey Shacklebolt [Minister of Magic] for a laugh, he had his Body Guards/Aurors pick us up…"
Mr Potter is still quite the famous nuisance even after all these years, it seems. This is Rita Skeeta reporting.'
There was a momentary pause, before the explosion…
"That absolute, complete, utter, stuck-up, snobby cow…she is such a-… such a…WITCH! And it's all wrong! I mean, they were picking us all up for a surprise party… How did she even GET THIS?" Harry yelled at the top of his voice.
Leaving Ron to duck as a teacup left the tablecloth and threw itself at the wall, in the exact spot where his head had been seconds before, seemingly of it's own volition…
"Steady On Mate!" he yelled back, "She did it to all of us… Hermione's a 'Drunken, silly little thing with no ambition other than furthering the Weasley line', apparently and I'm…well, that's not very nice…" he mumbled.
Harry snatched the paper back, read the particular 'quote' from Ron and burst out laughing, "Oh my- 'Draco Malfoy's Secret Sex Toy Boy, Mr Weasley is all muscles and no brains… but this is widely accepted, as he was one of the so-called Golden Trio who apparently 'saved' the world from Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters.' Apparently my ass!" Harry raged a little.
Ron frowned deeply, "If I ever find her, I am going to shove that Quick Quotes Quill of hers right up her a-…"
"Oh wait, look at this, 'Tomorrow: Lord Voldemort, Villain or simply mis-understood Orphan with Powers Dumbledore Envied?'" Harry's eyes bugged out on stalks at that, "Whoa…if she survives publishing that article…I'll kill her for you. But…where exactly did she get all these 'quotes' from? I know I had an interview the other day, but it wasn't with her at all, some new kid who was clearly into hero worship as he wouldn't stop offering to uh, actually let's not talk of this again."
Ron nudged him, "Wanted to 'Polish your wand' for you, did he? Ha Hah! Oh, that is hilarious, how did Ginny take it…and is he still alive or in a coma?" Ginny was a *little* possessive when it came to Harry. Said obsession of his little sister's flushed scarlett, "I, uh…haven't told her yet… he looked like such a nice kid, and he was so *young* I just couldn't condone that kind of torture… anyway, how on earth could she have gotten, well, *THAT*?"
"So, um, Ron…what's this about Draco…?" he couldn't resist asking after a pause. The Weasley flushed as scarlet as his hair, "Oh, uh… well, in my interview he was quite… enthusiastic and a lot of fun. Although he didn't promise to 'Polish my Wand' as it were, he did infer we could get up to some 'Magic Tricks' with our Broomsticks in the Bathroom if we felt like it… I turned him down, he took it well, I thought. Then of course he blindsides me with the question, "Who would you turn gay for, Mr Weasley?" and I spluttered for a second before answering with you –Harry- of course, maybe Neville and, uh…well, I put it 'If Draco Malfoy ever asks, I wouldn't say 'No''…"
At this point, Harry was holding onto a chair to keep himself upright, laughing so hard his face and ears were pink, before sobering up. "N- Neville? R-really…? Well I suppose he has a nice a-…"
There was a loud, musical CLINK, and they both turned swiftly to find Hermione shaking a small, black beetle inside a glass jar; with a smile like a cat who had just found an Olympic swimming pool full of cream, she said, "Oh…I think I have a fair idea on how our 'quotes' in that 'exclusive interview' that we were never party to, were gotten, wouldn't you concur… Ms Skeeta?"
Harry wasn't sure if bugs could swear… the animagus journalist was certainly trying her best…
With a coy look, Hermione gave the boys a glance that said she knew everything and sauntered from the room with a, "Why don't you tell Ron how YOU answered Who you Would Turn Gay For, Harry…? You know, apart from him…" and she was gone.
Sometimes he wondered if she was psychic…or simply Superman, but he suspected Ron would have worked out the latter… on their Honeymoon. He turned to find said Red-head watching expectantly, "You chose me, yeah? AND…? C'mon Harry, I told you who I would… go on!"
Adopting a serious expression, Harry responded, "Oh, You of course, but Draco too… Definitely Draco…"
And they both stood there, nodding seriously…until Hermione's high squeal of laughter at their sombre expressions forced them to burst out laughing.
…They never did find the body of the Interviewer, and Ginny isn't telling.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"If it prove so, then loving goes by haps
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps."
.
