Merlin Drives a Hard Bargain
Chapter 4: The Silent Treatment
He saw his chance. The chance to start in with her…because you can't necessarily possess the patronus of someone you are no longer on speaking terms with.
Snape barged into her office the very next day. She was kneeling on the floor next to her fireplace. He noticed that he saw the head of Griphook, the employee of Gringotts, well, really just his head stationed in her fireplace. Septima Vector still worked in an advisory role part time at the wizarding bank. He had no idea what they were conversing about. Griphook was, after all a goblin. But he never suspected that Septima had learned, amongst many other things, how to converse with them when she was employed there before coming to Hogwarts
Inspired…witty to think of learning the language to remain in good standing with them because the goblins could be difficult at times.
I did not just think that…
Well, the lonely Usuper had to speak with someone, he gathered, because after this he would never speak to her again. And if Dumbledore inquired about this, he could speak to her all he wanted.
He, Severus Snape, would not!
"Vector, what the hell in Merlin's name are you babbling on about…" He asked her from the threshold of her office. "Have you lost your mind? Well, you've lost it already I gather, but can one lose it twice?" He glared at her with well-practiced hatred and enmity.
She turned from a kneeling position to address him in a low hiss. "Who knows? According to you, someone can be both a vampire and a hag if that's even possible. What creature limits could I ever hope to soar too?" And the sarcasm was not lost on him. "Now if you will please excuse me, Professor, I am on company time."
"Urk…I see…well then…gork urknak…" She spoke seriously and in a very business-like tone to Griphook. "Derk norgok. I will come in Saturday morning for a few hours. The conference room? Surely….you are quite welcome. Good bye, Griphook."
"Well, apparently you have forgotten English, except for choice words that are so foul I believed you to be a barman at the Cauldron, perhaps you have mastered Gobbledegook?" The biting and provocative tones were unmistakable, and he could see the harpy was growing irritated with him. Good. "And how is it that you know goblin language that well? I cannot say that you learned very much from me when I mentored you. I was wrong, Longbottom is not the only imebecile in this school."
He had to admit even to himself that that had been a bit harsh and unnecessary, but she had stolen his patronus after all.
"Did I not work at Gringotts full time before Hogwarts? Oh, wait, are you still pretending that you did not steal…oh, pardon me, Severus…confiscate my employee file from Filch when you first mentored me?" She narrowed her eyes venomously at him. "And considering I still believe that you did not ask the headmaster first that could cause you some trouble, but I am still stupid enough to not say anything about it." She glared at him, the color rising in her face.
She rose from the fireplace and slowly walked toward him. But he could see in her eyes that she still made sure to keep some distance from him. For a split second he felt for the gesture of apprehension towards him, and then he remembered who he was dealing with.
He walked over to her wordlessly and silently, the only sound was his long black robes, sweeping the stone floor as he moved.
He ignored the accusation. There might have been ah, a little truth to it, so he thought it better to avoid the subject. He wouldn't waste his valuable time mentoring just anyone. "What did they do to you?" he asked gravely, shaking his head in mock pity.
"Who?" She asked swiftly, making a face at him.
"The goblins. Interesting creatures…very manipulative…very bright, thankfully, my only encounters with them have been to do my banking. Very unusual for them to, er, work so closely with a human and a witch. Though I am still not one-hundred percent sure about this…you are so much shorter than me…perhaps I have erred regarding hag-blood….any goblin's in your ancestry." And he gave her the most smart ass smirk he could muster.
"Was there ever a time you were a normal girl." He threw up his hands and shrugged his shoulders…the act more disturbing than a slap to the face.
"Normal for a hag you mean? Because I couldn't possibly be a goblin based on your ignorant evidence…I am shorter than you because I am five foot four and you are six foot two and a male, you bloody moron! Correction…not sure, but I am still pondering the possibilities of half-bat or half-dementor as most of the castle and Hogsmeade are. Oh, wait…did that just slip out?"
She gave him an acidic, yet sweet smile. "And in their defense they are taskmasters…but do respect hard work and I was treated fairly and well."
"Let's cut out the pleasantries, Vector," he cracked sarcastically. Unfortunately, I need to speak with you before I never speak to you again."
"Do you mean it?" She blinked her eyes and her mouth opened in surprise.
"Yes, I mean it." And he was taken aback a bit, because he could be wrong but…did she not just appear to look disappointed…"
And then…which did not help his plan of action in the least…the Usurper gave him the most dazzling smile he had ever seen her make. It lit up her whole face, her cheeks turned slightly pink, and her dark blue eyes dazzled…
He remembered to hate her five seconds later…he never lost his resolve with the Dark Lord during a meeting, this should be fairly easy…
"Really? How absolutely WONDERFUL….do you mean it!" And she jumped up and punched the air with a tiny fist. And she burst out into peals of very feminine and, er, not really, very attractive laughter. Though, he supposed, some mindless dolt would probably find it attractive, er, just not him.
"Oh, oh….you have no idea….well, actually, you do…how much this means to me. I was going out tonight to have a drink with some of the staff but it was just for fun…now it is cause for celebration. Now I will have to call Griphook back, so I can make a withdrawal because I am buying a round for…everyone, perhaps every patron at the Broomsticks if I can manage it…for my very own personal joy!"
He looked at her as if she had punched him and then he recovered. The plan was failing and he wasn't sure if he should bail out or not yet. This irked him. He moved amongst his spying duties with precision and expertise. Why, was this not working for him? He never failed…ever…to get people to do what he needed or wanted them to do.
And damn it…would the fool stop…smiling…at him? He couldn't exactly cast "imperius" to deter her. He wasn't that much of a heel.
