Disclaimer: I own nothing to do with FFVIII, the characters or the lyrics used here from the song "Someday" by Nickleback.

Clinging to Memories

Chapter 4

By: Jayliyah85

He leaned against the wall, arms crossed. His pose suggested that he was in deep thought, and his furrowed brows displayed his uncertainty of what was to happen next. Was he doing the right thing?

There was still that nagging doubt within him about going to see her, wherever she was at this moment. Although his talk with Irvine helped put his mind into perspective about what he should do regarding his and Rinoa's relationship, he still couldn't help feeling that all of this was his fault for neglecting her in the first place. He already knew this, but couldn't seem to wrap his mind around it.

What if she never wanted to reconcile? He didn't know if that possibility was even an option at this point, but perhaps, that could be why he remained rooted to the spot instead of marching out the door with confidence like it was instilled into his bones. Squall sighed.

But he had to take that risk, because above everything else, she was the only one who gave him comfort just with her presence and had a knack for brightening up his days. He vowed to make up for his mistakes one way or another. Squall Leonhart could never be whole without her.

Once again, he was brooding too much. A trait that Rinoa usually ended up teasing him about just to see his reaction. Almost right this second, he could just imagine her, hands placed on her hips, a pout marring her cute, delicate features. It reminded him of a time they spent together right there in his tiny living room a few weeks after the celebration; a time when both of them were beginning to relish the unsteady but genuine stirrings of romance…

"Squall! You're thinking too much again! I swear if I had a gil for every thought you've had in the last thirty minutes, I'd be richer than all you mercenaries put together."

The lone mercenary jerked his head in the direction of the fiery brunette, just now realizing that he was, well, off in his little world again and wasn't aware that he had been called for the past five minutes.

"Sorry," he muttered. "Old habits die hard."

Rinoa approached him to where he stood by his window, smiling as she stood in front of him. "But it's part of what makes you… you. Besides, you tend to look cute when you go into "pensive mode". She giggled when he rolled his eyes at that statement.

"Whatever." They said in unison. Her face crinkled up with laughter, her voice melodious and enchanting to his ears.

Squall found himself eventually smiling in return as he watched her in fascination. He'd never get tired of just gazing at her and more often than not, he wondered what it was about him that captured her interest.

He had no idea how long he gawked at her, but it didn't take a while for her to settle down and pick up on it.

She cocked her head to the side. "What?"

He shook his head. "It's nothing."

They just stood beside each other, basking in the heavenly glow of the twinkling stars in the vast night sky. It reminded Squall strongly of them at the balcony; an unforgettable moment forever engraved in his memory – where they first kissed.

"Squall?"

"Hm?"

She paused for a second. "Do you… think we could ever lead normal lives?"

He raised his eyebrows looking at her as if to encourage her to elaborate on her question.

"I mean, since I'm a sorceress and you being the commander of SeeD, what kind of future could we have? I guess I'm just a little unsure of what will happen with us…"

Squall hesitated at first. He could tell that this had been on her mind for some time, bothering her. He still was not quite used to comforting others, but this was Rinoa. He then gently took her small hands in his gloved ones and held them firmly.

"…I can't promise that it will get any easier for us, or that we won't face more problems. What I do know is… that I will be there with you and together, we'll figure it out."

Her lips curved into a sweet smile, her shining unshed tears an indicator of how moved she was. Without a word, she wrapped her arms around his neck tightly. He did the same, his resting behind her back. She pulled back a little to gaze into his eyes, and then leaned in to kiss him. The heat that he felt when her lips touched his, softly left a lasting imprint on him and he returned the action, almost savoring it.

Rinoa relinquished her grip on him and walked over to his bed. Squall followed only to see her in a laying position. Still smiling, she motioned for him to come beside her. After sitting on the bedspread, Rinoa cuddled up next to him, resting her head on his broad shoulder while he held her in his arms.

"Stay with me… always." She mumbled to him as she surrendered herself to the world of dreams.

Looking at her, his eyes softened and he smiled once more.

"I promise." He whispered. "Always… and forever."

A half-smile appeared on his face unknowingly. He had to hold true to that promise. Looks like it was either now or never. Well, what am I waiting for?

