A/N: A huge thank you to Starpower 31/Bella and ElleCC for taking the time to edit this chapter.
The Spa
Chapter Four: Zumba—Let the Grove Get In
We're having a great time at the spa tonight. Rose is in rare form. She introduces a new routine, and I have to laugh at myself because I trip over my own feet at least ten times—I have never been the most graceful person in the world. I'm bad, but Leah is a close second. We spend most of the time laughing at each other. Alice, on the other hand, catches on like she's been doing this for years. It's almost as if she can see the steps before Rose teaches them to us.
The class ends, and Rose tells us that Alisha, the Zumba instructor, is out, and she'll be subbing for her. She asks us to stay for Zumba.
"Rose, I can barely make it through your Low Impact Class, and you're asking me to stay for Zumba? You'll have to carry me out of here," I say.
"Zumba is a completely different class. It's fun and sexy, and you'll get a good work-out without even realizing it. Come on, we'll make a party out of it! I downloaded a new song by Justin Timberlake—'Let the Groove Get In'. It's not your typical Zumba song, but it's funky and it really makes you move," Rose says.
"Ladies, I love you dearly, but my idea of fun that makes me sweat this much," Leah says, pointing to herself, "does not include you all. I'm leaving so that I can have some real fun—and he's waiting for me right now. See you all tomorrow night?" she asks, waiting for confirmation.
"I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it," I say, disappointed.
Placing her hands on her hips, "Why not?" Leah retorts.
"Jake wants to get together to talk."
"Talk about what….the fact that he's a jackass?"
"Calm down, Leah. We need to discuss Alex's senior year. It's a big year for him, and we need to plan it all out," I say sadly.
"Well, that shouldn't take all night. I've been looking forward to this for a while, and you're going! I'll call you around eight. If you haven't left by then, I'm coming to get you, and don't have me pulling you out of a compromising position!" Leah says.
"What's that supposed to mean—compromising position?" I ask.
"It means that Jake relinquished all rights to the goodies when he left, so keep your panties on."
"She's right, Bella. We have to make sure that you don't have any slip-ups, or slip-offs, in this case. If you're not on your way when she calls, we're bringing the party to your house," Alice says.
I can't believe that Leah and Alice are double-teaming me. Alice really surprises me, because she was always Jake's number one fan. Oh my, how things change.
"Are the two of you insinuating that I can't control myself? I'll have you know that my panties are glued on, and he'd have to pry them off with a crowbar. Leah, you should try a little glue yourself," I say.
Leah is my sister and I love her, but she's one of those people who can dish it out, but never gets it back—she can be a little intimidating. Despite my attempt to give her a taste of her own medicine, she waves me off."
Rose is oblivious to our conversation because she's too busy recruiting for her Zumba class.
"Come on, EB, you have to stay," Rose says, pleading with Alice.
Rose came up with "EB", Alice's new nickname. It's short for Energizer Bunny , and it's pronounced "Ebbie". There's no rhyme or reason to Rose's nicknames—they're just what pops into her head at the time. She came up with one for me as well, but I refuse to be called Old Beller. She said that it's from the Disney movie Old Yeller. I told her to go back to the drawing board.
"Sorry, Rose, the boys are with their grandparents tonight. I'm going home to have the kind of fun Leah's havin'. Jazz and I will be jazzin' it up tonight!" she says, doing that shrug thing with her eyebrows.
"Well, damn! Rub it in, why dontcha. Fine! Go on now, go! Walk out the door! Just turn around now 'cause you're not—
"Okay, okay, I'll stay—just don't finish that song," I say, cutting Rose off.
"Thank you, Bella, my true friend. And to my two faux friends, you won't be the only ones having fun tonight. Bella, Zumba and I are about to get our groove on," Rose says, shaking her hips.
"Happy threesome!" Leah yells as she walks out the door, and Alice giggles as she follows behind her.
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The Zumba class starts, and there are about twenty people in the room besides Rose and me. Rose introduces herself and tells them that she is subbing for Alisha. I can tell that they are a little disappointed, but at least they stay. Knowing Rose, I'm sure they'll be glad they did.