POTTERFIED:
If it prove so, then the readers do wince,
As Lily clings to the Potter, and not the Half-blood Prince.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"I'm a Goofy Goober, Yeah! You're a Goofy Goober, Yeah!"
-Spongebob
.
POTTERFIED:
"I'm a Weasley, Yeah…I'm fully aware of that guys… but you're both Weasleys too, Yeah… mum said so… She made you a jumper after all. Now…about her wanting to dye your hair Red…"
-Ron Weasley, to Harry & Hermione
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"I can't carry it, but I can carry you!"
-Samwise Gamgee, from LOTR
.
POTTERFIED:
Snape dashed headlong into the night and snatched at the terrified pale boy before him, his hand snagged the coat and he disapperated them away from the school grounds, Potter cursing his name to the skies…
As soon as they apparated in a small, unknown location…well, unknown to the reeling figure of Draco that he put out both hands to steady; side-along apparition was never enjoyable at the best of times, and this certainly hadn't been prepared for…
It just so happened to be his secret home away from Hogwarts, and no student had ever dared set foot here before, he questioned his sanity for bringing the boy here, but one glance at the shaken, pale and shaking Malfoy…and he knew. Now, Severus Snape was not exactly known for his gentle caring ways, and was rather hesitant to say anything that could misconstrued as cold or uncaring, he didn't want the boy to cry because he certainly couldn't handle that at the moment…
Not with the gravity of what he had just done settling in.
Failing to find another way around the situation, Snape reached out and generally shook the boy by the shoulders, forcing those piercing eyes to snap onto his own… a quiet voice said, "Prof- Professor? I'm…I'm so sorry, it was my task-…I was supposed to… but I couldn't… Dumbledore even made it easy but I couldn't… and now Voldemort is going to be so mad, he'll hurt everyone! I'll tell him it was all my fault so he won't be angry with you, promise."
It was then, with a sadness in his heart, that Snape realised exactly what he faced here… Draco was nothing more than a small boy who had been forced to grow up too fast on a steady diet of hatred and neglect… This task had nearly destroyed the boy.
He pushed gently, Draco stumbled and fell back into the solitary armchair in the room… Snape knelt down to look directly into those sad, confused eyes that seemed so lost. "Draco, you could not kill Professor Dumbledore, So I killed him for you…" the scars of the Unbreakable Vow on his hand glowed a moment…and then faded away… "and I do not regret doing so. True, the Dark Lord will be angry that you failed, but I shall tell him the truth, that Dumbledore was using his strange abilities to disarm you… He will believe my word over the Carrows' or indeed, even Bellatrix, for she is quite mad and many things she says make little sense."
He stood, feeling watched and let out a wry smile, "I do believe we are about to have company…" and sure enough, Narcissa Malfoy, Bellatrix Lestrange and Lord Voldemort burst into the room over-dramatically. Narcissa throwing herself at her son without a second's hesitation, Bellatrix dancing about in her own world and Voldemort staring at him with something between anger and pleasure…
"Severus…" he rasped, "Would you care to explain why it is you killed Dumbledore…? I do believe I asked the young Draco to do so…" there was a sweeping gesture at the limp boy having his ribs crushed by his mother. Snape cleared his throat and replied, "It appears that Professor Dumbledore Confounded the poor boy, it turns out he was not indeed willing to die for his students but rather to use them as a shield… How very… Disappointing."
Voldemort nodded, seeming to consider this before saying, "Then come, we must celebrate this victory… now Potter is unguarded in that silly little school, we shall strike when he is weakest… at that house of…" Voldemort shuddered, "…Muggles." He spat with distaste.
Snape bowed slightly, almost impudently in the guise of formality, and said, "As you wish, my Lord." Then turned and picked up the now-sleeping form of Draco, Narcissa hurrying along beside and Bellatrix now singing about Dumbledore Pizza…probably the pavement kind, and followed Voldemort back to Malfoy Manor as he disapperated.
One Promise kept… One Child Saved… One More to Go.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"Well, this sucks, now there's two of you!"
- Jenny, TRLOAAT
.
POTTERFIED:
"Well, that's just weird, now there's seven of us! Uh…you…"
Ron was completely stumped for a quip about the situation… Harry slapped his hand away from the waistband as Ron went to have a 'comparative look'… sighing slightly inside, but freezing in horror as he heard Hermione-Harry giggle and whisper, "So…NOT the Greatest Wizard of them All…"
He nearly died on the spot, but then grinned and threw back, "That's not what Draco says…"
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
Apollo: 'Grass breaks through the snow.