He was about to grab his Lionheart – a routine that became second nature – when a massive throbbing shot through his skull. He let out a slight groan massaging his temple. He wondered where it came from all of a sudden. It hit him again, this time with full force and even stronger. He staggered back, wincing and before he had time to do or say anything, the excruciation overwhelmed his mind and slumped to the floor, unconscious and appearing dead to the outside world.

It was too eerie to even think about or acknowledge, but it was laid out bare for them to see – unflinching and exposed to their disbelieving eyes.

Squall was lying facedown, not moving an inch.

The first to move was Quistis, as she dashed over to his side, her hands frantically checking for signs of life. A slight pulse could be felt from his wrist, but other than that, she couldn't discern what else was wrong.

She breathed a sigh of relief. "He's alive, but I can't tell what's wrong with him." This observation didn't do much to quell their fears though, as a small gasp escaped Selphie.

Irvine stepped to take a closer look and shook his head. "I don't get it! He was completely fine when I left a few minutes ago…. What could have happened?"

"We can worry about that later! We gotta get him to the infirmary now!" Zell shouted.

There was a sense of urgency among the group as they cooperated in moving him, careful not to damage him in any way; the guys' strained efforts could be heard while they carried the unconscious gunblader along the hallway, eventually reaching the entrance of the infirmary.

Quistis offered to get Dr. Kadowaki, being the most rational and calm out of the group, she could relay the facts in a competent manner. In the meantime, an unwelcome gloom had settled over the remaining three. Zell was pacing back and forth, in a restless frenzy while Selphie looked disheartened. Irvine just had a blank expression, his posture stiff. No one was certain of the outcome but they hoped with all their might that their friend would pull through.

Selphie sniffled. "Irvy… do you think he'll be okay?"

He glanced over, seeing her tear-stained face and sighed. "I really don't know, Sefie. All we can do right now is just wait and hope for the best."

Zell clenched his fists and groaned. "Man… why'd this have to happen? First Rinoa leaves and now Squall's in some frickin' coma! And there's nothin' we can do about it!"

"Oh, Rinny! She should know what happened… but how could we tell her?"

"Well, it's possible she's most likely in Timber. That's probably the next best place she'd turn to. Only problem is, we don't know exactly where or how to contact her." Irvine replied.

Silence prevailed for a few minutes, until it became broken by the reappearance of Quistis followed by the concerned doctor.

"Alright, from what Quistis has told me, it might not be very serious, however, I'm going to request that you all please wait outside so I can run some proper tests and make my diagnosis."

Everyone obliged and proceeded to the waiting area. Somehow the four of them each had their own sneaking suspicion that somehow, this was a bit deeper than how it seemed on the surface. If only they knew what….

After what felt like hours, when really it was only half an hour of suspense, Dr. Kadowaki emerged from the small room, a grim look being her expression.

She shook her head. "It baffles me… it's not too often I get a case like this. He seems to be breathing normally, his vital signs are stable, but he can't be roused from that state."

"So… it's not a coma?"

"Well, it's a bit similar to that condition but not definite. I'll just have to keep tabs on his progress. I can say that whatever is happening to him, it appears to be all in his mind and it's affecting him internally." Dr. Kadowaki explained, with a resigned sigh. "This is beyond my hands… all I can do is try to make him more comfortable and monitor his body until he comes out of this. I know you're all worried... I am too, but right now there's nothing else."

This can't be…. There must be something we haven't thought of yet, that we haven't tried….all in his….. mind? Wait a minute!

Quistis straightened up and spoke to the others with haste. "There's only one option left."

There was nothing but darkness.

Falling further and further down into the black abyss, with absolutely no sense of direction or time.

It was just endless, like being sucked into a warp that continued to loop without warning; a void that envelops a being and leaving them feeling empty without any light to guide their way.

What…. What is this?

There was also the feeling of….

Loneliness.

All alone, no help to turn to, just stuck in a never-ending hellhole with the shadows as its only companion.

He once experienced this before…. in time compression. He was in a state of complete helplessness and self-pity during that horrible time and didn't want to be reminded of that again.

He also remembered… when SHE found him, breathing life into him again with a simple loving gaze and that special touch. How he longed to see her beautiful smile again….to feel her against him once more.

Rinoa…wait for me.

