The following Sunday Connor woke early and headed down to the bridge to meet Carolyn. Much to his surprise she was waiting there already, leaning on the railing and looking down into the water curiously. He had expected to be wearing something like Myriam's usual outfit but she was dressed if anything in something that reminded him more of his naval uniform. In place of her usual straw bonnet she wore a navy tricorn with a single black feather hanging out the back. Her coat was a dark blue wool with polished pewter buttons holding it tight to the white vest. The edges were and cuffs were trimmed with silver braids in tiny loops. The flared waist of the coat fell over a full skirt of a slightly darker blue and her right foot swung out revealing dark leather boots. Her silver dagger was held by the matching leather belt. The plain carry all she was in the habit of carrying looked sorely mismatched lying at her feet.
She smiled up at him as he approached and swung the bag across her back. "I'm ready if you are. Thank you again."
He ran another eye over her attire. "I thought you were going to wearing pants."
Bowing her head slightly to him she lifted the hem of her skirt and held out one linen clad calf. "I'll take the skirt off when we're a bit farther from town. There's practical and there's running around town undressed. I have my reputation to think of after all. " She continued "I know the jacket may look like a bit much but it is really the most practical top I own. It's designed for hunting and riding so no corsets for one. And the hat doesn't have any cords to get caught around my neck or snag anything should I fall. I'm not entirely hopeless. "
He nodded at that and gestured to one of the foot paths heading off into the brush. "Let's get started then."
It was not very long at all before the path began to become denser and less maintained . The noise of the town faded out and small animals began to curiously monitor their approach. He wondered how the animals knew that they were safe from him today. He supposed one of the women in town might have come out far enough that they associated her presence with food. He turned around to see Carolyn bent over carefully untangling her skirt from a fallen branch lying close to the path.
"You should probably change soon, the path gets worse from here out".
"You're probably right." She reached up under the back of her jacket unfastened the ties of her skirt letting it slide down past her hips. She carefully folded the material and tucked it into her bag, pulling out a pair of half gloves and tucking them in her belt beside the knife before standing. The pants were a black linen but with a heavy dense weave and she kicked her leg out to shake the cuff lose. "God I haven't worn pants since I was small enough to be mistaken for a boy."
"I would not count on that assumption now but they look very practical for climbing. And the gloves were a good choice." If it had been anybody but Connor she would have taken exception to the first statement but it seemed a casual observation from him. She swung the bag back across her back and gestured for him to lead on. Soon enough they reached the rocky outcropping he had mentioned.
Pulling on her gloves she surveyed the rocks. The hill was covered in area of sheered stone but she thought could spot a distinct path leading upwards. "So, how exactly does this work?" Connor explained briefly about grips and using your feet for traction. Carolyn approached the rock dubiously. "Go ahead and grab the top. You're looking for a sturdy ledge. You would not want something that crumbles under your weight." He reached up rested his fingers on a surprisingly squared portion of the ledge above. "Try here."
Carolyn tried to reach the top ledge but what was easily within Connor's grasp was well past her own. Feeling a little sheepish she tried jumping, straight up at first and then finally in desperation running at the wall. Each time her fingers missed the ledge by inches. "Well." She said looking around. "Other ideas? I could try dragging over a branch." Connor looked around flushed. It had never occurred to him that she was almost a foot shorter than he was. "Let me give you a leg up" he offered and kneeled by the rock, his hands cupped. Gingerly she put one of her boots in his hand and reached up finally grabbing the top ledge. Having reached it she still scrambled trying to get a decent grip with her shoes before she felt his hands once again under her soles and him push her up so she was lying on the stone. Having finally gained the top of the rock she turned around and reached down to offer Connor a hand up. Almost casually he reached up and pulled himself up to the top. She looked up at where he stood over her and laughed. "Show off." But she accepted the hand he offered her as well the offer to carry her bag.