Artemis pleads for my help.
I am so cool'
Artemis: 'The last line only had four syllables. What about I am so big-headed?'
Apollo: 'No, that's six...I got it! I am so awesome!'
- Artemis and Apollo, Percy Jackson
.
POTTERFIED:
Draco: 'Gave Peeves an Eyeful.
Potter pleads for my touches.
I am so Hot!'
Pansy (snorts): 'The last line only had four syllables. What about 'I've a massive ego'?'
Draco: 'No, that's six...I got it! I'd tap that fine ass!'
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
Buzz Lightyear: I believe the word you're searching for is "Space-Ranger".
Woody: The word I'm searching for, I can't say it because there's preschool toys present…
-Toy Story
.
POTTERFIED:
Draco Malfoy: I believe the words you're searching for is "Pureblood Stud" and "Thank You For Last Night".
Harry (Narrows Eyes): And *I* believe the words I'm searching for, can't be said because there's First Years present…
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"Tattoos and a switchblade attitude,
Snake bite heat with a bubble gum smile"
-All Time Low
.
POTTERFIED:
"Frizzy Hair and a brilliant mind,
All the loyalty and bravery of a Gryffindor,
With the sheer intelligent wit of a Ravenclaw.
An Absolute Pleasure to Teach."
-McGonagall, on a school performance letter about Miss Hermione Granger
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"Whatever you do in life will be
insignificant but it is very
important that you do it because...
You can't know...
You can't ever really know the
meaning of your life...
And you don't need to...
Just know that your life has a meaning...
Every life has a meaning... whether
it lasts one hundred years or one
hundred seconds...
Every life... And every death... changes the
world in its own way...
Ghandi knew this. He knew his life
would mean something to someone,
somewhere, somehow. And he knew
with as much certainty that he
could never know that meaning...
He understood that enjoying life
should be of much greater concern
then understanding it.
And so do I.
You can't know...
So don't take it for granted...
But don't take it too seriously...
*Don't postpone what you want...
*Don't leave anything misunderstood...
*Make sure the people you care about know...
Make sure they know how you really feel...
Because just like that...
IT COULD END"
-Remember Me
.
POTTERFIED:
"Whatever you do in life will be
So very important, Harry.
I know it seems unfair to have such a burden pushed upon you but…
This is your Destiny...
You can't ever really know the
meaning of your life...
And you don't need to...
Just know that your life has brought hope to so many who had lost it...
That you survived death as a child, an infant, in the face of such evil...
Every life... And every death... changes the
world in its own way...
Your Mother knew this, as did your Father. He knew his life
Was a sacrifice he was willing to make to protect you,
Your mother felt the same way. And he knew the why, she knew too…it was you, Harry.
You were the reason, your life meant more than their own… and this is what has saved you from death.
Anything and everything you do in this life, will be important…you will always be watched and those around you will naturally see you as a leader...
Never be afraid to ask me for help...
But never forget to be a CHILD...saving the world can wait until you are older.
*Do whatever you need to, I shall support you. It is your life too, despite what the world will think of you…
*Find some friends to hold fast to in the Darkest of times, I feel one of them will light the way for you… Find those who love you for you, and not what you have done…
*Make sure they know how it is you see them… never push away those you love in fear, dear child. That is the worst mistake you can ever make… Make sure they know how you really feel...
Ah, but if only you were old enough to understand my words, little Harry…"
Dumbledore whispered to the gurgling baby in his arms, so small and yet the scar on his forehead foretold his future was to be full of tribulation and triumph… and he would make sure the child was prepared… but for now…
With a heavy heart, the Headmaster of Hogwarts placed the infant on the Doorstep of his only living Blood Relatives… and walked away.
Someday soon…he would see the child again.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
'Stand up for what you believe in, even if you're standing alone.'
.
POTTERFIED:
'Stand up for what you believe in, Harry, and you will never stand alone...' Hermione whispered in his ear, clutching one of his hands, Ron on the other side, did the same… "Yeah mate, if you ever need a hand, look for us… we'll be there. We're behind you all the way…even if you are being a bit of a tosser…"
That should have ruined the moment, but as the three of them felt the solemn mood dissolve into giggles it felt…right, somehow. Warmer.
The world was Wrong… Family was what you made it, they were his… and he couldn't think of anything better.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
'When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long.'
.