With that fixed thought, he regained his balance, planted his boots on the ground and on impulse sprinted in front of him, searching for any way out. The sooner he left this wretched existence, the sooner he'd be reunited with the one he loved.

Soon, all his energy was used up and he sank to the ground on his knees in despair. He didn't want to give up but Squall had no idea as to what could have happened for him to end up here, or even to plot any means of escape.

He was known, praised even, for his tactical brilliance and sometimes brutal efficiency in defeating enemies without so much as batting an eyelash, but he couldn't even get out of this place. He let out a bitter laugh. Pathetic.

What he hadn't counted on, was a piercing light that suddenly shone in front of him. The effect was so blinding, it caused him to shield his eyes. Those same stormy eyes widened in disbelief as they noticed it took the shape of a door.

There was no other alternative. His mind was made up as he stepped cautiously through the door, unaware of what he'd encounter or had to deal with on the other side.

Time seemed to pass at a slow rate, and it only continued to drag once you're in crisis. No one was aware of it, but the stillness lingered among the occupants little by little crushing their optimism.

As Zell was never one for patience, he offered to go to the cafeteria to pick up some food for the group. Irvine joked that if he got hot dogs, there'd be none left for anyone by the time he got back. Unfortunately, it was a failed attempt to make Selphie laugh or even smile which in itself was very unusual. But so far, nothing worked that could alter her mood. Seeing his Sefie in a depressed state similar to the time of Trabia Garden's destruction was enough to sadden the cowboy. At that moment, he'd give anything to get his bright spark back.

He stood up and walked over to where she was sitting, kneeling down in front of her. Her eyes were red from crying, her worry lines visible.

"Hey… come on, Sefie. This isn't like you at all… you were always the most positive and optimistic of us all and right now… we kinda need some of that." He soothed, as he made one smooth motion to wipe her cheeks.

"I-I'm just w-worried about our friends… what if he never wakes up and Rinny never c-comes back…?" She blurted out, her green eyes focused on Irvine.

"That's why we just have to believe – that everything will work out okay. Remember?

For our friends' sake, let's try hoping for the best, huh?"

Selphie nodded, managing a weak smile. "You're right. I'll try….for them."

Irvine grinned and kissed her forehead. "That's the spirit."

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Thanks Irvine… I don't know what I'd do without you."

He just rubbed her back. "Darlin', your smile is all the thanks I need."

The two were so caught up in their tender moment, that when a subtle cough was heard, they jumped apart, startled.

An amused smirk on a blonde caught their attention. "Oh please, don't let me interrupt."

Normally, Irvine would have retorted back with some comment, but now wasn't the appropriate time.

"Anyways, you talked to Cid?"

Quistis nodded, turning serious once more. "We just have to wait. He hasn't-?"

Selphie and Irvine shook their heads.

"Hey guys! I'm baack!" Zell ran into the room, panting. "Whoo, I really needed that exercise."

Everyone looked at him with expectant expressions.

"Zell, where's the food?"

He stopped moving and grinned, scratching his head. "Uh… oh yeah, about that… um…."

He showed them the contents in the bag, or what was left of it. Two half-eaten hot dogs.

"Zell!" Selphie screamed at him, while the other two were looking downright murderous.

"I couldn't resist! They were looking so good and it was just calling to me. EAT ME, ZELL. EAAAAT MEEE… so I kinda did. Sorry guys."

Irvine tried to stifle his laughter but couldn't and ended up slapping the wall with his hand, bent over.

Soon after, Selphie joined in. She held her sides as she tried her hardest to contain but it was just too contagious. Quistis was the last to lose her composure as usual, but managed to remain upright, her hand covering her mouth.

Zell shrugged but nevertheless grinned. I guess I was good for the comic relief…

It seems that the happy moments never last, unfortunately.

Just then, they heard a rapid beeping coming from the machine in Squall's room, and some murmurs. Audible gasps could be heard. All that had exchanged between the group a few minutes ago was now forgotten.

They all packed at the doorway just in time to see Squall taking huge gulps of air, eyes squeezed tight, sweat already starting to form on his forehead. A slight jerk came from his legs.

"Dr. Kadowaki! Something's happening to Squall!"

