Briefing

The mood one has when walking to Nick Fury's office on the Helicarrier can be likened to that of a cartoon cat descending an escalator to Hell for chasing a bird. As Peter shuffled down the unnecessarily long hallway to the office, he couldn't help but wonder why Fury wanted to see him this time. Could it be about that incident with the particle accelerator? Perhaps it was about letting Doc Ock out of prison in exchange for him doing Peter's science homework? It was probably about Peter's bet with Danny that he could eat 100 chili dogs in one sitting that ended with the cafeteria being covered in puke.

Peter knocked reluctantly on Fury's door. "Enter." Peter walked into Fury's office.

"So, boss, what did I do this time? Is this about the barf in the cafeteria? 'Cause Danny said he'd clean that up for me."

"No, it's not... Barf in the cafeteria?" Peter chuckled sheepishly. "I'm glad you mentioned Danny, actually. Look who just ended up in the medical wing."

Fury turned on the screen behind his desk which displayed live footage from the medical wing. In the beds were Luke, Sam, Coulson, and Danny, all unconscious. "What happened to them?"

"Ava happened." Fury explained. "She got to Danny this morning."

"How is Ava putting all these people into comas?"

Fury started pacing the floor. "Do you remember that Arctic training session I had you do last month?"

"Yeah, of course."

"And do you remember what you and Ava did on that mission?"

Peter's face turned bright red. Of course he remembered that! How could he forget? "Uh... Yeah?"

"And do you remember what happened after that?"

Peter thought for a moment. "Not really. I think I fell asleep afterwards. The next thing I remember is waking up in that SHIELD base."

"Exactly! You fell asleep. So did the four of them. Only difference is they didn't wake up."

Peter was dumbstruck. He knew Ava had been cheating on him, but he never would have thought that sex with her could be so deadly. "How does she do that?" He asked. "How does every guy that she has sex with slip into a coma?"

Fury pressed a button on his desk. The image on the screen switched from the medical wing to an image of Ava's White Tiger Amulet. "I've been going over Ava's family history. There has only been one female White Tiger before her: her great-great grandmother, Alexandra Ayala. The reason why there hasn't been another female White Tiger is because the amulet has a side effect: it increases the sex drive of any woman who possesses it 100-fold from the minute they lose their virginity. It also causes her to secrete special pheromones to attract men to fulfill her sexual desires. And, if that doesn't work, she can bend any man to her will just by looking them in the eye. However, Ava's increased sex drive comes at a price: the amulet drains the life force of any man she sleeps with, putting them in a coma."

Peter was stunned. If he had known this would happen, he never would have taken Ava's virginity in that cave! One question remained, though. "But I've been having sex with her all month," Peter said, "how come I'm not out of commission like the others?"

"I believe that the spider DNA in your blood prevented you from being affected by Ava's powers. Which makes you our only weapon against her, Mr. Parker."

"Well, how do I stop her?"

"It's a simple solution: get her pregnant."

Peter sputtered a bit. "What?! How would that help?!"

"It's how Ava's great-great grandmother was stopped. Her husband got her pregnant, and her sex drive decreased back to normal."

"Well, if Ava's been having so much sex, how come she isn't pregnant already?"

Fury smirked. "Why do you think she loves anal so much? The amulet doesn't want to stop draining the life forces of males, so it causes its owner's instincts to say "do it in the butt." No sane man is going to pass up anal with a girl like Ava, so there's almost no chance of her getting pregnant."

Peter thought about this for a moment. He was the only person who could put an end to Ava's reign of terror. Then again, Aunt May would literally explode if she found out he had gotten a girl pregnant. He knew what he had to do...

He had to do Ava.