Luckily the first stone proved to be the tallest and she needed help only twice more as they climbed. Stone by stone, path by path they worked until they reached the ledge Connor had told her of. Inching up to the edge she looked down the sharp drop to the lower ledges. "See the bobcat?" Connor pointed to a shape creeping through the grass. Carolyn scanned the ledge "Is that another sunning on the rock? How big are they up close?" Her eyes lit in obvious pleasure. Connor held up his hands in an approximation of their height and head size. Excitedly she dug into her bag and pulled out her notebook and began to sketch while he told her stories of the times he had hunted the large felines. He even managed to find some tracks up on their area though he assured her they were old enough not to be concerned about. The sun was well up past its zenith when she sat back, contented that she had a better understanding of the animal below.
"So, how do we get back down?" She asked at last. Connor walked over to one of the edges, chasing some curious birds off and motioned to pile of fallen leaves below. "I usually jump." Carolyn leaned carefully over the edge and eyed the pile before turning to Connor. "And you are welcome to. I think I'll take the path." Connor shook his head. "I'll come with you. Though it will take more time."
Carolyn noticed for the first time the position of the sun and how long they had been here. "Oh Connor, I'm sorry. It's not fair of me to keep you busy like this."
He smiled at how at ease she had become with him. For once he didn't feel like she expected him to jump out at her like one of the dangerous animals she seemed not at all frightened of. "Truly I do not mind. I think it's great that you are interested in the land here and want to teach the people about it. Too many see the land and animals as just something to use. "
Suddenly she brightened.
"I almost forgot. I packed us some lunch. Should we eat now or is there a better spot down the hill?"
Thoughtfully he looked around spotting a smooth bit of rock on an outcropping that would offer protection from the wind. "Up here would be best I think but that really wasn't necessary".
Carolyn smiled and shouldered her bag. "Hmm maybe not for you but I've been up since dawn and I'm used to eating more than once a day. Besides, Ellen is off taking Maria to visit her grandparents so I had full run of the kitchen for the past 2 days. It's not often I get to cook these days and I miss it. I may not be able to climb but I know my way around a stove well enough at least." Sliding down with her back against the rock she pulled out a number of parcels and laid them out. She pulled out two stoppered bottles and handed him one as well. "The beer is Corrine's. The food is mine." She pointed at the various items "meat pastries, boiled eggs, hard rolls and cheese and jam tarts." She looked over at him as he surveyed the meal. "You seemed like the type to get hungry. Large men tend to. " He reached over and picked up a pastry, biting into it carefully and trying to look smaller or at least less intimidating. It was filled with a spicy meat mixture with vegetables and some herb that he did not recognize but tasted of the summer. "It's very good!" he commented, helping himself to another. She sipped her beer and grimaced. "I would trade a keg of this for a decent cup of tea but there's none to be had this week. I'm very ready for this war to be over."
They had made an impressive inroad into the food before he realized Carolyn had gone quiet, the bottle hanging forgotten from her fingers while she looked out down the valley. Noticing his attention she gestured to the view. "It's very beautiful here. Peaceful." Connor considered her thoughtfully. "I do not wish to pry. All who have come here have come for different reasons. I do not know much about clothes but… " he tapped a finger against the braid work of the cuff "you would seem to have more options than most, Loyalist or no. What are you doing way out here?"
Carolyn leaned back against the rock. "Same as the rest I suspect. Trying to make the best of a bad situation. A girl with no male guardian has limited options." She lifted the bottle and took a swig of beer.
"So you did not like the brothels or convents either?" He asked.
Carolyn choked on her drink. Coughing and sputtering Connor patted her carefully on the shoulder. "Are you alright?"
She stared at him temporarily speechless. "Do you have ANY idea what that means?" Connor looked at her in confusion. "Myriam said that those were her options when her father died but that she did not like the air." Carolyn sighed and rubbed her head.
"A convent is where a woman goes and swears her life to God. She never leaves and becomes their property for the rest of her life." Connor frowned slightly at that. "What if she chose to leave?" Carolyn shook her head. "And they usually want money just like a dowry. A brothel…" she continued trying not to blush and failing "is where a woman goes to sell her body to any man who will have her. To sell herself to many men a day until she is too old or too sick to be of any value. "
Connor looked thoughtful at this. "It makes no sense to me. Why would anybody go there?"