The doctor snapped to action, strapping him with I.V. tubes then prepared a tranquilizer in case he got too out of control. As a last measure, she rushed to take his temperature, and then stepped back with an astonished look.

"He's burning up at an alarming rate!"

Irvine, Quistis, Zell and Selphie all had a look of panic, but were unable to tear their gazes from their friend, who seemed to be suffering on the inside somehow.

Squall then tightened his gloved fists, a look of complete horror and anguish formed on his facial appearance.

"NO! …not again…. Please…." whimpered the SeeD. His face then contorted into pain.

It was all too confusing… what exactly was happening to him!

"Rinoa..!" He cried out, turning his head from side to side.

The two girls shared an empathic glance, assuming he was calling out for her to be by his side.

He continued to mumble incoherent sayings under his breath, but it was apparent that whatever he was "seeing" it was too much for him.

"It's already happening… just as I feared…" A familiar, soft voice said from behind.

All the heads turned in one direction to see a striking woman donned in a dark grey dress, her long black hair flowing around her. Each step that she made exuded grace; if it were not for that maternal instinct she was known for, it would have possibly implied an air of superiority. To them, she was the woman who showed them unconditional love in their childhood, the ex-sorceress whom they battled with great reluctance and lastly, Cid's wife.

"My children, I came as soon as I heard. How long has he been like this?" Edea questioned when she approached the room.

"It just started happening, Matron. He wasn't moving before at all!" Selphie replied.

Edea surveyed each of their faces, noting the hopelessness and deep concern for one of their own. It also matched hers. She stepped closer to study Squall, who was still writhing on the bed. She closed her eyes to say a quick silent prayer and then stroked his chestnut hair, like a mother would to her child.

"You all know about the bond between a sorceress and knight, correct? It is the most important link that ties them together; call it a special connection of sorts that is rooted in emotions. I sense that somehow it has been severed. Can anyone tell me what happened?"

Irvine stood up. "Rinoa and Squall had a fight earlier today, Matron. He was really affected by it at first."

Edea nodded, her eyebrows creased together in thought. The pieces of the puzzle were now falling into place. Still, it didn't make the situation any easier.

"That must be it then. Somehow the bond they once shared is trying to restore that connection and it seems that Squall is reliving some past experiences in his mind…"

"Do you think Rinoa's doing this as some kind of payback or something?" Zell wondered.

Edea shook her head. "No… it's most likely that it's an unconscious action. She might also be involved, although I don't know how much." She heaved a sigh.

"But this isn't really bad, right Matron?" Selphie piped up. "He'll wake up soon and be his old self again, right?"

"Hopefully. Right now, we'll have to just stand by. Only Squall can come out of this. He's strong. I know he will find a way."

Various flowers were spread about the meadow, filling the earth with their freshly bloomed scent and colorful array. Pink petals were scattering the air, dancing about by the wind.

The gentle breeze tousled Squall's brown bangs as he stared in awe of his new location.

It looks just like… the flower field at the orphanage…

He had to be imagining things, right? But there was no other explanation for what was going on. Either that or he was beginning to lose his mind.

He walked through the field, unsure of why he was brought here but maybe with a bit of luck, he could finally get the answers he's been seeking.

Then he noticed something in front that made him stand still.

A white feather…

It was floating towards him, taunting him by just being out of reach. With one quick motion, he grabbed the feather and stared at it in his palm.

Squall then glanced up and his heart stopped.

Rinoa was standing a few yards away from him in the distance, her back turned to him so he could see the faint outline of the angel wings on her blue duster. Her dark hair was being blown about, as if it were fighting to overcome a battle with the wind.

A mixture of feelings went through Squall as he gaped at her. Is it really her?

Before he had time to ponder more about it, he broke into a frantic, effortless sprint towards her. His heartbeat quickened with each step. He had to find out for himself.

"Rinoa!"

She didn't even flinch, but remained still. He frowned a little. Didn't she hear him?

"…Rinoa?"

He slowed down as he stood just mere inches behind her. Anxiety was getting the best of him. Why isn't she answering?

He placed his hand on her shoulder with the intention to see her face, when he gasped at the burning sensation he felt from her skin. He instantly drew back, a painful expression forming on his features. What the hell!...

