Author's note: Thank you so much everyone for reading and reviewing this! This is set after 6x22 when Elena asked Caroline and Bonnie to write a diary. This is really short because I was too busy freaking out over exams and this seemed better and longer in my head but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Disclaimer: The Vampire Diaries does not belong to me.

Dear Diary,

I'm writing this in honour of Elena so that when she awakens from her sleeping beauty like sleep she can read about every moment of mine and Bonnie's lives. When Bonnie dies. Even I can't put a positive spin on that. Even if I did get the lucky end of Kai's spell, I'm still going to watch both of my best friends grow old and wither away. Things aren't going to be the same anymore. There's going to be an empty bed in our dorm room where a missing friend should be and no more sleepovers with the three of us like we used to have all the time.

After I first turned, I had no idea what lay ahead for me. I imagined living two hundred years ahead of now surrounded by robots and spaceships in a beautiful house with more money than I knew what to do with. When Elena joined our small group of blood sucking anomalies, I picture us and the Salvatore brothers going to college after college, travelling across continents and oceans and living through history.

Now I see a dark, spiralling tunnel full of bloodshed, loss and death. My mom was my tie to humanity. I learnt to control my urges so she wouldn't see the monster inside and when she died I couldn't keep a grip on myself and I turned it off. But now I have another tie to my humanity.

In the darkness I see in my future, there is one constant light shining over my, protecting me. Stefan is that light, my own personal star. Before the time of GPS's, people used the stars as a navigation system to guide them back home and even though light pollution has made it harder to see them, you still can no matter what obstacles are in the way. Stefan was the one to guide me back after my killing spree and our friendship has survived multiple humanity flips, psychotic witches and an evil siphoner. He's always been there for me and I'm hoping he always will because I can't imagine a vampire life without Stefan Salvatore.

But I'm scared. I've done so many horrible things to him. I tried to kill his great, great something niece, forced him to flip his switch and then slept with him. He said he forgave me but has he really? How could he forgive me for all that so quickly?

But last night I went home for the first time since I got back. It was completely empty other than a few bits of basic furniture I brought while I was away after I sold everything and my voice echoed through the rooms. All mine and mom's photos were gone and none of our furniture was there but I didn't even care about those. I cared about the silence that was screaming in my ears and the memories that flashed in front of me. And then Stefan arrived. He basically told me he's fallen in love with me.

I've been waiting so long for those words to slip out of his mouth that I lost the ability to talk. I still can't believe it happened. When I first met him and began embarrassingly flirting with him he told me we were never going to happen. I got over it, not by choice, but from Damon's compulsion and after becoming a vampire I slowly began to fall for him again. Like him, I don't know how or when but by the time Damon and Bonnie died and he left I was in love with him and him not answering my calls when he replied to everyone else's was gradually destroying me. But I can't be like that. I can't fall apart whenever he's not around to heal me. I'm already broken enough. I need to get my life in order first and know that I can rely on myself because I don't think I can deal with any more heartbreak. I just really hope he does stick to his word and wait for me.

Elena, I could really use you for some girl talk right now. I miss you.

Caroline xxx