"Because they have no other choice, Connor. Because it's that or starve on the street. " He shook his head "That I understand. I meant why would the men? How can there be pleasure in something like that?" Carolyn smiled at that and touched his cheek lightly. "You're a good man, Connor. Has anyone ever told you that?" She leaned back against the wall. She sat thoughtfully for a moment. "Now the first time I might have ended up in a brothel."
Connor relaxed in the sun and stretched against the rock. "First time?" he asked sleepily.
"Hmmm. When my father died. He was hung as a traitor, you know. The crown confiscated all his property."
Connor glanced at Carolyn as she stretched back leaning against the rock and continued. "He was a doctor. His goal in life was to help people. Some would say he was too kind. When I was young my mother got with child again. When the time came the babe was stuck. He … he hesitated to do what needed to be done. He might have saved one or the other but as he could not bring himself to operate until it was too late and so he lost both. He taught me that. That inaction can be as bad as the wrong action. He could not bring himself not to act after that. During the 7 Years War he was sent up to Albany with the army and brought me with him. He was caught treating the French soldiers as well." She snorted at that. "Soldiers! Boys, some as young as 12. I was 11 at the time. Most of them were dying from disease and he kept me far away but I would accompany him to the wounded ones who were healthy, for lack of a better term. I used to help him sew people up. He taught me how to get past the smell of blood and death and the ruin of men's bodies. 'If you cannot think on the wound, count the stitches instead. Try counting them in French' he would say. Our housekeeper back home was une femme Quebecois; a French Canadian woman. She taught me some French and how to cook and sew as I had no mother. And they caught him and called him a traitor and sentenced him to hang. Never mind that everyone knew the war was over. All that was left was to sign the armistice. They hung 2 of the other doctors too and one of their 13 year old sons for helping." She started to shake slightly at the memory.
"And they spared you because you were a girl?" Connor asked.
"They spared me because my father had friends powerful enough to get me a pardon on those grounds. One of them showed up the day we were to be hung. He tried to take me away immediately but the man in charge, General Pensham, insisted I stay and watch. He said he would give my father's body back for burial if I did. So we stayed. My father wanted to be buried next to my mother and brother back home in Boston and this was the last gift I could give him. So dad gave his friend his rings just in case one of his handlers got sticky fingers and told me not to be scared, that hanging was one of the quickest, easiest ways to die and then he would be watching over me at my new home." Caught up in the memory she continued. "The bastards got the ropes too short. His neck didn't break. None of their necks broke. I remember. It took ages. So I counted just like he taught me,
"'un, deux, trois, quatre' there were four guards at the base of the scaffold. "
"'un, deux, trois, quatre, ciq, six, sept" Seven posts on the wall of the fort were taller than the rest.
"'un, deux, trois ' there were three blackbirds sitting in the tree behind the scaffolding."
She swallowed and tried to shake herself out of the pain, wiping her steaming eyes on the back of her sleeve and then laughing at herself for doing so. "Even after all these years. I didn't cry at the time. Not until later. And my new guardian stood there behind me, holding my hand. He looked almost bored but I'm sure he was counting too. We walked out of the fort to his carriage hand in hand and he drove to Boston. He carried me into his house in his arms. 'You must not show your enemy weakness, Carolyn, but you must not be afraid to show it to your friends either'. That was one of the first things he taught me. All of my father's property was confiscated on the grounds he was a traitor but he got my mother's jewelry back and got my father properly buried. Poor man was a confirmed bachelor but he never seemed to begrudge me coming to his house. And now that he's dead I have no one. He saved me from so much I never even thought of what would have happened to me penniless and alone in the world." She tore one of the left over rolls to pieces and flung the crumbs for the birds watching them curiously.