That same feeling prickled between his eyes this time. Squall gritted his teeth. It was almost like a red-hot poker stinging a wound over and over again. He raised his hand and realized it was his scar that hurt.

Squall looked up at Rinoa, trying to catch her attention. She kept fading in and out… he couldn't see her properly anymore. He squinted but the images just got hazier. Even the colors were just a blur. Blue, black, blue… until the last thing he saw before his eyes closed were white.

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Squall's body felt strangely numb… his movements were restricted somehow, but this lightweight feeling made it seem like he was floating.

He opened his eyes and saw with a shock that he was….looking into space; completely surrounded by stars in the far reaches of the galaxy. Squall was confused at this sudden turn of events and wondered for the hundredth time when he would escape this nightmare.

A barrage of images flooded through his mind. Most were quick flashes of Rinoa with different expressions – smiling, sad, angry, annoyed… unconscious. A vivid flashback was playing in his mind at that moment.

It was of her in a spacesuit, having trouble breathing and on the brink of death.

No….! Rinoa!

He saw her eyes flutter then…

"NO! Not again…. Please!"

She took one last deep breath then the smooth glass of the helmet shattered into pieces, her body drifted further away…

"Rinoa!"

No… it just couldn't be happening like this. To witness her almost dying a few months back was agony, it felt like a bomb had exploded in his heart until there was nothing left to salvage. But now… seeing her like that was enough to crush what was left of his spirit.

He was helpless… He couldn't stop it, couldn't do anything.

God… why am I even seeing this again?! Haven't we been through enough?!

This was just some sick, twisted illusion he got mixed up in. None of it was real. As long as he kept assuring himself of that fact, he could go on.

Someone must be doing this to him, to mess with his mind somehow. But who? And what was their motive?

Another flash of light hit his vision once more and he found himself being transported.

Once the whiteness cleared up, he realized he could move again. This time, he was in a familiar place. It was the pastel-colored walls that endured countless staring from the ailing students or probably that unmistakable scent that filled it.

Of course, it was the infirmary at Balamb Garden.

Squall didn't know whether to breathe in relief or to stay on his guard for anything out of the ordinary. A quick scan of the room told him everything seemed normal.

Something still seemed off though, there was a nagging feeling he couldn't get rid of. It felt like a force was pulling him into the tiny room located at the right. He treaded in there, dread starting to fill his mind and body.

A still figure lay there on the small cot, resting, a serene look on their expression. Squall shook, his fists clenched upon recognizing who it was.

There she was again; looking exactly like she did when she fell into a coma. For some unexplainable reason, he was being brought back to relive the traumatic experiences of the past. This specific one was a turning point for him.

He remembered how much he wanted to hear her voice… how much he wanted her to wake up and smile at him. She felt so… cold when he touched her. It was only too late that he realized how much of an impact she had on him.

Squall knelt down by the side of the bed, and studied her. He brushed away the strands of hair that covered part of her face. His eyes clouded over with tears as he took her hand in his.

"…I don't know if you can even hear me or maybe all this is some crazy dream, but no matter what happens, I'll never give up on you. Rinoa… I-I'm… sorry for what I said earlier. I was being stupid and not thinking about your feelings. God… if there was a way I could take back those words, I would."

He smoothed down his hair, not knowing what else to do. Why was it that he was more comfortable expressing his thoughts when she wasn't aware of it?

"Give me another chance…"

Squall lowered his head beside her and sighed, still holding her hand. He had to stay strong, for her sake. Defeat was not an option, not at this point.

It was then he anticipated another dizzying effect and he began to lose his bearings. Squall grunted in annoyance. Still grasping Rinoa's hand, he closed his eyes in concentration and tried with great effort to remember a good memory they shared.

He didn't know if it would work or if it would all be in vain but damn it, he'd change the circumstances.

It was hard not to succumb to the wooziness that now tried to take over but he was still focusing on his objective. When he had the distinct memory he wanted, he stopped struggling and let himself fade.

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The sounds of disjointed chords and muffled voices were the first things Squall heard as his surroundings began to come into focus. Bit by bit, the silhouettes that were flickering also became clear and soon enough, the entire room was brightened up with light decorations, the pleasant music and the cheerful chattering of people enjoying the festivities, dancing and eating.

