Back to the Firefly 04
Any constructive criticisms, commendations or just comments would be greatly appreciated.Sorry for the long wait but here's the latest Chapter. Enjoy
Chapter 04 Party time
After introducing Lister to rest of the crew Mal took him to the Dining area where what remained of the crew's party was evident. Lister stood there like a kid in a candy store. He hadn't seen a party since Red Dwarf disappeared over a year ago. The last shindig he'd been to had been Rimmer's Death day party which had been a complete and utter disaster. Rimmer had given a five hour speech which had melted Kryten's CPU and sent him and the Cat into a coma. Seeing a bottle of Alcohol on the dining table Lister's eye's lit up, he hadn't had any alcohol in over 3 months.
"Nice free booze" said Lister as he picked up the bottle and poured a colourless alcoholic liquid into a tin mug.
"Oy that my best moonshine I doubt a Sān sè Jin like you can handle such strong liquor" complained Jayne.
Lister just shrugged and consumed the clear alcoholic sprit in one gulp. Lister was an expert drinker having spent most nights on Red Dwarf drinking through the ships Larger supply. So could hardly feel the strong alcoholic content of the moonshine as it coursed through his body.
"You call this strong; this brew couldn't even get a coven of Goths drunk let alone me. Who the Sān sè Jin now" said Lister?
"Oh yeah I bet you couldn't survive one round in a drinking contest against me" said Jayne.
"Yeah" Lister retorted!
"Yeah" Jayne retorted back!
"Wow it's hard to keep up with all the intelligence conversation around here" commented Wash.
"I'll bet a week's worth of cleaning the toilet that Jayne wins" bet Kaylee.
"Who'd bet against Jayne, didn't you say Kaylee that he'd drunk four grown men under the table" said Simon?
"It was five actually" Kaylee corrected
"I'll put a month's worth of washing clothes that the newbie wins" said River to Simon's constellation.
Both Jayne and Lister sat down at opposite sides of Serenity's long oak table with a tin mug each and Jayne's nearly full bottle of moonshine, the rest of the crew crowd around of them in anticipation for the contest ahead.
Lister laid back in the seat wearing his amiable slob grin that was mischievous as the fourth wheel on a shopping trolley. While the rest of Lister's body language was leaking confidence from every orifice. This wasn't Lister's first contest, back in Liverpool he'd learned on the many pub crawls's how to hold his liquor and last the longest. Jayne was equally confidence of winning because like little Kaylee had pointed out, he had drunk four men under the table. So he was looking forward to show this gorram fool the error of his ways.
Wash acting as referee poured Moonshine into Lister's and Jayne's mugs and the contest began.
25 rounds later...
"You kn-ow what Lister, your my best friend" slurred Jayne.
Jayne went to gulp down the last of the moonshine from his cup when a blank look arrived on his face and collapsed, falling off his chair and under the table. A look of triumph appeared on Lister's face. With a ferret like smile Lister finished off the contents of his mug, turned the tin mug upside down and placing the mug on top of his head.
"Jayne's out for count, so the underdog Dave Lister wins" called Wash.
"Yeah baby, I'm a well oiled drinking machine. In your face Smeg Heads!" said Lister
He then proceeds to jump on to Serenity's large dining table and started to perform a strange rendition of the Macarena to the shock and surprise of the crew.
All except Zoe and Mal who was standing in the corridor outside the dining area having an intent discussion on what to do with the new passenger Dave Lister.
"I don't trust him, I think he is holding something back" declared Mal.
Mal was on edge about what to do with Lister. If Lister was being less than truthfully it was safer for his crew if they dump him as soon as they landed on Persephone. But if Lister was telling the truth and he was from Old Earth than dumping him on Persephone would be a death sentence. Without any records of Listers existence the Alliance would soon sniff him out and more than likely experiment on him to discover the truth. It was times like these the Shepard's advice would have come in handy. But they weren't due to pick up Shepard Book from his Abbey retreat for another two weeks.
"I agree with you sir but Lister seems to me harmless enough. Unlike other guests we're had onboard" commented Zoe.
Behind them Lister emphasised Zoe's point by evolving his Macarena into a strip tease taking off his patched leather jacket and throwing at Inara. She wrinkled her nose and arched her eyebrows at the grease and food stains that cover most of the jackets surface.
Mal stared at Lister for a moment and nodded giving ground to Zoe's statement.
"There might be something in that. But until I find out the truth I can't trust him" stated Mal.
"You haven't been able to trust anyone new ever since those incidents with Dobson and Saffron" remarked Inara.
Inara had dropped Lister's jacket and decided that this party was a bit below her so joined Mal and Zoe in there discussion in the corridor.
"So what do you think of Lister. It looks like he thinks the worlds of you" Mal smirked.
Mal too had feelings for Inara (but kept them more secret than Lister) but wasn't worried about Lister's attraction to Inara. After tonight performance I doubt Inara would look at Lister twice.
"Yes I noticed, Lister's made his intentions quite clear. He's crude, abhorrent and absolutely disgusting, but I think he has a good heart and he's hiding something" reported Inara.
Due to Inara's companion training she could read people words and body language with a great deal of accuracy. So Mal and Zoe both took Inara conclusions very seriously.
"Do you think you could use your companion charms to get Lister to speak more freely" asked Mal?
Inara rolled her eyes at Mal's innuendo but she recognised Mal's point that of all the crew she was the one most likely to get the truth from Lister.
"Alright I'll give it a try but I can't make any promises. I think Lister is disguising his true intelligence" commented Inara.
"Well it must be a very good disguise" said Zoe staring at Lister who had current stripped down to food stained long johns to the astonishment of the rest of the crew.
"You better wait til tomorrow it doesn't look like Lister's in the mood to take questions tonight" said Mal.
Inara wrinkled her nose in disgust and for once full heartily agreed with Captain Malcolm Reynolds.
The next day Inara went looking for Lister in the wreckage of Serenity's Dining room. The party had ended when Lister had toppled off the Dining room table and knocked himself out when trying to teach Kaylee the Old Earth concept of skateboarding. Inara had found Lister lying on the other side of the upturned oak table still in his long johns and a metal bucket on his head. Inara gentle tapped Lister's side with her foot and was rewarded with a large groan. After finishing a round of groaning Lister rose to his feet, removing the bucket from his head and studying it.
"I'm on a Firefly Class ship in the middle of deep space, can somebody explain to me where the Smeg I got this milk pale" asked Lister mostly to himself?
"Dave I was wondering if you wanted some of my hangover solution for your head" asked Inara?
"Yeah sure I really use that about now. My head feels like a drum set that's been used in a Rolling Stone's concert" said Lister.
"It's in my shuttle, I'll wait outside til your properly dressed before I escort you over" said Inara
With that Inara walked out into the corridor her backed turned to him. Lister looked down in surprise to find himself in his food stained long johns. What a night thought Lister as went around the dining room procuring items of clothing he'd discarded last night.
Chinese Translations for this chapter are:
Sān sè Jin: Pansy
Gorram: Hell
Next time of Back to the Firefly is Chapter 05 Memories are made of Smeg