Chapter Five
On the night of our graduation, my fellow Defenders and I had made the crown of Splatalot. We crafted it out of leprechauns' gold and gnomes' jewels. It was then that we decided that we would name the kingdom that we would defend the Kingdom of Splatalot.
Although, I still believe that the Kingdom of Gildar would of been a much better name.
When my fellow Defenders and I first came to the castle, it was in a state of disrepair. The castle was in ruins, the moat wasn't green at all, and there were no weapons anywhere! Much work had to be done in order to make it a beautiful, yet terrifying, kingdom. We got to work repairing it right away.
Before the teenage Attackers of today came along, we were constantly under attack by mythical creatures. Countless ogres, rabid unicorns, giants, and Santa Clause. (Don't listen to any of those fairy tales; he sneaked into our castle to get the crown. But rest assured, he won't be coming back anytime soon.)
It was during these rough times that the obstacles were still being constructed. However, not all of the obstacles of the castle are Tinkor's specialties. In fact, many of the obstacles we have now came from our defeated opponents.
I'll list a few examples for you. The Beastly Battle Axes came from a pair of giants that once attempted to breach the castle. I said "attempted." We kept their axes. It was only fair. The Rope Bridge of Disaster was made from defeated knights' shields and a thread woven by dungeon prisoners. The Perilous Pole Vault skulls once belonged to a castle chef who used too many rotting foods in his cooking. He "donated" his body to castle science, and we've cooked our own food ever since.
Finally, after about a year of living at the castle, it was finally finished. Tinkor had gotten all the weapons working and installed, including the Mace Roll, Splatzookas, Froth Broth-Er, Lethal Launchers, and countless others. Our alchemist, Thorne, had finished various slime, goo, and foam formulas for our weapons, as well.
By the time it was finished, we were no longer under attack by those pathetic mythical creatures. But we were, however, under attack by groups of teenagers, better known as Attackers. Their mission is to retrieve the crown of Splatalot, making them the king or queen of the kingdom. If my fellow Defenders would just do their job right, like me, then the Attackers would NEVER get the crown! But no, SOMEONE always gets the crown at least once a week!
But the new kings and queens never stay for long; their parents usually take them home at the end of the day. The longest Splatalot monarch that ever stayed was for three days, and that was because her parents couldn't tell the difference between a map and a restaurant menu.