Squall smiled. He never thought he'd ever be happy to see another social event but in this case, it was a special exception. As he glided his way through the crowd, he kept thinking that at least something finally went right.

He stopped outside the balcony where he saw his Rinoa leaning forward, gazing at the star-filled night sky in bliss, the wind lightly touching her silky locks.

He casually leaned against the side of the door, comfortable with just watching her. The corners of his mouth couldn't help but slightly turn up as he waited for what was to happen.

Right on cue, his past self nervously strolled up beside her, his hand resting on the railing. There was an amiable silence between the two for a while until she spoke up.

"I was wondering where you were." She said, with a slight tone of mischief.

"Well… I kinda had some… things to do…" Squall explained, shifting a bit.

"You mean, in other words, you were avoiding the celebration." Rinoa responded, grinning at him.

He just stared at her as if she read his mind then shrugged. "I….. whatever."

The present Squall had to chuckle at this. Actually, she did read my mind. It amazed me how well she knew me, even if it wasn't for long.

Rinoa laughed. "Yup, I knew it." She twirled her finger into his face. "You're not gonna escape from me so easily, Mister. I believe you owe me a dance." She winked at him.

Squall arched his eyebrow at her. "I'm guessing my last excuse won't work again this time?" His blue-gray eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Sorry, you're out of luck there."

After sharing a couple more laughs, the two once again settled into silence.

"It's really been a long day, hasn't it? But we all came back safe and it looks like everything's turning back to normal."

He nodded. "We should be working on cleaning up some of the mess from the Quad as well as restoring order to Garden soon."

Rinoa fidgeted with her rings. "So…now that Cid has made you officially Commander, what do you see happening with yourself?"

Squall shrugged. "Probably enough paperwork to last for a lifetime…" he grumbled.

He didn't notice she turned her head away from him. "Oh… anything else?"

He ran a hand through his hair. "Overseeing battle strategies, maybe funds for missions as well. I guess there are a lot of duties entailed." He sighed. "I didn't ask for this."

"I'm sure you'll do great. You can handle it, I know you can." Her voice had toned down a notch, but Squall was oblivious to that fact as he started to zone out again.

"I was… thinking of going to visit Timber sometime, check on the town… see how my friends are doing. I'm not too sure how long I'd spend down there."

A part of Squall's mind registered what she said and he looked up at her, trying his hardest to act nonchalant. "Oh… but, you're coming back, right?"

She linked her arms and held them. "Sure, but there'd probably be no room for me here. I'm not a SeeD and I wouldn't want to impose…"

"You wouldn't be. It's not any trouble." He interjected, a panicked look entered his eyes. "I'm pretty sure everyone would want you to stay."

Rinoa gave him a side-long glance, and then fixed her gaze upwards. "And… are you included in there too, Squall?" She wondered, a small smile starting to appear.

Just then, a shooting star made its way across the galaxy. Rinoa playfully reenacted the first time they met, by sticking her index finger in the air, a small grin formed from the corners of her mouth.

Squall turned to Rinoa after seeing it and his handsome face broke out into a wide smile. The first real one he'd ever shown to anyone. Caught up in the magic of the moment, he stepped closer to her and took her right hand, bringing it to his waist. He then proceeded to waste no time in pulling her even closer until he could see the astonishment in her brown eyes at his actions.

Their faces only inches apart from each other, Squall leaned down and gently brought his lips to hers. From the moment he tasted her lips for the first time, an inexplicable sensation had taken over him. Never in all his life did he believe he could experience something like this and feel… complete. His heartbeat was beating faster by the second and he held on to her tighter, the wondrous kiss didn't seem to end.

They pulled apart, gasping for air. He noticed a sparkle in her eyes that wasn't there before and he was glad he could make up for it. Squall stared straight into her eyes and finally found the courage he needed. He spoke quietly.

"Rinoa… I…… I want you to stay."

Her eyes shone brighter than before and she couldn't stop herself from grinning.

"That's all I ever wanted to hear from you." She whispered. Without a warning, she flung her arms around his neck and tip-toed to capture another sweet kiss. It soon turned passionate as the new lovers held on to each other for balance while exploring each other's mouths.

When they broke apart, they stood slightly dazed still fresh off that moment. Rinoa then grabbed his hand and led him inside the ballroom, grinning like an idiot. But Squall never minded.