POTTERFIED:
'When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long and you will find the strength to go on…' whispered the voice in his mind as consciousness flooded back, he shoved off the ground wincing as everything started to ache…
Pushing himself upright using a collapsed column, Neville took a shuffling step…biting back a cry and forging on, the others needed him and he would not fail them…
He wouldn't… couldn't…
His eyes spied something tattered and lying on its side in the rubble, upon closer inspection he recognised the Hat whom he had argued vehemently about being a Hufflepuff… before it had thrown him into Gryffindor with a whispered, "You'll see…" the eerie cackle that had followed played in his head even now.
"So…" it smiled –if hats could indeed smile- "It seems the time has come… you were always a Gryffindor, Mr Longbottom, and now you will prove my prophecy true… It has always been inside you…"
He picked up the Sorting Hat…and felt something odd, something familiar… something metallic that begged his hand to close around it's hilt…
A grin lit up his features as he heard Voldemort call out from the courtyard just across the way, inviting volunteers…
With a soundless laugh he turned and shuffled towards them, much to the incredulity of his classmates… 'Well,' he thought, closing his hand around the hilt as he neared the snake, 'Let's see how they feel about this then…'
And with a cry, he loosed the Sword and proved to all…he was a True Gryffindor. His laughter mingled with the dying screams of the Dark Lord… and it felt, GOOD.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTES:
'Heroes get remembered, but legends never die'
.
POTTERFIED:
As he rested under the tree by the Lake, during School recess, George found himself staring at the mirror-like surface of the Lake and regretting that his reflection would never be the same as staring into his twin's eyes…
To have a living mirror was… it was indescribable, and to loose such a thing was heart rending… even now he felt pain when he thought upon the schism between them, like a Veil. Separating the live and dead parts of the Weasley Twins…
Of course, it could be due to the fact they had just had a Remembrance Ceremony for the fallen of Hogwarts… and, as one of the so-caled 'Heroes' of the day, he had had to show up and skulk about…strangely phobic of all the attention. It just…didn't feel right being on his own, but Angelina helped…
He saw former classmates there, and many faces he knew from his pranking… many of the older students ran when he appeared as they remembered his fondness for using them as Skiiving Snackbox testers, back in the day… Wow, some of those First Years had gotten big!
Feeling strangely reminiscent, he had wandered to the Great Lake on a whim, watching them al passing by… the Giant Squid came up to see him at one point, obviously remembering how he and Fred used to tickle him with Lee Jordan… and he was only to happy to oblige. There was nothing funnier than a Squid laughing… except maybe… the expression on Umbridge's face if you mentioned Centaurs…
Ah well… He leant back against the tree, watching the clouds swirl about above, clouding over a magnificent day with the perfect symbolism to his mood, where light was going sour and giving way to the darkness…
Until he heard a group of tittering students pass by in a clump, hushed whispers were loud enough for him to catch the key phrases like, 'fireworks', 'explosions' and 'Umbridge nearly wet herself!' at which point he realised what they were talking about and said, "Howdy there…" and laughed as they jumped.
Five minutes later, he found himself surrounded by a group of awestruck students of all Years and Houses, recounting many a tale of how he and Fred had gotten around teachers, upset Filch, made McGonagall chase them with her broomstick through the Great Hall and even that one time Peeves had congratulated them on their destructive prowess…
The Poltergeist had wiped an ectoplasmic tear away as he said he had never been so proud in his unlife, and had NEVER before had such promising students…
The then the school-bell rang loudly, though the students seemed reluctant to walk away when there were many other stories he could impart… he heard them whispering the tales back and forth on the way into the school… As if trying to commit them to memory…
George let out a laugh, somewhere between joy and strangled sob… he turned to address the Weasley Twin in the Lake… Score for us, Fred… So what if only Heroes get remembered, sometimes even get a pretty statue… but legends like us never die, Fred. I have a feeling our exploits will be passed down for generations…"
Then ruined the profound moment by letting out a girlish squeak as 'Harvey' (as they had called him in First Year) the Giant Squid snaked out a tentacle and tugged him into the Lake…
He came up spluttering and laughing, Harvey was nearly as bad as Fred. An outrageous idea struck him, "Hey Harvey… how does being painted red sound to you…?" Well, he took the silence as assent… but was tackling one major question…
How would he explain to his mother…? And exactly how was he going to fit Harvey into the bathtub?
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"I remember watching a romance movie when I got home from the hospital and I cried at the end...only because my IQ had dropped into single digits."
.