Connor reached out and placed a hand on her shoulder. "I understand." Angrily she turned to him, brushing his hand from her arm. "Do you? Do you really? Have you see your life crumble to pieces? The kindest person you've ever known dead because they wanted to help someone? "
He let his arm fall and looked back out on the sky. "Yes actually. When I was about that age my mother was murdered. Soldiers razed our village and she got caught in one of the houses while trying to get the others out. I ran into to try to help but she was trapped. She sent me away. One of the men had to drag me out. I'll never forget the look on her face. "
Carolyn hung her head ashamedly. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. I suppose you do understand then. The loneliness, the shame. The guilt. The anger can turn you into something you're not if you let it. General Pensham's death is the only death I've ever prayed for. " She leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few moments while Connor thought on that. "Do you know if he still lives?" he asked casually. Carolyn broke into a wide and rather malicious grin and toyed with the hilt of the dagger in her belt. "Actually he seems to have gotten his throat cut being mugged less than a year after that. They didn't slice it very well though. I'm told it took him an hour to die. " With that she stretched and sat up, dusting off her hands and beginning to repack the bag.
"Though mine is actually the opposite problem now. A poor woman might end up in a convent or a brothel. One with money or connections will find herself with a husband whether she wills it or not. The crueler the man the more likely he is to try to force her hand. I do not have a lot but it is enough it seems for some. I'm not giving anyone that opportunity so I left. Sooner or later I'll need a new guardian. Someone I can trust. Unfortunately they all seem to have found themselves on the other side of a war so here I stay."
Connor rose to his feet and helped her to her own. She waved off his offer to carry the bag down as it was now considerably lighter and gravity would be on her side.
"You could consider getting married" Connor suggested. "If you found a husband you liked after all nobody could force you to take on you didn't. There are some nice men in the village. They would not abuse you."
Carolyn laughed at that. "Connor the matchmaker is it now?" She shook her head and said lightly "No, I think I'm bad luck. All the men in my life die; brother, father, guardian…. I would not wish to bring any problems here. I'll take them with me when I go. " She started down the hill and he looked after her.
"Take your bad luck to Kingston? And what there?"
"Why there they would be loyalists bearing the brunt of it. " Carolyn grinned up at Connor "Do you think if I told the patriots that they would let my ship through?"
The trip down the hill took considerably less time and before he expected it she was shaking out her skirt and pulling it back on over her pants. He walked her up to the step of Ellen's door but stopped her before she could enter.
"I'm afraid there's not much more for me to show you. The rest of the wildlife is too dangerous to observe." He began reluctantly. Carolyn frowned at that. "Even the elk?" She had seen the creatures off along the edge of the wood on numerous occasions and they had not seemed particularly aggressive. "It's the season. The bull elk would charge you should you get too close." A sudden thought occurred to him. "Unless you were in the trees. I hunt them sometimes like that if it is a large one and its hide is too thick for arrows. Come to think of it if you could climb I might take you to the wolf packs as well if you'd like to see them from a bit further away."
Carolyn thought on the offer. She had seen him moving through the trees almost as easily as he moved on the ground but her mind also supplied timely images of her embarrassing attempts to climb a simple rock this morning. At the heights in question she wouldn't need a charging elk to be hurt if she missed a jump. Connor looked at her hopefully.
"All right, I'll give it a go. "she said at last. "We'll start small, right? Smaller than this morning? " Connor nodded thinking on the fallen tree near the house. "Can you meet me at the manner tomorrow?" Carolyn looked up at that. "We have class tomorrow. But I can come afterwards. It's starting to be planting season so we're only half days except when it rains." Connor berated himself for forgetting that most people in town kept a tighter schedule then he was used to. "Of course, whenever you're ready. I'll be at the house. Wear the pants again. "She turned to lift the latch on the door but suddenly turned back and grabbed his hand. With him on the ground and her on the step they were almost eye to eye.
"I'm sorry about your mother." She said gently. "It's nice to be able to talk to someone who understands." He swallowed and nodded "I'm afraid I'm not used to company. I never know what to say." Turning she gave him a soft smile. "You're honest, Connor. I admire that about you. Just do me one favor? " She chuckled to herself lightly.
He nodded. "Don't tell anyone I taught you what a brothel is. People would talk." Laughing the stood on her toes she pressed her lips lightly against his and then turned into the house and shut the door. Hearing the bolt shot home he turned and headed back to the manor still unsure what just happened.