"Vector, that is quite enough. Now for the reason I am here…"
"Oh, you have one? Are you not done insulting every detail about me for the day?"
"This is extremely urgent, Vector. You do know what that means, I gather?" His tone was grave. She stopped smiling and sat down in a chair. She asked him if he would do the same but he declined with his head.
He was not making himself comfortable in the Kraken's lair of doom, if that was what she was suggesting.
"Hag's, er, eat children….he wasn't quite sure if a male over 30 was safe either…
'Will it take very long, Snape?" she asked staring at him, her curiosity now piqued. "Need to make that bank withdrawal now, you know…" She quipped.
"I will not take up your time longer than need be but it may. You should keep a jar for a rainy day… now… before I begin, I need to ask a you a few questions."
"I am not being interrogated by you, if that is what you mean. And will you please reconsider and sit down? You are making me feel like I have been dragged to an auror's office."
"Fine, if it will aid you and my purpose for being here than I don't see why not."
He walked swiftly to a chair that was facing hers and swept his long black cloak to one side so as not to sit on it. It trailed from the sides of his chair.
"Would you like some tea?" She asked politely.
"Do I appear to resemble the elderly ladies that sit in Puddifoot's, Vector?" His tone and demeanor were grim.
And then he could curse her silently again…he saw the side of her mouth twitch as if she found his remark humorous and he quieted his mind again, because this was interfering with his work.
"Vector, where do you, er, come from again? The voice was austere and he looked at her as if she were an alien.
'Severus, Wales, you know this already I believe."
"Please, don't delude yourself into thinking I harbor an interest in your dubious origins, Vector. Now… describe your home for me."
"What? What is this? Are you making a documentary? Have you gone mad?" She eyed him in disbelief.
"Answer the question if you will…" he asked sternly.
"My home is where my parents and my younger brother still live…it is by the water…"
"Do you like it?"
"I love it actually…and I miss home when I am working at Hogwarts."
"I know it must be difficult for hags…doesn't entirely add up for me either…but tell me about your affinity for mermaids?"
"How do you know they are my favorite?"
"Let me preface my statement and say that I would like to make very clear that I have no interest in your comings and goings, but I did receive intelligence that you told Professor McGonagall that you do…and also, it was brought to my attention that you visited the merpeople once when you arrived here…" His face was death."…much to the delight of our brilliant but whimsical and overly social current headmaster." He looked as if he had trouble with what he was saying.
"Well, if it means that I can end this interview sooner…then yes, both are true. I have loved them since I was a little girl…and I saw a beautiful one in Wales once. There was a high tide one summer…I am a good swimmer too…and she saved me…she protected me…and she became my patronus. I have always loved the sea and I am still not afraid of it because of what happened. It is nature just doing what she does best."
"Very touching, Vector." The words were very sarcastic and venomous but he had more trouble delivering them than he outwardly let on. He felt he had just been kicked in the abdomen. So, it was true. He knew it, but to have it so blatantly confirmed…was just too much…he felt odd. He was confused and so utterly disoriented that he couldn't fathom how he would get out of her office. He loathed her. Why was this happening to him? All he wanted was his doe back…he had to move forward…it would take all of his power to bear it but he would do what he must.
"One more thing before I leave….I…I must see it."
"My…my patronus, Snape, but why?'
"Hogwarts business, Vector."
"Does Dumbledore know about this?"
He hesitated. The Headmaster would not betray him…she may not do it without force… so he decided to say…"yes, he does."
"Fine then. What do I care if you see it? We've seen everyone else's anyway…and I am proud of her."
She rose from her chair and her face that had stared suspiciously at him now changed and grew soft and emotive.
She withdrew her wand from a side pocket of her dress and raised her arm. "Expecto Patronum!" She called her patronus forth.
Wispy, white light emerged from the tip of her wand and out came her mermaid.
"She is beautiful." And Professor Vector smiled back at the mermaid who was looking at her earnestly, but in an instant she turned and looked at Snape.
Snape started at it. He hadn't seen her since that night in the Forbidden Forest.
It was even more, er, attractive then he remembered…and the blasted thing looked happy to see him.
He fell off the chair and hit the floor.
He hadn't fallen since the time he dodged a rogue bludger in the Staff Quidditch seating area. He was livid. But at least he could deduct 50 points from both twins for his troubles.
He wanted to say something…but how could you yell at a patronus and tell it to go away? Er, be off, meddlesome patronus would surely not work.
Vector, in her astonishment, lost her concentration and the patronus disappeared.
"Severus, you look as though you've seen a dementor, are you all right?"
"Yes, and I am leaving. That is all I need to know." And he rose and dusted off his roes and as he prepared to leave, his sight caught a curious object on a shelf behind her desk.
It was a statue of a blasted mermaid. He snapped. He strode over and removed it from the shelf.
"I will need to borrow this."
"For what? And no you may not. I have had that for years…what do you need it for?"
"Hogwarts busin…"
"Right. I have heard that earlier…give it back…"
"No."
"Snape…"
"I will…not just now…I will…have the elves replace it with something else from the Castle. I will give you something valuable…something from Slytherin House so you see that I will keep my word."
"But you don't understand, you bloody moron, it is irreplaceable to me."
"You should have thought of that before you brought it here. Now, don't make trouble, Vector, or I will see to it that Dumbledore thinks it is a fine idea for you to assist me with Potions again in the very near future." It was an idle threat. The plan was, after all, to have no contact with her ever again, until he got his doe back.
"You wouldn't" she gasped.
"Believe me, I would. And let me reassure you that when I do return it, it will be my owl that does, and not me. Please refrain from speaking to me in future. If it is regarding students or work-related issues, contact my owl."
He turned on his heel and swept abruptly from the office, never looking back.