Rose starts the warm-up, which is pretty much the same as for her regular class, but after the warm-up, she puts on "Let the Groove Get In," and the class livens up. Rose is right about this song. She starts moving her hips from side to side and then adds her arms and shoulders, and we follow her. She is also right about Zumba being a completely different class. I feel good moving to the music—not clumsy at all. In fact, I feel confident and sexy. The song has a driving beat, and I get lost in it.
"Let the groove get in, ladies, and let go!" she yells in between singing the words of the song. "Are you comfortable right there right there. Let the groove get in there, there, right there."
And I do. Before I know it, I'm swaying my hips with my hands above my head, moving to the music. Rose teaches us several dance moves, Salsa, Reggaeton and Mambo. There is also a step where we move our hips while moving around in a circle. I'll have to ask Rose the name of that one because it's so sexy!
In between songs, she'll teach us a move, and then we put it to music. It's the most fun I've had in a long time. When it's over, I'm drenched. Rose has won over the people in the class, because they all approach her afterward. If she starts teaching Zumba, I will definitely be there, and I'm sure they'll be there too.
"Rose, that was amazing! I'm soaking wet, and it didn't feel like I was working out! I can't believe that I did two classes and I'm still standing," I say as we make our way to the locker room.
"See, I told you that you'd forget that you're working out. I love it!"
"Why don't you teach Zumba here?"
"Because Alisha is the Zumba instructor and they only need one. I don't want to step on her toes, but I look forward to her vacations, when I can sub for her."
Alisha is lucky to have Rose as a friend, because based on the reaction of the class, Rose could easily be the new Zumba instructor if she really wanted it. But she would never do that to a friend.
"I'm glad I stayed. Let me know when you teach again and I'll be there."
"I'm glad you stayed too. I appreciate your support, Bella. It means a lot."
"No problem. I've got to run. I have a busy day tomorrow," I say.
"Me, too. Come on, I can't wait to take a hot shower and get into my warm bed."
"Same here." We grab our bags out of our lockers and head for the door.
As we enter the elevator, Rose says nervously, "Bella, I don't mean to get in your business, but I heard Leah and Alice giving you a hard time about your meeting with Jake. Can I offer you a word of advice?"
Surprised that she asked, I reply, "Rose, you know you can—anytime."
She turns to face me with a serious expression, "I know they love you and have your best interest at heart, but the bottom line is, they can't live your life for you. You have to do what's right for you, no matter what any of us think. Trust yourself, Bella. Trust your instincts—they're there for a reason. And if you ever need me, I'm here," she says in such a caring way.
Looking up at her, I suddenly have this strong urge to hug her, but I'm all sweaty. Instead, I say "Thank you, Rose. I appreciate your faith in me."
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Later that night, as I'm getting ready for bed, I hear a knock at my door.
"Come in," I yell, over the noise of the blow dryer.
Alex walks in with his eyes downcast, wearing a frown. This is not my happy-go-lucky son. I turn off the blow dryer so that I can talk to him.
"Hey. Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. How was class tonight?" he asks, evading what's really on his mind.
I try to lift his spirits a bit. "It was a lot of fun. Can you believe your mother took two classes back to back? And one of them was Zumba!" I say excitedly as I do a little shimmy.
He gives me a little chuckle. "That's great, Mom! I'm so glad that you're doing something that makes you happy."
"Thanks, honey." I pat the bed for him to come and sit beside me. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yeah, Mom. I need to talk to you about dad."
A little nervous, I turn my body to face him. "What about your dad… is he okay?"
"Yeah, Mom, everybody's okay" he motions his hands as if he's telling me to calm down. "But he's a little upset that you haven't gone to the last two team meetings at school."
"What do you mean? You told me that your dad was taking you and that I didn't need to be there."
Holding his head down, he comes clean, "I know, Mom, but I told dad that you had to work, so that he would take me."
"Why did you tell him that? You know that wasn't true, and that I would have been there."
He looks at me and I can tell that he's angry. "I know, but you go all the time. Dad hasn't been to a meeting since the beginning of last year. I know you enjoy going to the spa and I didn't want you miss your class," He pauses and suddenly appears sad again. "But when he dropped me off that night, you had just pulled into the driveway, and he saw you getting out of the car in your workout gear. He made the comment that working out must be more important to you, than going to my meeting. I'm sorry."