POTTERFIED:
"Well when you two left me alone in the Hospital Wing after Sirius bit me… I remember that Draco dragged in Crabbe and Goyle, idiots were somehow stuck together… With what and how, I didn't want to know, but they were all Glittery, like they were wearing fairy dust or something…
So, I was watching the pair of them try to explain what had happened…something about a costume party. They had this book see, with some chick holding an apple on it, so -when Madam Pomfrey was tutting at them, I kind of Accio'd it in my direction… Suddenly it all made sense...this mad Muggle had written-… and-…sparkling Vampires… it was full-on mental!" Ron gasped, to the consoling Harry and Hermione, "And I laughed so hard I ended up tearing up, because they'd covered themselves in glue and rolled in the floor, trying to be vampires or something mental like that. Bloody Hell, I knew they were thick but-…well, that's even surpassed their previous level of stupidity!
Then, out of nowhere, I start really crying because I just realised that, in reading that stupid book, my IQ had dropped into single digits… If I ever find this 'Meyer' chick…I WILL Kill her for that…"
His friends were silent, then leapt forwards and hugged him.
Harry patted his back, "It's all right Ron, it's over now, that nasty book can't hurt you anymore…" and Hermione was strangling him a little and saying how brave he was to have survived, it was all very surreal…
Then she piped up with, "So…what happened to the Book?"
Ron blinked, then grinned… "It's a safe bet that Draco has it…" Their expressions asked HOW on EARTH he could possibly know that… and he beamed even wider, "He's on top of the Astronomy Tower, howling at the moon…" The pair burst out laughing.
Alright, so he'd not been quite truthful in that statement…Draco was actually on the Ravenclaw Tower, howling at the moon… but he wasn't exactly going to tell them the best bit until later. He couldn't wait to see how dangerously homicidal those braniacs got when they were sleep deprived…
Something told him to wear armour to Breakfast… or he might find a quill embedded in his back…
Harry and Hermione stood there at the edge of the Common Room couch with puzzled expressions on their faces as Ron started to laugh until he cried… then looked to one another, shrugged, and went to go see Draco for themselves.
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
"Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity but I am not too sure about the first"
-Einstein
.
POTTERFIED:
Two things are dead certainties at Hogwarts: Slytherin thinks they're in charge… and there will always be at least one Weasley enrolled here…but the first law was obviously written by a Madman…or a Slytherin. Is there a difference?
~)0(~
ORIGINAL QUOTE:
'Oh My God, that was the ugliest effing skirt I've ever seen'
- Regina George, Mean Girls
.
POTTERFIED:
'Oh My God, that was the ugliest effing set of earrings I've ever seen! I mean, RADDISHES? Come on people, this isn't a mental hospital for whackos! And WHAT was up with that NECKLACE? How did she even get a Wand, I mean GOSH, there is something wrong with her-…" There was a tap on her shoulder, it was Luna Lovegood standing behind/clinging to, Neville Longbottom. "What do you want?" Pansy Parkinson's voice went slightly flirty and she winked at the stony-faced hunk.
Neville looked quite grave as he raised an arm, "Normally I don't hit girls…but you're more of a bitch…" Pansy soared across the room to land at the feet of a red-headed girl whom she immediately realised was a murderous looking Ginny Weasley, "We warned you to leave Luna alone," she said, "But it seems you need to learn it the hard way…"
Her knuckles cracked eerily…
Suddenly, alone without her gaggle of attentive Slytherins who had run for Snape, she found she really rather liked the Radish earrings…and the necklace was kind of charming in a weird, weird way…
Too bad she couldn't have said so beforehand…
~*~)0(~*~
Snape bustled up the corridor with black robes billowing, the worried group of Slytherin females behind him; it was concerning to find the entire corridor devoid of life. Though it was obvious the girls were not lying –NOBODY EVER was stupid enough to lie to him- but it was concerningly vexing to not be able to see Miss Parkinson anywhere…
He was already calculating how many points he would take from Gryffindor for this… and maybe Ravenclaw too, Miss Lovegood didn't seem to have stopped anything…
There was a cheer as the clock struck four outside and a muffled scream… he raced outside… to stop dead still in surprise… Miss Parkinson was tied to the Hour Hand of the school clock, with –of all things- a radish shoved in her mouth.
Maybe he would let her down in a few hours… he wondered if those knots were strong enough to hold her in place when the clock struck six…
Only TIME…would Tell.
~)0(~
TBC...?
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~*SailorSilvanesti/Phoenix Fire*~ ^_-