Because he had the exact same look on his own face.

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After watching the memory fade, Squall shook his head. To say it was odd watching his past self do all that would be putting it mildly. It was like he became a spectator of his own movie and he just stood on the sidelines, taking it all in from a different point of view. I really haven't changed much from then, have I?

He didn't like to think so, but a small part of him disagreed.

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed?
And try turn the tables

He did come to a realization though. There was no doubt that they were happy back then. Just seeing that moment between them playing out like that was a big enough reminder of how much had changed. She was able to lift his spirits just by being there with him – something that he'd always treasured about her, but he let his work consume him and stopped giving her that chance. God, what the hell was wrong with him? It always seemed to be too late for him to understand how good he had it. Until he let it slip away from him.

Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright, but not right now
I know you're wondering when
(You're the only one who knows that)

Once again, Squall swore to himself that when he got out of here, things would change. He'd make things right between them just like they used to be. He only hoped she was willing to hear him out.

While he was still watching the happy couples dance, without warning he felt the ground shift beneath him. It was happening again, but this time he was caught off guard and didn't have time to counter it with any thoughts.

Damn it! He thought as the ballroom faded to black and he was left to ponder what would happen next.

The blackness that was in his line of view began to dissolve until he caught glimpses of numerous flashbacks all concerning Rinoa. Some of them appeared and vanished in the blink of an eye, but to Squall, some stood out more than the rest.

(flash)….Rinoa dragging Squall out on the dance floor at the SeeD Inauguration ball… her smiling at him, then walking away…..(flash)….Her running into his arms when he freed her from the Sorceress Memorial… (flash) Rinoa walking through the halls of Garden alone… (flash) She was sitting on the floor in her dorm…crying. (flash) The heart-wrenching look on Rinoa's face after their fight… (flash) Her boarding a train, a ticket to Timber firmly in her hand….

Squall grabbed his head and yelled in frustration, eyes shut. He was unwilling to see anymore… he just couldn't take it! Worse than the pain he already felt, it added on even more after seeing her in that state.

He dropped to the ground, his arms resting on his legs. He drew in deep breaths, trying to clear his mind and somehow concentrate on what to do next.

His ears perked up suddenly. He thought he heard a faint voice calling his name. Squall chuckled. Now he knew for sure that he was going insane. Great, now on top of everything else, I'm hearing voices.

The second time though, was more distinct and he was positive he heard it. However, it sounded a bit distorted. He jumped up and looked around.

"…Squall?"

It was Rinoa! He could never forget the sound of her voice, no matter how long it's been.

"Rinoa! Rinoa, can you hear me!"

"…I…. Squall…? What's going on…?"

Squall sighed in relief. "I'm not sure myself….

"Wait… I can… barely hear you…." She sounded more distant, like she was fading…

"Rin-!"

He didn't know what happened next, because the next thing he knew, he lost consciousness.

The atmosphere back in the infirmary hadn't changed much, as the rest of the group still waited in anticipation for Squall's recovery. At least this time, there was still the fleeting hope that everyone held onto, the hope that he would return to them.

Cid eventually joined the others after handling the rest of Garden's affairs in Squall's absence and he too, had high hopes that the hero of the sorceress war would be in top shape.

Zell was getting a bit bored, and resisted the urge to practice his moves. "Uh, sir? Did you and Matron ever have to go through something like this too?"

Cid chuckled. "Ah, that wasn't necessary. You see, before Edea became possessed, we rarely had any arguments…"

"Oh, is that so dear?" She turned to look at him square in the eye. "Because I seem to recall every time we had some sort of 'discussion', you'd be the one who ended up sulking outside the bedroom."

Everyone snickered at that. The idea of their headmaster "sulking" was too funny to imagine.

Cid just scratched his head, his ears turning a bit red. "There were times I needed fresh air…it was perfectly normal-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence as it was right then that out of nowhere, Squall rose out of bed, his eyes wide and gasping for breath.

A/N: This is quite possibly the longest chapter I've ever written! Man… that took a long while. If you have any questions, comments or anything you'd like to tell me, feel free. I'll be happy to answer. The next chap won't take so long this time… hopefully. It should be the last…Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!