It was wrong of Alex to lie to Jake, but I know his intentions were good. Conflicted, I tell him, "It's okay, but you don't have to lie to your dad or keep things from me. Next time, tell me the truth and let me make the decision, okay?"
"Okay. Dad was upset and said that you two needed to have a talk. I think that's what he wants to talk to you about tomorrow. I just wanted to warn you."
I place my hands on the sides of his face and look into his eyes, "Don't you worry about that—you let me handle your dad. What I need for you to do is be honest with us. Will you do that?"
"Yes," he says, looking away from me, "I'm really sorry if I caused a problem between you two."
"It's all right. There's no problem," I say as I lean back, looking at how handsome he's become. I pat his cheeks before I release them.
He stretches and gives me one of his loud yawns, " I'm kind of tired. I'm going to bed."
"All right, honey, good night."
"Good night, Mom."
"Oh! Alex," I say as I get up to hug him, "Thank you for thinking of me. I love you very much."
"I love you too," he says as he walks out and shuts the door.
I sit on my bed, thinking about my baby boy—only he's not a baby anymore. He's growing up, and he proved that a little bit more tonight.
Sometimes we don't realize what our children go through when we're in pain. I know the divorce was rough on him; I just didn't know that he saw what it was doing to me, how much it hurt me. I thought I was hiding it from him, but he saw straight through me. To know that he wants me to be happy—even if it's without his dad—touches my heart.
I start to cry, thinking of him going away to college. For the past two years, he's been the man of the house. I know I can't hold him back, nor do I want to. I want him to live his own life—experience things, grow and be happy. But my heart aches when I think of him leaving.
I think it would be easier if Jake and I were going through this together. Having each other to lean on, and having him to hold me when I'm feeling this way, would comfort me. But I'm alone to deal with this all by myself, and I start to cry harder.
I've had crying fits before, but this is different. It hits me that two of the most important men in my life have either left or will be leaving me. My emotions overtake me, and I sob. This can't be all about Alex leaving. This has to be more than that, because it feels like it's coming from deep within me. I think about Jake and me, and how I never found resolution when our marriage ended. The conversation we had two years ago, when I finally let go—that wasn't what I wanted. But what else can you do when there's nothing left to hold on to?
I don't think I ever allowed myself to really feel, and now it's crashing down on me like an avalanche—the weight of which takes my breath away. I sob for every time I've reached for him, only to feel his side of the bed cold and empty. I sob for every time I've picked up the phone to share news with him and realized I have no one to call, for every Christmas and New Year's spent without him. There's still a huge hole inside me, and I don't know if I will ever be whole again, and it breaks my heart.
I sob into my pillow, not wanting the kids to hear me. They've been hurt enough because of this. I need solace, fortitude, but most of all, I need peace. I slide off my bed onto my knees, and I pray that this burden is lifted from me. I pray for peace.
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I wake up to my alarm clock the next morning; I must have cried myself to sleep. I sit up in bed, and see myself in my dresser mirror. My face is blotchy and my eyes are a little swollen; however, I feel better. Today's a new day, and I've got to get up and get it started.
Saturdays are usually busy for me, but this one is chock-full. I drop Tiffany off at the animal shelter, first thing. I tidy up the house, do a couple loads of laundry, give myself a little pamper session—facial, shave my legs, shampoo my hair—and treat myself to a manicure and pedicure. Tiff will be upset to find out that I went to the nail salon without her. Jake says that he'll be here around four, and it's been mandated by two busybodies that I be done with him by eight. It's amazing that I've gotten so much done in such a short time frame.
I'm actually looking forward to meeting Alice, Leah and Rose at the karaoke bar. Leah says that she had so much fun the night she went—the night before Rose tried to kill us is how she refers to it.
Alex will be at home enjoying some time without women in the house, and Tiff will be at a sleepover at Emily's house. When Tiff asked if she could spend the night at Emily's a few nights ago, I was reluctant because I hadn't met her parents. But after a long conversation with her grandmother, I felt comfortable letting her stay. She sounds like such a lovely lady.
Tiff later tells me that Emily's mother passed away some time ago, and her father, a doctor, works most weekends. She spends a lot of time at her grandparent's house when her dad is working. Emily's grandmother offered to pick Tiff up from shelter, but I told her that I will drop her off this evening. This way, I can meet the grandparents in person and see where my daughter will be spending the night. I know I'm overprotective, but I can't help it.
I dress casually in a pair of jeans but dress them up a little with a flowing silk blouse and a pair of peep-toe platforms. Although not where I want to be in terms of my weight, I'm making progress. Alice bought me these jeans and I kept them in hopes of one day being able to fit in them, and that day has finally arrived. So what, I had to lie on the floor to zip them up. I figure it's not important how I did it—but that I did it.
Jake offered to pick Tiff up from the shelter on his way here. I'm sitting on the sofa, waiting for them, when I hear her key in the door.
"Hey, you two," I say when they walk in. "Tiff, how was your first day at the shelter?"
I stand as she makes her way over to give me a kiss—our ritual. I look at over at Jake, whose standing near the door with his hands in his pockets. I wonder if it makes him uncomfortable—it used to be our ritual too.
"It was good until we had to give Felix a bath." We sit down on the sofa and Jake, in the chair across from us.
"Felix?" I ask.
"Yes, Felix is a huge German Shepherd, and it took me and Emily an hour to bathe him. I think we got more soap and water on us than on him." We all laugh as she tells the story of Felix the dog.
"Mom, you look so pretty," she says after we calm down.
Jake looks around the room, as if he's avoiding looking at me.
"Thank you, sweetie. Are you all packed for your sleepover?"
"Yep, all packed," she says.
"Did you remember your tooth brush and underwear for tomorrow?" I remind her.
Rolling her eyes, "Yes, Mom! I've got it all under control."
"Just make sure that you have everything," I say, nudging her "Your dad and I need to talk."
"Is that your way of telling me to get lost?" she asks.
Jake interjects, "Hey, little girl! You heard your mother. Go make sure you haven't forgotten anything. Otherwise, I'll pack for you…and we know you don't want that."
"Yeah, you're right, Dad. I don't want to walk into Emily's house with a grocery bag full of clothes, which is what I'll have if you pack for me," she says jokingly.
"Get up there!" he retorts, pointing in the direction of her room, and giving her his daddy smirk—the one where he tries to look mean, but can't stop smiling. They are so cute together.
"So, Jake, how is everything?" I ask once I hear Tiff busy in her room.
"Good, everything's good. You look great, Bella. Whatever you're doing is really agreeing with you," he says as he gives me a once-over.
"Thank you."
He leans forward in the chair, placing his elbows on his thighs and folding his hands together. "Look, Bella, I want to talk to you about Alex. It's his senior year and he's got a lot going on right now. Coach Riley is having these meetings because he wants to keep us informed of his progress. Coach says that there are scouts interested in Alex, and he has some prospects for scholarships. It's very important that we be there," he sits back in his chair and looks at me sternly, "The bottom line is Alex needs us now, more than ever.
"Yes, Jake, I agree."
"Well, I thought that we'd be going to these meetings together," his demeanor relaxing a bit. "Alex told me that you couldn't make the last one because of work, but when I dropped him off, I saw you getting out of the car—in your workout clothes," he says in a somewhat accusatory tone.
"Okay, Jake. I probably did, and…?" I say, wanting him to just spit it out.
He looks down, squeezing the bridge of his nose, and looks up again. "Bella, we've always put the kids first. This is not the time to start being selfish."
"What are you saying, Jake? Are you saying that I'm being selfish?" I ask, becoming irritated.
"Well, yes, I guess that's what I'm saying. You've started working out, and that's fine, but your first priority, right now, should be the kids. We have to make sure that our son has every opportunity possible. It doesn't look good when we don't show up as a united front."
I'm trying to keep this conversation civil. Tiff is down the hall and doesn't need to hear us arguing, but the man is starting to grate on my nerves. What the hell does he know about a united front—the only front he knows about is the front of a television.
"So, when did you have this revelation?" I ask, snidely.
"What the hell does that mean, Bella?" he snaps.
It takes everything that I have not yell at him—I manage to keep my voice down and continue, tight-lipped, "When did you realize that we need to support our kids—not just me, but the both of us? Because you certainly didn't realize it when we were married! I've been to countless team meetings, college meetings, parent/teacher conferences, and any other kind of meeting by myself. Where were you then? Where was the united front then? You go to two team meetings out of maybe, twenty, and want to tell me that I'm being selfish?"
Jake gets up from the chair and sits down next to me on the sofa. "Bella, I didn't mean to offend you, all I'm saying is this is a crucial time for Alex. Maybe it's not the best idea to start something that's going to take up so much of your time. Maybe you should wait until after he graduates!"
With my elbow on the arm of the sofa, I rest my head on my hand. After a minute, I'm able to look at him again. "I'm not going to bash you, the way you're trying to bash me. I know that I'm a good mother," I say, pointing to myself, "And I know that I've been there for my kids…"
He interrupts me, "Your kids?"
"Our kids," I I rephrase. "And I'm not about to stop now! My working out takes nothing away from our children. Yes, I enjoy it, but will I let it interfere with my children's welfare? No.
Since it conveniently slips his mind that he's the one who hasn't been there for the kids, I try a little reverse psychology on him. I turn to face him. "You know, Jake, maybe you were on to something when we were married. Maybe it's not necessary for the both of us to attend every meeting. The team meetings, for example, you know the coaches and you're familiar with the scouting process. Maybe you can continue attending those and I will take on something else." I pause a second, waiting for a reaction, but I'm surprised when I don't get one. "As long as one of us is there, it should be fine. If something comes up that requires both of us to be there, we'll address it when the time comes.
"I know the emphasis in on Alex right now, but we can't let Tiff fall through the cracks either. Maybe we can get together next weekend and put together a calendar of all their activities and make a plan. What do you think?" I say, finally taking a breath.
Backing down a little, he says, "Bella, you know that I work long hours and my schedule is not very flexible. I'm not able to plan too far in advance the way you can."
"But, as you said, this is a crucial time for Alex, and we have to make sure that we put our children first—show a united front."
He just looks at me—more like stares at me. His expression is a cross between being angry with me and being in awe of me. I can't quite put my finger on it. I have never spoken to Jake this way; and he must be in shock because he let me speak without saying a word, but I couldn't let him get away with calling me selfish. I may be a lot of things, but selfish is not one of them.
"Jake?" I say after a moment of silence.
He shakes his head and bats his eyes, as if coming out of a trance. "I guess that sounds fair. What about next Saturday night?" he asks, seemingly a little calmer.
"Saturday is fine, but can we make it the afternoon?" I ask, remembering that Rose asked if I was busy next Saturday night.
"What, you have plans next Saturday night?" he asks, throwing his hands in the air.
"Yes," I respond, "as a matter of fact, I do."
He stands abruptly and looks down at me, "See what I mean? Your plans are interfering with our kids' welfare!"
Feeling exasperated, I let out a loud breath. "Jake, I'm not saying that we can't get together on Saturday, I'm just asking if we can make it earlier?"
"Fine!" he snaps. "We'll do the same thing next Saturday that we did today. I'll pick up Tiff and I'll head over in the afternoon."
When he says "Fine!" I think of Rose's response when Alice and Leah wouldn't stay for Zumba. "Fine! Go on now, go. Walk out the door. Just turn around now 'cause you're not …" and I giggle—inwardly, of course.
Tired of sitting, I stand and face him, "Okay, Jake. We'll figure it all out next weekend. The kids will be here so we can get their input too."
"Where's Alex, anyway?" he asks, looking around.
"He's helping Seth with a project. Seth's dad will drop him off when they're done."
"I thought maybe we all could have a meal together," he says.
What? I feel like I'm on a rollercoaster. One minute, he's yelling in my face—giving me a shower, and the next, he wants to have a family meal.
He probably expects me to cook.
"Well, Alex won't be home until later, Tiff has a sleep over, and I'm meeting friends later tonight," I say, purposely being vague.
"Friends?" he asks.
"Yes," I reply, satisfied that I've sparked his curiosity.
Tiff walks into the room with her suitcase—perfect timing.
"Ready to go, honey?" I ask.
"Yep, all ready. I'm only spending the night, but I've packed five sets of underwear, two pairs of PJs, three changes of clothes and four bathing suits. Mom, do you think I have enough?" she asks.
"I think so, Ms. Smarty Pants. Let me get my sweater and we can go," I say, slapping her on the behind when I pass her. I turn to Jake, "I'm glad that we're working together on this. I'll see you next weekend," I say as I leave Tiff and him to say their goodbyes.